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Terrible movie from beginning to end... oh, wait! I didn't even watch the ending (it was that bad). Even though I fast-forwarded through most of it, I just couldn't force myself to keep watching; it was agonizingly dull. Additionally, I found the sound effects to be quite annoying.
This film needs to go straight into the "purification fire".
If you still can avoid wasting time watching this movie, do yourself a favour and do it!
It's all about a couple of alcoholic rednecks smoking cigarettes in the woods while a supernatural entity observes their moves. The protagonist lives in a small hunting cabin in the middle of nowhere; he is an autist who can't speak and loves to spend time shooting at beer bottles.
The first hour is agonizingly bad. It's an example of slow burn soap opera mumbo jumbo. And then, by the last 15 minutes, this entity called Sator accepts the protagonist (I can't remember his name) as a candidate to be his disciple; and to be a disciple, the candidate needs to offer sacrifices to Sator. So, that redneck goes on a killing spree; and in that process, he burns his brother's beard, I lost my shoe with that scene!
Nevertheless, I do appreciate the dreary and very dark cinematography, which is strikingly beautiful, especially the scenes in the forest. It does resemble the darkness of a temperate forest. So I'll give the movie two stars for that.
In the Earth (2021)
Hipster Satanism on shrooms that falls flat into the earth.
Are you high and mind-numbed? Are you a Satanist hipster? Do you like artsy-fartsy piles of dung? If you answered yes to all the previous questions, this movie is for you! And after watching it, you can brag about it being "deep".
Stroboscopic lights and cheap effects over actual substance; that phrase resumes the movie. There's no substantial plot whatsoever, just fancy flashlights and odd visuals to stimulate your senses if you are high on psychedelics. And what about an actual ending? Nope, of course not! It's an arthouse movie, so let's offer the audience another inane open "ending".
The acting is all wooden, particularly the performance by Joel Fries (Martin). Wtf is wrong with his face? Is he using botox or something like that? Or that wooden face is all-natural?
A few other inconsistencies are:
-Why Alma acts so naïve? Alma already knows that several people have gone missing in the woods under mysterious circumstances, so why she wasn't extra cautious? But what character needs to be extra-cautious and prepared when the writer/director's mind is high in Duduland?
-How about the mycelium of a mycorrhizal fungus with telepathic superpowers?
-When that nut job named Zack was already lying on the floor, why did Alma hesitate to finish him off?
-And don't get me started with Martin. It was like watching a mentally challenged snowflake lost in the woods.
Come True (2020)
Deus ex machina. It was all a dream! A dream that never comes true.
Just what we needed, more postmodernist dud! There are no real consequences; there's no danger, and nothing matters because everything was a dream, or should I say a nightmare? Yup, the whole thing revolves around a comatose patient having nightmares.
A homeless bum with sleep disorders volunteers as a research subject at a Sleep Clinic, and at some point, she falls into a coma. But her libido is still active, so she starts having dreams with a creep that looks like Harry Potter.
At some point during the research, a scientist said: "clean up Dunne's dream sequence to be able to watch it in 4k". Needless to say that I laughed hard with that bs line.
It wasn't until the end of the movie; that we finally get the revelation that for 20 years, she has been in a coma dreaming. Wow, very original!
It had potential, but the execution is an astounding mess. The pacing is especially atrocious.
The Vigil (2019)
It tells the story of a secular Jew trying to find his way outside of his Orthodox Jewish community. He needs money and accepts to work as Shomer for one night. While doing that, a "supernatural" parasite haunts him. However, it's important to note that the parasite could be a projection of his mind, a defence mechanism to cope with a traumatic event.
I found the movie to be quite atmospheric. For moments you are walking through the Borough Park streets of New York, and immediately after that, the isolation, the type of isolation of the big cities! Even when there are millions of people living in the big cities, it's still common to find individuals living a reclusive life, struggling with loneliness and creating significant relationships.
It's plagued with clichés, and the ending is rather weak, but overall, it's not a bad horror movie. It can't hold a candle to The Exorcist and other classics, but it's still watchable, and I enjoyed it.
Rubén Blades where is your dignity as an artist?
I have watched a few of the latest episodes of this series every now and then while I'm doing house chores, since there's no other way I can keep watching this mind-numbing series anymore.
And in that process, I found out that in this episode, Daniel Salazar (one of the few men with cojones of the entire series) now gets treated as a mentally challenged character! It's so bad now that even that treacherous secondary character of backstab Charlize look down her nose at him.
Daniel Salazar merely gets a few seconds of screen time before we get an entire episode of that pc secondary character called Moe Rabinowinstein (I can't even remember her name) searching for her ""brother"". For the past three seasons of the tv series, Moe didn't receive any character development; why anyone would care about her now?
And for those who might not know, Rubén Blades is one of the most prominent salsa musicians still alive. Therefore, his character represents a whole community! I don't know the reason behind why he keeps working in this agonized tv series, except for money. He deserves to get paid exceptionally well for continuing playing the SHELL of the character he used to impersonate during the first three seasons.
Do you like fables?
If I could describe this movie in one word, I would say it is "evocative". It has a few disturbing sequences, but it is not a horror movie! It's more like a PSYCHOLOGICAL drama. It's extremely slow-paced, especially at the beginning, and for the sake of my mental sanity I had to activate the subtitles and 3x, 4x, 6x fast-forward the first 40 minutes. It could have worked better as a short film; almost two hours of runtime for such a story is pretentious and unnecessary.
And while this movie is about a couple with mental problems, some people might like to elaborate mental farts with the characters of Lamb representing this historical event or that sociopolitical crisis, whatever you want! Whatever makes sense to you! I understand why this movie might be appealing for a few people, but I'm not interested in watching this movie ever again! I would rather re-read Animal Farm and other masterpiece fables.
Lamb is not for everyone, and it is not a masterpiece, but it is not a bad start for Valdimar Jóhannsson as a director. I will keep an eye on his future work, just like I keep an eye on A24.
Woke edgelords will find this movie a revelation!
The whole film revolves around a brain-damaged (literally) degenerate woman trying to find paternal love. There's an abundance of gratuitous violence and gore, subtle pro-abortion advertisement, unaffectionate relationships and debauchery to ""empower"" the postmodernist ""free"" women.
You will wake at the end of the film, feeling relaxed, and will have no memory of any plot whatsoever. Every time you try to say "N3tflix Sucks!" You will cluck like a chicken and flap your arms, but have no idea why.
Once again, Hollywood is trying his best to hypnowoke the audience with his agenda, rotting the minds of millions with an inane depiction of mental health professionals and totally distorting the perception of what hypnosis is.
Not to mention this film is a total rip off of False Memory and The Manchurian Candidate! And since this is a 2021 flick, directors and writers are forced to artificially include and portray "diverse couples" and a Black hero/victim fighting a White villain.
What the actual f?
The producers stopped giving the writers the black pill for this episode, or maybe it just turned them into Pale People? Do they need a little bundle of joy or a muffin to make a decent finale? What happened?
For the last six seasons of the series, the producers have been pushing a pc/woke agenda. In this season, they were more focused on making propaganda rather than telling a story; and proof of that is the final episode of the Red Tide story, which is an insult to the audience intelligence. The AHS producers wrapped season 10-A in such a poor way and left lots of unresolved plotlines:
-What was the point of the Red lights?
-What happened to Lark Feldman?
-What about the State Trooper that wasn't buying the City Council's kool-aid?
-Doris Gardner was treated as a pest by her family, and now she is with the Pale People. If the 'untalented addicts' and specifically Doris still have high mental functions (and even if that's not the case), then why Doris didn't rip Ursula's throat right at the cemetery? Weak plot-armor much? After all, Ursula screwed her as a woman, as a wife and as a mother.
-The woke Chemist "is doing something for her community" by giving the black pill to White bad cops, and then they go and munch on innocent White tourists, pc justice was served, wow! So redeeming!
-Belle and Austin agreed to dispatch the Gardners episodes ago; they made that choice by themselves, then why did they ask the Chemist's permission after that? Also, the writers never explained why it took them so much time for the antagonists to act against the Gardners, why Lark wasn't with her buddies on the final scene?
-After taking the black pill and finishing her masterpiece, why Tuberculosis Karen didn't went berserker against Belle? And what happened to her masterpiece?
The Medium (2021)
It had the potential to be awesome...
I appreciate the effort in making horror movies using references to the South Eastern Asian culture (Thailand folklore in this case) and their perspective on demonic possessions.
The movie has obvious influences from REC, The Exorcist and The Blair Witch Project. The ritual of the end was beautiful and creative, but the story is weak. And while it's not a groundbreaking movie, and I don't regret watching it, I also find no reason to watch it again.
The acting performance of Sawanee Utoomma (Nim) was on point, opposite to Narilya Gulmongkolpech's (Mink), which was exaggerated at times.
The Night House (2020)
You were right. There's nothing. Nothing is after you.
It's a good movie to watch once, but not enough for a second watch. The plot is interesting, but the execution isn't thaaat great. Hall's performance as Beth was okay, though.
One thing that stands out (at least for me) was the Caerdroia concept, which is worthy of further research.
The Djinn (2021)
Avoid it at all costs! The movie was filmed in a small apartment, kinda slow-burn (with no delivery) type of film, and it's predictable af.
Devil's Whisper (2019)
Psychological thriller meets supernatural horror
A Mexican-American Roman Catholic family is haunted by an entity that is obsessed with Alejandro Duran (Luca Oriel), who aspires to be a Catholic priest.
The movie is a failed experiment, they tried to mix psychological thriller with demonic possession horror, but the result is unbalanced and bland. The movie isn't that bad, but it isn't rewatchable. There are several plotholes and unexplained aspects.
When the entity was hunting for Alex's friends, why it didn't killed Lia too?
What exactly happened between Alex and his grandfather?
Why Lia (Jasper Polish) appears so suddenly and at any time? It's like she don't have parents to tell her she can't go wherever she wants to go, or that she can't take the family's car at night, etc.
The ending was bad, it was forced and abrupt. It could have work better if they just leaved the end as a metaphorical battle of Alejandro fighting his personal demons. But no, it turned out to be a paranormal entity that was confirmed to be real at the very last minutes of the movie in a very rushed and sloppy format.
PD. Alicia (Alison Fernández) attitude is so charming and contagious.
We All Fall Down (2016)
The Lord of The Flies meets The Road
LTF meets The Road but in a very bad and boring way... The plot is full of loose ends that are never explored or explained, and the characterization is so poor. The dialogues are pathetic, and instead of working and polishing the script, the writers took the cheapest way by giving the audience grunts.
The zombies are a total joke and they only appeared on screen for around 5 min.; I guess they learned that from The Walking Soap-opera, by showing cheap melodramatic scenes and blah, blah, blah dialogues and leave the zombies as ornaments.
How much sepia do u want? Yes!
Lame storyline and bad acting. Without fast forward, I couldn't have watched this garbage. (BTW, the whole idea of "treasure hunters" stealing ancient relics made of gold, just for the sake profiting, disgusts me to the core).
-The beautiful natural Mexican landscapes.
-The presence of Chuck Zito made the film just a LITTLE more bearable.
Don't waste your precious time watching this movie.
-The best character was dog.
-The concept of where they're surviving and how the infected people are evolving and adapting to the environment is interesting, but the whole movie is ruined by all the cringe worthy melodrama.
-The infected are cool; it's obvious that Miguel Ángel Rivas (the director) was inspired by Guillermo del Toro's vampires.
Cons: -The relationships between the characters are so idiotic and cringy that I often rooted for all of the 3 main characters to be gone.
-They are adults yet they behave like hormonal snowflakes.
-The child is veeeeery spoiled.
-They gave the poor dog alcohol to drink and chocolate cookies as food. For those who might not know, you should never give chocolate to dogs!
The Walking Dead: Diverged (2021)
Mundane, empty and pointless.
Episodes 19, 20 and 21 are so empty in content that you will not miss anything if you skip them! These episodes are so pointless that I don't even know what's the plot of TWD.
PRO-TIP: If you still want to watch these filler episodes, but want to save yourself around 44 min. Of nothingness, just watch them at 2x,4x,8x or even at 32x speed! That's life hack right there, lol! You can watch an entire episode of this soap opera in 10 min. And you won't miss anything!
A BLADE WITHOUT ANY EDGE
Most of this episode is filled up as a straight soap opera, you shouldn't expect too much! We have Dwight acting out of character by giving up not only to Virginias' group but also his wedding rings too, wtf was that? Dwight isn't just a random survivor; he survived the horrors of a tyrant! He literally lost almost everything because of joining Negans' group and he knows more than anyone what a life under tyranny is. Dwight should have known better and have deeper insightful thoughts about this situation.
Morgy also knows how that works, because he fought the Saviors! But instead of preventing this situation from happening, he gave a green light to surrender, because in the very first place they didn't have the coj*nes to deal with the zombies from the theme park and instead of making that place livable again, they had to call Virginia for help, pathetic! Furthermore, for some reason, all the Morganites dealt with the situation with a season one amateur mentality, they didn't even remember the several options that there are available for dealing with a horde of trapped zombies (zombies that can't even run btw).
The Cult Morganites gave excuses after excuses before surrendering. First, it was because there were around 250 zombies trapped inside the theme park, but... (OH, SURPRISE!) after a little while, they cleared the theme park! (I guess writers are so focused on writing a soap opera that they forgot that their characters are in the middle of a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, DUUUH!)
What's next? They needed water? Well, there were AT LEAST TWO river streams (one of them with ABUNDANT water) nearby of them and let's not forget they never showed us how they were able to recover Toms' recordings from the river they passed in order to get to Humbugs Gulch. They needed food? Its laughable how is it possible that at this point in time in the Z. A., a group of forty people still doesn't know the means to get their own food in a sustainable way, without depending on canned food or someone else to provide for them.
They gave all those excuses before giving up to Virginia! It looks like they actually WANTED to be under Virginias thumb to provide for them.
And what happened to Strands' negotiation skills? What happened to that character that once was a negotiator? He didn't even try to negotiate; he was the first one to give up. What about Daniel? Well, he is another neutered character... he didn't propose anything productive for this situation; the only way in which he's useful now is for singing Kumbaya along with backstab Charly.
Suddenly, there's a group of horses appearing out of nowhere with their saddles and stuff still hatched on them!!! Giving the Morganites hope. However, finding horses is one thing, but knowing how to properly ride a horse is another totally different thing... But I guess that's a piece of cake for them, since they can fly planes and beer-bottle-shaped hot-air balloons from the get-go, they even fixed a plane without any aerospace engineering background, all they needed was to read The Little Prince, ROFLMAO!
The showrunners and writers of this show are delusional, there's even a freaking wedding out of nowhere, because why not, right!?! Hahaha! Oh, and btw, of course Alicia is painting stuff and Althea is documenting everything she can!
CONCLUSION: I'm not going to spoil a certain scene in which a pistol is involved, but all in all, I think that's a perfect metaphor for the last two seasons in general; blades without any edge, pistols that shots confetti and zombies that are ornamental. Overall, season five was pointless and redundant, saturated with asinine conversations and empty speeches, with situations that were not only predictable and boring but idiotic as well, characters acting out of character, zombies that are just like flowers, ridiculously absurd antagonists, etc. A rotten season to the core! The last acceptable season was the third one.
Fear the Walking Dead: Channel 5 (2019)
Fellow Morganians, GO HARDCORE OR GO HOME!!!
The prophet Morgan and his cult of Morganites finally face reality, and what reality is that? YOU CAN'T GIVE WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE! For a long period of time they gave, lost and consumed more resources and supplies than what they needed to produce/collect in order to keep "helping anybody and everybody".
It's laughable that adults didn't realize that in time and now they can't even help themselves ROFLMAO!! Also, now they're so incompetent that a group of +/- forty people can't even dispatch a horde of zombies trapped inside of a relatively strong fenced theme park; they didn't even try to lure them away with sounds or by using the zombie guts camouflage trick, etc. It's crystal clear that the Cult of Morganity develops mush brain. And it's even more laughable how quickly Tom went on full hardcore Morgard mode hahaha! Remember, NEVER GO FULL MORGARD!!!
CONCLUSION: Season 5 is so ridiculously idiotic (even more than the 4th!!) that zombies and antagonists are no longer a real danger, instead, this is all about speeches, painting trees, interviews, characters out of character, who takes the best selfie on bridges, and competing on which CULT is the best CULT (Morganians vs Jessienites-fake a** accent-#WhereIsWoody?) by proving who makes the best propaganda.
Morganity by the holy Lord Morgan
Fellow Morganian brothers and sisters, as you may know, the Lord Morgan (he must be gone asap) and his apostles just want to 'help everybody and anybody', even those who don't want their help. God (writers) have to do something about him, because even his fellow Morganian sister Al is getting tired of him.
*Sighs*... Don't expect too much of this episode, it's just another cringy and annoying episode about Morgan and his Morganite mini-mes doing the most absurd things possible, I'll mention just a few: Grown ass seasoned fighters not able to kill walkers, and phrases like "Spaghetti ain't simple, and it's usually messy one way or another", what's that garbage!? Haha! 1)That would be true if you were blindfolded and your arms chopped off, 2) Spaghetti is actually quite simple to make. And if you were missing those boring and mundane conversations between Morgan and his radioactive crush Grace from ep. 10 at the mall, well... in this new episode you can rejoice again with more of those mind-numbing conversations!
Also, writers of this show have completely annihilated Daniel as a character; now, he's just another flat and dull echo of the savior and Lord Morgan, just like all the other old characters (Alicia, Luciana, etc.) from the early seasons of FTWD and even Dwight (TWD) doesn't escape Morgan's gospel. WHAT A WASTE OF SUCH GOOD ACTORS!!!!!!! Season 3 was the last season that was worth watching, season 4 and 5 are pure hogwash.
Mayans M.C.: Xbalanque (2019)
A+ Underrated series!
This was one of the best new series of 2018, I'm sad that this second season will only have 8 episodes. I hope this season compensates the lack of quantity FOR QUALITY! So far this first episode was great, I'm looking forward for what's next!
Plus, this second season of Mayans is giving me nostalgia, since it was ten years ago that I was watching the second season of SoA. I can't believe how fast time goes by... ten years ago, folks... ten years!!!
Light, soft & mediocre.
The books are quite enjoyable, but this film has diluted what makes the books what they're. Consider this movie a light, soft and diluted grapefruit juice for kids, this could be starter movie for infants that like horror movies, but even if that's the case there are better movies for them to start with.
If you just like horror movies, you will not miss anything if you just skip this one. The story arc is weak and fulfilled with the same old clichés that the industry regurgitates over and over, the characters are laughable, hell... the movie doesn't even focus on the SCARY STORIES but it's more about the kid's drama. SAVE YOUR TIME, SAVE YOUR MONEY!
Black Summer: Summer School (2019)
Such a waste...
The first episode was great and realistic. Yes! Minor flaws here and there, but nonetheless a great episode. The second episode had mistakes that I wouldn't mind to pass in order to keep watching this series. But after this episode there is simply an unacceptable flow cr*p, with episodes full of very st*pid decisions and illogical scenarios that just ruins the entire season. Be warned!
Running in circles...
I'm not exaggerating when I say that this episode was tremendously boring that I LITERALLY fell asleep. Why? It's another episode where essentially nothing happens, just the same lousy dialogue and the same corny phrases they repeat over and over; lazy writing also manifest in the form of redundancy in phrases like: "people are people", "no one's gone until they're gone" and "if you're reading this it means you're still here"... well, no sh* t! "Redundancy is redundancy", "no one is redundant until they're redundant" "if you're watching this show it means you're still here watching this show". The last five episodes of this season are so hard to watch.
And remember, folks, if you're reading this message it means you're still here reading messages and you're not gone until you're gone, mmkay?