The Star (2017)

Keegan-Michael Key: Dave

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dave : Wait a second. Are they eating chicken? Ladies, run!

• Dave : Ruth, I know we had our personal issues, but we have got to set them aside and find Bo!

  Ruth : We have personal issues? Dave, you are a delight!

  Dave : I am a delight. Thank you for noticing.

• Bo : Guys, I carried a king on my back!

  Dave : We're never going to hear the end of this, are we?

  Ruth : And I hope we never do.

• Dave : Looks like it's up to me!

  [flies up to the killer] 

  Dave : Nope! Too big! Too big!

  [flies behind Ruth] 

  Dave : Ruth, looks like it's up to you!

  Ruth : To me? I knew this day would come!

  [charges] 

  Ruth : For the flock!

  [the killer kicks her away] 

• Bo : Mary, you are in real danger! You need to hear what I am going to say extremely carefully!

  [It comes out to Mary and Joseph as just donkey sounds] 

  Mary : Ever feel like he's trying to talk to us?

  Joseph : Why is he here? Where did he come from?

  Bo : She's not getting it. Okay, new plan. Can you two act like dogs?

  Dave : What do you think?

  Ruth : Uh, yes. I do a great dog. Dogs are my fourth best animal.

  Bo : Great. Just follow my lead.

  [imitates Mary] 

  Bo : Look at me. I'm Mary. I'm so pregnant.

  [imitates Joseph] 

  Bo : I'm Joseph. I'm in a bad mood. Dur dur dur dur dur...

  Joseph : Wait a minute. Is that supposed to be me?

  Mary : [chuckles]  It's totally you.

  Bo : [imitating Mary]  Oh no! Here come the dogs!

  [to Ruth] 

  Bo : That's you guys.

  Ruth : Oh! Oh! Uh...

  [pants] 

  Ruth : Woof! Woof woof woof! Throw me a stick, and I'll bring it right back! Ooh, what's this? It's a tail?

  [chases her tail] 

  Dave : Seriously? We're doing this instead of the royal caravan?

  Bo : No, Ruth, you're a scary dog. Just be meaner.

  Ruth : Oh, meaner? You mean like...

  [makes an ugly face] 

  Ruth : ... THIS?

  Bo : Yah!

  [Ruth pounces on Bo] 

  Bo : Oh no! He got me! If only a certain donkey had warned me.

  [Mary and Joseph are still not getting it] 

  Joseph : There's something seriously wrong with those animals.

  Mary : I think Bo's trying to tell us something.

  Bo : Come on... come on...

  Mary : I think he wants... a belly rub!

  Bo : What? No! I mean, yes, always, but not now!

• Ruth : Those guys? Oh, yeah. They've been following us since we came down the cliff.

  Dave : Couldn't you have pointed that out sooner?

• Dave : This is what I get for having a friend who can't fly! You know? Gates were never a problem before I met you!

• Bo : They left the gate open! I'll make a run for it. Dave, you jump out and create a distraction.

  Dave : What? No! Terrible plan! Why don't you create a distraction and I run for it?

  Bo : Because I'm the one that's trapped in here, and you can fly, as you keep telling me!

  Dave : All valid points.

• Dave : Guys, donkeys are stubborn.

  Bo : Yeah.

  Dave : He's not gonna tell you anything.

  Bo : Sorry, guys.

  Dave : You're gonna have to torture it out of him.

  Bo : Wait, what?

• Bo : The miller's on my tail!

  Dave : Yeah, and he does not look happy.

  Miller : I am not happy!

• Bo : See? I knew that would work.

  Dave : Just like we planned... with a momentary near-death income.

• Bo : Once my leg is healed, it's time for Operation: Kick Me Out.

  Dave : Good. Now, I'm an expert at this type of thing, so listen up. Things I found that tend to tick people off: Jumping out and scaring them. Singing really loudly early in the morning. Staring at them while they eat. At the risk of stating the obvious, a well-placed number two. Breaking things. Setting things on fire. Licking things that don't want to be licked.

• Bo : Nope! That's it! No more of your terrible shortcuts! We are... Huh?

  [sees Mary and Joseph] 

  Bo : Hey, look! It's Mary! That's them!

  Dave : Guess we'll have to take my terrible shortcut. You're welcome.

• Ruth : Have you ever been to Bethlehem before?

  Bo : We've never been anywhere before.

  Ruth : Well, you're in for a treat. The Samaritan Mountains are beautiful this time of year. Deadly steep, but great views.

  Bo : You've been to Bethlehem?

  Ruth : Are you kidding? I grew up around there! I know all the ins and outs, how to avoid predators and treacherous high cliffs.

  Dave : The treacherous cliffs!

  [laughs] 

  Dave : You're not seriously considering this, are you?

  Bo : Come on, Ruth. Lead the way.

  Ruth : Sheep are usually better at following, but I will do my best. Let's go, flock.

• Ruth : And now, our tour will continue past these pebbles on the path. Watch your step, watch your step, and watch your step.

  Dave : [to Bo]  I blame you for this.

• Dave : What are we doing? We're not going to stop those giant scary dogs with a fluffy sheep and a tiny donkey. Even with a very masculine and brave dove. We need backup. Where do you find a dog-eating hippopotamus in Bethlehem?

  [He bumps in to Cyrus, Deborah and Felix, who at the moment are all tangled up, and from Dave's perspective, they look like all three of their heads are on the same body] 

  Dave : A three-headed camel? Nice!

• Dave : I can carry two grapes. One in each talon. Thank you very much.

• Bo : Hey, pal! What's new out there today?

  Dave : Oh, you know. Not a whole lot. It's Nazareth. That rooster over on Fifth Street overslept again, and that horse, um... what is his name? Jeremiah? Hessikiah? There's an iah in there. He lost a shoe. And, well, it's barely worth mentioning, but the royal caravan is rolling through town today.

  Bo : What? The royal caravan? Are you kidding?

  Dave : No, buddy! For real! I spotted them outside of town and had to come here to tell you!

  Bo : Today is the day we've been waiting for!

  Dave : Nazareth can kiss my gleaming white tail feathers goodbye!

• Dave : You'd never make it without me. I am a bird of the world. I know how things work out there. You are a donkey of a barn. A very small, ill-smelling barn.

• Bo : Dave? Dave?

  Dave : I'm under you and in a lot of pain!

  Bo : [gets up]  Dave? Where are you?

  Dave : I'm right here, on your butt!

• Dave : You guys here for the show?

  Thaddeus : What show?

  Dave : What?

  [laughs] 

  Dave : What show? The silly dog asks. You're adorable. The Dance of the Royal Dove, of course. Played in Rome? Six years? Rave reviews? Cesar saw it twice. Made him cry. He won't admit that, cuz you know, he's Cesar and all, but he definitely cried like a baby!