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niriath
Reviews
Johnny vs Amber (2021)
"Non biased", my tiny rat's *ss
When I saw they were telling Johnny's story first I knew what side these "documentary" makers were on. They clearly intended people to initially tend to side with Johnny, because that's the side most people were on anyway (though 50% of his story was repeated in the second part) and would then be blown away by Ambers side of things.. and boy did they fail!
By far most of the arguments made by the people on Ambers side were about how unfair she was being treated, the public vilifying her and having their mind made up no matter what evidence there is to the contrary. And that would would be very true, íf she was actually speaking the truth! Which she wasn't and everybody knew it.
The evidence they mention is statements from previous psychologists saying Johnny had substance abuse issues, which he had already atmitted to and wasn't on trail for. No evidence whatsoever proved he actually laid a finger on Amber.
This was just pathetic.
Croc-Blanc (2018)
Why is the animation so bad?
Sure, it's not entirely White Fang as we know from the books. Less brutal and depressing, it's a more child friendly story and it's beautifully done, don't get me wrong..
But why is the animation done so badly? It looked more like some kind of late 90's pc game rather than an actual movie that came out in 2018. If the animation was on par this could have been an instant classic, why they chose to go this way with it is beyond me.
Sure, it's not entirely White Fang as we know from the books. Less brutal and depressing, it's a more child friendly story and it's beautifully done, don't get me wrong..
But why is the animation done so badly? It looked more like some kind of late 90's pc game rather than an actual movie that came out in 2018. If the animation was on par this could have been an instant classic, why they chose to go this way with it is beyond me.
Hot Forever (2022)
Iliza at her most mediocre
Such a shame, I loved her previous stand ups so much but with this one I just felt like I kept waiting for a punchline that never came, I couldn't relate to any of it.
It was so slow and weird, the same lines were repeated over and over again as if each one was a completely new joke, while the first one wasn't even necessarily funny.
It's mostly weird body contortions, weird voices, strange mimicks and inner dialogues that just don't sound organical.
She's trying to relate so much to a specific demographic and I just don't understand which.
Also, and I don't know if this is actually the case, but at times I felt like a lot of the cheering and applause was added in post production because the audience would go completely balistic but then the camera would zoom out and most people were just sitting there silently and very few people were actually clapping.
Till Death (2021)
Can't even finish it
The on-the-nose and cheesy dialogue, the horrible acting and Megan Fox's complete expressionless face.
The stupid decisions and awful make up choices.
Just nope.
Turning Red (2022)
"Hello, fellow children!"
Was the first thing that popped into my head.
What's with the incredible awkward dialogue and over the top "quirky" characters. What type of kids are they trying to relate to with this movie. I watched this with a couple of nieces and nephews as I thought being in their early teens they might enjoy it but they were just rolling their eyes from start to finish.
Free Guy (2021)
Ryan Reynolds playing Ryan Reynolds, but damn is it entertaining!
Ryan Reynolds is now just basically being paid to be himself for an hour and a half.
Witty, endearing and crazy funny. Loved every second of it and didn't want it to end.
Best movie I've seen in a long time!
Encanto (2021)
A bit mediocre
The premise is good and the visuals are truly amazing, but I found the story to be very thin and bland. Also way too much exposition. Actually show the audience who this family is and what they can do, instead of telling us about each family member and their gifts through one quick song. It's just lazy.
The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea (2000)
Awful awful awful
What was up with this movie?! The 1989 original was so beautifully drawn, the songs were absolutely great and the characters had depth and were mezmerizing.
Why was the sequal so terribly boring and bland? The dialogue was cheesy and uncomfortable.
And what was up with the horrible animation? It looked so incredibly bad! The facial expressions were completely off and even creepy at times and the voice acting was totally out of sync. It's like they had a $50 budget for this movie with $40 left over after finishing it.
Why did they do this?
The Walking Dead (2010)
A real shame
The first 4 seasons were genuinely great! Mostly interesting characters with depth and good archs. Season 5 was okay but became a bit messy. Following seasons became a who' who of human stockpiles. Way too many characters, descisions that made no sense, blurry storylines and no character development.
Entering season 11 and I truly have no idea who most of these people are anymore, what they're doing and why.
The Goldbergs (2013)
Not as funny as people make it seem
This show is mostly playing on feelings of nostalgia and very little actual humour.
We get it, it's the 80's! One reference after another isn't comedy. Someone saying walkboy and another person correcting them saying it's a walkMAN isn't a joke.
Better Call Saul (2015)
Excellent show, but really slow..
Currently halfway into S2. This show is very well written and the acting is really on point but the storyline takes forever to develop, it just drags on and on. You don't even need to watch all the episodes, just watch every other episode and you wouldn't miss much. I'm grateful for Mike's storyline, cause if the whole lawfirm drama angle isn't your cup of tea (which it really isn't for me) it would be hard to stay interested otherwise.
The Dare (2019)
Nothing too special but still okay
Tortured and damaged soul returns on an anniversery to torture his former bullies.
This movie isn't doing anything new, but what it does, it does well.
The 100 (2014)
Interesting premise, awful writing
My god this is some bad writing! Every piece of dialogue is so insanely cringeworthy your eyes will be in the back of your head for most of the times. The exposition is through the roof, have the writers never heard of the concept 'show, don't tell'?
Maybe teens enjoy this stuff, but if you're over 16.. don't bother
The Mist (2017)
Unbearable!!
This has to be some of the cheapest and laziest writing, and worst acting I have seen in a very long time!
Here's This Guy, he's bi and gets bullied. Also there's This Girl, she's a teen with an overprotective mom, which to her means her mom doesn't love her. Also These Dudes, they're the shallow jocks. Then we have Mom and Dad, they have marital issues. And don't forget Some Other Girl, she's a junkie and has problems too.
There's your 15min spent on character development, now go and ENJOY!
I could not get past the first episode and reading the reviews I'm guessing it's not going to get any better.
I Am Mother (2019)
Mothers' plan isn't bulletproof..
It has been explained by a lot of reviewers here so I don't feel the need to add more to it. Daughter is now becoming Mother to a whole new, psychologically and emotionally, superior generation of humans, and it seems Mothers' plan has worked. Just one big BUT:
We can see that Mother clearly has no problem with disposing of/aborting/killing any imperfect child it has raised. But she raised Daughter to value human life so it's fair to assume Daughter herself will not be killing any of the children she is raising, even the imperfect ones.
So with imperfect humans raising more imperfect humans won't humanity eventually end up in the same place it was before the extinction?..
The Gift (2015)
A lot of build-up to very little
I expected a lot more to be honest. There really wasn't much tension to be felt (the only moment I was a bit scared was when I thought Gordo might have killed the dog) and there was no gotcha! feeling at the end to make up for anything. I was really underwelmed at the ending..
Summer of 84 (2018)
Didn't see that coming
I thought this was just gonna be a sort of lighthearted teen/horror movie, and it was up until the last 15 minutes. Holy *** is this a depressing ending or what! Took a real dark turn there..
Fractured (2019)
Disturbing from all angles
Working in a psychiatric hospital I couldn't help but see this movie from the staff's perspective which made the movie even more disturbing for me.
I see people losing grip on reality every day and, sadly, sometimes there's nothing you can do to help them see things the way they actually are, and when they become violent there's no predicting their behaviour or what they're capable of.. Even killing the very people who truly try to help them.
This movie did a great job portraying the despair on both sides
Baantjer het begin (2019)
Has little to nothing to do with the books or series
But it's still one of the best Dutch productions and greatest movies our country has to offer.
It's a good story, the cinematography is great and the acting supurb. Especially Tygo Gernandt, who plays his role magnificently!
The Shining (1997)
Boring as hell
This is a perfect example of what works on paper doesn't necessarily work on screen.
This series is ridiculously boring and the acting, especially Mead as Danny, is just horrendous.
There's no redeeming quality in this movie and the fact that it follows the book more than Q-bricks version does, makes up for non of it.
The Hoarder (2015)
Good idea, not even the worst execution, BUT
What the **** was with that ending??
The protagonist pretty much makes it out alive, she reaches down to grab her little notebook, is grabbed by the wrist by a guy standing on a ladder right at her feet, but yeah might as well cut to black because that's clearly the end of her??
Then a few weeks later her fiancee shows up, simply assuming she has left him because no one has seen her or heard from her in weeks, and deciding right then and there "You know what dude, just sell all the stuff in my storage and give the money.. TO YOUR HAMSTER?!"
WHAT!?
Feardotcom (2002)
It really is thát bad
I read a lot of reviews from people rating this 10/10 and saying this movie is actually better than The Ring, because Feardotcom came first with a somewhat similar idea... Do these people think that's all it takes to make a movie good? Just being the first to come up with an idea?
Doesn't quality of acting, cinematography and editing, a good storyline or decent dialogue count for anything anymore?! Because this movie had absolutely non of that!
I'm not saying The Ring was a masterpiece by any means, but at least it checked some of the boxes. This one did not, not even a bit
I Am Not a Serial Killer (2016)
The Reddest of Herrings
This movie is amazing and severely underrated! Don't read the reviews, don't watch trailers, just let it surprise you.. you won't regret it!
The Invitation (2015)
Good premise, questionable acting
The movie builds and holds tension well, but a lot of the acting was so weird, uncomfortable and over the top it completely pulled me out of it.
3 from Hell (2019)
This movie is just the worst!
They completely butchered a collection of awesome characters and reduced them to absolutely nothing.
And just when you think Sherri Moon Zombie can't possibly do a worse job at acting, there she goes! She's 100% the most appalling actor and most annoying character in this thing. Someone really needs to tell RZ to stop casting his wife in his movies!