Ernest Shackleton: Hello. I'm here to pitch the story of one of the greatest adventures in history. My team's journey to Antarctica.
Hollywood Producer #2: Listen, Scotty of the Antarctic, the last thing we wanna hear is a boring story about a bunch of guys who got to the South Pole *second*, and then all froze to death on the way home.
Hollywood Producer #3: Talk about a story without any warmth!
[the producers all laugh]
Hollywood Producer #1: Depressing!
Ernest Shackleton: No. No, I think there's been some confusion. I'm not Scott. Scott died on his way back from the South Pole in 1912.
Hollywood Producer #3: Ah, you must be Amundsen, the Norwegian guy who got there 33 days *before* Scott. Now that's more interesting.
[Aside]
Hollywood Producer #3: Apparently he used dogs to pull the sledges.
Hollywood Producer #2: Are these talking dogs?
Hollywood Producer #1: Lady and the Tramp Go Skiing? It's a yes from me!
Ernest Shackleton: No. No, I'm not Amundsen either! I'm Ernest Shackleton!
Hollywood Producer #3: So you weren't first *or second* to the South Pole?
Ernest Shackleton: Well, actually my team never made it at all.
Hollywood Producer #2: [Sarcastically] Oh, great! Because films about massive losers who don't achieve anything make *such* big hits!