ddd3's Reviews

Press Gang (1989–1993)

Children's TV programme that made the transition...

23 January 2006

Let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time an old guy had an idea for a TV series. So he submitted it. Even though it was his very first idea it was picked up, at which point the old guy, remembering his son who was just about to follow him into a teaching career had expressed a desire to write for TV, says that they can only use the idea if his son gets to write an episode. Instead of binning him off immediately they decide to give him a shot and the son submits a script. It's amazing, and he subsequently gets to write the entire series and goes on to marry the programme's producer and write full time for TV. Sounds too good to be true? Welcome to Press Gang, the show that just got lucky.

In addition to breaking one of the best new writers of the age, the show also had two young stars whose chemistry could melt your TV. It couldn't fail except... it was doomed to be a kid's TV show shown at kid's TV show times, and there it might have remained had it not been for a programme planner on a rival network who purchased the show for adult viewing.

There are more original ideas in any one season of Press Gang than you'll find in an entire network season these days. Hey, there's probably more than all the networks put together. Any impartial critique is almost impossible because there's just nothing to compare this show with. There'd been nothing like it before, and there's been nothing like it since, so all I can say is, if you've never heard of it but you like a good ensemble laugh-fest with an occasional serious edge to it, chance your arm and try a season of this show. I'm confident you'll be right out there buying the other 4 seasons within a day.

Believe me, or check my other reviews, it's unusual for me to get this enthusiastic about anything, let alone a TV show, but what else can I say? It really is that good.

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Cube (1997)

6/10

Brilliant concept but... (Spoilers 2nd para)

7 January 2006

Warning: Spoilers

Definitely a budget release, set in a series of identical cubic rooms identified only by a series of numbers and the colour of the lighting, the set budget must have been one of the lowest of all time, but it works. The feeling of claustrophobia engendered by the seemingly endless series of cubes becomes quite palpable. There are, of course, traps to be avoided, or the film would have become very boring very quickly, and the idea is that all the characters need to combine their skills in order to find their way out. The idea is unusual and bursts with promise (If you can endure the characters occasionally becoming uncharacteristically verbose), then it begins to unravel...

It won't be long before the word 'Rubic's' springs to mind. Certainly you'll catch on much faster than the characters involved, and since the idea is that the characters should assist one another you are soon left wondering what skill the very first victim of the cube might have had, since he dies before meeting any of the other participants, and although it isn't stipulated how long the survivors slept for, it seems unlikely that they were in the cube for more than maybe a day, so why, having reached the exit, does one of them panic because he's suddenly scared of the outside and wants to remain where he feels safe? (Safe? With no food or water?... Duh.). Since no tools or weapons were allowed in the cube, where does the crazy cop suddenly get his spike from? If the entrances make so much noise, how does he sneak in to a cube without anyone noticing? and how does he get the young girl out? Then there's the ending...

It's really a little depressing that such an involving and well thought out movie can be spoilt by a mind-bendingly idiotic conclusion, but unfortunately that's it. If you switch off when the designer-guy starts to panic at the exit and make up your own ending, you'll enjoy it SO much more...

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The Beiderbecke Tapes (1987– )

10/10

A very British adventure (Except for the jazz...)

17 March 2005

This, the 2nd in the 'Beiderbecke' trilogy, frequently seems to get squeezed out between the 'Affair' and the 'Connection' (Even the 'TV shows on DVD' site doesn't seem to know it exists), which is odd because this is in every way as good as its predecessor and its successor.

The plot is so simple that it's almost non-existent. Trev comes into possession of some tapes that don't contain jazz, and the secret service become interested. If you've seen either of the other two in the series you'll know just where this is going. Laughs and bewilderment abound, and I actually didn't work out what was going on until almost the end, by which time I had a slight inkling, but no more.

Unfortunately, for reasons unknown, Big Al and Little Norm had to be replaced by other characters, but even so, the show is worth watching just for the scene at the end of part one where the secret service man is checking Trev's tapes...

I normally steer clear of words like 'Sublime', but in this case, if you accept the definition 'inspiring awe; "well-meaning ineptitude that rises to empyreal absurdity" (M.S.Dworkin)' then, just this once, I'm going to use it.

It qualifies, dammit.

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Dan Dare: Pilot of the Future (2002)

The little known story of England's conquest of space circa 1950

16 March 2005

A CGI version of the 'Eagle' comic character played almost completely straight. Prof. Peabody is now a master of martial arts with big boobies, Digby is no longer quite as circular, and Dan himself looks somewhat less of the English city gent, but basically this is a visual comic, faithful to the original Frank Hampson classic, and all the better for it. Lines like "There's nothing for it, we'll have to land on the surface of the sun!" (Which turns out to have breathable air and be not quite as hot as its atmosphere) are delivered with total conviction and make for a slightly camp mixture of thrills and laughs.

When originally shown on Britain's Channel 5 the series was repeated twice in very short order as word spread and new viewers demanded to see the earlier episodes they'd missed.

The music over the closing credits was provided by Elton John.

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Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)

6/10

CGI dates badly....

21 June 2004

...and that's why I'm adding a review after all this time. It's

ironic, but when this film was last shown on TV there were video game

ads shown in the breaks. Some of those games have better CGI than 'The

Spirits Within'. The film itself is a likable SF romp that would have a nice twist if

only the title didn't hint at it, and which would be enjoyable despite

that if only they hadn't made such a giant dog's dinner out of the big

finish. Most stories have a natural ending point, this one exceeds it

by several hours (You need to understand the theory of relativity to

understand that last remark...). Once I would have recommended it, but neither the story, nor the CGI,

have withstood the test of time. Go and play the latest manifestation

of the videogame. I'm betting that both the story and the CGI be

better than this.

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Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979)

9/10

It's a cartoon, and it's screamingly funny.

21 June 2004

Who needs a thousand words? It's all summed up in that heading.

Excellent story, excellent artwork, well defined characters, and

several laughs a minute. I would end the review here but I have to

contribute a minimum of 10 lines. It seems a little crazy. You're

wasting time reading this when you could be watching the movie, and I'm

wasting time writing it when I could be watching it again. It's like

this... If you like to laugh, this film will make you laugh.

A lot. Laughter is good for you. See it. Now.

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Turbulence (1997)

Your life is too short...

20 June 2004

Don't watch this film. It will plant the idea that flight crew really

might be this stupid in your mind and make you afraid to fly. This is

one of those movies where no-one does anything sensible, from the

pilot, who, knowing that there are two violent criminals on board his

'plane, hears gunshots and goes out to see what's happening, to the

stewardess who's locked herself in the cabin because she KNOWS what's

going on, and then comes out because the bad guy tells her that her

friend is asking for her, despite the trifling fact that the cops, the

FBI, and the ground crew have all told her that her friend is probably

already dead, and they need her in the cabin to monitor what the

'plane's doing or everyone will be dead anyway.

You will, however, be pleased to learn that, after being set alight,

flying into a casino and a parking garage, having a truck wedged on its

undercarriage, and being fired at by a fighter plane (Not to mention

the scene, right out of 'Airplane', where the 'plane flies upside down

for a while, entirely of its own volition...), the aeroplane itself

emerges unscathed.

This isn't so bad that it's good, it's so bad that it should have been

strangled at birth, and I'm a pacifist by nature.

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Fantasy Mission Force (1983)

The first kung-fun movie that my mother has enjoyed!

3 April 2004

It seems like a lifetime ago that I used to go around car boot sales looking for interesting 'stuff'. Kung-fu movies were always a real find. Often they were obvious boots, this one looks like a boot, but appears to be an original. Some guy called Jacky Chan appears in it according to the label.

Now a whole lot of early 'kung-fu' films were really weird, but nothing I had seen before could ever have prepared me for this! There are 37 other reviews here that explain the intricacies of the non-existent plot so I shan't bother (Actually it's not so much non-existent as existing in a whole other dimension), suffice to say, if you are ever attacked by a kung-fu Amazon, this is the film that shows you the ONLY way in which she can be defeated! If you like martial arts movies, don't rush out for this one just yet. Did you enjoy 'Kung fu - Headcrusher'? You're on your way. Do you like The Prisoner, Stalker (Andrei Tarkovsky), The Strange World of Gurney Slade, and No Soap Radio? Then there's hope for you. How about pre-Python weirdness like Twice a fortnight?

Then, my child, you are ready.

Insert media, open mind, watch and enjoy... And welcome to the world of the more-than-normal.

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Night of the Comet (1984)

8/10

Entertaining hybrid movie

2 May 2003

Using my personal 'Oh no. Don't do that!' scale this film rates pretty well. Obviously conceived as a lowest-common-denominator horror/SF/post-apocalypse/look-at-the-cute-girls movie, and loosely based upon 'The Day of the Triffids', it somehow manages to rise above its station. If you're not a compulsive inconsistency finder, this is a harmless and satisfying way of spending an hour and a half.

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