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Gloria: Episode #1.4 (2021)
Not realistic
In this particular episode, social services are removing her three children from Gloria. This is not realistic at all. One bruise and a few testimonies from neighbors? Children have no wounds or broken bones, they are clean, with clean clothes, well fed. They go to school, their house is clean, their rooms as well. They are not afraid of their mom, but they are worried because their dad is missing. Who wouldn't? The social worker didn't witness personally any drinking from the mother, and except for one time, children always had babysitters. No way in real life children would be taken with so little evidence. Each episode ends with a small cliffhanger, and that one was so badly written, you could see it coming miles away. Weakest episode so far.
Nowhere (2019)
Over in less than 30 minutes
Less than a half hour into the movie, they gave us the plot away.
New girl in town, enters a basketball team. Hazing gone bad. You are told that all the girls are there for each other, strong bound. Their coach proudly says that she knows everything that happens to them.
The missing girl reminds her mom not to worry, especially about alcohol. She hates that.
More obvious clues will add up, or previous ones repeated, but it is already perfectly clear.
Initiation went horribly wrong, they forced her to drink and there was an accident and they left her for dead, or she had died. All the teammates participated, and the coach is well aware of what happened. The small town will protect their team and turn against the mother. Most likely a weak link from the team will help the mother.
As they gave away the main plot, the following hour was a pain to watch, only the mother saved that part. Another movie so predictable.
I See You (2019)
Could have been much better
The supernatural twist of the first half of the movie fell flat from the get-go. A transparent wire was likely used to trap the kid.
The events in the house have tons of flaws. The television that won't turn off, I often do that with my cell phone.
A full drawer of silverware is missing and the mother blames her son. He's the typical angry teen, maybe 16 years old, who'd rather groans than talks to his parents (Even more angry at his mother, for cheating on his dad).
The son is in his own bubble, and his attitude doesn't show a need to steal or hide something. It's beyond silly to believe he could have stolen the silverware. It's extremely heavy, makes lots of noise when moves, and not so much value for the trouble. If he was in need of money, he would have stolen much smaller items, that can be easily sold, like electronics, or jewelry.
One of the worst moment is when the glazier responds to the mom that her daughter let him in, and that she had great manners, you taught her well!
How on earth you can hear that and not stop him, question him about the girl and call 911 right away!
Her husband is a cop!
By the way, he didn't wake up when the intruder peed on him, and in the morning he's not worried at all when he discovers his flooded bed. No doctor appointment?
Everything is fine?
Silverware is gone, a photo on the wall is gone, he just wet his bed... he's a detective and everything sounds right? As a cop he must be familiar with the phenomenon of intruders.
The photo was most likely one of the hints that help figure out the timeline.
I loved Helen Hunt in As good as it gets, and it's very sad and disturbing to see her emotionless face.
So many other things didn't make sense, who keeps antiseptic and bandages in the basement? I also wouldn't leave alone a friend with a bleeding head injury.
Anyway, too many things were done to create suspense but didn't make sense. The devil is in the details, and here it led to its demise.
The Secrets She Keeps (2020)
So predictable, full of nonsense
It was a pain to watch till the end. Some characters are so cliche. I
recognized on the poster the actress from Downton Abbey and decided to give it a shot. I sometimes like to watch movies or series without knowing a thing about it. To get the full surprise.
Right from the start you know that her character is not pregnant. She's green with envy while watching young children playing in a park. So many details and dialogue only confirm it.
The hot flashbacks of the real mother to be, showing only her face, easily mean another man, and another father for the baby. She's mad at one friend of her husband for no real reason. Again so predictable. Agatha navy boyfriend's behavior is laughable, any attempt to build suspense fell flat. Police officers knocking at the door, and someone else is behind it. It worked well in 1991 in Silence of the lambs. Here it's another failure. The suspicious ex-husband is already dead. When he mentions the train station, there's no doubt that she'll be there, right behind him.
Police officers said that she had planned all the details. I beg to differ! Especially after we discover the three little graves. She didn't steal a blank birth certificate nor buy a fake one. Didn't she learn from her three previous experiences? They probably died from illness too, as graves are so small. Without papers she couldn't go to the hospital or see a doctor.
So many other nonsense, it's a pain to list. I do not recommend.
Intelligence (2020)
Ho my god!
David is the only one funny, the rest of the cast is dreadful. I love British humor, but this isn't. No plot, nothing. I'll try to stick around for David. Such a waste.
21 Bridges (2019)
Manhattan Lockdown
In my country, the film was released as Manhattan Lockdown. The action movie is missing several key elements, including the lockdown itself! When you hear that the island of Manhattan will be closed, you need to see it, to fully feel that the killers are now trapped. Sadly we'll never see all the bridges and roads closed, only a few indoor hints mainly through news reports on TV.
Chadwick Boseman's charisma shines through this random cop, but can't make us forget the weakness of the scenario.
Fractured (2019)
So predictable!
"I see dead people"
That other movie was better at hiding the truth. This famous line made you understand that the main actor was indeed dead (not spoiling you in case you haven't seen the 1999 thriller).
Fractured gives away the ending, even in the trailer (title is a huge hint as well). You can clearly understand that his family isn't there anymore. The way his family is shot from a distance, how people react around him, his wife's acting after the fall... Countless times the ending is given away, and the movie is just a slow death till the end.
Zoo (2015)
Season 3 fiasco
Season one was really great, season two started to go a little off the road, but season three clearly jumped the shark! Big time!
I don't know if they ran out of source material, or if they had fired all the writers, but this last season a complete mess.
Did they burn the characters' bible from previous seasons? Because you hardly recognize them. Most of their actions don't make sense. Some actors seem bored to death.
Each episode brings more inconsistency and 'roll eyes' moments.
Still you manage to care a little
about the story, and try to hang in there.
Season three was torpedoed.
Alad'2 (2018)
Dialogue written by a 5 year old
Easiest one star rating.
You can hardly blame very low budget movies to be a total disaster, but what's the excuse here?
Dialogue was getting worse by the minute. That's the only accomplishment.
Black Mirror: Striking Vipers (2019)
It almost became good when...
Despite the sudden embrace, nothing happens till the end.
At one point, I thought that his wife was about to use the device and play the game!
Black Mirror was sour and disturbing in a good way. It was pushing our buttons quite far and made you think.
Here, nothing more than a cheating husband.
As a BM episode we expected much more: his wife trying out the device, confronting his husband's lover, a fight/accident, the wife posing as his lover in the game, game bug/crash, being locked in the game etc.
The spice of the series is gone. Boring.
La La Land (2016)
Can't sing nor dance? Let's star in a musical!
I love musicals, when Ginger and Fred would really blow us away with light as a feather dancing, magic tap moves, or swinging choreography by Gene Kelly during the golden era of Musicals. A fest for the eyes that looked so easy but we knew the tremendous hard work and countless hours behind the magic.
La La Land is a failed homage to the classics. It's an offence to cast lead actors that can't sing and even worse, can't dance better than any mediocre Dance with the stars contestant.
Cinematography of some scenes is nice, trash the rest of the movie.
If you really want to see a great musical with real dancing I recommend you Top Hat (1935) and The Gay Divorcee (1934).
Silk Stockings (1957)
In the hall of shame of the musicals
I am astonished by all the positive reviews. I have watched with delight Fred Astaire's amazing performances over the years and was thrilled to discover one I haven't seen yet. Cyd Charisse was the ice on the cake. What a huge letdown!
Large empty sets, that you hope will be filled with beautiful dancing numbers. Sadly no. Everything is dull from start to finish. Story, acting, all those empty sets shot with static cameras...
When a very few good moves comes towards the end, you're already bored to death and only wish to end this fiasco fast.
By far the worst I've seen with Fred Astaire, up there in the hall of shame of the musicals.
John Carter (2012)
A 5 year old cut this movie
Who hired the film editor and director? I've seen more than 10k movies and this easily is in the top ten hall of shame! Some kind of mixed Sci-Fi films where nothing makes any sense.
The editing is the worst ever, jumping from one scene to another without any transitions nor sense. One minute they are celebrating and in a blink they are fighting. This nightmare goes on during the whole movie.
Nothing can be saved exempt a few well made aliens. Couldn't care less for the one dimensional main characters, with blank faces.
The actress shouldn't work in moving images ever, rather stay on paper where she can get away with only one expression. A plant. Guy not better.
Lost complete interest, real pain to watch, couldn't bear it anymore. We had to turn if off 15 minutes before the end.
They should have donated their huge budget to help stop world hunger, rather than throwing it out of the window.
Behind the Screen (1916)
Some kind of wonderful
In short I wanted to highlight the wonderful work of the 2013 restoration. I have discovered again this gem that gives a glimpse at old time film studios settings; when noise on set didn't matter, and movies could be shot close to each other.
Chaplin surely used his personal experience in this one. Making fun of the artificial magic of cinema. Unlike his firsts silent shorts that only showcases a succession of gags, this one has a decent plot. His chemistry here with co-star Edna Purviance is even better than with Paulette Goddard.
I am very found of the bear scene, my favorite. Highly recommended to watch the restored copy, to fully enjoy it as Chaplin intended to show viewers when it was released.
Secret Beyond the Door... (1947)
Rebecca's plain little sister
A woman falls for a stranger, marries him and learns dark secrets when she arrives in his mysterious mansion. Her husband is a widower and he might have murdered his first wife.
Reminds you of something? Add to that the black and white photography with revealing shadows, and you get a very dull copy of Alfred Hitchcock's masterpiece Rebecca. Released in 1940, seven years before, Rebecca is the first American movie of the British born director.
Joan Bennett is only a shadow of Joan Fontaine, and her character doesn't have that fire burning inside and she slowly fades away and bore us til the silly ending.
The only interesting key plot was the other rooms, only ruined by Joan Bennett's same blank stare while listening to each rooms' deadly story.
Even a better ending couldn't have saved the movie due to dull acting. Prefer Rebecca (1940) if you're looking for a great film noir.
The Carrie Diaries (2013)
SATC spirit swirl into teenage years of the 80s
You cannot expect SATC wit with Carrie's diary on TheCW. It's not HBO and not aimed at the same viewers.
I can understand the hard core Sex and the City fans disappointed by the changes in the story of Carrie, simply they kept only Carrie's spirit to built the character, to serve the story.
Feels like they changed her family background to better accommodate the story. Being raised by her father and having a sister close in age, makes more room for Carrie's young relationships. With a mother and no sister, she would have shared much more with her and less "time" for her friends. With this new family background, she is already propelled in the NY and fashion world that she cannot find or share at home.
I was very glad that for once a show for younger audience didn't picture young girls as we've seen too much, brainless, wearing minuscule dresses and spiky heels all day, to show their super skinny shapes. Characters here are much more real and it's a breath of fresh air.
The 80s set is fun, even if I don't recall some styles. Music of course is great and overall I enjoyed the show.
Oblivion (2013)
Tom Cruise only wants to play with this other actor:
I like very much Tom Cruise's movies and yet these pasts years, he seems to play mostly alone, while more and more all cast movies are out there. I really wanted to like this movie, but I've seen myself fast forward too many times, waiting for something to happen. Special effects were nice but it doesn't make a movie! As the movie unfold, I kept thinking that Tom Cruise doesn't want to play with other actors anymore, but only with himself, if he could. Then the next scene, here's his twin! He was really playing opposite himself! That was too much, couldn't stand it anymore. Mister Cruise is not really a giving actor, who let his co-stars shine. I hope he will focus next on a movie where the star is the script, not him.
Pathology (2008)
Bloody horrible
What was that?! Was my first thought when the movie ended. Truly awful movie from start to finish, you keep wondering what's the point. Surprised to see Alyssa Milano in a rather small girlfriend part, who adds nothing to the plot.
Was there a plot anyway? Mediocre acting, lousy sets. Bloody horrible! They needed a reason to create more bloody scenes. Some of which are very disturbing, and I'm not shy.
I can't understand how such movies can be made? I kept hoping for some kind of smart move, in vain. It's full of gore and nonsense.
Run away.