Reviews

This dull series profiles two rather immature men living together for an undisclosed period of time. We are to assume that they are both divorced or widowed, since each has one or two spawn in tow. The acting features Barry Bostwick trying to eke out what a TV dad would do on Friday night on ABC when confronted by the domestic problems encountered in such a living arrangement. Sadly, Bostwick's quirkiness is subordinated to the series' penchant for mediocrity. ABC knew they had winners with Full House and Perfect Strangers, at least in the ever-disappointing 'family night' market, but Dads was another one-season effort attempting to fill the gaps between the more popular attractions. All this, and the opening credits purport this ostensible comedy series as a maudlin, sentimental piece of flotsam in the cesspool of prime-time muck.

I watched this tape because of a term paper I was doing on the Panama invasion in 1989. I thought I had a good idea of the invasion, but this documentary showed what the biased news did not and was not allowed to show. After seeing the tape, I was enraged by the dirty back-room Realpolitik courtesy of Bush I and his henchmen. The comments by the Pentagon spokesman and military general were ironic when excellently juxtaposed with images that refuted their half-truths and deception. The documentary is not the kind you would ever see on the History Channel, but (perhaps for that reason) it is well worth watching. I am no history buff, but this 1 1/2 hour exposé was quick and done. You might understand why people in yet another corner of the world hate U.S. Americans after being enlightened and angered by _The Panama Deception._

When I was in high school, an usher friend of mine let me into the local mall-plex to see the banal putrescence that was "American Pie." I came home for a weekend to see the sequel at the $1.50 multiplex (that's an evening show, mind you. Matinees are $.50.) Fortunately, I didn't pay any more to see this cinema detritous.

After a very high-school-like college moving out sequence, the boys decide to rent a summer house, a poorly-disguised hotel lodge on 'the lake' in an attempt to relive one of the characters brother's glory days. See if you can spot the exit sign and regulations poster the crew forgot to disguise. Amidst the chromakeyed ocean backdrops, excessive product placement (but it's only soda, because actually showing labels on liquor bottles would send the wrong message) collapsable scenery and lghting as one-dimensional as the characters/caricatures, the kids find fun in painting a house (which never gets finished, I assume), botching sexual trysts and dancing around homoerotica.

Eventually, the repetitive facial expressions and cyclical soundtrack-enhanced scene transitions get old, but the viewer should fear not, as he is apt to enjoy another sight gag before the next reel. The boys wind up getting laid and all loose ends are tied up in the stereotypical summer-end party.

The film plays as if Kodak's moments and Muzak's stimulus progression got together to attempt a soft-touch filter (not unlike the one used on the single shot of bando girl in the car) escapade of what college life would be for slacker-hip, daddy-buys-son's-degree-in-four-ecstatic-years creightons. Like Spring Break, Losin' It and other forgettable efforts, American Pie 2 is sure to leave an indelible mark in the annals of cinema. Or not. I just wished that the directors would have used the 'snapshot/still-frame' technique for the credits so the audience would have some crackers with its cheese.

Certainly, this movie is a great documentary. The juxtaposition of places and footage makes it interesting, and the soundtrack adds to it, but the movie itself comes off as laughable. First, the film is unreasonably long. For as much as the film attempts to cover, one can't help but wonder when the film will end. It could end in about five places, and none would be any too soon. It's a stretch and is abrupt when it ends in a still-frame.

I'm a polite man, but my friend kept checking his watch throughout the feature. Reminiscent of the Timex Indiglo ads occurring in movie houses, rating films with anti-star 'flashes,' each flash being a check of the watch, this movie would be about a fifteen for my friend. Also, when one puts the film style aside, some annoyance comes from the subject himself. The old man is constantly moaning about his hip possibly breaking again. My friend's response to that was that he would have dropped Schoenbaum in the jungle had he been in the crew. Personally, I found the old man whiny some moments and a beautiful inspiration at others.

Parts of this film reminded me of a Book-of-the-month club commercial, if such organization did commercials. Except it's all for Tobias Schneebaum. In addition, the animated stills from the over-touted picture-book were downright tacky.

All in all, the film was long-winded and schizophrenic. At times the juxtaposition was genius, but at others, and far too often, it was confusing and downright annoying. So if you want to see a film about a 'beautiful, old man' reluctantly stumbling his way through his old haunts, _River_ is for you, but if your local art cinema carries more than one film, I suggest seeing that one.

This sequel to 1994's Brady Bunch Movie proved to be very something, but not very brady. Very realistic? I think not; members of a family as wholesome as the Bradys would never sleep with each other. Very satirical? Not here either; the subjects of satire have to be slightly recognizable when presented in their new form. Here is not the Brady Bunch. All this film presents is a group of folks more intent on slandering the retrospective reputation of the Bunch than presenting a pleasant, uproarious and deadly accurate spoof which had already been done in 1994.

I suppose that the filmmakers realized that they couldn't make more of the same movie, but they should have quit while they were ahead. I waited with much anticipation for this film and was thoroughly disappointed by it. Fortunately it had little success as most people remember the original and better Brady Bunch Movie, not this unbelievable waste of good Brady impersonators--a very poor sequel.

This film, designed for teenagers, is hosted by Dr. Walter H. Smartt, the former Chief of the Division of VD Control of Los Angeles County. It explains the symptoms of only syphilis and gonorrhoea to teens in an effort to keep them from getting VD. Due to the nature of this film and the way presented, it would be wise to preview this film before showing it to a classroom. All in all, it is done well enough to keep teenagers' attention, perhaps because of the reasons that make a preview necessary; it is no sleeper. If you like this film, check out "A Million Teenagers."

Featuring an interesting opening sequence, this educational film delivers a powerful message to teenagers. At the time of production, 1964, not 1974, 250 000 teenagers contracted VD yearly. Remakes include a 1970 film, "Half million teenagers," and 1985's "A Million Teenagers." Sadly, the number has only increased.

The films are largely the same; each has been designed for the teen audience. Each film describes the VDs in detail, but syphilis receives less discussion as time goes by and remakes are made. AIDS is mentioned in the 1985 film. The film discusses how organisms enter the body and the diseases' untreated effects and ends with discussion questions. Featuring honest, normal teenagers, the 'million' series is sure to please any high-school audience.

Being a teenager, I roll with the punches whenever I see 'my people' ridiculed in movies. However, I have a friend who's an usher at the local cinema, so I never pay for my addiction to teensploitation films. Cruel Intentions features a rather two-dimensional cast with no real emoting. Certainly, one sees lust, envy, jealousy and the like. All of these characteristics are fun to watch in a film, but nothing in a teensploitation film ever bears any resemblance to anything in real life. Yes, this modern version of les Liasons Dangeurus (sorry about the spelling) is entertaining and will be sexy for the next few years. But just like the soap opera that it is, this film will hold your attention for the duration, leave you with an oh-so-predictable ending and seem pointlessly dated in five years--that is, if you ever desire to watch the film again.

I watched this film in my 12th grade English class after we read Macbeth in class. Incidentally, I was Macbeth. Anyway, this film serves as a difficult-to-watch grainy vehicle of murder for self-promotion. The filming style, though not transferred well to pan-n-scan VHS, copies the dark tension and slow descent to insanity Lord Macbeth suffers. An excellently acted and worthy film. Especially notable end, though the entire film is quite graphic.

The Monster Club is the best of all worlds. It features silly costumes for campiness and new-age rock music from 1980 London for a pulsating, driving beat to keep this roller-coaster of a film racing along. Thrills and chills dispensed by Carradine and Vincent Price will leave you waiting for more. The film is an anthology-type, so it is composed of three vignettes narrated by Price. Despite the traditional dislike audiences have for anthologies, The Monster Club is sure to please.

What happens when Hollywood casts three outstanding comediennes/actresses in a comedy designed for anyone who works? The answer is emphatically, 9 to 5. The chemistry between the "career girls" in this fantastic romp flows so smoothly. Backed by a cool title song, the film packs a solid punch.

The first time I saw Shock Waves, I was pretty scared. Although the MPAA gave this film a PG rating, it stuck with me. I can still remember the Nazi soldiers walking out of the water and goose-stepping about on the island. I recommend this film to those who are history buffs or anyone interested in the cloning/gen. engineering realm. However, I had nightmares for a while and have uneraseable scenes from it in my head.