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The Debt Collector 2 (2020)
New Lows in Cinema
This seems like the exact same movie as The Debt Collector (singular) from 2018. I can't believe that anyone, not even the director's mother, would be interested in seeing two of these films.
Starts off with a very poorly-choreographed bar fight scene between a British guy and a bunch of brain-dead American hicks (although I don't think the hick who spoke was American). Why is there a bar fight? There is no reason at all because the writers were in too much of a hurry to throw viewers into the poorly-choreographed bar fight to bother with any sort of explanation. Bar fights are just things that happen every ten minutes in American dives.
Getting over on moronic Yanks must be the ultimate British fantasy, and something they spend way too much time considering, whether it's a bar fight or an intellectual argument (in this case, it's both). I have seen countless examples in British movies and TV of people describing Americans as fat and stupid, as if every Brit were a genius bodybuilder. But let's move forward and try to forget the first scene.
The accent on the Sue character (he's Australian) was just horrible. What was that? A stroke victim from the Isle of Man? A Polish guy impersonating Joe Pesci? His accent is like when someone has a bit of food on their face and you can't stop looking at it. Every time he opens his mouth, I was scratching my head trying to come up with possible sources of the accent. And speaking of food on the face, Americans don't eat like he does with the fork tines pointing down-nitpicky, I know, but still. Even the way he eats is a dig at Americans when he pours a load of ketchup on his plate. Are Brits going to lecture us on cuisine now?
Fast-forward to as bad a shootout scene as has evern been captured on film. Curtain.
The Half of It (2020)
Maybe College Will Straighen Ellie Out?
Since when do affluent white boys get married in high school? Was that 1920 or 2020? 1820? That whole marriage angle was so completely incongruent with the rest of the narrative.
The Cyrano idea fell flat on its face almost from the very start. The boy was too stupid and the girl wasn't very convincing as the object of his affection. Ellie Chu was cute for a while and the film began with promise but quickly devolved into a not-at-all-funny farce. What was supposed to be very witty banter between that love-struck Ellie and the figment of her romantic imagination was never very clever, and not entertaining in the least.
The big scene at the end in the church was just poorly executed. Poor writing, unconvincing dialogue, and, once again, not entertaining in the least. If all heterosexual men were as dorky and clueless and those in this movie, god help humanity. Fortunately, these archetypes mostly exist in the minds of writers with one story to tell.
The Call of the Wild (2007)
An Excellent Contribution to the McCandless Story
I doubt that I'm the only person out here who is incredibly grateful that this film was made. I first read about this story in Jon Krakauer's article in Outside Magazine, sometime back in 1993 (that's 27 years ago!). I've been haunted by it ever since.
This is a remarkably coherent film, which almost seems like a veiled insult, but when you consider he probably had the tiniest of budgets, the film strikes upon many, many salient points in the story. For example, he times things to film the graduation at Emory University, which was sort of the embarkation point for the whole Into the Wild story. He talks with the new graduates who all appear to be super serious and oriented towards goals of most people would term as ambitious. Not a flake in the bunch, no one who wants to light out for the territory.
I can't believe that the book and film Into the Wild didn't know that the kid had $300 in cash and a lot of identification with him at the time of his death. That's a HUGE bit of news I learned from this documentary.
He should have ended the film with his own words instead of the over-used paragraph from Walden:
"Why he didn't walk out, perhaps, is less important in the big scheme of things than why he walked in. The former is fleeting and peripheral, whereas the latter is timeless and profound. It is the idealized McCandless, the seeker, who in the end matters most to me."
The Wrong Missy (2020)
Best Movie I Ever Seen
OMG, LOL. So funny and the romanitiquest movie ever. That one part was too funny, I almost choked to death on my corn dog laughing. Acting so good. Total classic, even better then Joe Dirt. David Spade don't ever make a bad movie but some a them is better than others.
A Rainy Day in New York (2019)
Woody Allen Pastiche
This was embarrassing to watch, at least the little that I made it through before turning it off. It was embarrassing and I was watching it alone during quarantine, a time when my standards drop even lower than normal, yet I was still insulted by this mess. It felt like it was made by Woody Allen's over-privileged step-son who just got out of rehab and then he had a friend proof-read it and look up a few brainy-sounding quotes on Wikipedia.
I just wrote this review to remind myself not to try and watch this again when I've completely forgotten about it in a month. It's very forgettable.
Broken City (2013)
And I don't really have that much intelligence to insult. Yet another film that was obviously written by someone who does nothing but watch movies, probably only really bad movies like this one. A powerful mayor with a hot wife hires a really lousy actor to investigate his wife's infidelity. The lousy actor, played by Mark Wahlberg, almost immediately takes photos that are very close to compromising, bit not really compromising. Why this was so easy to pull off isn't explained because lousy screen writers don't need tp explain anything.
Had the lousy actor/private investigator not been able to produce the not-quite-compromising-but-oh-so-close-to-compromising photos (he had very little time to do this) the story would come apart, not that it holds together even with this incredible suspension of belief.
I turned the movie off at a pivotal scene in which the lousy actor/private detective investigates and blows the whole thing open simply by looking in the trash and peeping in an open window. I wonder how many books and movies would never get off the ground if only people closed their curtains?
Compelling Story Harmed by Poor Direction and Writing
I think that a lot of the negative reviews are probably people who have a problem with the show's politics. Palestinians need to make their own version. I'd watch it, if it were decent.
Things I Didn't Like about Fauda:
In almost every scene with the potential for action (why people tune to this genre instead of family dramas), the director steps all over it and waves it away like a pesky fly. They rush through scenes that should have been well-choreographed. Why? So they have more time to show people screaming at each other?
Their interrogation tactics are the worst I've even seen in movies. The Wire did a million times better at this. The old "just beat it out of them" strategy is an insult to 1950s movies. Physical torture may actually work if you have something that can be confirmed almost immediately, say you need someone's PIN for their ATM card. Few people could resist torture in this situation, no matter what the consequences. However, if the interrogators are asking about someone's whereabouts, something that could take hours or days to verify, any trained operative would just spit out a load of crap. Why would you tell the truth? They did this time after time and it's completely stupid.
In almost every confrontation with the enemy, most of them confrontations that the team instigated, they were woefully outnumbered. The basic principle of warfare is to always have superior firepower. Then there are the really stupid things like failing to cover a back door when raiding a house. Really?
I've seen grease fires with more discipline than this supposed crack anti-terrorist unit. They screw each other and each other's wives (well, wife), they have physical altercations between themselves, they mutiny, and they can't follow simple orders. Some of the infractions deserved jail time.
Things I liked about Fauda:
Had this been made by an America company, it wouldn't have had nothing resembling the authenticity of this show. They would have all used English all the time (the worst is when they have really stupid accents). My Arabic isn't bad, but I can't really judge accents, but I found it interesting that an Israeli show used Arabic much more than Hebrew.
My favorite characters were Captain Ayub and Abu Samara, who were basically two sides of the same coin, both men sort of playing both sides.
Ten Minute Movie Review
In which I watch ten minutes of a truly awful film and write a review.
Just because movies no longer make it to the cinema these days doesn't mean that runtimes should be longer, yet most Netflix films go way over a sensible time limit. There is no way this thing needs to go over 1h30min but clocks in at 1h56min, or in technical terms, too long. It's sort of the flip side of the old joke in which two people are talking about aa restaurant with bad food. "And such small portions," one of them says. We have lousy movies that somehow think they will be better if they go on 20% longer.
Yet another bloody kill-fest of wonton slaughter in which the protagonist seems to be immune to bullets while everyone else around him is a bullet magnet. Does this movie have as many senseless homicides as John Wick? Some other fool who can be bothered to watch all 1h56min of this piece of trash will have to answer than question.
The Last Laugh (2016)
"I don't think it's funny."
If there were stupider words ever written, I'm still looking around to read them. I don't know a lot about anything, but I know that humor is the most subjective subject in human existence. Standards or humor change, they ebb and flow like the tides. Tell a joke to 100 people and if it's a really good joke, only about 30 will laugh, another 20 will shrug their shoulders and chuckle slightly, and the other 50 will scratch their heads in confusion (or be offended, or be indignant, or whatever).
"The thing about a joke about the Holocaust, AIDS, the Aids crisis, 9/11, it's all about the funny. It's got to be funny. You can't tell a crappy joke about the biggest tragedy in the world."
Thank you, Judy Gold. That is absolutely brilliant. Here is one thing coming from me: no one has the right to tell me what I can and can't laugh at, it's like trying to tell me what music to listen to. No amount of tragedy in anyone's life gives them that right. If you think that Family Circus cartoons are funny, I won't get in your way, but don't try to censor things I think are freaking hilarious.
I firmly believe that all those years ago in that beer hall in Munich, if someone had stood up and made fun of Hitler for the ridiculous little creep that he was, the spell would have been broken and people wouldn't have followed him.
I totally didn't recognize LeBeaux from Hogan's Heroes (I didn't know his real name, Robert Clary), and I watched every episode of that show. He's still alive at 94, so take that, Nazi creeps.
"Someone once said, 'Tragedy plus time equals comedy.' I always felt like why wait?" -Gilbert Gottfried
I love Gilbert Gottfried since I can remember, even though he's only a few years older than I.
Of course, there are people who wouldn't find anything humorous about the Holocaust, and there wasn't, of course. This doesn't mean that you can't find humor in it now. There are people who don't find any humor in anything. I'm not one of those people. Humor is like food and water to me. I spend a good part of every day like a hunter-gatherer trying to track down something, anything that will make me laugh.
Why does the daughter of a survivor enter so prominently in this film? Her mother doesn't need a translator. I certainly don't care to hear about things that she finds funny or not funny.
The old woman who couldn't enjoy a fake gondola ride in Las Vegas was a total buzz-kill. Of course, no one should be forced to ride in a fake gondola in Las Vegas. Las Vegas is just a horrible place and no one should be forced to go there against their will. Haven't they suffered enough? What has kept that woman alive all of these years when even something as completely innocuous as the song Volare reminds her of the death camps? Lighten the hell up! It reminds me of the old gag from The Onion" That's not funny; my brother died that way.
You don't have to be a Holocaust survivor to understand that life is basically tragic. We all die. Everyone. And then it's over. You can kid yourself with your religion, but that will only last until your heart stops beating. Laugh a little, pray less.
There is some guy from the Anti-Defamation League, Abraham Foxman, who obviously has nothing approaching a sense of humor, and that's OK because that isn't his job. He criticizes a bit from the movie Borat.
"Sacha Baron Cohen says, 'I am exposing, I am airing prejudice.' The only problem is, that the people that are laughing aren't laughing at the prejudice they're applauding the prejudice!"
Whether or not you think the bit is funny is something that is your business, and perhaps toothless hicks are applauding at the prejudice exposed in the skit, but the people who watch Sacha Baron Cohen are definitely laughing at the utter stupidity of the prejudice and how easily the racists are manipulated into exposing their own racism. He takes a moronic country ballad and in a couple of verses, he turns it into people singing along for genocide without questioning their own mindless hate. First of all, the hicks portrayed in the film have probably never even seen a Jew before. Then there is the fact that none of those hillbillies are laughing. They are actually taking this preposterous song at face value, and that is funny, at least to me.
Only moments earlier, the same guy said, "How you do it makes a difference. If you do it with care, with love, with respect, it's more acceptable, it's not comfortable, but it's more acceptable."
If you want your rumor only served out in acceptable and comfortable doses, please stick to Family Circus cartoons, just don't tell me what I can or can't find funny.
Mel Brooks and Gilbert Gottfried attacking the film, Life is Beautiful, was more irony than I thought I could bear. I would never defend the film by itself, but I would certainly defend someone's right to make the movie.
Miles Davis: An Education in Jazz
"When God punished you, it's not that you don't get what you want. You get everything you want and there's no time left."
Listeners got a lot of Miles Davis, and the world is better for it, but it's sad to think how much more we could have received from this golden goose of jazz music. I grew up hearing about Miles Davis, but I just wasn't cool enough in my youth to know his music. I had grown up listening to rock: The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, (I still can't spell that stupid name, and all rock had stupid names) and many others. This new music had almost completely usurped jazz by the time I came on the scene. It wasn't really until I felt that rock had completely run its course in about 1989 that I focused on jazz as a listener.
From the very beginning of my education in jazz, it was impossible not to hear Miles Davis, if not the trumpeter himself, then his vast influence on the jazz world since the time he started recording. I'm sure lots of casual listeners of jazz have wondered what it is about the trumpet that sets it so predominantly on center stage, although not nearly as center as the guitar in rock. I heard the best explanation for this from one of the world's preeminent masters of the instrument, Wynton Marsalis.
Someone asked Branford Marsalis why he chose to play the saxophone, and he said it was because sax players attracted the women. When his brother was asked the same question about why he plays the trumpet, Wynton answered, "Because it's the loudest instrument in the band." Miles was the proverbial squeaky wheel, and that's just how he always wanted it.
Miles was incarnated in the from of Wynton Marsalis who never has seemed to suffer from the demons Miles fought with over the course of his life. Unfortunately, Miles seems to have pushed jazz to its limit, like a country that has ultimately defined its borders. There is still always room for excellence in playing, but I don't know it there is any place else to go after a century of exploring. For me, rock & roll hit this wall in the late 1980s. It had done all it could do and started to repeat itself. This isn't to say that there still wasn't a lot of great music to be played, there just seemed to be not much in the way of innovation.
Bad Boys for Life (2020)
Impossible to Make this Worse
There is literally nothing they could have done to make this a worse movie than it is. Monkeys riding pigs who come to save the day? That would have been a slight improvement. It's like they gave the $90 million budget to e group of not-very-bright ten year old boys and asked them to come up with an action movie. They just string together and absurd number of chases scenes, shoot-outs, fist-fights, more chase scenes, and some sex and you have a movie.
$90 million to make this load of steaming offal. Unbelievably stupid.
Road to Perdition (2002)
Never Work with Kids or Animals (or comic books)
What do you expect when you base a film on a graphic novel (AKA comics)?
There is the exposition, the set-up, which is too long and simply a means to give Paul Newman and opportunity to stretch his legs.
Jude Law is the vicious psychopath on Hank's trail. Look at those dead eyes, and don't forget to throw in a heaping helping of gratuitous violence to show just how much of a psychopath he is because there is no other way to do that, I write sarcastically. Seriously, is there no other way to paint the picture of the villain than a string of senseless killings? Why not just have him smash a puppy with a shovel? Oh yeah, mustn't hurt god's creatures.
Here is my little game. Imagine every time someone is murdered in a movie, like the hundreds of deaths in a real piece of garbage like John Wick, imagine that instead of a human being shot dead, the protagonist kills a dog. Imagine the public outcry against such a monster.
Technically brilliant, but the story is to say that the story is third-rate trite, and cliché is doing a disservice to the definition of 'cliché'.
Most egregious example of a cliché:
The case of the undead dead. Hank's character puts down the assassin (Jude Law) in the hotel room, but never bothers to check to see if he is dead. It's not like this is the first person he has ever shot, so you have to think that he would know better. The shoot-out scene was stupid, as well. They are standing about three meters from each other and have to exchange a several rounds each.
Bloodbath and then surprise, surprise, vicious creep returns.
I like the little bit about the kid returning to the childless couple. It looked beautiful, as does the entire film. Technically impeccable, artistically bankrupt as the bank accounts Hanks cleaned out.
Soldados de Salamina (2003)
Better than the Novel
David Trueba makes a lot more sense of the novel than did Javier Cercas when he wrote it. The novel is like an endless loop of the author telling the story of how the fascist Rafael Sánchez-Mazas escaped execution. In the novel, this brief historical episode is repeated endlessly, to the point of it being maddeningly repetitive. The film spares us this repetition just as the fascist's life was spared.
The pity was that the fascist Rafael Sánchez-Mazas didn't die in a firing squad. The typical path of cowards is to foment war and then conveniently side-step and actual combat. Dick Cheney, Donald Trump, George Bush are only a few modern examples.
The movie, like the book, chronicles a reporter's investigation into how the above-mention fascist escaped a firing squad in the waning days of the Spanish Civil War, and the story about how a Republican soldier spared his life when he was discovered in the woods near the site of the failed execution. Why did the soldier not kill or capture the fascist? I don't find that a particularly interesting question, certainly not enough for a novel, bit almost enough for a decent film.
The Elephant in the Room: Religion
It seems that every review I have read tiptoes around the big issue here: religion, Religion is poison. Some religions are more toxic than others, but they are all poison. This creepy cult seems particularly noxious.
Yet another story proving that religion is creepy and stupid. We all need to run from it, like the woman in this film. My escape from religion wasn't as harrowing as this, and I did it immediately upon being conscious of the ridiculous beliefs being foisted upon me. I was five years old when I realized I didn't believe a freaking word of it.
Just walk away from it. If you can't walk, run.
The series gives viewers and incredible view into the world of ultra-orthodox Jews living in New York, who may as well be living in 15th century Europe which seems to be the last time they allowed anything new into their culture. It's like an anthropology exploration, both fascinating and terrifying at the same time.
Before anyone criticizes me for writing this, I ask that you remember one important concept: in modern, Western society, we must tolerate the religious beliefs of others, but this doesn't mean we have to respect them. I don't respect yours or anyone's religious beliefs, and some I find more repugnant and harmful than others.
10 Minute Review: Stick with the Trailer and Move On
Another movie that I turned off after ten minutes. Man, really lousy movies can be time savers. Over-the-top and stupid violence. They shoot a guy I the chest using a .50cal sniper rifle. The shooter is only about 50 meters away, if that. He could have hit his target with a spear. The .50cal would have tor e a hole in his chest on the way out as big as a basketball, but they needed several more shots to put him away.
I just want to make sure that I don't check this out again in the future. I've already wasted ten minutes on it.
Richard Jewell (2019)
Much, Much Better than Expected
I would have never watched this movie had I not been so bored that I thought I was going to faint. On account of being in lock-down because of the virus. I noticed that the TV series Manhunt was also featuring this story. This movie wasn't anything like I was expecting, at least politically speaking. I thought Eastwood was going to put most of the blame down on the press for screwing this up as badly as it was. Instead, he blamed the FBI for being way too eager to pin the case on such a hapless tub of guts.
It's not as if the press didn't have a lot to answer for regarding this case as well as many others, but it was the FBI who turned justice on its ear with Jewell (who died of heart disease at 44).
The Mechanic (2011)
First Ten Minutes of The Mechanic Review
Bad movies can be real time savers because watching only ten minutes is often more than enough.
You can't judge a book by the cover, but you can judge a movie by the trailer. If it has more than one explosion, it's rubbish.
The first bit shows you the utter lack of imagination of the writers, or how they are dumbing things down for the slow kids. A rich gangster, he must be a drug lord because he has a private jet and a convoy to escort him to his palace. Along the way, just so that you know how evil he is, his men beat a peasant for blocking the path. Drug lord goes for a swim in his indoor pool with an armed guard above. Is he swimming in oil? Neither the drug lord or his guard can see Mechanic waiting for him in the pool. Mechanic wears a wetsuit? In a pool? He isn't wearing a weight belt so how does he stay underwater? Dresses up as a cook, as if there are so many staff members at the palace that no one will notice the tall, new white guy. Jumps from a really high bridge into a river. This is when the wetsuit would come in handy. At least this bit of silliness didn't take long.
Mechanic has pet old dude he feeds cheap liquor. Doubtful old dude will live until closing credits. Girl, of course. Not so much a character, just a body. Mucho sexo, then TV, pays and leaves.
Must kill friend in wheelchair. Kills cripple. Mechanic sad. Cripple's son beats up black man. Trains cripple's son to be killer.
Eveything in this review was in the trailer. Just watch that and call it a night.
Wow! I Couldn't Wait to Turn this Off
Annoying people being annoying as they talk about their ridiculous lives. White people problems is usually a bit of pop culture verbiage that I avoid, but when the shoe fits, throw it forcefully at the TV OFF button.
I can't believe that anyone really enjoyed this movie and only claimed they did because they think this is deep or intellectual or something because it's four people yapping (and yakking) in a room.
Easy A (2010)
Socially Distance Yourself from this Virus of a Movie
Yet another terrible movie that I should have never watched, but in lock-down I seem to have lost all sense of taste. Wait, losing your sense of taste is one of the symptoms of the virus. Wait, I hated this movie, so I think my sense of taste is still intact, which is more than I can say for all of the infected souls who liked this waste of a movie.
Why do they make high school movies with adults in their 20s? It's not like they are choosing these people for their acting abilities, so why not just use younger kids who are actually high school age-appropriate?
American Ultra (2015)
TSTCW = Too Stupid to Continue Watching
Killing and murder are so fun and campy, just like a ride in an amusement park, but not a good amusement park, but one of those sad little ones that set up on the outskirts of small towns and have scary people that run them, folks who are probably on parole or have warrants out for them. That kind of fun
This may have made for a decent film, but not in this moronic cartoon version. Imagine this story without the way-over-the-top violence-if you are able-and it could have been something worthy of an adult audience. It could have been cool. Instead, it was completely stupid at almost every turn.
Since it has an R rating, I'm assuming that the target audience isn't 12-year-old boys, that seems to be the age of the writer. Why do I think that the writer is 12? Because he thinks that if you one bullet, that is action, so if you shoot a few hundred bullets it's more action, action-packed. He doesn't seem to realize that the objective with shooting bullets is to hit people with the bullets. In several scenes people are shooting lots and lots of bullets without really trying to shoot anyone.
Once again, you get the feeling that the writer has done nothing in life except watch movies and has no experience to draw on for creativity except crap from other movies. Bourne Identity mixed with every idiotic, post Tarantino shoot'em up.
Not as Good as the Sum of Its Parts
First of all, if these kids are so clever, how do they manage to get her knocked-up from a one-time fling? Weren't they paying attention in sex ed? The boy is supposed to be some sort of science geek yet he doesn't understand the consequences of ejaculating inside of his BFF?
Secondly, she doesn't get an abortion because she didn't like the magazines in the clinic (among other, petty complaints)? Buck up and have the procedure. Just because you have a kid and then hand it over to someone else to raise, doesn't mean you've done the world or anyone any favors. The kid will always wonder why you abandoned them. No aborted fetus ever did that.
As I said in the title, while I liked many parts of the movie, the message was sort of creepy an irresponsible.
The Gentlemen (2019)
Affected Accents Are Almost Always Annoying And Asinine
Why does everyone speak with a funny voice in this? The worst accent goes to Matthew McConaughey who I assume was going for Little Lord Fauntleroy or Oliver Twist in a grade school drama production. His wife, the cockney mob moll, was way too much of a cliché. I blame the director for all of these annoyances because it's his film.
He was going for stylish and campy, but it was cartoonish and unconvincing. His use of timeline irregularities was also annoying; the whole unreliable narration thing has been over-done to death.
I was never convinced of the protagonist was capable of ruling over a pot empire, and how he built it wasn't realistic in the least. If you think about his grand plan for even a second, it makes zero sense.
There sure was a lot of blood, blood everywhere. He must have bought fake blood in fifty gallon drums.
The Way Back (2020)
This Review is Based on a True Story
Jeff Cunningham was a star basketball player in high school. Since then, he's separated from his wife and learned how to drink a lot of beer. Things seem to be really going his way until he is tapped to be the coach for his old high school. Will coaching basketball ruin his career as a budding alcoholic? What do you think?
If you are waiting for anything resembling originality or perhaps even the slightest detour from the most predictable scenario imaginable, you should bring a book along because the wait will be long than this film's one hour and forty-eight-minute runtime. There just wasn't time for anything but stapling together a bunch of tired clichés, things like marital separations, personal tragedy, drinking games, the healing power of competitive sports, and a lovable mentally-handicapped kid who keeps doing obscene things with the ball.
All you need is a little bit of grit, hard work, and determination and you can do anything, right? Bring back the dead, even. Or maybe not. Think about it, as a kid he was a bigshot basketball player and now he's a complete piece of horse manure, a foul-mouthed drunk who does nothing but pour booze into his body and stumble home every night. It's not like sports did him any good. This whole mythology about the supposed transformative power of winning is a huge load of crap.
What we should be teaching kids is that everyone has the right to participate, not just the lucky few who have the talent. No wonder America has an enormous problem with obesity. We teach our kids that only the top athletes get to play and everyone else has to worship them from the bleachers. In competition, almost everyone loses. Is that what we want to teach kids? How to be losers? Because they can't all win, but the good news is they don't have to win, they just have to play. The fat kids, the dorks, the talentless slobs just need to play, and play for they rest of their lives.
I guarantee that I'm in better physical condition than probably 98% of the jocks in my old high school. Why? Because I play, I got out there every day and did something. I didn't compete with anyone but myself. Where is that movie?
"I can't accept responsibility for allowing you being around the boys anymore...We have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to alcohol." This was said by a Catholic priest. Freaking priceless. I'd rate this lower but Affleck was good. Then ending was particularly awful.
Very Poor Direction, Lousy Story
The pivotal scene in the very first episode makes no sense. Her bodyguard is beaten and thrown in the trunk while three other attackers enter the caravan. Why would they drive him somewhere else just to shoot him? Then one of her attackers escapes, but this wasn't shown. The bodyguard is thrown in the trunk of his car, for some stupid reason, and shot three time. They his assailant fired three more rounds into the air. Why? This was a miserable bit of direction.
There was absolutely no tension in this scene. They show the bodyguard sitting in his car charging his pistol a couple of times and then is surprised by his attackers making him terrible at his job. The scene in the caravan was completely stupid and hackneyed. She just seems to pull a pistol out of thin air, then hesitates before firing when one of them had a shotgun pointed at her.
This was one of the worst action sequences that I've ever seen in a film.
Little Big League (1994)
Rated 9 But I'd Give it a 10 if I Were 12
Baseball movies are better than those for any other sport. Period. End of argument. Perhaps I will go into more detail to explain exactly why this is, but not in this review. Of course, this was thoroughly predictable, but there were enough surprises and highlights to make it thoroughly enjoyable, sort if like a baseball game.
It was cool to see the old Mariners. I moved there in 1998 and I was a Marlins fan before that.
If you are looking for something that is funny and sweet, you could do a lot worse than Little Big League. I wish that I had seen it when I was ten instead of 61, but better late.