Mom (TV Series)

Kimchi and a Monkey Playing Harmonica (2014)

Anna Faris: Christy Plunkett

Quotes 

• Christy : Well I'm glad that Marjorie's advice helped you, but it didn't help me at all, did you know she watches gay porn?

  Bonnie : Yeah, I watched it with her, I think she's onto something.

• Bonnie : Do you know the definition of insanity is...

  Christy : Yes, I know the definition of insanity! I live with you!

• Christy : [sees the beer koozie on the doorknob]  Ugggh.

  [door opens, Alvin walks out] 

  Christy : Ugggh!

  Alvin : Nothing happened, Christy.

  Christy : Dad, I'm an adult, I know a sex beer koozie when I see one.

  Alvin : Well that might be, but still nothing happened. Your mom's a real classy lady.

  Christy : Since when?

  Alvin : About an hour ago.

• Bonnie : I'm trying to find out how to fix a coin operated washing machine on Youtube.

  Christy : Finding anything?

  Bonnie : No, but check this out. A monkey playing the harmonica.

  Christy : Wow, he's actually playing the blues!

  Bonnie : Yeah, he's obviously known sadness.

  Christy : [knock on the door]  Who can that be?

  Bonnie : [to the computer screen]  Who hurt you, little monkey?

• Christy : Hey, where're your cats?

  Marjorie : [trying to get back to her porn movie]  They died, now get out.

• Bonnie : So now what're we going to do? We can't both sleep in the bed.

  Christy : Sure we can, I'm tiny.

  Bonnie : What happens when one of us has a gentleman caller?

  Christy : Well, Blanche DuBois, then one of us will sleep on the couch.

  Bonnie : That could work, but we'll need a signal.

  Christy : Like a sock on the door?

  Bonnie : Yeah but something classier.

  Christy : A sock with a top hat?

  Bonnie : How about this beer koozie?

  Christy : Yeah, that could work.

  Bonnie : Yeah, it looks like it's having sex with the doorknob.

  [sticks it on the doorknob provocatively] 

• Christy : I don't want to sleep on the couch.

  Bonnie : You want to trade with Roscoe?

  Christy : No, that's a closet!