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Reviews
El Topo (1970)
El Topo? More like El Nada
I have a rule that if I pay for the movie, I watch it. I thought I would take a chance, you never know, right?
I saw Spaghetti Western and that sold me.
If you liked those, and other westerns, don't expect this to be like them. It is nothing like them, it is just extremely weird & tasteless. That will probably appeal to some. I would say if you can imagine a western version of "A Clockwork Orange" but with lower quality and not made for English audiences - - - got that? Now, imagine if it were 20% as good as what you imagined, that is probably about right.
If you like naked boys on horseback, mutated dwarfs, and senseless violence with occasional Bible verse addresses posted on the scene, this might be the movie for you. Welcome to bizzaro world.
A Serious Man (2009)
A Serious(ly Unlucky) Man
I watched this film when it first came out (as every good Coen Bros fan should) and I remember it being strange and indeed it is. Strange and great in my opinion. So many subtle and specific nuances. Using lyrics from Jefferson Airplane's "Somebody to Love" is really just a stroke of genius. You never knew when it was going to pop up, especially when one of the elderly rabbi's was quoting a few lines, very slowly.
Many, many Jewish references. As a goy I needed my Funk and Wagnalls handy.
Anything that could go wrong with the lead character did, up to the very last scene.
It had a very strange and abrupt ending, not that there's anything wrong with that!
There were many quotable lines, my favorite, "He didn't look busy!"
See it.
Donnie Darko (2001)
Donnie Bizarro
I saw this film many years ago, didn't remember much about it other than it was strange. This second viewing confirmed that but in a good way.
The acting is top notch and for a first time director, I was impressed. It was also surprising to see several well-known actors who would soon become household names.
What a creative mind one must have to come up with this story. The music fit in exceptionally well and there was no way I could predict how this would end.
I can see how this has become a cult classic and I would recommend everyone give it a view it is so different.
By the way, this is Seth Rogen's first flick and he plays a bully, which was weird.
Equinox (1970)
Late night stink-o-rama
I will give it rwo stars for the attempt and for just a $6500 budget. Horror movie? No!
It attempts to tell the story of four friends who are attacked by various demons and monsters after they are given a mysterious book (in a cave by a crazy old man) with mystical origins.
There is not a lot I can say that is positive unfortunately.
The claymation looks like it was done by a 10th grader, the dialogue and acting about the same.
It reminds me a little bit of Jason and the Argonauts but just a little. About the only claim to fame this flick has is the film debut of Frank Bonner, who's later go on to play Herb Tarlick on "WKRP in Cincinnati."
Road House (2024)
Road Hard (and put up wet)
The ONLY reason I watched this was due to Jake Gyllenhal. I really like the guy as an actor and he was definitely the star of this drek.
The dialogue and acting was wooden and you had to know how it was going to end after 10 minutes in.
Probably the most depressingly boring film I have seen in a while. The only reason I am giving it 4 stars is due to the special effects in the action scenes, slow mo, 3d-like. It was a little different.
Another thing that was different,at least I havent noticed it before, the ending credits listed Covid Medics, Covid test schedulers, Covid coordinator and several more. There, 600.
The Gentlemen (2024)
Gentlemen Prefer .....Weed
Unlike a lot of people, I like Ritchie's style. Action, good music, good actors, what's not to like?
Basically, a Duke finds out his father, after his death, has been allowing weed to be grown on his 15000 acre estate and making a lot of money on the side.
The idea that Eddie (the Duke) wanted to get his family out of the game just wasn't believable, and you knew from the start he'd end up getting sucked into the life. Again, he's close to being a psychopath with his unflinching nature toward violence, and as his brother tells him later, he was born for this. On top of that, his mother already knows about the business and doesn't care, even helping with some of their problems. His brother actively wants to stay in. Eddie has no wife or children he's protecting. So what's the conflict here? Of course he's going to ultimately want to keep going, and it takes eight episodes to bring that to an end, so, a little drawn out.
Still, the show is a lot of fun. The way the show ends seems like it almost demands a second season, and given its performance so far, it feels like it is likely to get one. .
3 Body Problem (2024)
Better call Saul.......or not
I kept waiting and waiting and waiting, be patient they said,its worth it they said. Could very well be one of the worst series ever to grace my television. There was 15 minutes left and I had NO IDEA how it would end, none, zero.
For me, it was so convoluted, I just lost interest but had to keep watching to see how it was going to end.
Its beyond me how this series gets 8, 9 and 10 star reviews.
40 years ago a Chinese woman agrees to aid the aliens, in the present, she IS aiding the aliens but they will not be here for 400 years BUT, one of the aliens in the form of an attractive woman is communicating with the humans via televisons, anywhere, anytime.
The end of the series was NOT worth the wait, trust me.
I obviously did not get it, like so many reviewers did.
Kingdom: Ashin-jeon (2021)
Queen of the zombies
I didn't know what I was getting into when I chose this flick. Like so many before, the trailer looked good and sometimes you need to take a chance, you never know. This one was a hidden gem. I was unaware it was part of a series.
A revenge zombie movie? What a great idea! I am a big fan of Korean movies having been stationed there in the Army and really liked the culture. I've seen many good Korean movies and I'll add this to the list. I've seen one too many zombie movies but this was more a revenge flick than a zombie flick. Especially after what they did to her dad.
What a great idea though to have Ashin be patient and bide her time and turn one of her hated enemies into a zombie and of course all hell broke loose cuz you know what a zombie does, it's got to eat!
The last few minutes didn't sit with me well but other than that, great flick.
The Wicker Man (1973)
Dazed and confused
The Wicker Man could be one of the most over-rated movies ever. A policeman goes to a small island to investigate a letter sent to him by a girl who is missing for 8 months. I am obviously in the minority on this one and it baffles me. Christopher Lee, must be good right? Wrong.
The film is mostly fluff, singing about sex and harvest and other silly things. I understand these are clues but still.
Britt Ekland naked, singing to the policeman who is in the next room in the hotel, for him to come hither, beating on the wall.
The policeman made virtually no attempt to escape his fate except to keep shouting out he believes in Jesus.
And the final scene? Overrated.
Pass on this and watch Midsommar.
Spaceman (2024)
Ziggy Stardust and the Spider from Mars
I like Sandler, I've seen most, if not all, of his movies, including Punch, Drunk, Love so I know he can do drama. But for the most part, to me, he will always be Happy Gilmore.
I watched this one because I thought something would happen but, not much did. The visuals were pretty basic. Sandler is so quiet, he barely gives a performance at all.
Sandler plays Jakub, an astronaut sent on a solo mission to solve the mystery of a pink cloud hovering over the Earth. He has been gone around 6 months.
I spent much of the film wondering why this guy was sent on this possible Earth-saving mission. His main concern, rather than the mission, is what's going on back home with his wife (Carey Mulligan), who's expecting their child but is about to leave him. Mulligan mostly appears in flashbacks and visions. He just doesn't seem to have his mind on his job.
Just a few minutes into the film, a giant spider appears in the ship. How did he get in the ship? Is he real or a product of Jakub's mind?
Do we need to read the book now to understand a move?
He addresses Sandler as "Skinny Human." The alien functions as his therapist and somehow knows all about his past and even has videos!
Many people will love this movie, just not me.
Millennium (1989)
Oh Brother (Where art thou)
Give it a try they say, its great sci-fi they say. Its better than I thought they say. Oh Brother were they wrong.
So much has changed since 1989. In 1989 I guess this MAY have been consider great sci-fi but now? No. I may be jaded but this is drek.
Cheryl Ladd is an alien from 1000 years in the future. Kristoferson is an NTSB investigator who hasn't had a vacation in 6 years, a by the book, serious guy, who everyone looks up to and respects yet he spends ONE night with the alien LADD and he is willing to give everything up to be with her. Give me a break.
Nevermind the plot of the story, its stupid. I suggest you delete this from your queue immediately and watch Star Trek.
Out of Darkness (2022)
Something wicked this way comes
I liked the idea of a 40000 BC horror movie. The setting was nice landscape in the UK which could have been anywhere but just too many loose ends. Was it budget?
Just the writer? I don't know but how did they have these fires in the middle of a huge open area with no trees to be seen? Did they carry dried wood with them?
The "monster" was grabbing the people from around the fire at night and they would disappear in half a second.
One man's face was basically broken in half. The scream/yell that it made when attacking just had to be a Predator-like alien, right? No, it ended up being a guy from another tribe with a big mask on. Come on!
I'll give them three stars for effort.
The Burning Plain (2008)
Welcome to Happiness?
I thought this film would be interesting given the three actresses. One of J-Laws first along with Basinger and Theron, what could go wrong? Nothing really. This was my first exposure to Arriaga and I found it interesting especially when it all comes together.
Sylvia has a responsible job as a manager at a high end restaurant, very personable, unlike her personal life, sleeping with any man that asks, we wonder why. Her only hint of emotion is through self-inflicted mutilation of cutting.
Meanwhile, in the New Mexican desert, Robert and Gina seem to have it all. A happy home. A loving family. A good life. But do they? Gina is lifeless and emotionless. She is unhappy, insecure and afraid, merely going through the daily motions. But that was before meeting Nick who makes her feel alive.
These two worlds will merge with a twist you won't see coming.
It's worth a look just to see a young J-Law.
La planète sauvage (1973)
On second thought, let's not go to Camelot, it's a very silly place
I remember this movie title from long ago but never saw it. I appreciate the animation which certainly is very Monty Pythonesque.
It's an age-old story which has been told many times and many ways and this is certainly a unique take and before its time.
The Oms (the oppressive) are able to load two rocketships full of their "people" and escape from the Draags and are able to find out how they reproduce, basically. The Oms now dominate the Draags and the Draags now want to make peace.
I have been on a bit of an animation kick lately and watched two that are as groundbreaking as this, in my opinion. The House is very good and under-rated but the film to see is The Wolf House. The animation is incredible.
Llamageddon (2015)
I can't see clearly now
I am assuming the 8's, 9's and 10's are all the people involved in the movie and their friends and neighbors.
I really can't believe its on Prime so I will give them a two for that and for making the movie.
The effects aren't bad for a super small budget.
I guess Spielberg might have started like this.
Keep up the good work and maybe we will see you on the red carpet somewhere.
OK, so, are there any other movies you are going to make in the near future?
Try Swiss Army Man, its got to be better than the one with Daniel Radcliff.
Or maybe Lamb, with Noomi Rapace, you could do wonders with that one. Good luck!
You Won't Be Alone (2022)
Bewitched
As a Noomi Rapace fan I thought I was aware of all of her films but this one eluded me. I watched Lamb last week, too bad she wasn't in this one more but it is still a strange and interesting horror film.
A woman becomes a witch and the film follows her as she "occupies" different peoples bodies. The narration is her thoughts (she never speaks) of the world around her. She lived alone for her first 16 years or so and never learned to speak basically. Everything is foreign to her and as a result, her thoughts are child-like throughout the whole film.
The setting is beautiful, the way these people lived, tragic, but they knew no different.
Patience is required, its certainly not for everyone. I kept thinking, as the movie was nearing the end, how it was going to end. The ending was none of mine, but, that's OK.
Under the Silver Lake (2018)
In search of.....
What a relief to see a decent flick after watching some bad flicks lately. Andrew Garfield plays Sam to the hilt. I need to go back and check out some more of his movies. Anyway, he is great,as are all of the other actors as well, really.
Over the course of 4 nights, Sam meets a woman he was listing after, she vanishes, he searches for her going to a couple of really strange parties, gets drugged twice, wakes up in a graveyard, goes skinny dipping in a reservoir/lake with the daughter of the dead man, she gets shot while skinny dipping, meets a cult, gets drugged there and the list goes on and on. Crazy stuff but I loved it.
I kept wondering how it was going to end but it seemed to have the perfect ending.
Don't miss this one if you enjoy off-the-wall craziness!
Swiss Army Man (2016)
I can't believe I watched the whole thing
I saw the reviews of 8's and 9's and 10's. I saw the reviews of 1's and 3's and 4's. I took a shot. I just don't get it, obviously, just look at the big 1 STAR above.
I kept waiting on something that would allow this film to deserve the high reviews. At the 30 minute point I thought there MUST be something.
At the 1 hour point I thought there MUST be something that would allow this drek, I mean film, to deserve 10 stars but alas, it never happened, NEVER!
The farting got real old. It was original I'll have to admit but other than that it had no redeeming qualities.
But, you know what they say, One man's trash is another man's treasure.
Is Genesis History? (2017)
What a bunch of drek
These guys are talking alot but not saying much. Andrew says several hundred feet of sediment in Sedona, 70 miles from the Grand Canyon, was formed in hours. Incredible. It just doesnt make sense.
I watched the documentary Ancient Earth recently. If you want really good information on how the earth has been shaped, watch that, its excellent.
"The events in the past are not like the present" Kurt says. Really?
I realize they are trying to tie all this to the Bible and how the earth was made but the way they are explaining does not make sense. "God is not creating the universe today" he says. Come on."The garden of Eden is very different than the present". Yes, he said that.
Ruthless (2023)
Why?
Why did I watch this? That is what I kept asking myself as this very predictable revenge "thriller" rolled on. I know why, I paid my 4 dollars to Amazon Prime and if I paid for it I'm going to watch it. Well, truth be told, didn't watch the whole thing, my finger was on the fast forward button.
It was loaded with bad writing, bad acting and waayy too predictable.
All Dermot had was breaking bones?! I mean, come on, everybody gets at least one bone broken. The title of this terrible flick should have been the Bone Breaker.
Now, I am going to have to watch something really good to wash the taste out of mouth, like Poor Things.
Poor Things (2023)
Just a great film
I've seen several of Yorgos films over the years and have told several friends to give them a try (Dogtooth most recently) and he didn't finish it so I know they aren't for everyone.
This movie has it all, acting, costumes, the incredible sets that were built and especially the dialog, what great dialog!
The two hours and twenty minutes flew by, another signature of a great movie in my opinion, and even my wife liked it and have virtually nothing in common when it comes to movies.
They never give you an idea of when it takes place but Yorgos mixed the past and the future in the best possible way.
If Emma doesn't win the Oscar, something is wrong.
War on Everyone (2016)
Hidden Gem
Not for everyone that's for sure but if you are into the "dark comedy" you will love this one.
I had this on last night while I was doing some work on the laptop only partially playing attention but catching the dialogue every now and then. About half way through I realize the dialogue is continually funny and dropped the lap top to pay closer attention to the rest of the movie.
So now, here I am, the next morning, rewatching the movie. There was ALOT I missed. What a crazy movie! Could be one of the best movies I've seen this year, and I watch a lot of movies.
And Paul Reiser shows up out of nowhere and fits right in with the craziness.
Just watch it.
No One Will Save You (2023)
It's different, that's for sure
The little world Brynn (Kaitlyn Dever) lives in is a safe one. It mostly encompasses her childhood home, a warm and rambling house next to a lake. Brynn mostly stays at home.
Brynn's little world can only keep the world out for so long. When she does go to town, she's shunned. For the most part, she seems okay with solitude. She still mourns her mother. Even worse is the loss of her friendship with Maude a loss that she feels keenly. Once, Brynn could talk to Maude about anything. Now, Brynn doesn't talk to anyone about anything.
One night an intruder shows up, one that's not from around here (so to speak). When it forces its way into Brynn's home, its motives aren't immediately clear. In fact, dealing with her seems to be fairly low on its to-do list. It's still a threat, and before long, Brynn will have to deal with both it and the truth about her past.
There are no exploding buildings, nor do we see gargantuan battles. Director Brian Duffield is more interested in how a young woman deals with the destruction of her carefully constructed world. That's a good decision, and it works fiendishly well in the first act. We watch Brynn dealing with the alien home invader and see her making smart and tactical decisions. Throughout the initial sequence, Duffield does outstanding work with sound design, the immediate geography of Brynn's house, and editing that jacks the tension up to nearly unbearable levels.
That's the good news. The bad news is that the second and third acts, while pretty well done, never sustains the first act's high-wire balancing act between suspense and characterization. The opening home invasion sequence is more than just a "booga-booga" chase scene. It explores the idea that the alien home invader is the first person to set foot in Brynn's house in years. That's a cool concept that matches themes with genre thrills nicely. Theme and genre don't sync up again as things progress, and the truth about Brynn's past should parallel the invasion narrative.
When we get right down to it, this film has a single character. Nobody else is involved, makes decisions, or even says words out loud. That means it's all on Kaitlyn Dever to make this thing work, which luckily for everyone, she does! Dever has a marvelously expressive face that communicates concepts and emotions better than an overwritten monologue. She shows us terror, steely resolve, gnawing guilt, and tiny moments of happiness. She also does a nice job with running, lunging, and inflicting grievous bodily harm on a few luckless intergalactic critters. Like I said, its different.
Sicario (2015)
Great flick
What a great movie. I have seen several of Del Toro's films, they have always been good but this one makes him my new favorite actor. Pretty much everything about this film is good, especially the music, it really ratcheted up the suspense, kudos to the sound editor.
I watch alot of films since I retired and I am surprised this one flew under my radar.
The scenery really gave it a feeling of isolation and loneliness, plenty of action, great acting, everything you want in an action/thriller.
I don't give too many 10's as I thought I have seen all the good movies but this is well worth a look. Great flick.
Men (2022)
Not sure what to say
I watched this because of Jessie Buckley. She has been in several really good films. I've seen alot of weird movies, alot of strange movies, alot of gross movies but this one takes the cake.
It was shaping up to be a pretty good "horror " movie until it reached the last 20 minutes then just turned completely bizarre.
I am not sure what it was even about to be honest. It could all have been in her head, maybe. It could have been another dimension, maybe. I could go on with the maybe's but let me just say this.
If you aren't into totally weird, strange, bizarre films, do not watch this movie under any circumstances.
I am giving it a 4 for the first 2/3 of the film.