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5/10
It's nostalgia time!!!
23 April 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I was a huge fan of the original Mighty Morthin Power Rangers TV show when I was growing up. I practically owned every action figure and Zord configuration available in the UK. So naturally when I heard about this Power Rangers special I was excited to see some of the original cast return for a reunion set in Angel Grove.

The Power Rangers TV show was a low budget kids TV show based on a Japanese TV series. The show used fight footage from the Japanese show mixed together with original scenes shot exclusively for a western audience. The show was very cheesy and very low budget with many of the actors being paid very little despite the shows increasing popularity.

This one off special was produced and financed by Netflix one of the leading online video streaming services in the world with enough money to make a half decent Power Rangers special with modern special effects. Unfortunately however this modern short film somehow manages to look even cheaper and low budgeted than the original low budget show from the nineties.

The special effects in this special are extremely cheap and underwhelming to the point that it makes the original nineties show look more futuristic and visually pleasing. The sound quality and ADR work in this special are abysmal many of the voices don't sync up properly with the actors in the suits actions on screen. The scenes of the characters standing around talking to each other sounds very echoey. I have seen fan made Power Rangers movies with better mic and ADR work than this and this is meant to be a multi million dollar Netflix special.

The plot of the special revoles around the death of the yellow Ranger Trini and how it affects the other Rangers. Rita Repulsa sorry "Robo Rita" uses this tragedy to her advantage to capture the remaining Power Rangers who are older, weaker and grief stricken to capture them, shrink them down to size and use a machine to extract their power essence. The Rangers gather their strength back through the power of friendship and let's face it nostalgia in order to find the strength to defeat robo Rita once again saving the world.

I actually found the scene of the Yellow Rangers death rather comical due to the fact that Rita had attempted to kill the Power Rangers so many times in the shows original run but failed every time but it's this time that she finally succeeds in killing one of them, not with a giant monster or one of her clever schemes, what finally works for her is just casting a simple death spell that one of rangers heroically dives in front of in order to save one of their comrades that finally lands her a kill.

This special relies heavily on the audiences knowledge of Power Rangers lore and not just the original Mighty Morthin Power Rangers lore but many of the other Power Rangers TV shows lores aswell. The ability for the Power Ranger's to talk and work together through multiple different dimensions and points in time is very clumsily and lazily explained leaving the audience asking eh "How does that work again?" But you just have to kinda role with it with a brief explanation of how it works.

There are a lot of little easter eggs and slight nods for fans of the series to enjoy but casual viewers will probably be thinking to themselves "Where's the action?".

The special isn't all bad it is enjoyable enough for me to recommend to fans of the original Mighty Morthin Power Rangers TV show and it does deliver in many ways. The action while not anything special is still fun and enjoyable with a lot of classic Power Rangers flips, kicks, punches and an excessive amount of "It's Morthin Time!" moments. The costumes aren't too bad and they do capture the spirit of the original show by having costumes instead of CGI which is nice. The Zords are cool looking and again look very similar to original show.

All in all this special is what it is a very low budgeted Netflix special that attempts to cash in on the nostalgia factor in the hopes that fans will tune in for a quick if rather underwhelming and uneventful Rangers reunion.
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4/10
Rise but no Shine!
21 April 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I went into this Evil Dead film with low expectations especially after being disappointed by other recent horror movie sequels like Halloween Ends, Scream VI and Hellraiser (2022). My expectations were apparently not low enough though as I was thoroughly disappointed by this movie.

This new addition to the Evil Dead universe is easily the most tame and least frightening of the franchise. The original Evil Dead trilogy starring (Bruce Campbell) was the perfect mix of horror, dark humour, excessive levels of gore and a likeable lead character who tied it all together with the help of his chainsaw and boomstick. Even the (2013) Evil Dead reboot movie had some fun and interesting ideas which while not anything particularly ground breaking still gave fans a ton of gory kills and passable enough characters that don't leave you with a headache between their deaths.

Evil Dead Rise fails to bring anything original or even of any value to the Evil Dead franchise. The main cast of characters are mostly teenagers who are written as mere plot devices to move the story forward. A good example of this is one particular character wants to become a DJ so he has a record mixing turntable set up in his room. This is the characters defining characteristic which exists so he has an excuse to play a record of a priest reading a passage from the book of the dead raising the deadites. That's all the character development there is for this character until he dies. The other main characters have very little back story or defining characteristics other than they are all related to each other.

The deadites in this Evil Dead movie are tame in comparison to the previous Evil Dead movies and the TV series. The lead deadite shown in all the trailers for the movie is the mother of the child characters in the movie and we watch as she becomes possessed and hunts her family down to turn them into deadites aswell. Unfortunately however the lead deadite spends most of it's time on screen screaming incoherently, falling over or saying cheesy one liners. When the killing does begin there are some moments that are fun and gory such as a deadite eating a guys eyeball out of his eyesocket only for it to be followed by something as stupid as her spitting the eyeball out and it just so happens to land in another characters mouth choking him to death in a shot that looks less Evil Dead and more Tales from the Crypt. This was clearly an attempt to copy a similar scene from Evil Dead 2 only without the dark comedy that made the scene work in the first place.

The special effects range from practical effects mixed with CGI that look surprisingly well done if not entirely original in design to a CGI mess that looks so unrealistic and fake it takes you right out of a scene that's supposed to hook you in with its suspense.

The absolute worst thing about this movie however is that it takes place in a run down appartment building filled with other tenants but only the people on the top floor of the appartment building are attacked by the deadites or are even aware of the chaos that goes on in the building over just one night. In the span of a few hours the building is affected by a significant earthquake that literally cracks a hole in the buildings foundations, the elevator gets filled with blood and destroyed flooding the elevator shaft and the ground floor with mass amounts of blood, the stairs in the building are completely destroyed, there are screams and even gunshots in the building at least ten people die and through all of that the other people in the building just simply don't let it interrupt their fine evening at home. This might seem like an odd thing to point out but the movie even shows a character who lives in the building the morning after the massacre saying they had trouble sleeping due to a thunder storm that night nothing else just the thunder not the mass murder or anything.

I really don't recommend paying to watch this movie in cinemas it really isn't worth the price of a ticket to watch a movie that is only worthy of being on a streaming service like Hulu or Shudder at best. The movie insults Evil Dead fans by simply doing just the bare minimum necessary for it to qualify as an Evil Dead movie.

The reviews for Evil Dead Rise say things like "Overwhelmingly scary" and "The best Evil Dead since the original" whoever wrote these reviews have either been paid to praise this movie or they have never seen a horror movie in their entire life and are the kind of people who would get scared watching a Paranormal Activity movie.
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Scream VI (2023)
4/10
The writers take another Stab at the mutilated corpse of the Scream franchise
9 March 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Scream 6 is exactly what you think it is an awful continuation of an already outdated slasher movie franchise.

I loved the first three Scream movies but they were products of the time, a time when twists in movies were still somewhat inventive and could actually surprise you. Scream 4 and 5 both had incredibly predictable plot lines with twists so weak they make Scooby Doo twists look like a Sherlock novel by comparison.

Scream 6 follows the same group of failed attempts at characters from the previous movie only this time the entire movie is focused on them in a weak attempt to make these new characters the lead protagonists of the new Scream franchise.

The plot is basically just Scream 2 with a few minor changes to the script. The villains who take up the mantle of ghost face also have the same motivation for killing people as Nancy Loomis in Scream 2.

The absolute worst thing about this movie is the "writers" of this crapfest bring back a character from Scream 4 who was dead at the end of the movie and not even referenced in Scream 5 it's just incredibly lazy writing and a cash grab attitude to the entire movie.

Neve Campbell didn't want any part in this movie and I can't say I blame her for not wanting any part in yet another retred of a movie she did over 20 years ago. Courtney Cox returns as Gale Weathers only for her character to be made even more unlikeable and hated than she was by the cast of Stab 3 in Scream 3.

The only saving grace is the gore in this movie is actually pretty decent with a heavy focus on stabbing to an almost excessive amount. The only downside is the stabbing is made kinda pointless when almost every character walks off their stab wounds like it's nothing. There is one scene in particular where a character is stabbed around twenty times with two knifes but he still survives and makes a joke while being put in the back of an ambulance at the end of the movie.

At this point I'm so sick and tired of horror movies that think by simply following the nostalgia of the original movies makes their crappy sequels good when in reality they really aren't.

I wouldn't recommend paying to watch this movie in the theatre. The reviews online say that this Scream movie is the best since the original keep in mind they said this about Scream 4 and Scream 5 so take that for what it's worth.
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Candyman (2021)
3/10
"Say IT!" Once more with even less feeling
27 September 2022
This film is an absolute bore to sit through. The first thirty minutes of the movie is all talking and with very little character development to show for it.

I went to see a horror movie and it instead felt like I was watching a movie on how the original Candyman film impacted black cinema and how all white people are the true villains of the movie and Candyman is just the side character.

The original movie wasn't anything amazing by any means but what made it great was the grittyness of the movies backgrounds and a truly memorable performance by Tony Todd as Candyman aswell as some gory and inventive kills that were pretty innovative for the time.

This "Interpretation" of Candyman is like a film students first attempt at making a movie, overly artsy with a pushy in your face message about society with a cast of one dimensional characters who have about as much personality to them as a blank wall.

All people wanted was a simple horror movie with some fun and inventive blood filled kills in it. Instead we got a made for teenage audience "horror movie" with a majority of the kills and violence taking place off screen and in the rare instances where we actually get to see some violence it's shown via reflections in mirrors from artsy camera angles which add nothing to the scene other than to annoy the audience who would rather see the violence up front instead of from a disjointed camera angle.

I do not recommend this movie to anyone who has actual good taste in movies because this movie wasn't made for fans of the original movie or of Clive Barkers original novel. Fun Fact this movie doesn't even mention Clive Barkers name or put a disclaimer in the credits stating "Based on characters created by Clive Barker" in the opening or closing credits of the movie which suggests he either didn't want his name attached to this pile of crap or they just didn't care enough to credit him.

This movie was made for the modern day generation of teenagers who would get scared watching a Paranormal Activity movie. An absolute waste of time and cost of the Blu Ray.
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Resident Evil (2022)
2/10
Another stain on the Resident Evil franchise name
18 July 2022
This series is worst thing to happen to the Resident Evil franchise since Paul W. S Anderson decided to make five Resident Evil movie sequels for his wife to both star in and ruin Resident Evil fans lives with a decade of crappy movies.

This Netflix series is a stain on the franchises name and was made purely to capitalise on a popular franchise. I am glad it failed and hopefully Netflix will learn a lesson from this and give up on any other Resident Evil projects they may have in the works.
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Leap Year (2010)
3/10
CGI Ireland landscape shots and Irish culture stereotypes
30 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I recently was asked to watch this film by my girlfriend after a conversation about romance movies. I have never been a big fan of romance films or rom coms but I have a soft spot for some classic romance novels such as Romeo and Juliet, Pride and Prejudice and Jane Erye. I reluctantly agreed to watch this movie which she claims is her all time favourite romance movie. In my opinion this film is about as romantic as forgetting your anniversary and buying a bunch of half dead flowers from the local garage on the way home from work to make up for it.

I honestly wasn't expecting much going into this movie as it's plot revolves around a woman who after being disappointed that her boyfriend doesn't propose to her after four years together gets the idea to propose to him instead. Anna (Amy Adams) travels across Ireland with a handsome stranger Declan (Matthew Goode) who she has just met so she can make it to Dublin just in time to propose to her boyfriend. Anna and Declan get into various situations that delay Anna from reaching Dublin and of course the two fall in love on this wacky journey and she leaves her boyfriend for Declan and they all live happily ever after.

This film was neither romantic nor funny. Amy Adams character is written the same as every other stereotypical female rom com character. She lives a charmed life, has plenty of money, a career and a boyfriend who she seems happy with at first until she meets Mr Charming Aka stereotype character number two Declan (Matthew Goode). Declan is the charming and handsome stranger who behaves like an immature man child who only cares about money until Anna melts his heart and he becomes tolerable at best. Nothing about these characters is original or even relatable they are basically just the stock characters that come with every half assed rom com movie.

I don't understand how any woman could find this movie romantic or heart warming if anything it's insulting to woman as it portrays the main character of the film as helpless and lost without the aid of a condescending, egotistical man in her life to insult her and treat like a lost puppy. There are far better romance films out there than this pile of rubbish there are far better rom coms aswell such as (A lot like love) and (When Harry Met Sally).

If your looking for a simple minded rom com that focuses more on handsome strangers falling madly in love for no other reason than because it's written in the script then Leap Year is the movie for you. However if your looking for something genuinely heartfelt, romantic and sophisticated then avoid this movie at all costs.
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Mortal Kombat (2021)
4/10
A huge let down
7 July 2021
Mortal Kombat (2021) is by far one of the worst video game movie adaptations I have seen in the past twenty five years.

The film spends far too much time introducing popular MK characters that have already been well established and given a proper back story in the video games. This is a MK movie for crying out loud the MK franchise has been going since the early 90s anyone watching this movie already knows who Scorpion and Sub Zero are they are the two most popular characters in the franchise.

Many of the characters iconic powers are made completely pointless in this movie. There's a particular scene in the movie where Sub Zero uses his ice powers to bombard his targets with icecles but none of them are sharp or even vaguely pointy he essentially throws icy slush at them injuring nobody not even the defenceless civilians. Liu Kang uses his fireball attack a handful of times throughout the movie and like Sub Zeros ice power he harms literally no-one with it not even when he hits Kano in the face with it instead Kano just shrugs it off like it's nothing.

There are a couple of fatalities in the movie that are somewhat decent and bloody but unfortunately they only take place during the last twenty minutes of the movie and are just fatalities from the game nothing new or exciting. All the special effects in this movie including the blood are all just CGI special effects with almost no practical effects outside of set designs which still look cheaply made. The Prince Goro character is entirely CGI and in my opinion looks even faker than in the 95 MK movie and that was just a rubber animatronic with stop motion special effects. Goro looks more like one of the CGI orcs from the live action World of Warcraft movie only with worse CGI.

The costumes look worse than in the 90s MK movies and look more like costumes used in a fan made MK movie not a modern high budget movie. I personally wouldn't use any of these costumes in MK 11 unless I wanted my character roster to look more like their rejected character concept art.

The films soundtrack is atrocious and lacks any energy to it which is a shame because the 90s MK movies had such kick ass sound tracks that got your blood pumping during fight sequences. The iconic Mortal Kombat theme is used for five seconds during the movies climax and is played over the ending credits. The MK theme in this film is just another crappy modern day techno remix with no bass to it.

The movie teases a sequel or to be more accurate the entire movie is one long teaser trailer for the next movie which judging by this crap will be about as entertaining as watching paint dry.

If your a Mortal Kombat fan try and avoid this movie if you can because it will only leave you feeling disappointed and angry that even after over twenty years they still can't even put together a half decent MK movie.
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Spiral (2021)
5/10
More from the book of Law than from the book of Saw
27 June 2021
The Saw franchise is well known for two things high levels of gore and surprise plot twists. Spiral is a desperate attempt to try and revive the Saw franchise by taking the Saw franchises most basic elements and adding Chris Rock into the mix.

The story revolves around two metro city detectives Zeke (Chris Rock) and his new partner William (Max Minghella) as they investigate a series of murders which mimic the Jigsaw killer John Kramer. Zeke discovers that the Jigsaw copycat is targeting police officers that have a history of corruption and violence on the force. Zeke is chosen by the killer to investigate the case due to his history of doing the right thing and turning in corrupt cops. Zeke and William soon begin to uncover evidence of deep corruption within the police force as more dead police officers begin turning up each with ties to Zeke and the police force. It's up to Zeke to put a stop to the Jigsaw copycat killings by following the law and doing the right thing in the name of justice.

Spiral is certainly an ambitious new entry into the Saw franchise but sadly that's also the movie's biggest downfall, being linked to the Saw universe. This would have been a much better movie had it been it's own movie with it's own unique set of characters with a new and unpredictable storyline. Sadly the film just copies every Saw movie by trying to incorporate a "Big twist reveal" into the story which is so predictable and unoriginal it took me just twenty minutes to figure out with the killer was going to be making the film more like an episode of Columbo than CSI.

I will give the movie credit for having some interesting ideas for new Jigsaw traps. The blood and gore in this movie is still pretty high as it is a Saw movie after all but it somehow feels lacking when compared to the previous Saw entries.

Chris Rock gives a decent enough performance in the movie my only criticism about his performance is that his character act's more like a street cop than a serious homicide detective. Samual L Jackson "Co Stars" as Chris Rock's characters father but in my opinion Jackson is given way too much credit in this movie and is given top billing when he only has around ten minutes of screen time throughout the entire film. Max Minghella gives arguably the most believable character performance in this movie and deserves more credit for his role in this film.

Overall Spiral is yet another disappointing entry into the Saw franchise which fails to bring anything original or even memorable to this already dead franchise. I recommend waiting until the movie becomes available on a Streaming service like Netflix as it's not worth the price of a cinema ticket or paying the equivalent of a cinema ticket to stream online.
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8/10
Very relatable
21 June 2021
I personally am not a huge fan of Romantic comedy's and I absolutely cannot stand Billy Crystal as an actor or as a comedian. But for some reason I just can't find it in myself to hate When Harry Met Sally.

I only recently decided to give the movie a chance after having it recommended to me for years by friends and by every girlfriend I have ever had. I was honestly expecting this movie to be just another romantic comedy with an all too neat and happy ending. This is one of those rare instances where I'm actually glad I misjudged a movie because it led to me enjoying this movie more due to it's surprisingly clever written dialogue and relatable characters. I went into this movie expecting an unfunny romantic comedy about two people who hate each other but end up falling in love. Instead I found myself laughing and relating to the main characters in a unique way that actually made me want to see these two people end up together.

This is easily Billy Crystal's best performance in his entire career and I say that as someone who hates Billy Crystal. Meg Ryan also gives a superb performance in this movie. The two work well together with Crystal's character being the more sarcastic and skeptical of the two. This works well with Meg Ryan's character who is much more upbeat and optimistic bringing some much needed balance to their characters ever evolving relationship.

When Harry Met Sally is a film that was certainly ahead of it's time with it's cleverly written dialogue, relatable characters and sophisticated adult humour. I highly recommend giving this movie a chance if you have never seen it before you won't regret it.
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5/10
Still better than Saw in my opinion
17 June 2021
The Wizard of Gore (1970) is one of the weirdest and most bizarre horror movies I have seen in a long time. I personally am a huge fan of these kinds of independent, low budget exploitation horror films that focus more on excessive levels of violence and gore than on spooky storytelling.

The Wizard of Gore follows an on stage magician/illusionist named Montag the magnificent who's unique on stage shows involve him violently mutilating female audiences members who volunteer to take part in his act. The audience watch as Montag mutilates the female volunteers in several gruesome ways such as sawing a woman in half with an electric chainsaw. The audience believe this to be only an illusion when it is revealed that the volunteer is in fact safe and unharmed. But after two reporter's take in Montags show they begin to notice that after show whoever volunteers each night turns up dead under mysterious circumstances leading to them investigating Montag and the mysterious deaths after each one of his shows.

The practical effects in this movie make it worth watching, while they may not look very convincing by today's standards, by low budget 1970s standards they look pretty darn impressive. If you're expecting this film to be an over the top slasher movie about a killer magician who goes around killing off victims one by one in various silly over the top ways then you will sadly disappointed. This a slow and often repetitive horror film that takes it's time building up to the excessive gore and violence but when it does eventually get to the gore it more than delivers if you have the patience to wait.

The Wizard of Gore may not be a masterpiece of cinema by any means but if you enjoy watching old horror movies packed with excessive levels of gore and bad acting then The Wizard of Gore is definitely the movie for you.
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A Quiet Place (2018)
6/10
*Fingers on lips*
10 June 2021
I only recently took an interest in this movie after seeing a lot of advertising for A Quiet Place Part II. I looked online at the reviews for this movie and they were mostly positive with high ratings.

A Quiet Place (2018) follows a small family as they try to survive in a world overrun by vicious creatures that hunt and kill anything living. The creatures are blind so they hunt via sound and touch. The family try to create a sound free environment using creative and innovative ideas that help create a quiet environment for them to survive in. However with a new baby on the way the family do their best to prepare a completely sound proof environment for when the baby arrives but the baby comes sooner than expected causing all hell to break loose as the creatures draw near.

The idea for this movie's story is definitely a unique and interesting one which in the hands of a talented writer could have become something a lot more original and genre defining. Sadly for every one thing this movie does right it does ten other things completely wrong.

I sadly lost interest in the movie around the half way point when it became incredibly obvious what was going happen in the movies climax. Anyone with a braincell could figure out this movie's ending after only thirty minutes into the film due to the movie's incredibly obvious foreshadowing.

The films clever use of sound or in this movie's case lack of sound gives the audience a somewhat unique and memorable cinematic experience, one that feels like a mix between silent tranquility and suspense.

Even though I personally didn't enjoy this movies poorly written storyline and obvious foreshadowing which unfortunately spoiled this movie for me a bit. I still recommend A Quiet Place for it's beautiful cinematography and it's unique audible experience.
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World War Z (2013)
6/10
"Spines are devine, but knees are just fine"
3 June 2021
Warning: Spoilers
World War Z (2013) is a somewhat ambitious zombie action movie that had a lot of potential to become a genre defining movie but sadly falls short in the movies third act.

World War Z follows a former UN field agent named Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt) and his family who on a seemingly normal day find themselves fleeing a city wide zombie outbreak. The family just barely escape the city when Gerry is contacted by the UN Deputy Secretary General who arranges for Gerry and his family to be evacuated by evac chopper. There's just one catch, that Gerry go back to work for the UN and help investigate the origins of the zombie virus in the hope's of finding a cure. In return Gerry's family will be kept safe as long as he makes himself useful. Gerry agrees and once he and his family are rescued and secure he goes back to work investigating the origins of the now global zombie virus. This leads Gerry on a chase for information on the origins of the virus which takes him across the globe to Korea, Jerusalem and England as he fights for survival against innumerable hordes of zombies.

World War Z is primarily an action film that focuses it's attention more on how many CGI zombies are on screen at one time more than it focuses on it's characters and plot. Brad Pitt gives a great performance but his character is sadly lacking any real personality or backstory. All we really learn about his character Gerry is that he's a family man who gave up his job to be with his family and this all information learnt within the first ten minutes of the film. It's hard to get invested in a film where the main character has about as much personality and charm as one of the rotting zombies trying to kill him.

The first hour and a half of the movie are almost completely action oriented containing explosions, hordes and hordes of zombies, plane crashes, soldiers fighting off zombies everything you would expect from a blockbuster zombie action movie. Then during the last thirty minutes the movie suddenly turns into a Resident Evil film when Brad Pitts character has to slowly and quietly make his way through a research laboratory. The movie's ending is very disappointing and anticlimactic, leaving many unanswered questions in favour of a lazy voice over by Brad Pitts character.

The most disappointing thing about this movie is it's lack of blood and gore. In order to keep the film PG-13, the films overall violence and gore is toned down considerably when compared to other more adult zombie films like 28 Day's Later or the Dawn of the Dead remake. There's still plenty of action to enjoy in this movie but just don't expect to see anything particularly graphic or bloody because you will be disappointed.

World War Z is by no means the best Zombie movie ever made by it's certainly not the worst so I would definitely recommend giving it a watch to find out if your a fan or not.
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Rollerball (1975)
7/10
Beware the Moonpie!
1 June 2021
In the year 2018 the world is at peace, war has been abolished and crime is none existent. The world's countries are no longer run by government's. Corporations are now the leaders of the world and controller's of the people, the word of corporate executives is the law and they have the final say in all affairs. The corporate leaders take anything they want from anyone at anytime including people's loved one's. In return for the unquestioning rule of the corporate leaders every citizen is provided for in every way possible, completely abolishing famine and poverty.

In this peaceful futuristic society one game rains supreme Rollerball!. A hyper violent sport where players are given free reign to injure and even kill members of the opposing team all in the pursuit of slamming a metallic ball into a small hole to score a point for their team. The story follows Rollerball champion Jonathan E (James Caan) who after a ten year career as the number one Rollerball player is told by the corporate leaders to retire no questions asked. Jonathan however refuses to retire and instead begins to challenge the corporate leaders by continuing to play the game even after corporate leaders alter the games rules turning Rollerball into a suicidal death game.

I personally hate sports related movie's and have next to no interest in any kind of sports and while Rollerball is technically a sports thriller it's also a science fiction political drama. The film goes into great detail showing how this futuristic society operates, this is something that is often lacking in modern day science fiction films. There's one particular scene in the movie where James Caan's character requests a book detailing the history of the corporate wars which led to cooperate leaders ruling the world. His character is told that all books have been transcribed onto a large computer database where much of the text is redacted. These small but detailed scene's give viewers a brief window into the everyday lives of this futuristic society which again is something modern day science fiction movies often cut from the final version of the movie in favour of CGI heavy action sequence.

Rollerball is a seriously violent and deadly fictional sport with some of the most bizarre rules you can imagine. Pretty much anything goes in this game, players are given free reign to attack and even kill each other using any means at their disposal. This leads to some very violent and over the top action scene's of players fighting and killing each other in various brutal and bloody ways.
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Stalingrad (1993)
6/10
A must see war movie!
30 May 2021
Stalingrad (1993) is one of the most graphic and brutal war movies I have ever seen.

Stalingrad's story follows a platoon of German army soldiers who are transfered to Russia and end up fighting in the battle of Stalingrad. The platoon find themselves questioning their officers orders to kill innocent Russian people and Russian POWs. Stalingrad shows the brutal reality of war from the perspective of the German soldiers forced to fight in a war they want no part of.

Stalingrad is one of the goriest war films I have ever seen. I've seen a few war films that show a lot of blood and guts but very few movies go too such extremes as this movie does. There's one particular scene in the movie in which a soldier takes a Russian tank shell directly to his body and then as the camera pans out and the smoke clears we see the soldier's body in two half's with his top half standing upright in the snow armless then two seconds later the soldier screams in agony still alive. This was meant to be a serious moment but because I was watching a dubbed version of the film the dubbed actors scream was delayed by a few seconds making it unintentionally hilarious to watch.

I highly recommend Stalingrad if you enjoy watching old fashioned war movies that depict the harsh and brutal realities of war from a unique perspective.
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3/10
Irredeemably Bad!
28 May 2021
The first two minutes of this movie are so irredeemably bad that they make the opening scene from the original American Pie look dignified by comparison. The first three American Pie movie's are by no means cinematic masterpieces but they at least contained a cast of funny and likable character's who do eventually grow in maturity as the movie progressed.

America Pie: The Book of Love is one of the worst "comedy's" I have ever seen and that's coming from someone who grew up watching movies like Euro Trip, Road Trip, Scary Movie and Jackass.

When I sat down to watch this movie I was expecting to see some idiotic attempts at humour but what I didn't expect to see was a scene where a CGI moose violates a naked man over the hood of a car.

Seriously don't waste your time watching this movie it's neither funny or erotic unless you have recently sustained a massive head injury.
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Black Mask (1996)
4/10
Not Jet Li's best film!
27 May 2021
Black Mask (1996) is one of the most ridiculous and over the top martial arts movies I have ever seen.

The plot of this movie follows a man named Tsui Chik (Jet Li) a former test subject of a failed experiment to create super soldiers. Tsui Chik and the other test subjects underwent an experimental procedure to remove their ability to feel pain and emotions turning them into unstoppable killing machines. Tsui Chik escapes from a death squad sent to terminate the project, after which he decides to live a quiet life as a librarian free of violence. But when a new gang comes to town and begins killing off all of Hong Kongs most notorious drug lords in a string of vicious murders Tsui Chik recognises the violent handywork of his former test subject compatriots. Tsui Chik realises that he is the only one capable of taking on his former allies but by doing so he puts his friends at risk, so in order protect his true identity Tsui Chik becomes the masked hero known only as Black Mask.

The Black Mask character is like something out of a cheap comic book series that you'd find in the discount section of a comic book store. Jet Li gets "dressed up" in what looks like a homemade comic con outfit which leaves him looking like a mix of both the Green Hornet and Zoro.

My favourite scene in the entire movie is a scene where Jet Li's character throws CD disks at the bad guys like there ninja throwing stars but are so sharp they actually manage to slice through skin and bone and become lodged in someones skull. Then later in the film Jet Li's character gives his cop friend a CD disk with a computer program on it and all I could think to myself was "Careful those disks are sharp" I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

The special effects for this movie are bad even by 90s standard's and features some of lamest looking laser gun effects you will ever see in an action movie.

Jet Li is an amazing martial artist who has stared in some amazing martial arts films during his career as an actor and stunt performer. Black Mask however is probably one of the worst movies he's stared in. All I wanted to see in this movie was Jet Li facing off against a gang of martial arts trained super soldiers in hand to hand combat while some kick ass music plays. Sadly the movie failed to deliver on that promise by having some of the worst fast editing I have ever seen in a martial arts movie.

This also wasn't helped by the fact that I own the UK release of the movie which is missing some scenes cutting the movies run time down to only one hour and twenty two minutes. The UK version is also horribly dubbed with no option to switch to the original audio. The original soundtrack has also been switched with some of the most generic stock action music I have ever heard.

Even though I didn't really enjoy this movie I still recommend giving it a watch if you enjoy cheesy martial arts movies that unintentionally make you laugh.
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Oldboy (2003)
8/10
Vengeance takes on a whole new meaning!
26 May 2021
Old Boy (2003) is by far one of the weirdest and most disturbing films I have seen in quiet a while. I went into this movie knowing very little about the movies plot other than what was printed on the back of the movies Blu-ray cover. I knew Oldboy was a vengeance story that much was obvious but I had no idea just how twisted and insane this movie was going to be.

The story follows a ordinary man named Dae-Su (Choi Min-sik) who finds himself the victim of a kidnapping. Dae-Su wakes up and finds himself prisoner inside a private makeshift prison cell with no knowledge of why he was kidnapped or for how long his captors intend on keeping him prisoner for. Dae-Su spends the next fifteen years alone, trapped within the confines of his makeshift prison with his only source of information and entertainment being a Television. Then one day without any rhyme or reason Dae-Su finds himself waking up inside a suitcase in the same place where he was kidnapped fifteen years ago. Now a free man Dae-Su sets out on a mission of vengeance to uncover why he was kidnapped and by who so he can finally exact blood soaked vengeance upon the one responsible for his suffering.

Oldboy is an absolutely stunning film that keeps it's audience on the edge of their seat from start to finish with it's cleverly written and well thought out storyline, stunning visuals, and intense fight scenes. I was honestly blown away by this movie's over the top violence and expertly shot action sequences.

I highly recommend watching Oldboy it's a one of kind movie that will have you on the edge of your seat from start to finish.
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5/10
Another unnecessary prequel film
25 May 2021
Ringu 0 or as it's also known Ringu 0 Birthday was released in 2000 and is the third film in the Ringu trilogy. Ringu 0 is actually a prequel film which is set thirty years before the first Ringu film and tells the story of how Sadako ended up at the bottom of the well.

This is a bit of a unnecessary origin story largely because the first two Ringu films already provided enough backstory to the Sadako character that there was precious little left to explore.

I personally enjoyed the first two Ringu movies and was happy with how the story ended. This movie does add a bit more backstory to the Sadako character but not enough to warrant a feature length prequel movie.
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The Eye (2002)
6/10
Genuinely Creepy!
24 May 2021
The Eye (2002) is a Hong Kong-Singaporean horror film which was released around the same time as some other more well known Asian horror films such as Dark Water, Ju-On and Ringu.

The Eye tells the story of a young blind woman named Wong Kar Mun (Angelica Lee) who undergoes a cornea transplant, but gets more than she bargained for when she discovers that in addition to getting her sight back she can now see the spirits of the dead.

The Eye is a very different kind of horror film when compared to others of it's kind, while other Asian horror movies like Ju-On and Ringu focused more on violent, malevolent spirits The Eye focuses more on trapped spirits with unfinished business. I wouldn't call The Eye a particularly scary or violent movie however it does contain some genuinely creepy and atmospheric moments that will send a shiver down your spine. There are a few scenes that show several burnt and disfigured spirit's who have died violent or painful death but they never actually harm or latch onto anyone they just wander about looking horrifying but sometimes that's scary enough.

The Eye is definitely worth a watch especially if you enjoy Asian horror films that focus more on atmosphere and clever storytelling than on cheap jump scares and over the top violence.
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7/10
Even as a robot Robin Williams is still funny
22 May 2021
Bicentennial Man (1999) was one of my favourite Robin Williams growing up and remains to this day one of my all time favourite movies.

Bicentennial Man's story is about a one of kind robot named Andrew (Robin Williams) who dreams of becoming a human. This story puts a unique and interesting twist on such classic stories as Pinocchio. The film follows the two hundred year journey of a unique robot who becomes an integral part of a human family, falls in love and helps create fully functioning artificial organs that help save and extend human life which also helps make robots more human. Andrew slowly becomes more and more human over time through a series of upgrades until he becomes an artificial human who will age and eventually die alongside like a human being.

A lot of people seem to hate this movie and consider to be just another kids film filled with silly humour and a touchy feely message about love. I personally think Bicentennial Man is a great movie that brings together Robins Williams unique and lovable style of humour and acting together with a heart felt story about love and what it truly means to be human.

I highly recommend watching this movie especially if you enjoy family friendly Robin Williams movies filled with laughter, joy and some genuinely sad and heart felt moments.
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Rampage (2018)
4/10
Rampaging Ego
19 May 2021
Rampage (2018) is one of the most idiotic and insulting action/monster movies I've ever seen. The movie is based on the classic arcade video game of the same name released in 1986. The game itself was a standard beat em up style side scroller where the player took control of a monster which rampages through the city destroying buildings and vehicles. So how exactly did filmmakers take an 8 bit arcade classic and turn it into a big budget blockbuster?. Simple they hired the Rock and based the entire movie around his ego and a few mutated creatures who do nothing but destroy buildings and eat people.

The movies "plot" if you can call it that is about a bunch of animals who become exposed to a experimental pathogen that mutates their DNA making them stronger, more intelligent, more aggressive and causes them to grow too monsterous proportions. One of the animals exposed to pathogen is a silver back gorilla named George who has a unique bond with a primatologist named David Okoye (Dwayne Johnson). The two people responsible for creating the pathogen want the monsters DNA to create even more monsters so they activate a special sonar satellite dish that only the monsters can hear due to their mutation which drives them wild drawing them the signals source to destroy it. David along with a genetic engineer named Dr. Kate Caldwell (Naomie Harris) track George and the other animals as they rampage across the city towards the signals source hoping they can save George the gorilla before he kills more innocent people. David and Kate find themselves up against a pair of idiotic siblings who created the virus while also going up against the army aswell a trio of giant mutated animals.

On paper this just sounds like another silly action movie but it's actually far worse than that. Not only does this movie contain some of the most idiotic and utterly ridiculous characters you can imagine in a movie like this but the movie contains a lot of unfunny attempts at humour most of which is just Dwayne Johnson belittling the movie's other male characters. Dwayne Johnsons character is just an egotistical bully in this movie as he often humiliates almost every other male character in this movie to the point where the movie tries making Dwayne Johnson look like he's gods gift to woman. I get that this is just a character and it isn't actually based on Dwayne Johnson as a person but still his character is like every school bully combined into one giant duchbag.

The special effects are somewhat decent and the giant monsters don't look all that bad sadly it doesn't amount to much when all they really do is trample over and destroy buildings then have an anticlimactic fight in the last ten minutes of the movie.

I seriously don't recommend watching this sorry excuse for a monster movie it's one of the worst monster movies I've ever seen and it seems to only exist to make Dwayne Johnson slightly richer with an even bigger ego than he had before.
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Taken 3 (2014)
5/10
Their Taken the Smeg!
19 May 2021
Taken 3 (2014) is by far the worst entry in the Taken movie trilogy. The first two Taken films had a unique style to them that combined fast paced action together with clever storytelling. A large part of what made the first two Taken films so memorable was Liam Neeson's character Bryan Mills. Neeson's character is written almost like a modern day James Bond, a smooth talking ex special forces agent with a unique set of skills. Liam Neeson was the only reason anybody went to see Taken 3 just to see Neeson kill some more bad guys while acting like baddass.

The plot of Taken 3 is a little different from the first two films instead of Neeson's character going after some bad guys who abduct his family this time he's being hunted by the police for a murder he didn't commit. At first this storyline seems like it might lead to something new and interesting with Neeson's character using his skills to solve his own murder case while playing catch me if you can with the police. Sadly it becomes painfully obvious about twenty minutes into the movie who the real killer is making the rest of movie feel like a complete waste of time as we are forced to watch Neeson try to figure out who set him up for murder when the audience has already figured out the obvious twist before the murder even takes place.

This film "Co stars" Forest Whitaker as the lead detective assigned to track down and arrest Neeson's character. Forest Whitaker is a very talented actor who's talents are completed wasted in this movie when all his character really does is spout out exposition dialogue, eat bagels and say lines like "send backup" and "what kind of a man buys hot bagels, then comes home and commits and murder?". There's seriously only one scene in the entire movie where Neeson and Whitaker are in the same room together.

There's still plenty of action in this movie however most of it consists of car chases and Neeson's character basically just beating up and almost killing innocent police officers for just doing their job. The only decent action scene in the entire movie takes place during the last twenty minutes of the movie when Neeson's character fights a Russian gangster who fights hand to hand in his tighty whities.

Taken 3 is nothing more than a quick cash grab made primarily to cash in on Neeson's most successful character role before he gets to old to make sequels. I don't recommend paying to own this movie on Blu Ray or 4K-ULTRA HD save yourself some money and watch it on a streaming service like Netflix.
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7/10
"The things you're most afraid of have already happened"
17 May 2021
One Hour Photo (2002) is an unique and interesting film that tells the story of a photo technician named Sy (Robin Williams) who works at a supermarket one hour photo booth. Sy is a man with two obsessions. The first is for his love of photography which he consistently obsesses over from everything to how film is developed too the more philosophical question of why do people take happy pictures and not sad one's?. Sy's second obsession is with a young family who's photos he has been developing for nearly a decade. Sy begins stalking the young family to extreme lengths which leads to him following the family around and taking pictures of them from the window of his car. Sy's disturbing obsession with this young family soon leads him into taking his fantasies to the next level.

One Hour Photo's story is told from the perspective of the stalker who in this film isn't just some out of control psychopath like in a horror movie. Robin Williams character Sy is a deeply disturbed sociopath who's obsession with photography plays into his own fantasies of him being part of a loving family with him playing the role of the husband. Williams character uses his job as a photo technician to steal the personal photographs of a family who he perceives as being the perfect family which leads to him developing an obsession with the family to the point where he fantasies about becoming an integral part of that family. The interesting thing about this character is that from a audience point of view you don't want to hate him for what he's doing but rather hope for the best that he gets the help he needs before his obsession goes too far.

Robin Williams gives one of the best performances of his entire career playing such an intense character role so vastly different when compared to his usual more light hearted character roles. It's a shame Robin Williams didn't get the chance to do more movies like this especially when he showed time after time during his long career that his acting talent went far beyond just comedic roles.

I highly recommend giving One Hour Photo a chance it's a genuinely thought provoking Thriller that mixes together beautiful camera work with an atmospheric music score to give a unique view inside the mind of a sociopath.
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Blood Diamond (2006)
5/10
Take a shot every time Dicaprio says the word Bru or Diamond in this movie
16 May 2021
Blood Diamond's story is about an African man named Solomon Vandy (Djimon Hounsou) who's son is stolen from him by rebel soldiers during an attack on his village. Solomon's wife and daughter escape the rebel soldiers but Solomon is captured and is forced to work as a slave in a rebel diamond mine. There Solomon uncovers a rare diamond which he then hides from his captors by burying it close to the rebel mine. Shortly after the rebel mine is attacked by government soldiers and Solomon is placed under arrest forcing him to leave the diamond behind. In prison an ex mercenary turned smuggler named Danny Archer (Leonardo Dicaprio) learns of Solomon's hidden rare diamond. Solomon makes a deal with Danny in exchange for the diamond Danny must help him rescue his stolen son from the rebels aswell as a cut of the profits. The two begin travelling across Africa too the rebel diamond mine along with an American journalist named Maddy Bowen (Jennifer Connelly) who wants detail's from Danny about how conflict diamonds are being sold on the black market aswell as the names of those involved. As they travel across the war torn landscapes of Sierra Leone they find themselves caught up in a cival war between government soldiers and rebel forces.

The film is set during the Sierra Leone cival war of 1999 and while the story is obviously fiction the film attempts to touch upon some controversial issues such as consumerism and the exploitation of the African people.

The film contains a large amount of violence and brutality with many scenes showing innocent people being gunned down in large numbers by child soldiers and rebel forces. There are some close up shots of people being excuted and shot at close range again by child soldiers.

Leonardo Dicaprio plays a white African male with one of the worst accents he's ever done in a film. Dicaprio gives a great performance (aside from the accent) but sadly his character just isn't very likable and quickly gets on your nerves by saying the words bru and diamond in almost every sentence.

I recommend watching Blood Diamond (2006) at least once too see what you think of it personally.
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Goosebumps (2015)
6/10
And they lived Slappily ever after...
14 May 2021
Almost every person who grew up in the 1990s and early 2000s remembers Goosebumps weither you enjoyed the creepyness of the original books or you have fond memories of the enjoyably bad Goosebumps TV series. I personally remember checking the Goosebumps books out from the school library and reading them in bed at night when I was kid and from what I remember a few of them even gave me nightmares. In 2014 the Goosebumps franchise had reached nostalgic age which of course meant that it was the perfect time for movie producers to reboot the franchise and cash in on another nostalgic property.

Goosebumps plot follows a teenage boy named Zach (Dylan Minnette) who moves to a new town with his mother. Zach quickly makes friends with the girl next door named Hannah (Odeya Rush) who lives with her overprotective father, who warns Zach to keep away from his daughter. Zach of course doesn't listen and along with his new best friend Champ (Ryan Lee) break into Hannahs house to try and help her after Zach overhears her screaming and shouting from his house. Zach and Champ accidentally open a locked book inside Hannah's house and find that a monster emerges from the book which quickly flees the house. Hannah's father reveals that he is infact R. L Stine (Jack Black) the famous writer of the Goosebumps books and that if his original Goosebumps manuscripts are opened a monster will be unleashed from it's page's. This begins a night of horror when all the Goosebumps monsters are released from their books under the command of the infamous ventriloquist dummy Slappy. Together the monsters wreak havok upon the small town and it's now up to Zach, Hannah, Champ and Stine to put the monsters back inside their books.

Goosebumps (2015) is definitely a movie meant primarily for young children with a lot of silly humour and a cast of Goosebumps monsters that aren't particularly scary even for kids. Slappy is the leader of the all the other Goosebumps monsters in this movie with a large bulk of the monsters screen time being focused mainly on him as he gets up to mischief while making silly jokes so inoffensive and childish even a six year old would role their eyes at them.

This isn't a bad Goosebumps movie by any means if anything it's actually pretty decent in terms of a modern day reboot of a beloved childrens series. The only downside is again it's primarily a kids film so there's not a whole lot for fans of the original books to enjoy but for a modern day childrens audience it's a perfectly harmless and entertaining movie.
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