The Newsroom (TV Series)

Run (2014)

Thomas Sadoski: Don Keefer

Quotes 

• Don Keefer : Yes.

  Sloan Sabbith : Yes, what?

  Don Keefer : Yes, I'd love having a gal pal with no commitment and tons of sex.

  Sloan Sabbith : Great.

  Don Keefer : Just not you.

  Sloan Sabbith : What's wrong with me?

  Don Keefer : Plenty, but I really like you anyway.

  Sloan Sabbith : I'm not good at not being alone. It's what I'm used to.

  Don Keefer : Let me know if you want to get good at it.

  [He walks down the hall] 

  Sloan Sabbith : [to his back]  The sex is good.

  Don Keefer : Thank you.

• Sloan Sabbith : You gave me a little test.

  Don Keefer : You didn't do well.

  Sloan Sabbith : Is this something you read in Cosmo while you were at the dentist?

  Don Keefer : Yes.

  Sloan Sabbith : I said I'd go to the party which doesn't exist because you're a lying liar who lies a lot.

• Don Keefer : Go ahead!

  Sloan Sabbith : Here's what we are.

  Don Keefer : Bring it!

  Sloan Sabbith : I love spending time with you.

  Don Keefer : Oh! Oh Man!

  Sloan Sabbith : Wait!

  Don Keefer : I can't believe I'm getting Don Keefered!

  Sloan Sabbith : You're not! I would never Don Keefer you.

• Sloan Sabbith : Don't you like having a gal pal that you can hang out with where there are extra benefits like stock tips?

  Don Keefer : I can't use the stock tips!

  Sloan Sabbith : [Much louder]  Then how about the sex?

  Don Keefer : [Both turn suddenly to see Jim Harper standing in the elevator looking at them. Sloan and Don enter the elevator]  Hey.

  Jim Harper : Hey

  Sloan Sabbith : Hey

  Jim Harper : Hi

  Don Keefer : [after an uncomfortable pause]  It would take a long time to explain

  Jim Harper : [Cutting Don off]  Yeah, yeah

• Don Keefer : [Interrupting Sloane's monologue]  We are a couple?

  Sloan Sabbith : [Nervously, buying time]  Hmmm?

  Don Keefer : [Looking intently at Sloane]  You consider us a couple?

  Sloan Sabbith : I don't understand that question.

  Don Keefer : Yea, you do, 'cause this is exactly how I act in the same situation. Suddently I pretend I am stupid and hearing impaired. Do you consider us a couple?

  Sloan Sabbith : Do *you* consider us a couple?

  Don Keefer : I do that, too, Socrates.

  Sloan Sabbith : We are...

  Don Keefer : Yep.

  Sloan Sabbith : Okay, let me say...

  Don Keefer : Go ahead.

  Sloan Sabbith : Ok, here's what we are.

  Don Keefer : Bring it.

  Sloan Sabbith : I love spending time with you.

  Don Keefer : Oh! Oh, man.

  Sloan Sabbith : Wait.

  Don Keefer : I can't believe I am getting Don Keefer'd!

  Sloan Sabbith : You are not! I would never Don Keefer you. We're a couple. Totally. Of course we are a couple. Let me remind you, I was the one who had a problem with you trading Chipotle. Why? Because, we are... a couple! You are the one buying Chipotle hither and yon, as if, "Duh, look, I don't produce a financial show." See what I mean?

  Don Keefer : [Looking at Sloane *very* suspiciously]  Ok.

  Sloan Sabbith : Gotta slide me a waffle, man.

  [Don picks up a waffle from a stack and throws it on Sloane's plate. Sloane gives him a no-you-didn't look] 

  Sloan Sabbith : I'll address that aggressive behavior in just a moment.