Reviews

I saw a copy of this in Turkish without subtitles on Raygun TV. Not speaking a word of Turkish myself, I watched with the sound off. I haven't laughed so hard since Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things! Thus I can't speak to the dialogue, but absolutely everything else is so perfectly wrong! Snippets of Star Wars footage blatantly stolen. Grown-ups dressed in costumes so silly that no self-respecting six year old would wear them for a school play. Force? We don't need the Force; we have ludicrously choreographed fight scenes and looking up at crotches as the crotch bearer bounces off a trampoline again and again and again. I assume there must have been something like a plot in there somewhere but I couldn't spot it on my own. It's wrong and it's bad and I love it in the weirdest way possible. WHERE ARE THE SEQUELS?

This movie is similar to Puppet Master 3: Revenge of Toulon (1991) that I can't imagine the writer and director hadn't seen it before making this inferior film. Not that Puppet Master 3 was a masterpiece but this is so, so much worse. We're talking hand-puppets here. The accents are laughable, the costumes and makeup clownish. What more do you want from me, IMDB? Must I write a thesis to simply warn people away from a tragically stinky pile of crap on the cinematic lawn? There's not that much to say beyond that. If you're contemplating this, watch a Puppet Master flick instead.

Dammit, need t.

I don't write reviews on here much anymore but after being suckered into watching Sandra Oh's blatant, ham-handed, sappy, not-at-all-scary vanity project, I felt like I needed to warn fellow horror aficionados that this is NOT A HORROR MOVIE. There are no demons in it. In fact, there are maybe five minutes of anything vaguely horror-related. 75% of this movie is a tight shot of Sandra Oh's (and I may be conservative there). See Sandra Oh cry. See her get angry. See her look confused, all in extreme closeup! In fact, if you don't love Sandra Oh, there absolutely no reason to watch this trite, maudlin, BAD movie because it's ALL about keeping Sandra Oh in your face at all times. The best analogy I can think of is that woman who was selling her farts in jars online recently. This movie is Sandra Oh farting in a jar and Netflix bought the jar!

Netflix has no business selling this as a horror movie. Sam Raimi must have his own reasons for associating his name with this garbage. I had no strong feelings about Sandra Oh before seeing this. Now that I have, I will actively avoid anything starring Sandra Oh in perpetuity.

The only good thing about this movie is that it was Jeff Thomas' last piece of crap. He made three films, each worse than the last, and this movie is the ultimate testament to his utter incompetence as a writer and director. Thank God he'll never do it again.

Boring, poorly acted, and PREACHY. I'm a 50 year horror fan and if you love horror, don't watch this. If you enjoy being religiously preached at, then knock yourself out. I don't.

I don't want to waste a lot of time reviewing this steaming heap of terrible. Suffice to say that there's no yantras, just a ouija board with the letters blurred out. There's nothing about Tantra or mysticism. Instead, it's a trio of twenty-something Irish people working in a coffee shop in Ireland.

If you're looking for something terrible, look no further. This one stinks in every way.

I make it a rule never to watch a movie starring its director. This one got me anyhow and wow, it's a great example of why I have this rule.

The acting is amateurish at best. The dialogue is hilariously stilted. The script veers into incoherence on more than one occasion. Then, just when I thought it was over, it kept tacking on more WTF moments, culminating in a cheesy lullaby set for some reason in 2036.

Avoid with extreme prejudice. It's all kinds of terrible.

There is nothing like horror in this tedious melodrama. If you're looking for horror, look elsewhere or suffer through endless soap opera-quality awfulness. I have nothing good to say about this one.

If you like Hungarians sitting on couches and talking to the camera, you're going to love this movie. It never shows us anything, opting instead to let Hungarians on sofas describe it. Why bother with action sequences and flashbacks when you can let a Hungarian on a sofa talk to you instead?

This movie demands to be seen on a double bill with Barn of the Blood Llama. Drugs help.

How could Mario Bava directing Vincent Price result in this running sore of a terrible movie? Come for the idiotic screenplay, stay for the casual racism. Gouge your own eyes out, stick them in your ears, and flee toward the exit ASAP. I watched this because I love Vincent Price but in this exercise in incompetence even he isn't enjoyable.

Some things are best left in the past.

Choppy, episodic, and unsatisfying. I felt like the movie abandoned coherence completely 3/4 of the way through. There's no payoff and the ending is worse than "it was all just a dream." Pass this one by. There's not a thing to recommend this forgettable mess.

There's a lot wrong with this movie. The comedy falls flat. The performances are unconvincing. But if I had to sum it up in a word, I would call this flick annoying. The character of Finbar might be the worst thing since Jar-Jar Binks. The stupid jokes are annoying. The predictable and not funny ending is annoying.

An awful time is guaranteed for all, no matter how many fake 10s this trash accumulates.

I wouldn't want to give too much away but don't go in expecting a lot of nods to zombie horror canon. It has it's own twisted internal coherence and goes off in its own direction. Speaking of which, the direction of this film was solid.

Thoroughly enjoyable, full of witty bits and observations. What it lacks in budget it makes up for in spirit.

I forced myself to sit through an hour of this before giving up. 90% of what I saw was people sitting around talking in stilted sentences that sounded like someone wrote them. People don't talk this way.

It drags and it lags. There's an aura of hubris around this film, the kind one might expect from a naïve beginning director. Despite claims, there's nothing sensational about this snoozer.

Quentin Tarantino and John Waters are pleased to announce the birth of their bastard child. It's a bouncing, healthy transvestite exploitation/revenge movie! Wait, did I say healthy? Strike that. It is, however, a whole lot of fun to watch. It's Kill Bill meets Pink Flamingos and, yes, there are ticked-off trannies with knives here, and they're the best ones you're likely to ever see. So see them, already.

This flick is camp, knows it, flaunts it and works it. Never once did I get the feeling it was trying to take itself seriously, although there are some grind-house-style grueling moments involving large knives and foreign objects inserted uncomfortably into body cavities (the latter never explicitly shown). The eponymous trannies are of the convincingly feminine type and include a dark-skinned stand-in for Divine who plays the psychotically vengeful mama-tranny almost too well. I can't imagine why John Waters hasn't heard of him yet. Witty and catty lines spill effortlessly and convincingly, with grind-house intensity mixing perfectly with comedy throughout. The culmination is a very dark but twistedly satisfying ending that you will NOT forget anytime soon.

This is far from a perfect film. Its low budget shows through in many places, and the "reel missing" gag goes on a bit too long. The main villain isn't a very good actor; he comes across hammy and his timing is just off in a number of scenes. The effort to shoehorn in pop culture references as comedy sometimes fall flat, too. It's not enough to make this anything less than a worthwhile, fun and uniquely off-the-wall experience, though, and the presence of a subtly scary drag queen nurse with the name Helluva Bottom-Carter makes up for all of the shortcomings in a single five-minute scene.

If you like John Waters, you'll definitely like Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives. If you like Both Waters and Quentin Tarantino, you'll like this gem even more. This one is destined for cult status.

A no-budget, straight-to-video piece of garbage without a single redeeming quality. The acting is outrageously bad throughout, the sound is inaudible much of the time, and the whole thing looks like a series of single takes recorded on a $200 hand-held video camera someone picked up on sale at WalMart. The villain is a short guy in a black jumpsuit wearing white pancake make-up with black greasepaint around his eyes and mouth.

When in one of the earliest scenes a woman is going to have an abortion performed in a building and you can see the words "Family Dental Clinic" on the signs on the lawn and next to the door, you KNOW you're in for something so bad that "subpar" would be a gross understatement of the massive dose of badness and banality yet to come, and on that front "The Unborn" never disappoints. The director didn't think enough of a potential audience to assume they could read; he certainly isn't about to present anything challenging, or even interesting, afterward.

This isn't just bad, this is "Oh my god, you have got to be freaking kidding me!" horrible. Anybody who rates this trash more than one star must have been involved with it, and in any case neither their taste in horror films nor their sanity should be trusted.

While the animation is quite good in spots, the film itself lacks warmth or chemistry. Much of the voice acting, particularly that of Dakota Fanning, is flat and sounds forced. While the 3D was interesting enough, several scenes felt like they'd been inserted for no other reason than to stick something in the audience's face. Example: the banana slug scene, which added nothing to either the story or character development. Parents should take note: many children under 9 or 10 in the theater in which I saw the film were scared to tears by the villain; I heard quite a few "Mommy, I'm scared! I want to go!" and similar complaints resulting in young children leaving the cinema. All in all, Coraline is visually nice, though not particularly noteworthy (old videos for the band Tool did better with the same sorts of material, for instance). The story is an interesting one, but this adaptation will likely leave most viewers over the age of 15 cold and those under 8 too scared to enjoy it. This is certainly nothing on par with "The Nightmare Before Christmas," and even "The Corpse Bride" was a stronger animated film.

Slowly limping along, this movie is best used as a tranquilizer. The African god Chuku, fervently worshiped by a scene-chewing Jack Palance, apparently talks his victims to death. Some people get killed while Palance smokes cigars. The plot doesn't just have holes, it tears at the very fabric of space and time until "Craze" finally comes to an entirely predictable end. If you can keep from nodding off while watching this, you're a more determined viewer than I.

I saw this on "Shilling Shockers" with host Penny Dreadful. If you find yourself with insomnia then watch this movie and you will sleep. If it doesn't work for you... consult your physician.

If John Waters had written and directed "House of 1000 Corpses" after being struck about the head repeatedly with a heavy object, the result would probably be something like "The Blood Shed." It's mildly entertaining for the first half hour, but then it slides into a sort of featureless glop of constant screaming and people doing things to each others genitalia with electric carving knives, cutlery and pliers. Susan Adriensen (Sno Cakes) is incredibly annoying and Terry West (Elvis Bullion) is almost as bad in whatever it is he's doing in front of the camera.

Maybe the best thing about "The Blood Shed" is that it won't take most viewers very long to forget about it.

The best thing on this DVD is the introduction by the late great Forrie Ackerman. The movie itself is rather creative considering that it was made by a bunch of teenagers in their backyard. Still, that doesn't make it a good film. It's a bit like kindergarten macaroni art made by Leonardo Da Vinci; historically interesting, perhaps, but nothing one would consider equal to the Mona Lisa. Its still a movie made by kids, and it shows. This is cinematic refrigerator art. Its wonderful that some of the kids who made this got Ackerman's encouragement and went on to great things, but those kids are in their 50's and 60's now and no longer need our encouragement, and I can't recommend this. The script is trite, the stop-motion animation is dated and amateur, and the whole thing is hard to watch.