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Echo 3 (2022)
An international kidnap story like this begs for a sympathetic
Character, you won't find it here. Whose idea was it to hire the butt-ugliest woman on the planet as the abductee? By the end of a boring episode #3 you'll be dying for her captors to put an end to her suffering in the most painful way imaginable.
Luke Evans was great as usual, would be nice if he had a decent script or supporting cast but you won't find that here either. Michael Huisman, the guy who practically singlehandedly ruined Game of Thrones is here to put his tepid pretty boy looks on display as Special Forces Groomed for the White House son of a mega-gozillionaire who somehow can't find any political clout to have his new daughter in law free'd. Every episode drags, every episode we are treated to lingering minutes of the ultra-homely Jessica Collins sweating profusely and looking forlorn, its maddening. You won't like this series, if you do then you don't remember when the entertainment industry was designed to entertain!
I've seen The Godfather, and
I have a better Italian accent than Frank Grillo.
OK this is not a great movie, but it is an essential one. I've always been a car nut, and in my youth had a serious flirtation with the Italian breed, a Lambo was sort of a distant dream. However this movie, whether fact or fiction, fills in the blanks very nicely, despite its glaring limitations.
In all its fairly well cast with the exception of Mira Sorvino, she has joined the list of Tired Worn & Used up with Halle Berry. Anyway she doesn't occupy enough screen time to cause any ruination, the movie itself takes care of that. Grillo does succeed in bringing the necessary intensity, drive, and vision of the Signore to the role, but the script drags and its uneven and missing key elements. The strained relationship between Ferrucio and his son was painful and somewhere along the line a sale of the company is orchestrated but we're left wondering why? A passable 90 minutes and to my dying day I will always believe if you put me behind the wheel of a Countach I could smoke Enzo Ferrari no matter what he's driving. 6.5/10.
House of the Dragon (2022)
Seriously I don't even know what that (Ep 4) was!
This show just keeps getting worse, and after 4 episodes I no longer care. Although these fake ratings are pretty entertaining, looks like HBO employees are blitzing this board to keep the ratings aloft. Thank the lord for all these negative reviews for the reality check, its that bad.
Casting could not be worse top to bottom, the brooding prince was the only cast member they got right, the king is a pantywaist sissy, he ain't scaring anybody and he sure as hell isn't inspiring any loyalty. The scene with the buck is guaranteed to make you sick, is this how liberals hunt?
Bad scriptwriting and lower standards of CGI make for a certified snoozefest. And BTW I cancelled my HBO subscription on Monday, they have nothing left.
Animal Kingdom (2016)
Well we had Seasons 1-4.
Thanks for the memories. Season 5 has been taken over by a witless David Lynch wannabe, this series is thus destroyed from within and I doubt we'll see a season 6, as if anybody will care by then.
I love Leila George but all these flashbacks are a distraction and totally unnecessary for an understanding of the characters. Seems the boys have all lost their edge and meanwhile Pope has wandered off in a Peyote daze looking for answers to questions he's incapable of formulating. S5 is a total loser, a boring snoozefest extraordinaire.
If I had known this was limited to 3 episodes I wouldn't have bothered. Would have made a passable Movie of the Week, but I'm sorry this is neither "harrowing," compelling, or gut wrenching in its presentation... not in 3 measly parts.
Graham and Bean are excellent but this is light prison fare, if you were somehow scared straight by this then you have led a very sheltered life.
Ted Lasso (2020)
The biggest surprise in he worst year of the entertainment industry.
Going into this my only thoughts were...."This is going to be really dumb." What a shock to my system, a most clever and thoughtful charmer from Apple TV, I finished the series in two nights just in time for S2. Tell your friends, you'd have to be dead inside not to fall in love with this series.
And THAT is a word I never use, but this movie is nothing short of fantastic in every way.
I am not a Disney fan, I hate Disney but I needed to screen this for my daughter and it passed with flying colors. Watching in 4k was a special treat....sets, costumes, and the two Emma's (not to mention a great soundtrack) make for a high watermark in pure entertainment, and that is very rare these days. First time on over 10 years I believed a film to be Oscar worthy, too bad that award means so little in today's climate. Minus 1 star for the sad CGI dogs.
Far Cry (2008)
OK, maybe in 2008
This might have sucked, but today its Academy Award material in comparison to the garbage we're being fed by Hollywood. Time for all you 4* Gomers out there to rewatch and recalibrate your opinions of this terrific action flick, this is as good as it gets in these times.
The Assistant (2019)
WTF did I just watch?
You know I have seen some bad movies, especially recently since they all seem to be about mistreated females or some other class of mistreated humans, but generally you expect there to be a story. Here the main story seems to be about people you never see, or hear, so the story kind of subverts itself... then it just ends... abruptly.
I don't care how much of a Julia Garner fan you are, and she is an extraordinary talent, like me you will watch this thing because you love her, then you will be pissed at yourself for sitting still through this steaming pile of artsy crap. 2/10.
Coming 2 America (2021)
We waited 30 years for this?
Amazing they were able to keep some cast members on life support long enough to finish this blasphemy, but thats what it is... total dreck. Eddie Murphy should be ashamed to sully his legacy with crap like this, and it is total unadulterated crap... and I'm being kind.
Well its been fun.
Quality of the writing has been in decline for years, losing Emmy Rossum was a major blow, and now in the final season there is social justice to tend, to hell with the loyal fans.
In the season opener as Frank is pontificating on the vast contributions by the Gallaghers in building the city of Chicago, predictably we are treated with a lingering shot of a Black Lives Matter mural, easy to see what the theme of this season is going to be. Excuse me but I'm not going to stick around for the Trump jokes, I'm out. Now I'm off to cancel my subscription to Showtime, like I said its been fun.
Palm Springs (2020)
As bad as it gets.
I had picked this for my daughter based on its sterling Metacritic (85) rating, well I suppose we can write off Metacritic as nothing but paid shills for Hollywood now. By far and away one of the worst movies I've seen in recent memory, all these glowing reviews should qualify their authors for an intense psychological evaluation.
Boring, tedious, redundant, obnoxious, and amateurish snoozefest... I actually don't remember one single funny scene unless you count somebody being flattened by an 18 wheeler but I'd just call that karma. This is one to avoid at all costs, and no it doesn't work on a younger crowd either... maybe a much much younger crowd like under 10.
7 Days to Vegas (2019)
I can't remember the last time I qualified a movie as such, maybe 1987 or somewhere around there... I was captured by the gambling aspect of this flick, and it delivered in spades!
Funny, creative, and filled with captivating drama, real or imagined. This is what the movies are all about, including a surprise twist for an ending. Very satisfying, crack open a 6 pack and just enjoy. BTW, don't believe the rating for this thing, I don't know what the hell's wrong with people.
The Outsider (2020)
This had such great potential.
Ep 1-3 were great, then we were introduced to Holly Gibney. It was all downhill from there. A modern day Whoopi Goldberg cut in the mold of a classic David Lynch character Gibney races full steam ahead into the momentum of this show, and stops it cold. I checked out half way through Ep 6, I can live without this tripe.
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)
My adult kids were pretty jazzed about seeing this, they both went to sleep during the damn thing and I had to struggle to keep my eyes open as well. Boring, stupid, and lacking any creativity or humor. A total and complete waste of time.
Rambo: Last Blood (2019)
Better than expected.
I watched this with very low expectations, and I was pleasantly surprised with this film, John Rambo fans will love it.
The 2.39:1 aspect ratio aside, and Rambo literally pulling off the impossible in record time south of the border I really don't have any criticism of this flick, its highly entertaining and very satisfying in the end. Actually the climax will have you laughing and clapping and hooting and hollering, this is John Rambo at his finest. Will make you hungry for just one more in this series, Stallone looks like he's up to the challenge.
Running with the Devil (2019)
I can't believe I sat through this entire thing. As far as Nic Cage movies goes, this ranks as one of his best in the last 10 years. Unfortunately thats not saying much as this flick still belongs on the garbage heap of big name talent like Fishburn who I don't even believe Samuel L Jackson would have taken this role, and I guarantee he most likely turned it down.
Basically this tells the story of how cocaine is literally walked from Columbia to Canada, its idiotic, its boring, and its fiction. 4 Snorts, and I'm being kind.
Season 3 is an absolute disaster.
Appears David Lynch has hijacked this show. I thought I was tuning into my favorite series but it turns out I'm just having a bad Twin Peaks flashback.
Goliath is now a cartoon, a shell of its former self and its pretty obvious its been decided there will be no Season 4 because I've never seen such lazy self indulgent crap in my life. I'm through Ep 5 and I've seen nothing that motivates me to finish out, well there is Tania Raymond but this storyline is more reminiscent of Fear and Loathing than our beloved Goliath.
Season 1 was a 10+, Season 2 was a solid 8, S3 is a 4, and I'm being kind. Thanks Billy Bob, its been fun.
El Gringo (2012)
This may be the dumbest movie I've ever seen.
But since I watched a flick about moon Nazis last night I'll have to reserve that title for another day. Scott Adkins should be in the next John Wick movie, as a bad guy, he can certainly kill as many people, and with gusto.
Get a 6 pack and settle in for 90 minutes of mindless nonsense, punctuated by Christian Slater's stellar acting.
Iron Sky: The Coming Race (2019)
Oh come on, it wasn't that bad.
OK the writing was weak, but this was an entertaining flick, for those with the patience to sit through it. If you didn't you missed some hilarious moments.
Moon Nazis, dinosaurs, eternal life, the Hollow Earth, reptoids, and the 10 or so well known rulers of Agartha, I mean it doesn't get any better than this, this is a conspiracy theorist's dream! Don't know why they wasted their money on Tom Green, my uncle Wayne would have been better in that part but I guess he was available since I haven't heard his name in over 10 years.
Less satisfying than it was just plain dumb, but look on the bright side.... its only 90 minutes long and you'll be able to tell your friends you saw probably the most idiotic "movie" ever made.
I have been telling you people for years....
That Tarantino is a no talent hack. OK, so he made two good films, not sure where he stole the material from but this mess, Once Upon a Time is the worst movie I've seen in the last 20+ years. If you want to be bored out of your skull for 2 hours this is just for you.
Four nights later and I can't finish this thing.
Earth to casting.... Halle Berry, what were you people thinking? Did she win a Nose Flaring audition for this part? She's 53 years old, totally wrong for this movie, and looks bitter, old, and used up. Oh but it gets better, who cast the clown act from Iron Chef, you know the "Ala Cuisine" guy? Its laughable, and looking at these reviews I'm not alone in my disgust for this mess of a movie.
Love the first two installments, this one will survive on the John Wick legend at the top of the Hollywood trash heap with all the other crap they're producing these days. A complete waste of time, you've been warned.
The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018)
What was the point of this?
Just more self-indulgent crap by the Coen bros., ultimately leading nowhere but to loneliness and despair. And even in the closing credits you are shown a horse's ass, which is what I feel like for sitting through over 2 hours of this babble. Intriguing story lines and casting aside, if you feel anything other than vacant after watching this thing, you're not really somebody I want to hang out with. 4 Spurs
The Russian Bride (2018)
Better than expected.
To all you guys that have been surfing RussianBrides.com all these years, you need to see this flick. An unsuspecting MILF with a young attractive daughter is lured and seduced by an American billionaire, travels to the US and gets married and moves into a remote mansion with a weird housekeeper and a Rob Zombie character as a caretaker. That would all be OK if the master of the house wasn't a complete raging psychopath.
I rarely watch films like this, its dark and the content is fairly disturbing, but I liked it. Corbin Bernsen was very believable as the resident lunatic, and the minimalistic cast falls into perfect lockstep with the pace and grim potential of this soon to be cult classic. Highly recommended. 8/10
What happened to Sam Elliot's chin?
Did it get shot off in Road House or something.
Excruciatingly slow, painfully stupid, boring beyond words except for the exceptional production quality.... too bad about the script, sentimental propagandist nonsense.
Bigfoot gets a tip of the hat from the Walking Dead. One of the worst movies I've seen in the last ten years.