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10-excellent flick or game, very little to nothing I find wrong with it.
9 -really good flick or game that is almost excellent but may have one or two flaws
8 -good like 9 however the flaws stand out more or it did not generate the excitement I was looking for
7 -pretty good for the most part the movie or game was enjoyable, but along with flaws it may lack plot development or something to that effect
6 -okay chances are it has a boring stretch or something that knocks the film down a peg or two, I might recommend this movie or game, but will say beware
5 -a neither good nor bad flick. Just enough good to keep it from being a bit unwatchable and just enough bad to make it something I probably would not want to see again unless it was a horror movie
4 -for the most part a movie I don't care for, but contains some good scenes or something to that effect, also a rather good score for me to give to a bad horror movie that kept me entertained because it was so bad
3 -usually when they start ranking here or lower they become boring or really low budget or unplayable if a game. it only gets a 3 because it might contain a shining diamond in the rough such as maybe a good performance
2 -usually the only thing making this type of movie from being a one is a good death or perhaps a good nude scene
1 -bad and boring and something I will not watch again unless it is to make fun of it
Beware the beast whose mouth does not move!
I was not expecting much when I watched this film via Amazon Prime and it managed to still be worse than my expectations. Perhaps I thought it would be better due to Rick Baker being part of the team behind this and I know it knows how to do great make up and such, but this one featured a monster that could not open or close its mouth, blink and it only minimally moved its eyes. There are a couple of good kills where I believe Baker had to have a hand in, but otherwise this film is a bit slow. I mean, I watched Slugs the other night and the slugs were faster killers than Octaman!
The story has scientist testing water in a Latin American country and they discover a small octopus with strange eyes and rubber texture. Okay, they didn't mention its rubbery look, I did, as it looks like a toy I once had as a young child. Well they get some guy to back their expedition and they travel on a magical RV where if you look out the window you can see Africa! Seriously, at one point the woman looks out the window and sees a Cheetah. Well, when they arrive they find the person they left behind dead and they begin to search for the large creature and one of them keeps getting hit in the face by it, they capture it and manage to lose it within seconds and they get trapped in a cave that seemed like its only purpose in the movie was to pad out the film!
So we have bad looking monster, a very unlikable cast and very little in the way of gore and no nudity. Sure this film is nice to make fun of, but as they are in that cave you want to yell at the television for that one guy just to call to the others to come on instead of crawling back through the cave to get them. So if I am rooting for someone in this flick it is the monster who keeps blowing its opportunities to kill everyone cause he wants the woman...I don't know why as he has no genitals to speak of.
So, if you want to watch this, be prepared to make a joke or two. I am surprised it was never featured on MST3K back in the day. The monster looks like he was built to battle Godzilla, but Godzilla said he would not work with such a trashy looking opponent so it got regulated to one of those Ultraman ripoff shows instead. Even the creatures in Green Slime looked a hundred times better, as you can literally see the boots on the tentacles it is walking on!
Slugs, muerte viscosa (1988)
Why did no one use salt?
This movie was apparently based on a book and within the book there was never any mention of radioactivity; however, a film with mutant anything back in the day was usually caused by radiation. Yes, the movie is about mutant killer slugs and while people may complain that slugs are slow, they should remember that these slugs are super powered so they are twice as fast! Though, that would probably mean that you should still get away from them easily enough by walking briskly away from them. Still, the film was pretty good, especially where the effects were concerned as there was one death in a restaurant that had me cringe!
The story starts out with a young couple fishing and the boy gets pulled into the water and blood rises to the top...well, forget that scene because that scene is never mentioned within the remainder of the film. I am sure it was a tease as to what was to come, but seriously, the couple are never mentioned among the missing. After a credit sequence where the slugs slide over the screen like in a James Bond opening, a man is attacked and the town's health inspector must serve as the hero as the sheriff in this town is just like the mayor! People are being eaten and the scientist of the movie is a science teacher at a high school and there is a Halloween party at the end and one has to wonder why even mention Halloween if you were not going to have anyone going trick or treating or anything...
The movie has some great gore, as I said before. The dialog is silly at time and so is how some of the people die. Seriously, why did that guy have so much trouble getting a glove off!?! Then there is a death that irritated me as a guy is trying to get fresh with a girl and she rejects him and as she is walking through the woods another dude in a mask attempts to rape her, then she falls into the sewer and she is killed. Meanwhile, the would be rapist still lives. What the heck, movie!?!
So you get your good gore scenes as when there are deaths they are generally very bloody the worst being the aforementioned restaurant scene. When there is dialog it is silly and for the love of everything that is holy, why did no one try salt? I mean at the end of this one they use this stuff that nearly blows up everything in town and may have quite possibly killed more people than the slugs, but no one tries salt? Perhaps in the novel there is an explanation of why it was not used, but here the wife asks the hero why not try salt, he kind of agrees with her, but nothing comes of it...
Kingdom Hearts II (2005)
This journey into the Disney world just does not feel as fun as the first
I see I am in the minority with this opinion on IMDB seeing as how the score for it is over nine; however, I just felt this sequel to the popular Kingdom Hearts falls short of that game by a lot. I literally started playing it when it first came out and lost interest in it and never completed it until 15 years later on the PS4. I am not saying it is bad, it is a pretty good game and the combat is fun, the story is the problem as it is a convoluted mess and it also seems less ambitious in scope than the first game. I realize this originally came out on the PS2, but that being said, so did Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas so you cannot tell me some of the worlds in this game could not have been larger and more detailed.
The story follows Chain of Memories, which is one of the reasons I started off on the wrong foot playing this one. If you do not play that game, you are going to have no idea what is going on with this one at the start. You play as Roxas, a mysterious boy who seems to have ties with Sora. Soon Sora, Donald and Goofy are awake and once again must go to other Kingdoms in the hopes of finding Riku and King Mickey. They will have to deal with Maleficent who returns as well as the strange new creatures known as Nobodies and Organization XIII whose plans are vague at best.
The game play is the same as before as we have action combat. Sora has new abilities and a crappy new ability to craft stuff that is a pain. They take away finding dalmatians and the trinity stuff and replace them with pieces of slider puzzles which I did not collect all of any of them! They also took a lot of the fun from the first game and replaced it with tedium! Out are Alice's world, the whale, Peter Pan's world and Tarzan and in are Tron world, Pirates of the Caribbean, Beauty and the Beast and Lion King. I would say the two games are roughly the same size, but I feel the first game was bigger as the last world before fighting the final boss in it was much larger than the one here.
So, the game had its moments and it is fun at first going to new worlds and revisiting old ones, but it never comes close to being as fun as the first game. It is better than Chain of Memories, but that is not saying much quite frankly. I also feel they did not incorporate Disney well enough into the story as the first game as they seem almost an after thought here and at the end Donald, Goofy and Mickey are all left out of the final fight. I am hoping the third is more enjoyable and brings back some of the charm of the first game as this one is just so all over the place story wise as it never even shows us what happens to Maleficent and Pete after they prepare to battle an army of Heartless....
Krampus Unleashed (2016)
Wish the whole Krampus thing would go away.
The first time I heard about Krampus was a special episode of the Venture Brothers and then he found his way on American Dad. Now everyone acts like this is a mainstream thing, when it is just something to tell naughty children in Germany or some country. It was not a worldwide thing and that it has gotten so big is just stupid, it doesn't even look scary. Honestly, the country where naughty children are eaten by a large cat is more terrifying than the whole Krampus story. This one, does not really do the whole Krampus punishing naughty children. It is more Krampus as a wild out of control killing machine, so while it was bad, it was fun to watch as I got to make fun of it with my wife.
The story has some guys digging up treasure on a very unspecific date in time. They find a rock buried in a chest and it unleashes Krampus upon them! Years later a family is making their way to a Christmas family gathering. The daughter has a rather nice family and the brother has a rather obnoxious family, but forget that, the dynamics of the two families is kind of wasted once Krampus comes out as he kills everyone! Good, bad and grandma! They try to escape this being that walks around eating people, ripping heads off and bonking two rednecks to death...good thing too, as they were annoying. Wish they killed Troy a lot sooner.
The kills are pretty funny, the cast horrible and all you are waiting for is the super obnoxious Troy to get his throughout the film! Too bad it is at the end in a scene that makes absolutely no sense as the camera angles suck and what Troy is looking at is dreadfully unclear.
So, this movie is rather bad and another film trying to bring Krampus alive. This one just had the basic look down, which is that of some strange goat monster. This one looked like a goat monster wearing a bath rug from the 70's. The characters have lots of pointless exchanges as they have to pad this film out, as that scene where the two redneck guys talking about killing bigfoot just kept going and going! It is a fun movie to make fun of, but not a good horror film in any other way except a few good kills.
L'isola degli uomini pesce (1979)
Starts out in very brutal fashion, then becomes kind of mundane...
Watched this film as a kid and remember that I was disappointed by it being about fish people rather than Men Turned Inside Out! Then watched it again recently with my wife and was completely baffled by how awesome the opening was as people are killed in brutal fashion as heads are ripped off, there is a corpse that opens its eyes and all sorts of nasty stuff is happening. Apparently, this is added to the film for the American cut, which makes sense as the fish men the rest of the film are way less brutal in their attacks as that opening sequence. After this newly added section, the rest of the movie is a bit dull in places, though it has a pretty good ending.
The story has a group landing on an island and promptly getting killed, but never mind them as they are not important. The boat full of prisoners, on the other hand that wrecks upon the island is as the prisoners and the doctor upon the boat that sunk (they were on a lifeboat) soon start searching the island and have the worst luck ever as they encounter poisonous water, spear traps and strange monsters! Soon, the doctor and two others find a strange house and this is where the film slows down immensely as the doctor has many conversations with his host as something strange is going down!
Honestly, what is apparently, the part of the film Corman did was way better than the Italian film, though I did like when the prisoners first arrived at the island and the ending. Just so many boring moments in-between that. Barbara Bach just does not look as good as she did in The Spy Who Loved Me or that Caveman movie, but she is still attractive. I was hoping she would show more skin, but no such luck.
I find it a bit funny that it is usually the Italians that make films that are gorier and such, but here we are the ones who added the gore and horror. I was wondering why the film seemed almost pure horror and then switched to more of an action film that just happened to have monsters. It was not all bad, but I would prefer the tone that was set up by the beginning Corman did.
Big Hero 6 (2014)
A very good movie from Disney.
I enjoyed this Disney film as it is a movie about a group of smart kids trying to take on a villain. However, I enjoyed the movie more when it was the kid Hiro and the inflatable robot Baymax interacting as the film was more humorous during these stages. It kind of turns into more of an action film when Hiro becomes dead set on finding out and stopping the person who stole his inventions. Still, it was good in this phase, but watching Baymax cross a room and getting around stuff was super funny.
The story has a young boy who has already graduated high school and instead of taking the next step to college, he instead uses a robot to win money bot fighting. His older brother tries to get him on the right path by introducing his brother to his friends from school and his invention Baymax. This does the trick and so Hiro invents something called microbots that the head of the brother's school likes enough to enlist Hiro into the school. Unfortunately, there is an explosion and Hiro's brother dies; however, the strange discovery of a warehouse mass producing Hiro's microbots sends Hiro on a quest for revenge! He soon enlists his brother's friends help as he designs suits that use the super brainy teens specialties as powers.
The film has a lot of memorable moments as it is fun watching Baymax first appearances. I also liked it when Hiro was designing the other's suits. After that, it becomes more of an action film as they try and find out the identity of the villain and stop him when they learn of his insane plan. I liked the characters, Baymax being my favorite, love it when his battery is going low and he is petting the cat going, "Hairy baby."
So, this one was a really good film from Disney. It came after Frozen and a lot of people seem to get angry that this one did not catch on fire the way Frozen did; however, Frozen did have songs that were really catchy so that is probably what gave it an edge. Seriously, I think both films were made by the same person anyways so I am sure he doesn't care that this one did not do what Frozen did as it still performed very well at the box office. Still do not understand why a film with no sets and no actors can cost over 150 million though...
Return to Oz (1985)
Wow, that was a lot more enjoyable to watch as an adult.
I first saw this film back when I was a kid and I was not all that wild about it. I guess my mind could not grasp the idea of an Oz movie that was faithful to the book and was confusing because it did not seem like it was part of the original film's world. Now that I am an adult, I really dig this one more than the original 1939 film as it is darker to the point of being almost a horror/fantasy film and there are not a bunch of chirpy songs coming from nowhere. Honestly, the original was essentially a Broadway stage play that was filmed. This one, however, was more like the Oz portrayed in the books.
The story has poor Dorthy suffering from sleepless nights due to her adventures in Oz. Her aunt's solution? Why, take her to a doctor that using electroshock therapy of course! Well, Dorthy ends up in a creepy asylum and is about to be zapped when the power goes off, another girl frees Dorthy and both she and the other girl end up falling into a river just outside the asylum during a very violent storm. The other girl seemingly drowns as the river somehow transports Dorthy back to Oz; however, it is now run down and full of strange beings known as Wheelers who promptly give chase. Dorthy manages to find her way into a room and enlists the aid of Tic-toc, a wind up soldier. She will also find help from Jack Pumpkinhead and meet her old friend Scarecrow too. However, a strange demented Princess named Mombi and the Nome King will do everything in their power to stop Dorthy from returning Oz to its former glory!
Watching this film, one gets more of a sense of what Oz is all about, it is a mirror world where there are people from our world living within it. I get the feeling Stephen King and Peter Straub used the Oz series as inspiration for their collaboration, The Talisman as it too features a parallel world. While I found this one good as an adult I also found at times the outside world of Oz too mundane, though the interiors do look fantastical. It is a shame this bombed at the box office, because this Oz is so much more delightful and frightful than the 1939 version.
So, in the eyes of an adult, this movie actually improved for me. Usually, you watch stuff as a kid and later as an adult and like the film less, but not here. It is a strange world that is put together by Disney, who were going through bit of a dark phase during this time. They were also going through a rather rough time as there just were not too many hits during this era in their history. Not that the films were not good, just not what people expected from a Disney film at the time. This one is one such case, really good, but people expected lighter fare and something more in the line with the 1939 film.
Frozen II (2019)
Nice to see a Disney film that isn't a remake.
My wife has gotten me to take her to see Aladdin, The Lion King and she made me watch Beauty and the Beast. Suffice to say, it was refreshing to see a film with a bit of a different palate as I was not crazy about either Beauty and the Beast or The Lion King. Aladdin was okay though; however, seeing something new was like amazing! Sure, it does not feature a villain like we are used to seeing in films such as these and at times it seemed to get a bit outlandish, as if it were a parody...then again, I kind of liked that aspect of it.
The plot has Elsa in charge of the kingdom, Kristoff wishes to propose to Anna and Olaf is enjoying the last bit of summer. Unfortunately, Elsa is troubled by a song she hears from far away as it calls to her. She tries to fight it, but she calls back and this seems to set the four elements upon the kingdom in the form of earth, wind, water and fire. She, Anna, Kristoff and Olaf set out to search for a mysterious forest which may hold the key to saving the kingdom and bring them face to face with the past.
I enjoyed the movie a good deal, especially since I never really saw the first film. I have seen bits and pieces and was able to piece most of the story together, but I was a bit surprised to learn that Kirstoff was talking for his reindeer. I found Olaf rather funny as I found it humorous when he started calling out for Samantha. The visuals were very nice too and I have to say I did enjoy the 80's homage song.
So, while nothing that is going to make my top ten list of all time, I found this movie very enjoyable. Much better than The Lion King remake. I still do not see how that one did so well when all it was, was a carbon copy of the original with animals with no facial expressions and no Jeremy Irons! The songs in this one are okay, my favorite being Kristoff's and then the one Elsa sings as she calls to the voice. It moved by nice and quickly too, very well paced. So all in all a nice trip to the movies with my wife.
Escape to Witch Mountain (1975)
Watching this thing as an adult there are so many flaws...
When I say there are so many flaws, I am not alluding to the special effects within the film. They did rather well for the time this film came out. No, my statement is regarding things that occur within the story as there are just some things that make one scratch their head. That does not include the strange obsession with dogs this film has that makes it out like dogs are going to play a huge part in the film as they are within the opening credits and the two kids keep talking about them and then they are not really all that important to the story at all.
The story has two orphan kids who do not know who their real parents are being brought to a orphanage because their foster mother and father died. The girl is prone to flashbacks, so much so, that you will get sick of seeing them. Both share strange psychic abilities and telekinetic abilities. They soon are taken to a mansion where a businessman wishes to exploit their powers and in return he will give them everything they want. Strangely they don't want to and so they must try to get to Witch Mountain!
So many things make one go, "Huh?" as an adult that we would have just ignored as a child. Why does none of their real relatives track them down? They should easily be able to find the kids as their powers are greater. What are the odds of the kids helping the one man who works for a person who is wanting to enlist people with psychic powers? Why bother chasing the kids in the first place, as they do not want to help and as their powers grow they will only become more uncontrollable and you have the end of Firestarter!
So the film has its moments, but the plot is all out of whack, too much for me as an adult to ignore. The film has Eddie Albert who looks like he is 80 in this film, but would go on to live well into the 2000's and it also has Donald Pleasance who turned up in quite a few movies back in the day. There are some humorous moments and one creepy one as the boy makes puppets come to life...
Was pretty good, but thought it needed more humor...
This Disney movie interested me when I first saw the previews way back when, but never got around to seeing it. Then I got my wife Disney+ as a Christmas gift and saw that it was on their streaming service so we gave it a watch. It was cute and mildly amusing; however, I found that it could have been a bit more funny as the crime began to overshadow the humor a bit in this one. What I mean is, figuring out what was causing the animals to go mad was the more interesting portion of the film rather than the fact we have a bunny cop and wise cracking fox trying to figure it out.
The story has a bunny whose dream it is, to be a cop in Zootopia. She ends up becoming the first bunny police officer and she is basically given the job of meter maid, much to the delight of her parents who are scared to death for their little girl. She soon though gets wrapped up in a case involving a missing otter and must enlist the help of a con artist fox to find out where the missing otter is.
The movie is more funny during the first part than the last third. The voice acting is good as was the animation. The areas of Zootopia really popped as you had snowy zones and a rain forest. The best part of the film, though, to me was the sloth run DMV which so accurately depicts how it is inside the real department of motor vehicles! I also like the mob boss who was really into icing people!
So, in the end, this Disney film was pretty good. It is nice to have a Disney animation that does not have songs and such within like the police chief alluded to. The film seems to have been a very huge success so I am sure the inevitable sequel will be coming, but unlike some films, this one warrants one as you can have many misadventures for two officers on the job!
The Strangeness (1985)
Should have been called, "The Slowness" instead.
I saw this movie on Amazon and at one point considered buying the DVD. Then I saw it on Amazon Prime and was able to watch it free and I am so glad that I did not buy this one. I like horror movies set in caves, but this one was just so slow, even more slow than that Alien II: Alien on Earth film from Italy that takes its time to get the action going. It was 45 minutes before the first kill and reveal of the monster and the film was not lacking for people to kill. Should have been spread out way better.
The story has a cave where some miners are hired to investigate whether the mine is worth reopening or not. Apparently, there were attempts to reopen it before and strange stories about the first mining team that attempted to go for the gold. Well, the group finds out that there is something lurking within the caves as it begins to pick them off, one by one. as the miners feel the need to argue or interview the others for a book.
Had promise, but fails to deliver for the most part as I am betting the extremely small budget is the main reason why. The monster looks okay; however, it is stop motion so there is always a disconnect in the way it looks that makes it clear it is not really there. They did an okay job with the cave too, as they are not in a cave for a lot of it, but rather the director's grandparents' garage, so while it does not look like a cave on close inspection, you can kind of just roll with it. The main problem though are the characters that spend more time talking about books, telling awful jokes and arguing than being terrified of the monster.
So, in the end, very glad I did not buy this film. I have watched numerous cave horror films over the years and this one does rank near the bottom. The Boogens is a lot better monster in the cave movie made around the same time as this one and it isn't all that great. I also think if your going to title your movie The Strangeness, you need more going on than just one monster. That title makes me think that there is going to be strange happenings like corridors suddenly disappearing and pitfalls opening underfoot, rather than just a stop motion vagina monster (yes, its mouth looks exactly like a vagina).
Time Trap (2017)
I was underwhelmed by this trap
Saw this film on Netflix, not sure if it was one of their movies or not. If so, it falls into the category of disappointing Netflix films that I have watched that had a good premise, but just felt flat to me. From the score here, I am in the minority; however, if I don't like something, I don't like it. This one was not the worst movie ever to me by any means, I just feel it was too uneven and did not seem to know what kind of movie it wanted to be. Throw in a cast of idiots whose motivations and actions are totally stupid and you have your movie.
The story has an archaeologist wanting to explore some caves that his parents apparently went into and never came back. He goes missing, and two of his students or something just have to track him down and they bring three other kids with them, because if I am going to track someone down who I am not related to I want to endanger as many lives as I possibly can. Well, they enter these caves and time is going super slow within, meaning outside time is speeding by and it takes forever for the motley crew of wannabe adventurers to grasp the situation even when confronted with video evidence.
The film just does not work as at times it almost has a horror vibe going for it with the death of the annoying Furby who everyone is so sad for even though two of the characters just met him before the trip. Why they take this kid is beyond me, once again, why are they endangering lives when it is obvious the archeologist had to have gotten into some type of trouble. We get killer cavemen, vague spacemen and an eye rolling happy ending to finish off a film that should have done things a bit more differently as the main characters stare up at the one outlet of the cave for way too long.
So a film that has too many flaws for me to rate it any better than four. I liked aspects of it as it was kind of creepy at the beginning when the professor saw the perfectly still man within the caves. This is undermined by too many stupid decisions though as the dude with the teens is an idiot, putting everyone at risk for his teacher? Hell no, I would not go out of my way to rescue any of my teachers, much less involving people who have nothing to do with class!
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002)
Before the Meg there was the Megalodon!
I caught this film on some cable channel one night and caught the tail end where the shark is killing the guests on a yacht and it looked bad and cheesy. Watched the full movie once I found out what it was and it was still bad and cheesy; however, after the plethora of shark movies to enter the fray since this one's emergence back in 2002, it is actually a lot better than them by comparison. Sure there is way too much stock footage shark and not enough plastic shark for the closeups and such, but compare that to those CGI abominations on SyFy and this one stands a bit taller! Still not all that great though, but entertaining.
The story has someone being offed while trying to do some repairs, six months later a man finds a tooth and this brings in a some gal from a museum as it piques her interest, she has no ass to speak of, but her male colleagues like to video it when they are out on the water. A shark begins terrorizing, a guy tries to stop it while evil business men do things that put everyone in danger! Plus, the shark we see at first is just a baby so it kind of does a Jaws 3 thing here.
The effects are pretty bad, but there is a bit of gore and some nudity to spice things up which is another thing that gives it an edge over the movies seen on SyFy. The shark is mainly just stock footage and maybe a replica shark? Cannot tell for sure, but I do know they at least built a fin for the film! The actor in this is horrible and the actress as I said, has no ass. I cannot believe she was a model.
So, not a great movie by any means, but still more entertaining than a lot of other shark films I have seen over the years. I find it baffling that there are so few good shark movies, like how can you not make a film about a shark horrific and terrifying without all the bad effects, lack of gore and other things. Jaws can never be recreated, but they can try to give us something different. I mean, do we need to have an evil mayor type in every shark movie ever made?
Hocus Pocus (1993)
I fail to see why it has become so popular.
My wife made me watch this film, never really had a desire to do so, but I figured it wouldn't hurt. I know that for some reason, it is more popular now than it ever was in the 90's so I thought it may be good. It was not bad, but I just do not get the strange love interest people have with this thing. A few funny moments here and there; however, I just felt aside from the three witches, the rest of the cast was just not very good. Unfortunately, the focus of this thing is a kid who wishes to woo this girl that he pretty much met the same day. There was another problem in the story telling, the witches were the most charismatic thing on screen, but they made them child killers, which I felt was a bit too dark for a kid's flick and made you have to root against them.
The story starts out in Salem in the past. Three witches lure a child to their home where her brother comes to rescue her, but is too late. He is turned into a cat right before several townsfolk come to the place and for reasons unknown, Bette Midler's witch can shoot magic that can do some damage, she uses it sparingly and the three get caught and hung. So, years later a virgin boy from California has to move to Salem where these two jerks steal his shoes, but they do not get theirs in satisfying enough fashion. Seriously, they torment a poor boy by turning him into a cat for daring to rescue his sister, but these two idiots they just lock up in cages? So the sister's get revived and must suck the souls of children so that they do not turn to dust forever.
I would have rather the film focused on the three witches in modern times trying to figure things out as the scenes with stuff like that were the best. They made the witches too evil, the whole children killing thing too much, I would have rather seen them as more hapless than horrible especially since they showed instances of being very friendly and pleasant to some of the townsfolk.
So, it was okay, however, I still don't understand why it has become this massively popular film. Perhaps, there are not enough family oriented Halloween movies as there are plenty of short specials, but not as many comedy Halloween films. Still, at times, the humor in this one is a bit risque and I wonder what the heck they were thinking. The last thing I would want to take a younger child to, is a film where the one guy is wanting to get into a girl's pants and his little sister does some rather creepy things. If they had focused more on the witches and made them a bit less evil, I could see this one being a bit better than what it is.
The School (2018)
I don't see myself entering the halls of this school again
This is a film where a good deal of what is going on is not revealed to you and I, the viewers. We are plunged head first into the school of the title as a woman emerges from a bathtub in the middle of a room where she is immediately confronted by a creepy, albeit, helpful kid. Soon she must evade some strange kid and then she is hit in the head and captured and then imprisoned. All this happens within the first ten or so minutes. Too bad, it then goes the predictable route of flashing back and getting explained what is sort of going on, but never in a satisfying manner. The movie ends up being more warped Peter Pan than strange evil school.
The story, as I said previously, a woman emerges from a tub. As she wanders this world and is trapped within the school she remembers that her son is in a coma, that she is a doctor and that she feels that her son is within this school which is run by some sort of evil Peter Pan type dude, who keeps the children within in line with a strict set of rules. The woman escapes and proceeds to run around with no real goal in mind in the hopes she finds her son confronting pretty much the same stuff again and again.
The acting is not bad, the effects and setting are nice; however, the story needs work as I would have rather done with something a bit darker. The whole evil person in charge was a bit underwhelming and they just needed more creepy creatures loose within the school. I was not expecting a combination of Peter Pan and Lord of the Flies with a touch of the Japanese film Recycle, but that is exactly what we get here and it underwhelms immensely.
Into the Dark: Uncanny Annie (2019)
Annie just was not terrifying enough
My wife picked out this movie and we watched it and I thought it had some moments, was not boring; however, it suffered from one too many flaws to be considered good. Apparently, it is part of a series called, Tales From the Dark, but I would still consider it a movie considering its run time of an hour and twenty minutes. This film reminded me of another board game horror film called, "Beyond the Gates" and both are pretty much a horror version of Jumanji. This one had some good moments, but I feel it needed some repairs and polish.
The story has a group of friends spending Halloween together, which happens to coincide with the anniversary of a friend's death. I thought that their friend was the guy in the precredit sequence who looked like Shaggy from Scooby Doo, but no, it was a different guy. Well, one of the dudes has a girlfriend and she invites two friends over and together they all have on the worst and laziest Halloween costumes ever as we have dude in Santa shirt and hat, guy in fabulous robe, man in a shirt that may be knightish, cheerleader who has been beaten up, sad prom queen and goth girl with vampire teeth. Well, they decide to play a game and the girl just happens to bring a game called, "Uncanny Annie" from the basement and this is the title of the film, so this is the game they are going to play. Unfortunately, this is an evil game and they must overcome the vague rules to win the game or Annie kills you!
The main problem with the film is that the evil character of Annie is not all that scary looking and borderline cute! This, of course, undercuts the terror as the first scene was almost something out of a comedy. Then the characters are so annoying in that even with being hit square in the face that what is happening is real, they keep denying it and further dwindling their chances of survival. Then at times it seems they do something right and fail and do some wrong and pass.
So, it had some potential, but just needs a few tweaks here and there. "Beyond the Gates" needing tweaking too as it just did not have enough going on. This one did feature more, but once Annie appears, it loses a lot of tension and atmosphere. In the end, I am sure if the characters had to do it all over again, they would have instead chosen to play Risk; okay, maybe not, if they had tried that one they would have been stuck in limbo forever!
Should have been titled Lake instead!
I remember watching this as a kid and it was bad, but saw it again recently and it was worse! It is a film featuring a monster within a lake that is barely seen, lots of talking within labs and a really old cast of unattractive leads that we have to watch two of them make out for what seems like more time than the creature is present on screen! Not a good film in the least, but it is entertaining in its presentation and I am surprised this one never got riffed on MST3K cause it features film whose length fits their time frame, was rated PG so not a lot of worry about cutting stuff out and it is a very bad movie!
The story has a guy dynamite fishing, who accidentally releases a strange creature in a lake. The movie is called bog, but a bog is generally like a swamp, but with less water. Well, this guy is killed and two couples come to this place to drink beer and fish. Well the guys did, the wives came along to complain. The monster gets them and we have a couple of older people trying to figure out what is killing people, a sheriff who keeps losing deputies and a monster that doesn't look that bad getting virtually no screen time.
The monster kills people, but you really see nothing of the attack. One of those films featuring implied monster attacks. The cast, as I have said, is old. When the two girls on bikes ride through it was a breath of fresh air that was not there long enough as they get attacked. There is a swamp hag who kind of mumbles her lines to the point you cannot understand her and a guy who resembles Torgo who promptly gets killed when he leaves her shelter even though he should have known they'd be safer waiting inside her place.
A lot of films were made during the 70's of the lower budget horror variety and some of them work. Shock Waves, Dawn of the Dead and countless others that were still really good. This one was one of the many that were just plain laughable in their execution. Why would any filmmaker think that anyone would want to see a couple of people old enough to be grandparents making out? Though, honestly, that is the most horrific scene within the movie...
Lake Mungo (2008)
I actually did not like it after it ended
As the credits rolled in this one I was underwhelmed and confused as the film sort of ended without a real resolution that seemed to be needed. However, as I began to think about the film, things came to mind that made me think about it more and more. It became more interesting as I felt the filmmakers took an unorthodox approach at the major reveal and that was to not spell it out neatly at the end, but to hide it throughout the film leaving one of the most important clues near the beginning and using other ruses to make the viewer forget this important tidbit of information that begins to spell out a much clearer picture.
The film is a fake documentary, but also a mystery that we the viewers most unravel as the family is in too much denial to do so. Their daughter has drowned in a lake, which is not the lake Mungro of the title as so many seem to think, and we get to see how they are dealing with the loss. Soon, unexplained events begin to happen in the house and there seems to be images of the young woman within pictures the son takes. They try to figure out what is going on and find out who their daughter is so they can find closure, but does the daughter get that closure?
This film does not wrap up all the loose ends as I do believe the family never uncover the secret their daughter was harboring within; instead, believing everything wrapped up nice and neatly leaving the daughter to seek help elsewhere, mainly the viewer. I would almost suggest one would have to take stills of the film and compare to find the answers within and that is what makes this film very interesting and close to brilliant. I feel I have to watch more to find out if what I feel happened is correct as so many seem to pass over what I feel is the most important information given to us to clue us in on what happened.
So, while it is not going to be everyone's cup of tea, I found it quite interesting upon further thought. Others feel differently about what is going on and I feel too many think that the scenes at the end are the primary focus, while I feel there is something within the movie as a whole that gives us a clearer answer as to what happened to the girl.
House Shark (2017)
Well, it is better than some of the other low budget shark movies...
I knew going in that this would be a parody of Jaws, but I was not expecting it to be super corny with very annoying acting from all over the place. This film also has a run time that is way too long for a movie of this type and its obsession with buttholes was a bit disturbing. Sadly, I have seen much worse in terms of low budget shark films as usually seen on the SyFy channel, but this one just lays it on too thick to be good. The jokes fall flat a lot of times and is it just me or did the one guy sound like that prospector from the MST3K riffed film The Final Sacrifice and the son look and sound like that annoying kid from the riffed Teenage Strangler?
The story has a husband going on a date which apparently he feels compelled to go on despite not being attracted to the woman. He leaves his son in the charge of a babysitter who is cute and gets naked and gets eaten! The best scene and shark attack in the whole movie and by far the best behind. Well, the father and the son are living in a tent, the father doesn't want to show the house and wants to destroy it, but the realtors he signed up with do. So they send an expert to kill the shark who fails and then a man who knows about the house shark first hand comes as well as an expert as they try to battle the fish in the house.
The humor is of the parody variety, but just is not funny most of the time. I got tired of the guy doing the accent quickly and the fact they were all named after presidents, pointless. The acting is not good for the most part as it just has the feel of guys who think they are funny trying to hard. The shark is a costume and while it doesn't look great, it does look better than the CGI sharks found in most other cheaply made shark movies and the gore is quite good at times too.
So, while the film was pretty bad, it had its entertaining qualities. It may have helped had the film been shortened so that the bad acting did not begin to annoy and if they had stuck with simply doing a shark parody without the other references. Basically, a movie that tries to capitalize on the success of a film that is over 40 years old. It is better than that lawnmower film that was a parody of Jaws released by Troma in the 80's as that one played it deadly serious for some reason. So this movie has that going for it.
In the Tall Grass (2019)
Like a bad Silent Hill story with grass instead of fog...
The trailer for this movie made it seem like it was going to be interesting. I saw that and thought, "I wonder what is going on in this film, I'm sure it will be an interesting story." So, I looked forward to seeing it and now that I have, I have to say it was meh. The premise was interesting, the execution was lackadaisical and honestly, either Stephen King or his son must be a huge Silent Hill fan as this film felt like Silent Hill only less interesting. Also, going to say this now, it sure would have been nice to be given some hints as to what was happening in this movie!
The story has a creepy brother driving his sister who is pregnant to San Diego. She ends up having to vomit so the brother pulls over to the side of the road where there is a field of tall grass. Within, the sister hears a boy pleading for help and at one point a woman's voice warning the brother and sister not to come in. They do and find themselves in the tall grass where things do not operate normally. The woman's boyfriend comes looking and he too, becomes trapped within the strange landscape of mud and grass and bad CGI effects (seriously, not that many death scenes, why not practical effects?) Can they get out and will they clue us in on what the whole reasoning is behind the strange field that entraps people within?
The answer to letting us know is no. I notice something that happens in horror a lot that can ruin a film and that is revealing what is going on. A horror film too often reveals too much and it also oftentimes reveals too little. We have the latter here as this film gives us the viewers almost no information about what is going on. There is a rock in the middle of the field with drawings on it and the field seems alive, but why is never even hinted at. The bowling alley even suggests a town was once in the area and succumbed to the grass, but instead of leading to some sort of insight, it instead seems a pointless location that is one of the main things that pointed me in the direction of this being very Silent Hill like.
So, thought it was going to be good, but just did not like being left in the dark. A field in the middle of nowhere, where there was apparently a town and people become lost within the tall grass and we get nothing and are just supposed to roll with it? No, sorry, does not work at all. Perhaps the book revealed something, but if not, I'm afraid Stephen King just plain wrote this with the whole idea of being lost in grass and there is no meaning beyond it. There was nothing beyond the thought process other than, "Oh no, we can't get out of field" and then add a few things to pad the story. You have to at least leave clues for the viewer to come up with something, otherwise, they are like the characters in this film, lost.
Dead End (2003)
Good premise and interesting moments, but falls short
I liked the concept of this film as it has a car stuck driving down a strange road that seemingly has no end; however, while it was entertaining it kind of falls short of expectations. I was expecting more to happen along the road in the terms of creepy stuff, rather than it simply being the same woman in white every time. I also saw the ending coming way too early. Almost totally expected after the one scene of the father at the wheel asleep. Still, had some good moments and I kept watching hoping something more bizarre was going to come about so this one was a mixed bag for me.
The story has a family driving to the wife's grandparents for Christmas. The father does this begrudgingly as he is not wild about Christmas with the in-laws, which is par for the course. He is accompanied by his wife, his son and daughter and the daughter's fiance. Well, the father takes a shortcut and along this shortcut he sees a woman in white within the woods so he stops and offers assistance. They let her in the car and they drive to this cabin leaving the daughter behind for the moment. Well the wife and husband go into a cabin and the son apparently is in the mood so he goes into the woods leaving the fiance with the strange woman. He soon turns up in the back of a strange car that the daughter sees driving by and later is found dead upon the road. The family drives on in the hopes of getting to a town, but the road they are on seems to have no end.
The premise is good, I was thinking of a story that had a similar theme in mind involving a car on a strange stretch of road seemingly without end. I just felt they did not do enough with it as it almost plays out like a slasher film when there should be more supernatural things going on. The cast is pretty good, as they walk the tightrope of being people you are rooting for and rooting against.
So not the best horror film of the decade by any means, but it was not too bad either. I liked the concept, just felt they needed to be a bit more creative in areas of the film. I would of liked to see more strange things within the woods instead of the same woman in white. Despite all the negative I have said though it was an entertaining enough film, just that, like a lot of other horror films it failed to live up to the very good premise.
Day of the Animals (1977)
Has a television movie vibe going on
This is one of several disaster films of the 70's, this one being one where nature runs amok rather than a natural disaster occurring or a fire burning down a building. So, there are a few elements of horror within this one. It is also one of the disaster films that got the short end of the budget meaning it was made cheaply. So what we do not get is a super all star cast, but you do get actors Christopher George and Leslie Nielson and they do fairly well here. I feel this one just would have done better with a higher budget, as it stands it just has that television movie feel going on in it.
The story has the ozone depletion causing animals to go crazy and go on the attack at higher levels. Of course, this was when we were all being warned about this particular phenomenon and it was going to wipe us out, once it waned out something else would take its place. So, it already has a bad premise. I highly doubt the ozone being gone would do anything other than make animals and humans alike sluggish and then burn up! Well a group of hikers get dropped off on the mountain just before an evacuation and they soon are targeted by animals. A lot of the hikers, strangely, don't seem to even want to be on this expedition. Things break down, one of the hikers goes crazy, not sure why just one of them was affected the same way the animals were, and a lot of name calling occurs! Seriously, Leslie Nielson's character constantly insults a native American, but apparently calling someone 'hotshot' is worse and more likely to get one hit.
I think this could have been a good film, but needed more of a horror vibe to it and a few more animal attack scenes. Most of the film has the characters doing the whole disaster film melodrama thing as the characters get closer, only to watch as people desert each other at the first sign of trouble. Leslie Nielson's group was a bit more entertaining and there were some cool scenes, just not enough.
So, not totally bad, but just not good either. Too many things that made a person go 'what'? Like sending a woman and her husband down the mountain alone after the woman was mauled by a wolf. I am thinking the native American guide should have went with them. What is the likelihood of running into an entire camp of German Shepherds? How the hell do snakes get into a car with the windows up? Of course, these things also made the film more entertaining to watch as it was kind of funny in a demented way.
Demon Wind (1990)
The wind that carries the stink of horrible characters ruins this film
The film was not super horrible as it had a rather good premise, nice ideas and rather good effects; however, it is all undercut by shoddy motivations, pointless character tropes and just flat out bad acting. It is a film, that I had never heard of which is surprising seeing as how I love watching horror films, but this one obviously flew under the radar. At its core is a bit of an Evil Dead rip off with a dash of Demons and Night of the Demons, but does do a few things different that keep it interesting, that is, until the crappy characters ruin any momentum the film tries to pick up.
The story has a farmhouse under assail back in like 1929 by horrifying forces. It claims the lives of most of the family with the exception of one, whose son wishes to return to the farmhouse to figure out what happened. He assembles a group of friends and they arrive to find the place in shambles, though, when the main character looks through the door he sees the inside of a house, even though it is only the frame when looked upon on the outside. Soon evil forces assail the group and they have to survive the night as the demons come for their souls!
Sounds like an interesting idea and I think the story has some good in it, with the exception of the characters. Why the main character feels compelled to even bother going to this place is a mystery as he gives the vague, "I need to find out who I am" answer. Okay, but why do you apparently need every friend you have and their girlfriends too as well as an ex of one of the girls who is just going to create tension with one of your other friends? None of these friends are detectives or anything, so why does he feel the need to drag so many of them to this farm? Then the acting at times is so bad and the reactions idiotic! A girl vanishes and is seemingly turned into a doll, the boyfriend promptly throws down and it explodes! The reaction, very nonchalant. We have a frame of a house, but you can see the inside as it was years ago! The reaction, I couldn't even tell if they even realized anything!
So, a movie with a good premise shot down by horrible characters, a stupid twist and a few lingering questions. Happens all too often in horror films, as I fear many suffer from the fact an ending is not thought up when creating the story until the end and it kind of gets thrown in at the last second. I find, you should create an ending first and work your story towards it rather than craft a good idea and figure out the ending later. Also, I am all for having plenty of victims to kill, but the reasoning behind the main character bringing so many friends to this excursion seems forced. He could have easily came alone with his girlfriend or maybe one other couple, but he apparently invites eight people not including himself or his girlfriend. You just need better reasoning for so many to get together, like in Night of the Demons where it is a party or the film Demons where it is a premier of a film. The story just does not work, though some of the ideas are sound; however, all that being said, it was an interesting watch.
Old school and super fun gothic horror game!
I saw a trailer for this game and saw that it looked like another great game from back in the day, Symphony of the Night and I knew I had to get this one. It is made by the same creator as he apparently split Konomi and with the help of a go fund me was able to create this game. It shares quite a few similarities; however, it is different in many ways as well. The castle in this one is supposedly the biggest castle that the creator has designed as he has made several Castlevania games of this nature; though, having played only Symphony I can say that it seems a bit bigger, just not sure by how much.
The story has a young woman named Miriam trying to track down a man named Gebal. As children, both were part of cruel experiments meant to bring about some sort of demon apocalypse. Gebal survived the ritual; however, Miriam went into a deep slumber right before. She awakened years later and now a new castle of evil has appeared and so she sets forth to find out its dark and deadly secrets.
The game play is very much like Symphony of the Night in that it is side scrolling action game with some RPG elements to it as you must level your character and buy armor and weapons. There are a vast array of weapons to choose from as you have swords, daggers, whips and even guns! You also can take on abilities of your enemies. The game also offers you the chance to help out townsfolk and create weapons using alchemy. You can also cook meals that when you try them the first time you get a permanent stat boost!
So, this game is really fun. Symphony had a better story and had way better music, but this one is longer and you get to do a lot more. Both games are very good and I would not mind seeing more games of this type created as I like a nice side scrolling game every now and then. I would also love to see an old school RPG with the looks of Final Fantasy VI made with a super huge world, but that's just me. This game is definitely like revisiting the past with upgrades!
The Lion King (2019)
Pretty much everything you've seen before...
Once again, I somehow avoided these films when they were animated back in the day, but forced to go to the live action remakes today thanks to the wife. I saw the original one on VHS and it was pretty good, certainly seen a lot worse; however, I never said to myself, "This would be so much better if it were like a nature documentary". That is pretty much all they did to change this as the story is pretty much exactly the same. I cannot really fault Disney for this lazy approach to making films as the masses are eating it up like leftover spaghetti. Why make anything new, original or that isn't a comic movie as so many things have flopped badly when they try a different formula or try and adapt a novel. The best approach these days is just keep doing the same stuff and that is what this film pretty much does and though I thought it lacked a certain cuteness and expression turned into real looking animals, I cannot argue the profits it is turning.
The story, well, the king of the Pride Land and his wife have a child named Simba and the king's brother Scar who wishes to be king is not overjoyed by this arrival. He tries to hatch a plan to kill his nephew and then hatches a plan to kill the king. Simba leaves the Pride Land and meets a warthog and meerkat who teach Simba to just forget everything and don't care, but a childhood friend sends Simba back to the land of his birth to take his place as the rightful king.
The film has issues for me and the main one is the facial expression is just not there. They may as well be doing the whole using peanut butter to make it look like they are talking here. I would think with all the advancements made in computer generated graphics that they could make Simba and company look happy, sad and show other emotions and still make the animals look real. Sadly, no, they either could not or wanted this to look as real as possible; however, if you wanted that, why make the animals talk at all? May as well have taken the Milo and Otis approach and get one actor to do a voice over. Speaking of voice overs, whoever thought that not bringing back Jeremy Irons as Scar is a complete and utter moron!
So there you have it, my review of a movie that I feel was pointless to be made, but I am apparently alone in this thinking as the movie has done quite well. It is pretty much watching the Lion King again only with real animals and a strange change to daytime while, "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" was being performed. Seriously? What is up with that one? Too expensive to have CGI night or something? It is cute to see the lions as cubs, but the film just lacks the power of the original. I will not call it a wasted trip to the movies though as my wife enjoyed it and she is the one who wished to see it.