- [a few years ago, Hazel Joyce was an unmarried mother who had a baby at Esther Dunwoody's adoption clinic but decided not give him up for adoption; now she works for Esther and the two of them are doing a sales pitch to prospective adoptive parents]
- Esther Dunwoody: All our babies come with a clear biography and a clean bill of health. We want our adopters to have as much information as possible on which to base their choice. Hazel?
- Hazel Joyce: Just think of it like a bring-and-buy sale. We bring them. You buy them.
- Esther Dunwoody: Hazel...
- Hazel Joyce: You can choose your baby by eye colour, skin colour, fat, thin, or by parentage.
- Esther Dunwoody: No need for flippancy, Hazel.
- Hazel Joyce: Oh, sorry. I won't be flippant.
- Hazel Joyce: You can choose how your baby was conceived - back seat of a car, quickie in a bus stop.
- Esther Dunwoody: Right. That's enough. What's the matter with you.
- Hazel Joyce: Drunken night on the beach with a total stranger. My baby, for instance, was conceived when my uncle raped me at my cousin's wedding, in the middle of my second term at uni. Which is why, I suppose, Mrs Dunwoody has me in her book as "quite bright". Which compared to her, I am.
- [Esther tries to usher the couple out of the room before they hear even more details that she would rather they didn't hear]
- John Bacchus: Mother's hysterical apparently, which is fair enough, isn't it? Hey, do you know where that comes from, "hysterical?" Do you know where that word comes from, you'll like? You'll like this. I was readin' about it. You see, I thought it was hysterical, like Tommy Cooper, he's hysterical. But, no, it's not. It's Latin for "womb." . Eh, says a lot about women, now, doesn't it?
- George Gently: [dryly] It's Greek.
- John Bacchus: Well, they knew a thing or two then, didn't they, the Ancient Greeks?
- Esther Dunwoody: They are, for the most part, lovely, lovely girls. They make one mistake, Mr. Gently, and they pay for it.
- George Gently: My sergeant can tell you about all that.
- [laughs gently]
- John Bacchus: Yes, um
- [clearing his throat]
- John Bacchus: my wife made a mistake.
- Esther Dunwoody: You made it together, but you stood by her.
- John Bacchus: [annoyed] Yes, and now we're divorced. Can we crack on?
- Esther Dunwoody: Yes, well to thread a needle requires both needle and thread, you know.