Tracy Letts credited as playing...
Mr. Dashwood
- Mr. Dashwood: Tell her to make it short and spicy. And if the main character is a girl, make sure she's married by the end. Or dead, either way.
- Jo March: I took care to have a few of my sinners repent.
- Mr. Dashwood: The country just went through a war. People want to be amused, not preached at. Morals don't sell nowadays.
- Mrs. Dashwood: You never ask about my mother even when you know I've seen her.
- Mr. Dashwood: I assume she's still alive.
- Mrs. Dashwood: But I ask after your mother.
- Mr. Dashwood: And I have no idea why.
- Mrs. Dashwood: You're willfully missing the point.
- Mr. Dashwood: Frankly, I don't see why she didn't marry the neighbor.
- Jo March: Well, because the neighbor marries her sister.
- Mr. Dashwood: Right. Right, of course. So, who does she marry?
- Jo March: No one. She doesn't marry either of them.
- Mr. Dashwood: No. No! No, no, that won't work at all.
- Jo March: Well, she says the whole book that she doesn't want to marry.
- Mr. Dashwood: Who cares! Girls want to see women *married*, not consistent.
- Jo March: No, it isn't the right ending.
- Mr. Dashwood: The right ending is the one that sells. Trust me, if you decide to end your delightful book with your heroine a spinster, no one will buy it. It won't be worth printing.
- Jo March: Well, I suppose marriage has always been an economic proposition. Even in fiction.
- Mr. Dashwood: It's romance.
- Jo March: It's mercenary.
- Mr. Dashwood: Just end it that way, will you?