Reviews

783 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
The Lobster (2015)
European Socialist meets US Prude
22 January 2020
And once more the European tax payer becomes a film producer with no way to opt out. The result is a slow, Euro style movie in which the strict Socialism of Europe meets the US prude attitude. "They" will provide you everything, but you still get to keep your ugly underwear as not to offend the governmental commission. The extras play with the dignity of the Union worker. The story also has the air of Union contracts. Like with most European films, the story is for 30-40 minutes, blown up to what the governmental commission asked for the run time. But the story is that bad it keeps needing the god voice to explain the empty frames.

Finally, a successful, unpolished film student movie. You have the blue filter when the audience needs a cue it's a cold, impersonal scene. You have the red filter when it should be a personal scene. You have the Kaurismaki rip off scene and all the rest they teach in film school.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Jojo Rabbit (2019)
Excellent, but not La Vita e bella
7 January 2020
I was expecting a shallow comedy, something like thousands of Hitler collages on YouTube.
0 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
6 Underground (2019)
Old school stupidity
21 December 2019
A decade after the fall of URSS the Americans were still fighting the Russians, Rocky style. It still happens from time to time.

In this one, the political context is pretty much 1987 Arnold in Commando. Europe is the patriarchal 1970s style of movie. No Robocops from 4 different agencies filling up the offenders with bullets. Lucky for me NetFlix has hundreds of other shows and I am not stuck with a f-up Saturday night because there is nothing else on the government-mandated TV stations, neither I can complain about my wasted money on the tickets.
0 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
The Witcher (2019– )
Meh
21 December 2019
A mediocre book gave way for a very well sold video game that remarked itself with very good graphics, maybe the best in its league at the time. The series is about the same: good looks, vague traces of brain.

Opening scene. Calm. A deer drinks water. But, oh, it seems there was a battle between some sort of skeleton spider and some guy. The guy is very strong, so he drops his sword and barely gets it back at the third attempt. Lucky for him, the spider is not smart enough to understand that the sword that already cut two of his legs might kill it. After the killing, the guy gets out calm and his well : fresh makeup, nicely combed hair.

Next scene. The guy from scene one is in a much poor shape, probably to make a good impression he has his hair in all directions and covers his armor. He is a guy that killed that thing in the lake. And by his calm, he has killed far bigger beasts. But a villager half his size is ready to get into a fight? And the bar tender who refused to serve him, now politely serves him?

Next he walks down the village. The village is some sort of medieval Paris as there are even more people in the street than in the saloon. And everybody is looking at the guy. Really? He seems to have ridden to the village and even he parked his horse and a monster nearby, but people start noticing him as he walks down the street.

So, in short, it is a much tamer version of a successful HBO show, tamer as in cheaper.
20 out of 77 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
A decent movie when there's no Tarantino on TV
20 December 2019
I have seen this movie back when it was released. I remember being entertained, but not impressed. Over the years some images have stick into the mind, but what this movie is about has completely faded. So, thanks to NetFlix, I said to myself: why not burn two hours and see that story with a fresh eye.

The movie is entertaining and, thanks of it unmemorable story, I kept watching to see what next. Overall, a good description would be "a Tarantino script at the second or third draft". Way too many pointless characters that would make sense in a TV series script to help with the second, third and fourth season. And that is it, after all Jesus seems have had its own spin-off.

The acting is good, and the characters are interesting, but there is not much character development. Actually there is none at all.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Difficult to rate
19 December 2019
Difficult to rate. This is quite something: compressing a true story into a short movie. When most shorts are made like a music video or soda ad, this is a story. On the other hand, Pixar does that, so it's not such a great feat. To complicate things more I don't care much about the couple, so probably when compacting the story the writer left out some relevant pieces too.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
The Mandalorian (2019– )
A very pleasant story
11 December 2019
A very pleasant story. Probably one of the best in the Star Wars universe. And it's impressive how they could integrate so many elements from A New Hope without making a rehash. And even the characters are quite good. Not as good as some of the better series of NetFlix, but very good compared with what mainstream TV still produces.

Sadly, they never polished the product and the special effects team is the best by far. The direction is okay, but with many cheap drama. For example in the 4th episode, probably the worst of the first four, the Mandalorian knows he's in a peaceful village, there is nothing threatening, yet he jumps when a kid sneaks in. Is he a bounty hunter or a domestic abuse victim?

The script is even worse than the direction once you stop going with the flow. I mean the guy has levitation devices, yet he can't have some perimeter sensor to know that many individuals are about to jump him? Smart droids and no smart phone app to tell you that somebody is robbing your ship and you might be stuck in the middle of nowhere?

And what's with all the deus ex machina? The hero is cornered, but here's the entire Eastern Front Army to the rescue! He might be eaten alive by a herbivore, but a farmer just happens to be near and saves him?

And the choreography is cute as long as you keep it shallow. But the guy has a fancy new armor that can take a cannon shot, yet he will get beaten like dressed in a flannel shirt. And the armor is magical, probably as negative weight, as thugs will keep throwing him as he's in his bathing suit.

Enter the populist junk: the village that lives in perfect harmony with themselves and with the nature. The clothes are industrially made, clean, too clean for some people working all day in the field. The population of the isolated village is Asian, after all Disney strives for diversity, but the actors are from all over Asia, not just one area, a bit too much genetic diversity. And the villagers are happy, although they are under constant threat from the robbers. And the robbers don't seem to do much over the year, but rob this village.

So, yea, a nice story, but don't think about it or it will prove just another Hollywood piece.
2 out of 9 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Dope (II) (2017– )
The lowest of the scum
6 December 2019
The people involved with making this documentary (and not the people featured) are the lowest of the scum. Just reinforcing the stereotypes and riding the suffering of others for their own material gain. The only consequence would be a mob asking for more violence and more arrests.
0 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Master of None (2015– )
Meh
6 December 2019
This is intended to be some sort of the satire of the world the exact people doing the show are building. It's not even ironic. Just stupid. A shout of "look ma, I'm better than the others doing exactly the same thing".
0 out of 6 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
A Reality TV style ad
30 November 2019
This is simply an one hour ad. How can you make it watchable? Make it Reality TV like. Which probably pleased the Blizzard bosses even more: look how popular we can be? And the people in the footage are the people who went to watch this too: see, mom, I'm on the big screen!
0 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Arsenio Hall: Smart and Classy (2019 TV Special)
Amazing: he was mistaken for Wesley Snipes!
24 November 2019
Amazing: he was mistaken for Wesley Snipes! The drama and the comic of an old has been. I wonder why that never happened to anyone before.
0 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
I have watched it for the archive footage
24 November 2019
I have watched it for the archive footage. The rest is pretty useless. Nobodies competing to have the most spectacular superlative for yet another of White Man's expensive games.
0 out of 11 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
This film manages to get every angle wrong
24 November 2019
So it's in Turkey.

1. Nothing about Turkey.

So probably it is not about Turkey

2. Nothing about the US generated Drug War.

So probably it is not about why the guy is in a Turkish prison

3. Nothing about the Turks in prison.

So it's not about the prison system, only about the White boy

4. Who is the White boy?

So it's not about him.

What is this movie about? About feeling bad for the White race? And about pointing the finger at the filial duty to the Father and Country. After all the White boy seems to have wasted his opotunity to die in Vietnam or some other place.
0 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Interesting idea, bad execution
24 November 2019
I have no idea how the manga goes. And I don't seem to have access to a translated version so this show will have to do.

The idea is interesting. But the overall atmosphere is of governmental TV, in the late 70s, early 80s. And the acting is on a par with the passionate village association theater troupe.
0 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
I hated the pun title
24 November 2019
Amateurish.

The pun title spells it out, so there are no surprises. I watched it because I wanted to see the story. But there is no story. Only some footage gathered in a few vignettes. Is she fighting the system? Maybe in another documentary. For the time being she is fighting Russian women somewhere in Asia.
0 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
We Are the Wave (2019– )
German smarts
23 November 2019
Like most German movies, somebody has to tell them what to do. So the guards are there and nobody is let up on the podium, yet the precious speaker can go visibly disturbed all alone and remains all alone so people with masks can get him. And that fades to let in something about social media being evil for the young minds. That should be enough for me.
0 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Daybreak (2019)
Nice premises, idiotic dialogue
23 November 2019
The idea is cute, although unoriginal. The dialogue is on a par with the Star Wars prequels. Atrocious. And overall, nothing to see, the stupidity and lack of creativity sold as "satire".
0 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
One of these 5 movies could have been cute
20 November 2019
In two hours you get some sort of hair conditioner 5 in 1: * a stereotype love story * an attempted coming of age story * a dull war movie * a government propaganda movie * an army recruitment movie * traces of something else, hard to describe

The good part is that one knows from the first minutes that propaganda is the main priority. Enter the evil Muslim Woman hiding a big grenade. By the way she hides it, it is the very one received by her great-great-grandmother as a wedding gift and kept in the family in case the Americans invade the Ottoman Empire. She is giving it in public in an area with sniper activity, because she knows she will be violently beaten by her abusive Muslim husband for giving away the family jewels. And we all know domestic abuse is a Muslim thing.

Son of Sam is the Devil incarnate. This guy is troubled by his job.
1 out of 11 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
The usual European script: boring
24 October 2019
The story would not be boring. But somehow the schooling makes Europeans unable to make a script longer than 20, seldom 30 minutes. Than they fluff up with long shots and meaningless empty expressions or empty rooms to have something to explain the National Commission this is a 90 minute feature. Here, the production team had some relative in the Commission and they got taxpayer money for over 120 minutes.

Overall, again, European stereotype. Some sex. But only the bare minimum to scare the most pure of Catholics, The characters are barely sketched and the target audience will fill up the gaps with stock data from the 21st European folklore.
10 out of 68 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Our Godfather (2019)
A mess
22 October 2019
This documentary is a mess. The producers had nothing and probably have run our of money so they had to push something to the market.

Who is "our"? The family. But there is a lot, more than half, about things that don't belong to the family life. And it's about the second family anyway, as the first family is barely mentioned.

Is it about the trials? But which ones?

Overall it's a long series of pointless interviews with people who have met Tommaso Buscetta and agreed to appear on camera.
4 out of 18 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Living Undocumented (2019– )
Another deceitful documentary
8 October 2019
The goal is not the abuse of the system, but propping up the system, only not with "them", but with "us, the enlightened". This is an exploitation piece: make some money off the fallen, maybe do some cosmetic changes to the machine.
4 out of 12 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Tall Girl (2019)
Painful
8 October 2019
I was expecting a movie about a tall girl. I got yet another bash of the popular girls. And maybe they are as ridiculous as they are portrayed in this movie. But it has been done so often, why would anyone want to do the same with the only difference: a tall actress?
1 out of 6 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
There wasn't enough material for a feature film
5 October 2019
There wasn't enough material for a feature film. So there are pauses all over the action to show you meaningful grass movement or the character slowly zooming out. The end is flat and overall the second part is quite disappointing.
13 out of 31 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Nice, but not much
4 October 2019
The animation is good. The designs are mostly very good. The stories are idiotic at best.
1 out of 9 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
It sounded nice
4 October 2019
It sounded nice. And I was very curious about what these celebrities are doing. But the show is so so slow, and the acts are so boring, it makes Hoarders look like The Fast and The Furious.
2 out of 6 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
An error has occured. Please try again.

Recently Viewed