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Reviews
After the Flood: Underwater (2024)
It sounded better on paper
Well we areoff to a mediocre start. A fake baby, drowning (or not) in a fake flood. I am 100% certain that any other natural disaster could have worked here. It would have been better and only 3 minutes of "oh my gosh the earth is dying" drama and not what felt like three hours.
I am not saying toss a real baby into the "stormy water" but at least make it more realistic. I doubt that a screaming baby would be perfectly still, calm and almost bone dry when tossed in the water... Its face would be red with screaming covered in snotties and all other things.
When making budget series, dont skimp on details, dont skimp on a proper and plausible story.
This story was written in one night after a barbecue on the beach after someone said something about an overflowing toilet at home...
I doubt that i will even watch episode 2.
World War II: From the Frontlines (2023)
Bits missing and someone should call a librarian to fact check this stuff...
My first thought was that this would be an insightful view into a war that people still study and look at for the future... But oh my the errors...
The star of this show seems to be the colorized images and stories presented by survivors. Nothing more...
I keep thinking that they will explain better and give more detail on how and why things happened the way they did. But this series never does.
I think this is a visual history - not one with explanations and all facts 100% accurately presented (a bit of the Battle of the buldge going on here). Actually the documentary presented on the special edition disk set had more to say. The film itself a disaster...
Blue Beetle (2023)
Just for fun
This is not an Oscar winner. It wont win prizes for cinematography or sound affects. But its packed with laughs and giggles, action and good music. Give it a go...
This is exactly how my familty would react if a blue bug bites me in the back. It will be mass hysteria and screaming in a very similar way.
This film is for fun. For me it was something different because i had no idea who Blue Beetle is and how he came to be a bug. So from that point of view it was just a fun film for watching after a long day at work.
The story isnt the worst ive seen in recent months. Unfortunately its still predictable and a bit on the screamy side. But i dont think it deserves a one or two score... Anything below 5 is a "film snob" reviewer...
Barbie (2023)
It was fun... For a while longer than i though
I loved how they translated the Barbieland from our imaginations tp screen. The clothes, colours and stages are beautifully done.
The way they show stiff unbendable limbs are just such a simple detail, comical in a way but also sad and stiff. How can girls compare themselves to a unbendy, out of proportion, busty blonde. And in this case a Barbie without a true purpose. No one wants to be known as stereotypical... Thats just average...
The story is fun. Barbie is having an existential crisis while Ken just needs a bit of love.
I kept wondering what the *deep dive story* is all about. Is this a person playing with Barbies and Kens and just thinking "what if"?
The story may be about nothing important. Or it might showcase the strugles of the real world.
Do girls still play with Barbie and does Ken even feature??
The soundtrack is good.
And i LOVE Weird Barbie but i dont think my Barbie would have made it in the movie, she was attacked by hooligans with toothpick spikes and she lost her head when the tried fitting her into King Solomons Mines (do you remember the) stewpot.
.... And John Cena - damn he is looking good here...
The Little Mermaid (2023)
I wish I could give this zero
For those of us who grew up with the animated version this live version will be a huge disappointment. The tense scary scenes arent there, the festival and Atlantis is replaced by hearsay and a dark place somewhere,. The CGI is so inconsistent that it becomes a joke about who sees what within a few minutes.
There is no emotion, no joy, no fear and no happy ending.
Dont expect Ursula to star, she tries to save this disaster in the last few minutes. King Triton here has no presence, and seems a bit of a wussy. There are iconic scenes missing from this below average remake.
Stop making these...
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)
Just stop making these movies
Where to begin!?
The accent is so irritating.
Story is so absurd with the feathery winged blue things with bone dry feathers on their heads and flipper things on their feet, riding whales upriver (the scale feels wrong too) - they remind me of the monkeys on the back covers from 80's comics.
Where in the world does the dead depart in coffins that are sucked up and taken somewhere? Her "tusk" earrings are not warthog shaped, they are not antelope shape, they are not hippo or crocodile shaped... What are they? Alien or fake?
As an African (from and in Africa) this film feels so fake and so far removed from what we experience every day with traditions and rituals. The funeral had in some parts elements from seemingly all over the place. The drumming is ok, the Xhosa is OK. It feels like a mockery of our African traditions.
The jokes are seriously not amusing and it feels forced.
I cant say that i finished watching - the more I watched the angrier I became at how stupid it all seems. Its just so over the top it became laughable.
The Last of Us: Long, Long Time (2023)
Pulls it together for me
Some love this episode, some hate this episode. I loved it.
As a non gamer there would probably be things that go woosh over my head, but this episode it in my mind the story side of things that gets things moving with the Depeche Mode song from Episode 1. Somehow this feels like the catalyst of why things started as they did.
Songs from the 1960s means no new stuff, 1970s is for new stock, and 1980s songs mean "X." And the song that played was "wake me up before you go go... Then they are taking a ride with their best friend...
Bill and Frank tells Joel and Ellie to go go with their best friend(s). Forget about any of that other stuff and get behind the story.
I prefer Bill and Frank being happy rather than fighting and screaming and shooting everyone to bits!
The Seagull (2018)
Absurdity and exceptional mediocrity
The story might have been an adaptation of a classic, but the acting in some cases are so extremely over the top it made me stare in disbelief at the absurdities. If that was the idea, maybe it would have made sense... There were some scenes that were very accurate for the culture of the era, but there are some phrases that are absolutely wrong, and most of the story felt rather forced, over acted, and superficial. A comedy turned tragic indeed.
This film walked a line from the start. Somewhere inbetween something good and entertaining and something dreadfully mediocre. For me it turned out to be the latter.
The decor is filled with russian art and influence as a reminder of the original. That however does not make up for the film itself.
The Wheel of Time: The Eye of the World (2021)
Unspoken rules of series seem to be..
Is there a new rule that applies to series that determines that epic stories must be squashed into 8 1hour slots?
Why didnt they just add two episodes and make this series a bit heftier, give it a bit more weight and more of the original story?
This feels like a series that started off, ran along at a pace, paused on a few episkdes and then rushed to squish everything into 8 hours.
Not dreadful, not brilliant. Not GoT by a long shot and I am disappointed.
Ragnarok (2020)
Minus one star simply because I wished for more episodes
I enjoyed this show, I just wish for more episodes per season. Its not Marvel - and that's a good thing too. I think this carries a better storyline more in line with the mythology as it should be. It has also forced me to read up on the characters and learn the where and why's of each creature.
I hope that season 3 will delve deeper into the magic and mythological background of each person.
The Midnight Sky (2020)
I loved this....
It might seem pointless, but isnt that just the whole idea? This is life, you make plans and they change.
I just watched the film without expecting sci-fi or drama or any such thing. Its just a film, telling a story.