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Dawn of the Dead (1978)
An overly long, and painfully boring film
Expecting a thrilling ride, I was suckered into renting this based on it's incredible reputation among horror fans, and critics alike. Quotes from notable film critics like Roger Ebert saying things like "The Best Horror Film Of All Time" and "Scariest Film Ever Made" are what made me have to see for myself.
I now wish I hadn't wasted my time on this God-awful movie. How can a film as boring, cheesy, and lame as this one be so highly regarded? It looks as though the actors playing the zombies jumped into a pool of blue paint. They aren't scary or menacing in the slightest, and what probably contributes to that is the fact that they walk after their victims, at about a snail's pace.
The film's first twenty minutes did have me briefly interested, but after the band of four survivors get into the mall, it all goes down hill from there and the pace really slows down. If you want to see a movie that's second half consists solely of bad actors crying and whining about stuff (not convincingly), then I suggest that you checkout "Dawn Of The Dead". Otherwise, if you don't want to fall asleep during a movie, there are plenty of other zombie films out there miles better than this one.
Star Wars: Lethal Alliance (2006)
Wildly addictive, with a great story:
"Star Wars: Lethal Alliance" is set between Revenge Of The Sith and A New Hope, and focuses on a new galactic hero. Rianna is a Twilek bounty hunter who gets involved with the Alliance, a resistance group, and becomes entangled in a secret mission to steal the plans to the Death Star. The game's graphics, while not perfect, are passable with the extremely entertaining levels of game play. Not too long, and not too short, the length of this adventure is perfect. "Lethal Alliance" is wildly addictive, and tells a great story. If you're a fan of the film series, and an avid player of video games, then you had better be sure to check this one out.
Bleeding Gums (2014)
Very, very disturbing... Yet effective
This short film revolves around a trip to the dentist. Although the film may be short, it scared the Bejesus out of me. I mean good God, Jerome Cloutier should direct a major budget Hollywood movie. I would go see it. This guy knows exactly what he's doing.
Just thinking about it makes me shiver. From the well edited opening to the hauntingly eerie final shot, I was genuinely terrified. Great direction, writing, acting, and atmosphere. Props to Mr. Cloutier, it may be a little too disturbing for my taste, but, it works. But most importantly, it's honest. Oddly enough, as much as I admire it, I would never watch it again. And, that's a compliment.
A completely different movie than the trailers try to make it seem
Godzilla is supposed to be the star of the show, so... why is he barely in it? Ask the writers. They seem to think that building tension is more important than having any at all. The trailers were promoting a totally different movie. Where was the emotional punch? Most importantly, where the Hell was Bryan Cranston? He's got barely 25 minutes of screen time. He falls off a mechanical crane, gets severe head trauma, and dies 5 minutes later.
But, it's not a total loss. Godzilla has an 8 minute cameo at the very end. If you don't fall asleep by the 45 minute mark, God help you. Hopefully you won't lose all your brain cells by the time it ends.
Hit and miss in the first act, cleaned up by the second and third
This film is essentially a montage of cameos, modern references, slapstick, gun fights, and sex jokes. But I concur, it all meshes together very well. From the slow opening act to the hilarious final scene with a cameo that could not have been better chosen, it managed to make me laugh almost constantly all the way through. And, that's really hard to do. That's what differentiates comedies from other genres. It's hard to be consistently funny.
It's far easier to make a film scary than to make it hysterical. Which is why Seth Macfarlane deserves a lot more credit than he's receiving for writing and directing this. If you had a bad day at work and your feeling down, or you simply want to laugh, follow Seth Macfarlane's A Million Ways To Die In The West.
A Fun Movie With Stunning Visuals... But Not So Stunning Leads...
Pompeii is basically just Titanic with a volcano instead of a ship. But despite it copying various scenarios from Titanic, (Like the "bad guy" paying money so he can get on one of the boats to escape before anyone else) it is still a very thrilling and engaging ride. From the brutal opening scene to the sappy lame ending, it will grab a hold of your attention.
Filled with stunningly beautiful visuals and well choreographed gladiator fight sequences, Pompeii has a lot of heart. It's too bad that the two lead characters were so wooden. But it's not the characters that are wooden, it's the actors. Kudos to Adewale Akkinouoye-Agbaje for giving the best performance in this movie for his portrayal of Atticus.
This Is the End (2013)
Easily one of the funniest movies ever made
This Is The End is easily one of the funniest comedies known to man. It is guaranteed that you will be laughing from start to finish. Plus besides the humor in it all, it also has some elements from every genre. Action, Horror, Comedy, and Drama. This is the kind of film that will go down in history as one of the best comedy films ever made.
I had a blast while I was watching it. The writing is what makes the jokes come together in a ridiculously hilarious way. Not to mention that even though the acting and the characters are not meant to be taken seriously, the performances were all very well played. This Is The End is a very funny comedy that also has some moral lessons and touching moments thrown in as well.
You're Next (2011)
One of the best slasher films ever made
I had tons of fun with this movie. It has everything you could possibly ask for in a horror film. Strong characters, good humor, thrills, and quality chills. The flaws in this movie were very few. The only problem with it is that the acting was kind of bad for about the first five minutes or so. But that is absolutely the only problem.
You're Next really pushes modern horror forward with it's originality and cleverness and I strongly praise it for that. This movie is the best horror film that I have seen in the past few years. Go and see it or at least rent it when it gets released to video because it will keep you constantly entertained and on the edge of your seat.
One of the scariest movies I have ever seen in my entire life
This movie stars Ethan Hawke and 3 other people that I have never seen or heard of. The acting is great, the writing is great, the story is original and clever, and the subject matter is so disturbing and unbelievably terrifyingly realistic that you buy almost everything that happens. This movie is not for anyone under the age of 15. But it will most likely scar you for life regardless of your age. It's just that younger audiences won't know what hit them and it will likely make them upset.
Sinister is easily one of the most disturbing and scary movies I have ever seen in my entire life. There is something about this movie that bothered me on a psychological level. The plot content is so......... Evil.
Roundhay Garden Scene (1888)
A flawless short film
There is nothing wrong with this very short short film. The reason it's flawless is because it has a runtime of like 2 seconds. Exactly 2 seconds. But hey, at least you won't be bored while you are watching it. This short film rightfully deserves itself a 10/10 for it's quality and because it is one of the first short films/films ever made that helped the movie industry get started. It's definitely worth a watch.
If you are busy doing something and you think that you won't have time to watch it, trust me. It will be over before you know it. This short film is simply a must see to all movie buffs that enjoy watching old works of art and that would like to see how the film industry began.
Gakkô no kaidan G (1998)
Review for horror short films: "In A Corner (aka) Katasumi" and "Ten Fours"
Review 1: In A Corner (aka) Katasumi: In A Corner (aka) Katasumi is such an eerie and well made horror short film that even though it's only a few minutes long, it still managed to creep me out. And the fact that it creeped me out in only a few minutes, means a lot considering that some feature length horror movies are way longer and have zero scares and no suspense.
Review 2: Ten Fours: Ten Fours sort of reminds me of the movie "One Missed Call" (2008). But there is one huge difference, this is way better. Not only is this short film scarier and better than a feature length horror movie, it's under five minutes long and it's five times better.
Takashi Shimizu (director of both of these short films and creator of the Ju-On franchise) is a genius of atmosphere and horror. With that being said I strongly recommend both of these horror short films to anyone that enjoys J-Horror movies and anyone who likes The Grudge franchise.
Where do I start!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything is wrong with this movie. The story is dumb, the acting is horrible, the characters are stupid, it is very boring, and it gets you no where. I really have no idea why the people who made the first two didn't make the third one themselves instead of selling the franchise rights to some direct to DVD film company.
The movie feels so lazy and underwritten but it would have been great if all the surviving characters from the last movie returned and if it was made by the same people. What a shameful movie. My biggest question to the filmmakers of this movie is, how could you?
Jaws 3-D (1983)
Great idea, not done right
Jaws 3-D had so much potential, it could have been the best in the series if it had been done it right. The story is pure gold but unfortunately the scenes didn't go that far or break any rules. Not to mention that the 3D is awful, the dialog is bad, the acting is worse. If you want to see this movie, keep your expectations very low because you will likely be disappointed.
Jaws 3-D as a whole is just mediocre but it does have some redeeming features. What's good about it are the shark attack scenes, and that the story is far more interesting than it's predecessors. Yet, it sucks.
One of the worst movies ever made
Beware of Carnosaur! The puppet dinosaur that is obviously and painfully fake! This is easily one of the worst movies ever made. The special effects are horrible, the story is beyond dumb, and it is breathlessly boring. Note that this movie was released to theaters a few weeks before Jurassic Park was.
But what really makes me mad about that is because this movie is just a pathetic and terrible rip-off of Jurassic Park that completely fails to offer anything exciting or original, since it basically just steals Jurassic Parks idea but changes it up a little bit. Stay away from this movie. If you watch it, it will ruin your whole day.
The Apparition (2012)
Not bad at all
First of all, this movie is not awful in the slightest. It had an original story, it was entertaining, and it was very interesting. I do however have to say that the acting was not great. But that is my only real problem with it. I think that for Todd Lincoln's directorial debut, he did a decent job writing and directing this.
Is it scary? No. Not even a little. Is it entertaining? I would say so. That is why I enjoyed it. I know, I know, the Costco scene and the restaurant scene at the beginning were cringe inducing, purely awful. But hey, did you really go into a movie called "The Apparition" expecting art and Oscar worthy acting? I certainly hope not. I didn't. Probably why I liked it.