Bill (I) (2015)
Christopher Marlowe: Saying things in a short snappy way instead of a long drawn-out way is the soul of wit
Bill Shakespeare: You mean brevity?
Christopher Marlowe: Yeah
Molly: I hear the Spanish are hunky.
Sir Francis Walsingham: You hear wrong! Catholics can't put on muscle mass because God hates them! They've no muscle and no backbone, like snakes!
Molly: Surely snakes are all backbone.
Sir Francis Walsingham: Well, like worms then.
Molly: Oh, no, worms are all muscle.
Sir Francis Walsingham: Someone knows a lot about Catholics!
Molly: No, no, just garden creatures.
Sir Francis Walsingham: One can't be too careful, Molly. They're everywhere, you know. The Catholic threat may be sleeping now but it will soon awaken like a...
Sir Francis Walsingham: Yes! Good! Like a non-muscular spineless bear!
Christopher Marlowe: What are you doing in a pie?
Sir Francis Walsingham: It's a disguise. Or one might say a 'despise'. Now that works in three ways; One, it's a disguise. Two, the disguise is pie and, three, it's got the word 'spies' in it. So...
Christopher Marlowe: It's very clever
Earl of Croydon: Now I have to write a fantastic play, or some homacidal mainiac will cut my head off!
Ian: Well, report him to the Queen!
Earl of Croydon: I'm talking about the Queen!
Sir Francis Walsingham: Will everyone please stop arriving!
Earl of Croydon: [after seeing the run through of Bill's original play] Oh God, I'm dead!