Reviews

Seemingly, everyone believed that the Star Wars prequels would be as excellent as the original trilogy. After all, all the signs of greatness were there, and the backstory was made to be so dramatically compelling by Alec Guinness that the story seemed set: the corruption of Anakin to become Darth Vader, who "hunted down and destroyed the Jedi Knights" is an incredible point to work to and from. Even if we look at Lucas' film record, nothing could have anticipated this poorly made film.

The technical aspects were all hit immediately by this film: no criticism here, except for the gleam of CG often becoming tiring to the eyes or simply unnecessary (Revenge of the Sith, the best since Empire Strikes Back, was guilty of this particularly).

I must have been 9 when I saw this, and even then I didn't like it as much as the originals, which I had first watched in their purest form. I refuse to touch the changed originals now, as frankly nothing had to be changed (the original Special Editions were fair enough).

What is most disappointing about this film is the sheer scope for utter improvement. The Battle Droids could have been made ominous, accurate and rather terrifying, making a truly worthy match for the Jedi. The chance for laying in character development in this film was immense, and could have really have been done with being more like Empire Strikes Back than Return of the Jedi. Let's face it, immitating and going further along the line of the worst of the originals was just a bad direction. Further improvement could have been in the acting: I'm not sure if it's bad direction, poor writing or poor acting (or all three), but little Anakin Skywalker is played by a rather tiresome boy, who doesn't capture us with a charisma (which would have been one direction), or even shock us with a sensitive or caring side which could have been a greatly changing arc throughout the prequel as he sped towards the suit.

Changes in the film's structure could have been easily done, too. Jar Jar Binks was rubbish and brought NOTHING to the series, not even laughs or a lovable side character, a la Wicket or Chewie.

Overall, there's something wrong in this episode in the galaxy far far away. The Republic is not shown to be morally bankrupt enough, for me, and the solution in everyone's mind would be "train more Jedi" to fix the Republic. But unfortunately, Lucas spoiled that too. Instead of it being a discipline, a path any could take if they had the spirit he turned it into some kind of advocacy for positive eugenics. Is that the message to send to people? All the stuff with Yoda in Empire was frankly pointless, as if it was an innate ability surely it would be far easier to access. Perhaps Lucas should butcher that too for "continuity" purposes.

My suggestions for this film's structure: should have been half as long, missed out the Tatooine stuff and have Anakin being born somewhere like Coruscant or even Corellia: it would make sense, as surely Vader would have gone to Tatooine on the first suspicion his child had survived. The rest of the film would have been Attack of the Clones' route to the Clone War, cutting out all the unnecessary stuff and putting in masses of good characterisation (written by somebody other than Lucas, who could supply the ideas, and a better writer could have transferred them better to script). The film may have been about 3 hours, but if it was quality like Lord of the Rings (fellowship of the ring is a great example of an awesome start) then no-one would have complained. The next film could have shown the Clone Wars in all its glory (the cartoon series kicked ass) along with characterisation, more stuff with Grievous (who would be COMPLETELY revamped, everything about him was bad) and Dooku, who could have been truly good villains. Meanwhile we would have seen Senator Palpatine's line of manipulation, and had young Han Solo in it perhaps. This would have been a highly political film, giving a new weight to the series, where Lucas could bring in his grand political themes (democracy so easily turning to dictatorship). The next film could have frankly been the same but with better scripting in some places. The utter strength of this structure is that it takes the speed and utter rubbishness of the Vader transformation out, and turns it into the tragic thing the filmmakers meant it to be.

5/10- So imperfect, that it demands such a large makeover.

For me, this episode epitomised what Voyager could have been.

What made DS9, or even TNG in a limited way, intriguing was how what they did was permanent: they weren't warping off at the end of the day, leaving whatever problem behind. Voyager was king of this. Arturis is a tragic character, and there could have been some excellent episodes built off the premise of people trying to exact revenge on Voyager because of their actions, or even helping Voyager. The Hirogen almost did this, but it was only to ask FOR help. Not really the same.

And the initial concept is a very cool idea. The USS Dauntless was a great idea, but I'm glad it was an illusion. It was too quick a solution, but if it was real it could have changed or ended Voyager. Really their journey through the Delta Quadrant wasn't as decisive or as interesting as the producers and writers hoped.

So, fittingly, this episode brings Hope for the series, but also Fear.

Contains MINOR Spoilers, not Plot integral When I sat down to watch this film I had mixed expectations. Many said it was a great film, but others I knew (and frankly respect their film opinion more) said it was mediocre. I fall between these camps, personally. The film is a good romp, but frankly pales in comparison to the lovable first film. Remaining is the Keira "Pout" Knightly as Elizabeth Swan being a wannabe pirate (let's face it, she doesn't do much), Orlando "Only Good at Stunts" Bloom and Johnny "Weird in a Good way" Depp as the principle characters. One gripe I have with this film, and it's a large one, is that it tries too hard. Both in having to reference the first film to satisfy fans, and whenever these appeared I cringed. Physically CRINGED. It's not as if the new characters are particularly well cast or well written. Davy Jones is a particular hate figure for me, as he seems to embody the MUST HAVE CGI culture. To be honest, the character grated, and considering how much screen time he had and how integral he was to the plot, this knocks off a Star on its own. If I'd made the film, I'd simply cast Christopher Lee as Davy Jones and have him more of a daunting villain. Although cool, the crew of the Flying Dutchman border on the insane in terms of design. It wasn't explained in the film how 100 years of service on a ghost ship could change you into a Hammerhead Shark-Human hybrid. The first half of the film is VERY contrived, to be honest. It's far too far fetched for me, and I'm a big fan of complicated plots. The Second half saves this film from oblivion. It seems to become more like the first film, and that's no bad thing. If the film had continued the way it had, I may have turned it off and watched the News. But I stuck with it, and found it a rewarding film. The next film needs to avoid the pitfalls the first half of Dead Man's Chest does, such as over-reliance on references to other films in the franchise, and to avoid a Matrix-style slump into complicatedness and poor philosophy with an absolute reliance of special effects. The action was good, if a bit long-winded in some cases, but the film is a decent watch. Needless plot lines aside, like the whole island sequence with the natives, and Elizabeth on the ship tricking the sailors and the 'Oracle' woman, this film has a pretty weak main plot. The first film was slightly jarring in this respect, and this is shot and edited in such a manner that it takes leaps of the imagination to get you through the film. This is coming from a guy who got Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind when he first saw it, so be prepared for a second watching if you wish to get the plot. Don't let your parents watch it: they'll probably hate it, as this is nowhere near the Errol Flynn style swashbuckling yarn like the first until the second half when it seems to begin running. 6/10