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Hooten & the Lady: Egypt (2016)
Season 1, Episode 3
3/10
Even Ritson and Coulby can't save this hot mess
12 October 2016
The usually watchable Blake Ritson is reduced to a grating accented villain while Angel Coulby's characters changes her identity more times than her clothes during the episode. Lady Alex is no Lara Croft or Sydney Fox, and overly smug Hooten leaves me cold despite snarky mercenary usually being my type. Nasty anti-patriotism subtext using the name of a once real pro-Greek independence group for a group of supposed fantatics who want to start a war (Greece is broke, even Alexander the Great's body isn't going to fund a war). Cringe worthy gay reveal played for laughs to finish. Cliché and cheesy and not in a good way. Go and watch "Relic Hunter", "Veritas: The Quest" or "The Librarians" if you want action and adventure, or "Upstairs, Downstairs" if you want to see want Ritson and Landes are capable of.
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Storm Seekers (2009 TV Movie)
It's not sure it even wants to be a disaster movie
28 April 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Darryl Hannah does her best as a tortured meteorologist whose tragic past leads to her to risk her life tracking hurricanes, but the plot is slow to start and bad but not even so bad it's laughable.

Most of the action takes place on board the plane so badly made it falls to pieces doing the job it is supposed to be suitable for, while on the ground the director of the National Storm Center refuses to heed her warnings (for a director of such a facility he seems unable to understand the significance of the data he's sent her to collect and unwilling to listen to anyone else's analysis of it).

Single dad Dylan Neal is the reporter Hannah hates at first sight, so naturally they're an item by the close of the movie. The other crew get brief back-stories (divorced, baby on the way) except the only non- Caucasian character who isn't deemed important enough to worry over. Guess which one survives? (the baby trump card plays yet again)

Worst of all, the movie ends as the hurricane hits landfall, so this a movie about a hurricane that doesn't in fact feature a hurricane. I wasn't expecting Oscar material but I was expecting an average storyline well told. Disappointing.

Check out "Medusa's Child" for a really claustrophobic on-board thriller, or "Locusts" for a Neal movie that's average but at least is silly fun.
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Merlin (2008–2012)
9/10
"Merlin" is another well-made fun-for-all-the-family offering from the BBC.
10 November 2008
Warning: Spoilers
"Merlin" is another well-made fun-for-all-the-family offering from the BBC. This particular version of the well known myth has a teenage Merlin travel to Camelot to study with an old friend of his mother's, a physician named Gaius (an excellent Richard Wilson). Merlin has innate magical powers that he's only just learning to control; Gaius, a man with similar though lesser abilities, is supposed to help him. However Camelot is not yet the paradise of the myths and is a dangerous place for one like Merlin. Ruled by the often cruel and tyrannical Uther Pendragon, this is a kingdom where magic is forbidden on pain of death. Uther has even killed all but one of the dragons, and this last lonely creature (pretty good CGI and voiced by John Hurt) is chained up in the dungeon – where Merlin heeds its call and often visits him to be given cryptic prophecies about his role in protecting Prince Arthur, destined to unite all of Albion and usher in a golden age. Arthur, heir to the throne, is already showing a far more tolerant, compassionate demeanour than his father; however for Arthur become king and, he must survive long enough to be crowned. Arthur has many enemies, some of whom are actually more interested in a revenge on Uther. Merlin, a magnet for trouble, soon finds himself appointed Arthur's manservant. What might seem a demotion from his studies with Gaius actually helps him by giving him ample opportunity to step in save the prince whenever an assassination attempt occurs. Finally we have Gwen and Morgana. Morgana is Uther's ward; unknown even to herself at first, she too has magical abilities. Her nightmares are actually precognitive flashes; Morgana is a Seer, reason enough for Uther to put her to death if it became known. Gwen is no Lady of the court, at least not yet; in this story she is Morgana's chief maid. At this point Gwen is romantically interested in Merlin while Morgana is denying her attraction to Arthur so hard that its clear she actually likes him. Now, admittedly, in most of the myths a mature Merlin takes away the child Arthur and raises him to adulthood before apprenticing him to a knight, Sir Kay. (This Merlin should be thankful he's not changing Arthur's nappies, never mind washing his underwear!) However there is a wide variety of myths to pick and choose from. Merlin is from Wales/Cornwall/Midlands/Ireland. Arthur pulls Excalibur from a stone/Arthur receives Excalibur from the Lady of the Lake. Arthur is taken to Avalon over the water/laid to rest in a cave in the mountains. And so on. There is no "one" myth, no "one" truth. Which is why this show should be treated as another reinvention, albeit with a very modern twist, on archetypal themes and well-known mythology. I'm most interested in Morgana; later scholars have depicted her as evil and scheming, yet she is one of the nine sisters who take Arthur to Avalon in many versions of the tale. It's speculated that she might even have been an early goddess before her demonization by educated males who, like Uther, couldn't bear the thought of a powerful woman in a position of authority. This new retelling casts her in a sympathetic light – I'm just wondering what will happen when she finds out the truth about her parentage. A simple scan through some of the myths shows that in the majority of stories Uther is responsible for the death of Morgana's father – often so that he can "marry" Morgana's mother. So if you have no mythological knowledge you can enjoy the show for the high adventure and low comedy it presents. But if you do, try and appreciate it on its own merits, wonder which characters might come in to play (we've already met Lancelot and without any context the recent "Beginning of the End" makes less sense), consider which mythological elements might be used, ponder how the great love story of Arthur/Guinevere can come to pass given the current situation. But above all, forget how "accurate" it is, and just enjoy the ride.
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