Spoiler Alert (II) (2022)

Jim Parsons: Michael Ausiello

Photos 

Quotes 

• Michael Ausiello : [listening to the cupboard sound]  Oh god! Am I going back in the closet?

• Kit Cowan : I'm... I'm gay.

  [Marilyn looks at Michael] 

  Michael Ausiello : I'm gay, too.

  Kirby : I am also gay.

  [Kit looks at Kirby conforming] 

  Kirby : I am.

• Kit Cowan : I need you to go to my apartment and clean up.

  Michael Ausiello : What do you want? You mean like... make the bed?

  Kit Cowan : No. I need you to hide anything that looks... gay.

  Michael Ausiello : You want me to de-gay your apartment?

  Kit Cowan : Yes, de-gay my apartment.

• Michael Ausiello : I'm not really much of a drinker. I don't really like the taste, or the empty calories. What about you, drunkard or junkie?

  Kit Cowan : I am a photographer.

  Michael Ausiello : Mm, both then.

• Michael Ausiello : He has a rectal tumor the size of a Death Star, he needs a bed. We were promised a bed.

  Nurse Ruth : All the beds are occupied, sir.

  Michael Ausiello : *I don't care where you have to go and find one I don't care if you have to drive to Ikea and buy one. I don't care if you have to go to Jennifer Convertibles. Give my husband a bed!*

• Michael Ausiello : I love...

  Kit Cowan : [overlapping]  Love you.

• Michael Ausiello : I've always imagined that my life was like a typical romantic comedy.

• Kit Cowan : I wanna be your husband.

  Michael Ausiello : You're calling me chattel.

• Marilyn : He needs to keep eating, Michael.

  Michael Ausiello : Yes, definitely. He does.

  Marilyn : And so do you.

• Michael Ausiello : I was watching Days of Our Lives with my mother.

  Kit Cowan : Uh-huh.

  Michael Ausiello : And she caught me literally drooling over a shirtless Bo Brady.

  Kit Cowan : *Oh!* Ooh.

  Michael Ausiello : And it is *awkward* to realize you're gay at the same moment your mother is realizing that you're realizing you're gay.

• Michael Ausiello : Did you have sex with Sébastien?

  Kit Cowan : Yes.

  [long pause] 

  Kit Cowan : I'm sorry I lied to you.

  Michael Ausiello : I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that I made you carry so much of my baggage for so many years

  [Kit rolls his eyes] 

  Michael Ausiello : and making you feel like the bad guy so many times when you didn't deserve to. I'm sorry I never told you how good your ass looks in your khaki pants.

  [Kit laughs] 

  Michael Ausiello : 'Coz it does. And I couldn't do it 'coz I was afraid if you understood how beautiful you are that you'd leave me.

• Kit Cowan : They all really like you, by the way.

  Michael Ausiello : I feel like Nina hates me.

  [laughs nervously] 

  Kit Cowan : No, no. If she didn't like you, she'd be much more accommodating.