Paddington 2 (2017)
Paddington: Aunt Lucy said, if we're kind and polite the world will be right.
Barry the Security Guard: Attention all units: An unusually attractive nun is causing mayhem in the cathedral dome. Activate emergency protocol. Stop that stunning sister!
Mr. Curry: [into megaphone] We don't want him here.
Henry Brown: No, of course you don't. YOU never have! As soon as you set eyes on that bear you made up your mind about him. Well Paddington's not like that. He looks for the good in all of us and somehow, he finds it! It's why he makes friends wherever he goes. And it's why Windsor Gardens is a happier place whenever he's around. He wouldn't hesitate if any of us needed help! So stand aside, Mr Curry. 'Cause we're coming through.
Knuckles McGinty: I don't do nothin' for no one for nothin'.
Phoenix Buchanan: Exit bear, pursued by an actor - Ugh!
[falls into train car]
Warden Walker: Paddington Brown. Ten years, for grand theft...
Paddington: Oh! But I...
Warden Walker: ...and grievous barberly harm.
Mary Brown: What happened to the man I married? He'd have believed me.
Henry Brown: Oh, him. He's gone.
Henry Brown: Would you excuse us a moment?
[flicks a switch]
Henry Brown: What are you doing?
Mary Brown: Talking to the nice men.
Henry Brown: Nice men? Mary, we can't trust these people. I mean look at them! Talk about a rogues' gallery. Hideous! And as for that bearded baboon in the middle, he's hardly got two brain cells to rub together.
Knuckles McGinty: We can still hear you, Mr Brown. That was the light you turned off. The microphone is on the other side. It's got 'microphone' written on it.
Paddington: Have you ever been fired, Mr. Brown?
Henry Brown: Well, no. But, er - Are you, you quite sure you're ready for the workplace, Paddington?
Phoenix Buchanan: [laughs] Oh very very funny. Anyway! They do say that at Madame Kozlova's all your dreams come true. So, if you had one wish tonight what would it be?
Paddington: Oh that's easy. I'd like to get my Aunt Lucy a birthday present.
[the crowd all say 'Aw.']
Mary Brown: [quietly] Darling.
Chakrabatics Instructor: Open your minds, and your legs will follow.
Paddington: [buried under a mound of sacks of oranges] These sacks are awfully heavy.
Knuckles McGinty: Well take them one at a time, then!
Paddington: Right. One at a...
[Knuckles throws a sack on him]
Paddington: ... time.
[crossing back and forth carrying a single orange:]
Paddington: One juicy orange. Two juicy oranges. Three juicy oranges. Four juicy...
Knuckles McGinty: [angrily] Now what are you doing?
Paddington: Taking them one at a time!
Knuckles McGinty: ONE *SACK* AT A TIME!
Judy Brown: Guess what, Paddington.
Paddington: [drinking from the teapot] H'm?
Judy Brown: The steam fair's coming to town.
Judy Brown: I'm going along tonight to write about it in my newspaper.
Jonathan Brown: Who's going to want to read about that?
Judy Brown: Everyone! They travel the world in a old steam train! I thought you'd love it!
Jonathan Brown: I do. Don't tell anyone, OK? Not cool.
Mary Brown: Why don't we all go?
Henry Brown: Good idea!
Mary Brown: Your father's a dab hand at coconut shy. Bullseye Brown they used to call him.
Henry Brown: Well not anymore. Coconuts are a young man's game.
Phoenix Buchanan: [brandishes a sword] Stage combat. Level Four.
Mrs. Bird: [grabs a nearby rifle] Well where I come from - laddie... They teach you never to bring a knife to your gunfight!
[cocks the rifle]
Phoenix Buchanan: I think you'll find that fires plastic darts.
Mrs. Bird: [fires a dart into the middle of his forehead] So it does.
Phoenix Buchanan: [pulls off the dart] Whereas this sword - looks very sharp!
Jonathan Brown: So - when can we expect to see Mr Buchanan back on stage?
Felicity Fanshawe: Phoenix? Oh I wouldn't hold your breath, darling.
Felicity Fanshawe: No, no, no, don't get me wrong. He's a TERRIFIC actor. But there is a teensy little problem.
Judy Brown: Really?
Felicity Fanshawe: He won't work with other people. Thinks they - 'dilute his talent'.
Phoenix Buchanan: But! I do have a little bit of good news that might turn your frown, upside down.
Mary Brown: Oh yes?
Phoenix Buchanan: It looks - fingers, fingers. Fingers - as though the funding may be coming through for my one-man show.
Mary Brown: Oh. Right.
Phoenix Buchanan: It's an evening of monologue and song featuring some of my better-known characters. Would you like a little preview?
Judge Gerald Biggleswade: Don't shush me, Gertrude! I have just been spilled upon by chilled liquid!
Knuckles McGinty: [nervously] You don't have to tell me about hard stares, I practically invented them. Pretty good for a bear, though, I'll give you that.
Mr Barnes: [giving Paddington a lift on his dustcart] Clear the road! This is a refuse emergency!
Mrs. Bird: Well I believe you, Mary.
Mrs. Bird: Actors - are some of the most evil, devious people on the planet.
Mary Brown: Are they?
Mrs. Bird: They lie for a living.
Mary Brown: Crikey.
Phibs: Don't worry! I used to be a restaurant critic. It's not as bad as it looks.
[chokes on the prison gruel]
Phibs: It's worse.
Phoenix Buchanan: Oh, well that sounds entirely... plausible.
Henry Brown: Does it? Great! Well, I'm delighted to say that everything seems tickety-boo.
Phoenix Buchanan: Wonderful.
Henry Brown: So! I'll nip back to the office and get the boys to type that up ASAP. And we'll hope to see you soon!
Phoenix Buchanan: Indeed! Perhaps next time, *not* in your pyjamas.
Mary Brown: [laughing] He's such a silly one!
Phoenix Buchanan: Now, now.