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Paranormal Activity (2007)
The scariest film I've ever seen.
Ok it does depend on what scares you. But who ISN'T scared of an unseen force dragging you out of your own bed in the night?!
Not a good one to watch at home as a group with people chatting through it - you do have to get absorbed in it; which I was, even in a packed cinema. The handheld footage just made it way to real, and the clincher: it's not like these people could just leave their house to get away from the evil, because it isn't a ghost, it's a demon that's been following the girl around since she was little. So there's no escape - you're not safe in your own home, and you can't get away. I actually had to sleep with the lights on, and I was fairly ok with watching The Exorcist by myself as a teenager.
Just kidding. But really not that bad.
I also only gave a 10 to help up the rating, cuz this movie deserves more than 4.9. An easy 6/10 I'd say and that's what I was expecting when I logged onto IMDb after watching it. I liked the characters well enough: I find most child actors deeply annoying but this kid was genuinely quite sweet and a good actor. The mum was good! Her descent into sleep deprived insanity was convincing: true insomnia really IS that bad. The ending did kind of suck. No catharsis whatsoever, I rolled my eyes at the same time as the credits. But, it made me put my phone down for a bit and not many shows do that these days.
Splash, Too (1988)
A very, very bad sequel.
Like most people writing a review on this, I'm a big fan of the original movie. I saw Splash Too a couple of years after it came out and watched it repeatedly because, you know - mermaids! But even as a 10 year old I was fully aware that as sequels go, this was right up there with the worst. As another reviewer succinctly put it: when hardly any of the original cast or crew want anything to do with a sequel, take the hint. That is a bad omen.
The replacement actors were not good, but to be fair on them I think Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah themselves would have struggled with such a terrible script and direction. Rescuing the dolphin could have been a good plot if it hadn't been handled so feebly and cringely. That sums the whole sorry affair up really - cringe, cringe, cringe. I've given a generous 4 thanks to nostalgia and the fact that Amy Yasbeck was ok as a mermaid all the time she was underwater and therefore not delivering any cringey lines of nonsense.
30 Days of Night (2007)
Not a vampire movie
The thing about vampires is that they're human monsters. The human part of them is what makes them more creepy, and attractive. I agree with a previous comment - these are more like fast moving zombies than vampires. They certainly devoured people more like zombies than vampires. The vampires in this film were just monsters, and not particularly scary either - they were a bit creepy, but their screeches were annoying and over-used. The made-up language wasn't the best idea either - what, you learn a new language when you get turned? Hm.
The human characters were pretty good, but there wasn't much depth to them so it was hard, I thought, to be that bothered when they were killed or turned. I also saw a lot of things coming in this movie, which is shocking because I hardly ever see things coming. As soon as that big grindy-choppy machine was shown, near the beginning, it was plain that someone, and/or part of someone was going to fall in to this at some point.
I thought this movie was exceedingly average, and I think it's going to disappear into cinema history without much of a trace. The reviews I've read claim that this is a 'genuinely chilling horror' and that the vampires are 'genuinely scary'. I disagree on both counts. Using the long nights of the poles was a good excuse for a movie though, almost surprised no one's thought of it before actually.
Up to Something! (1990)
It made me laugh!
This was a sketch show that didn't last very long, and I suppose the lack of fans on here maybe indicates why.
Shame that no one else seems to remember Shane Ritchie's early days, with David Schneider. I remember Shane Ritchie playing a gobby bloke in a pub, and Dave Schneider going to a hairdressers dressed as a hedgehog, and the line "what do I look like, a pillock?" - but I'm afraid that's all!
I was about 8 when I used to watch it, I'm determined to find some clips to see if it was as funny as I, and my mum and sisters, remember...
Trip down memory lane!
I'm the only person I know who remembers this show, so it's nice to find out it wasn't in fact a figment of my imagination.
I was about 8 when I watched this, and all I can remember is fancying TJ something rotten, and being deeply jealous of Karen - even an 8 year old could see what was going on there. I also remember a scene where Karen dropped her contact lenses in a fish tank and had to wear glasses - years later I now sympathise - when she thought she'd found them she stamped on her glasses, but it was a fish egg or something.
This show would be worth repeating for kids (and adults) of today - you can find find the opening credits and a brief glimpse of an episode on Youtube - it really doesn't look very dated. I'd watch it!! Chalice
So awful it'd be great if it, you know, wasn't.
One of the worst films I've ever seen. Even the late great Richard Harris couldn't salvage this piece of tripe. The acting was terrible (Charlotte Rampling especially) the plot was beyond ridiculous and the fact that half the running time consisted of stock footage -well. I mean, really. The only almost-interesting bit was when the foetus plopped out of the harpooned whale, but Rampling's reaction to that destroyed and possibility of that being disturbing. She looked like she was watching a mildly distressing nature film.
This is one of those films that just shouldn't have been made. I give it two out of ten in gratitude for it lulling me into the first proper nights sleep I've had in ages. Watch it out of morbid curiosity, or if you're an insomniac.