Reviews

I haven't seen Ishtar, but I did have the misfortune of seeing Kevin Costner's Postman, This is worse. Maybe the absolute worse piece of garbage I have ever seen, and if you look at my review for Moulin Rouge? that is saying something. Bad plot, acting was substandard and even wasted (even though, yes, Michael Keaton has been in some of the worst movies I have ever seen), and this movie has no redeeming value to anybody with more than half a brain. DO NOT SEE IF YOU HAVE GRADUATED THE 4TH GRADE as you will find this an insult to your intelligence.

Am I the only one who felt that this movie just was campy garbage. I mean granted, I have to give credit where it is due, The cinematography was different and grand, the singing of Ewen McGregor and Nicole Kidman was quality, however I felt that the Bastardization by Luhrman of the great Rock and Roll works probably made Freddy Mercury and Kurt Cobain roll over in their graves. I really felt that the predictable plot and the campy dance routines made me want to laugh in a bad way more than praise the movie. If this is the type of movie that people believe is brilliant, I believe that a new Paulie Shore movie is coming out for you intellectuals. After seeing this movie, I have lost all respect for Baz Luhrmann's "artwork". I mean, he should leave the writing to someone else, and just direct a film as although this film was nominated for best picture, I think it is truly worthy of being nominated for worst.

Artificial Intelligence did what any good piece of art does, it gets you to think about your own life, and learn a lesson about life and how your perspective might not be the correct perspective. The movie starts harmlessly enough, with a board discussing the release of a new potential "child" product that will love its owner unconditionally as a child loves a parent. The question that was raised in the room is how can man truly love an "inanimate" object as they love their own child. The movie then takes you through the process of the family who is used to test how this "child" will act in its environment, and shows how and why mankind could not except something that is so literal yet so good. This movie shows the literal nature of computers and its usage for good. as opposed to 2001 which showed the dark side of this nature. The movie brought out man's darker subjectivity versus the objectivity of the objects that they create. These ideas were brought out to make you think as Kubricks best movies tend to do. However, Spielberg does add too much of the Hollywood edge to the movie which in some ways added artistic elements that enhanced the movie which Kubrick was not known for(Full Metal Jacket being shot in a non-tropical area for the Vietnam war scenes). The visuals were stunning, from the scenery to the landscape to the toys of the future. However, the Hollywood ending that was added took as much away from the movie as George Lucas revealing in Episode one of Star Wars that the force was a biological being instead of an idea that can be learned. IF Kubrick would have finished the movie, it would have ended a good 10 - 15 minutes earlier and would have really driven home the idea that at least I took away from the movie is that, we can program computers to do anything, but can we accept what we program. Unfortunately, Spielberg has been too worried about putting together tripe that sells well at the box office(Saving Private Ryan, after the first 30 minutes of the most intense movie making ever) than taking a risk with a movie that might make one think. This movie would have been long enough at 127 to 133 minutes as opposed to the 143 minutes listed, and would have a more profound impact as both a piece of art, and classic cinema.

Sometimes a movie comes along which is so bad, that seeing it just discredits the whole art. Desperate Measures was one of these movies, but that is a different topic for a different time. But The Paper was certainly close. Never has a movie stuck out in my mind of having such a poorly written screenplay and waste of acting that Ron Howard has perpetrated in so many of his movies (My god I rooted for the capsule to blow up in Apollo 13 to give the movie some real drama). This movie was about a paper covering a story proving 2 young black children being blamed for a crime they didn't commit and the paper that covered the story. The movie boringly portrayed the inner-workings of the coverage of the story(in a newspaper environment) along with sub-plots that were just insulting in their stupidity. If you would like to see a movie with fake drama and an awful plot which doesn't draw you to the characters, and would like to waste your time, I would suggest this movie. But then again, I would recommend this after sitting through Pauly Shore and Carrot Top trying to convey the meaning of life for a sea slug. It is a shame that an actor who was the best Batman, didn't stick with the series and went along to make such classics as this, Multiplicity and Jack Frost. No wonder he hasn't done a movie in 3 years. This movie also brought down the careers of Glenn Close and Marisa Tomei in the process. It is fortunate that a director that lacks so much talent is out there so that we can better appreciate the works of Stanley Kubrick, and has paved the way for great young directors like M. Night Shyamalan and Sam Mendes (American Beauty) to show their Talent. To quote the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons, "Worst Movie Ever".