Keeping Up with the Joneses (2016)

Zach Galifianakis: Jeff Gaffney

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Jeff Gaffney : [hiding under a table during a shootout]  I missed them.

  Karen Gaffney : [ducks down beside him]  Me too.

• Jeff Gaffney : Okay, can you guys tell us anything at all?

  Natalie Jones : I'm not Greek. I'm Israeli.

  Karen Gaffney : Ex-Mossad?

  Natalie Jones : Can't tell you.

  Karen Gaffney : Come on. Are you guys even married? Can you even tell us that?

  [Tim and Natalie look at each other] 

  Tim Jones : Yes. That actually you can't fake.

  Jeff Gaffney : But that's it? Everything else was a lie?

  [Tim shrugs while drinking coffee] 

  Jeff Gaffney : I mean, 'cause I think when you told me that you hated your job, that seemed real. I mean, from an HR perspective. That seemed real.

  Natalie Jones : [sharply]  You told him you hate your job?

  Tim Jones : [embarrassed]  I may have mentioned certain misgivings, in confidence.

  Natalie Jones : Interesting. Why is this coming out now?

  Tim Jones : Because Jeff is actually a good listener. And I did mention that to you before, in Marrakesh. At that place that we always go to. Hazim's. That day, we spent the whole afternoon here. We talked about maybe getting out of this. We talked about I could actually become a travel writer, for real. We could maybe have a child.

  Natalie Jones : That was hypothetical. It wasn't a life plan.

  Tim Jones : I didn't think it...

  Natalie Jones : [in Hebrew]  Ya'ala itcha! Sicha achat sheyotzim she'ata mastul al nargila...

  [= I've had it with you! We go out, have one conversation, and you are high with the hookah] 

  Tim Jones : [to the Gaffneys]  Okay, this is what we do. Automatically, we go to Hebrew and then it's gonna be a whole thing.

• Jeff Gaffney : [starts running on "2"]  I was making a head start...

  Karen Gaffney : On your wife?

• Tim Jones : Are you hungry?

  Jeff Gaffney : I'm famished?

  Tim Jones : Do you like Chinese?

  Jeff Gaffney : The food?