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Bill (2015) Poster

(I) (2015)

Quotes

Earl of Croydon: Now I have to write a fantastic play, or some homacidal mainiac will cut my head off!

Ian: Well, report him to the Queen!

Earl of Croydon: I'm talking about the Queen!

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Christopher Marlowe: Saying things in a short snappy way instead of a long drawn-out way is the soul of wit

Bill Shakespeare: You mean brevity?

Christopher Marlowe: Yeah

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Molly: I hear the Spanish are hunky.

Sir Francis Walsingham: You hear wrong! Catholics can't put on muscle mass because God hates them! They've no muscle and no backbone, like snakes!

Molly: Surely snakes are all backbone.

Sir Francis Walsingham: Well, like worms then.

Molly: Oh, no, worms are all muscle.

Sir Francis Walsingham: Someone knows a lot about Catholics!

Molly: No, no, just garden creatures.

Sir Francis Walsingham: One can't be too careful, Molly. They're everywhere, you know. The Catholic threat may be sleeping now but it will soon awaken like a...

Molly: Bear?

Sir Francis Walsingham: Yes! Good! Like a non-muscular spineless bear!

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Christopher Marlowe: What are you doing in a pie?

Sir Francis Walsingham: It's a disguise. Or one might say a 'despise'. Now that works in three ways; One, it's a disguise. Two, the disguise is pie and, three, it's got the word 'spies' in it. So...

Christopher Marlowe: It's very clever

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Sir Francis Walsingham: Will everyone please stop arriving!

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Earl of Croydon: That poor, sexy woman!

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Earl of Croydon: Why did you let me get drunk?

Ian: I wasn't there!

Earl of Croydon: Exactly!

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Earl of Croydon: [after seeing the run through of Bill's original play] Oh God, I'm dead!

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Bill Shakespeare: Bit of a rewrite!

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Juan Domingo: [Responding to the on stage arrival of Bill] What the Hell?

Earl of Croydon: What the Hell?

King Phillip II of Spain: What the Hell?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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