- Grandma: [Mike, Carl, Vince, and Samuel are cleaning the gutters] Where is that clueless knucklehead?
- Joyce Flynn: Well, we have a nice assortment on the roof.
- Joyce Flynn: Where the hell have you been, Romeo? You gotta put the screens and clean out the gutters!
- Mike Biggs: You gotta be kidding. I was up half the night with a colicky Carl. I had to keep driving him around the block until he fell asleep.
- Victoria Flynn: Quit whining. I haven't even been to bed yet and my buzz wore off about forty minutes ago.
- Vince: If you're jonesing, try hoofing the pine cleaner. I'm seeing double and I can't hear anything out of my left ear.
- Joyce Flynn: I sure am hearing a lot of bitching from a lot of people that live in MY house for free!
- Mike Biggs: [slight pause] The lady makes a very good point.
- Joyce Flynn: [hitting a dusty couch with a tennis racket] Jesus. It's like ten years of dusty farts in here!
- Officer Carl McMillan: Miss Flynn, I'm just here to say goodbye to Mike before I leave town to start a new life and try to mend this broken heart.
- Joyce Flynn: Well, don't get any tears on the floor, I just waxed it.