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Dave Chappelle: The Closer (2021)
Lazy, Unpolished, Anachronistic
I managed to pull through 30 minutes or so. His insights are anachronistic, the jokes are stale, few and far between and the timing was off.
He's so out of touch that some of the jokes bombed spectacularly. Ever noticed how Lesbians look like men? Grandpa Dave is here to tell you all about it. Well that and his on-going feud with Trans people (yes, he's STILL milking that carcass of a cow).
I have to admit that as a Jew i thoroughly enjoyed the deafening silence following his first "space Jews" joke.
Later on he did a 2nd joke, evidently based on some bogus progressive/Islamic narrative. By that point I was like "wait, I don't have to watch this.." and switched it off without a second thought.
For what it's worth, I'll always remember Dave fondly for Half-Baked, The Chappelle show and even the Brooklyn block party. But there's no escaping the fact that he's way, way past his prime.
The Siege of Jadotville (2016)
Amateurish
I quit half way through.
The film starts off with exposition titles, the tell-tale sign of amateur writing. Further exposition is promptly delivered to our commander protagonist by a local white woman who looks like she's reading it off a monitor.
It's like a high school production, in both script and acting.
The dialogues are laughable, The combat scenes looks like an exercise and fail to produce any sense of danger or urgency. They're supposedly outmatched 20-1 but hardly anyone get hit, and when they do it's only a scratch.
Following the first assault on his compound, our brave commandant begs for reinforcements over the radio.
The politician on the other end uses his deadpan delivery to recite gems like "We each have our part to play in history. Yours is happening right now" and "There are larger things in play than you can't possibly imagine" To which the commandant woodenly replies "I don't give a damn about the larger things!"
Now there's a soldier with a sniper rifle in the movie, who everyone refer to as "Sniper" (i guess they forgot his name and at some point it became too embarrassing to ask).
During the 2nd assault, the commandant spots the fat white mining boss monitoring his troops, sporting a shiny, all white suit. He asks the sniper if he can kill him. The sniper picks up a Bren machine gun and take him out with a single shot.
So they crush the 2nd assault, even more than they did the first. The mercenary boss that worked for the dead mining boss asks for a ceasefire so his guys can pick up all the corpses. At the same breath, he tells the commandant he should surrender because he's outnumbered (lol).
At that point I stopped watching.
The VVitch: A New-England Folktale (2015)
I curse all of thee who gave this more than 2 stars!
This is a warning! As a guy who's really into any movie involving witchcraft and especially the devil, I watched this movie expecting a semi decent experience (a score of 7 on IMDB).
However, this was a borefest of the highest order, with zero redeeming qualities. A true disaster from start to finish.
DO NOT WATCH THIS CRAP IF YOU VALUE YOUR TIME !!!
P. S: the ending is NOT worth it. It is as bad as the movie.
The Last Kingdom (2015)
Hated the main character for a few episodes, then fell in love.
I am Uhtred son of Uhtred!
I was looking for something to ease the loss of "Vikings" (which went down the toilet not long before they killed off Ragnar).
I wasn't really expecting much, since I never heard of this series until it showed up on my Netflix recommendations.
The obstacle I had to get past was no joke. I HATED Uhtred. His character annoyed the hell out of me. I found him to be an arrogant brat with incredibly off putting mannerism. Thankfully, he grew on me and by the end of 1st season I was fully immersed in his quest and character growth.
Uhtred turned out to be a captivating protagonist, and there's always a feeling of great meaning to his actions. Everything just makes senses.
His character blends wonderfully into all of those fiery historical events. He's right in the thick of it all, and it's a joy to witness.
The rest of the cast do not disappoint! An especially stellar performance from David Dawson (who plays king Alfred).
The plot itself manages to remain grounded, yet still captivating. By that I mean that a lot of things are taken into account by all parties. Real strategy and tactics considerations like troop movements, numbers, supplies, and morale just like they would in real life. The battles themselves feel more realistic when compared to "Vikings", and don't drag on for a 20 minutes of mind numbing slaughter.
Lastly, another thing that was missing from Vikings was humor. That show just took itself SOOOO seriously. Funnily enough, it took me an episode or 2 to get used to it again, but it's very tame and never feels like it's out of a 13 rated B-movie. Mostly friendly banter among Uhtred and his companions.
Anyway, I watched all episodes (seasons 1-5), and I can not recommend it enough!
DESTINY IS ALL!
American Vandal (2017)
S02 is more "Black Mirror" than a mere mockumentary. still 10/10.
A rock solid plot full of twists and cliffhangers. great actors. especially the kid who plays the main suspect. the internet generation with all its online personas, shaming and constant documentation and such shines perfectly through every bit of the story.
Each and every episode holds water and will entertain you to the max and shove you closer to the edge of your seat.
Bare in mind though, that this season takes on a more serious tone. It's more of a thriller as opposed to season one's suspenseful, light lighthearted mockumentary.
The Haunting of Hill House (2018)
"Dysfunctional family" bore-a-tlon drama with jump scares and crappy ending.
The first 2 episodes we're highly promising (and the 5th was actually pretty neat). unfortunately, the rest of the show doesn't cash in. if i had to pick only one adjective to describe it, "long" is what come to mind. and oh boy is it long. Each episode lasts for an eternity, which is a real shame because i'm pretty sure it would've been so much better if they squeezed the entire plot into something like 5 episodes.
But noooooo - the show drones on and on and the characters burst into incredibly tedious monologues and we're subjected to more and more of the "dysfunctional family" bore-a-tlon...
The last episode was the worst. I can't believe they still write this sort of stuff in 2018.
Don't watch.
Christina P: Mother Inferior (2017)
She's BRILLIANT. I'm happy to report she's as funny as her husband.
What can i say? every now then i go into a comic bender and watch a bunch of comics trying to find a gem, which is really tedious since i only find like 15% of all comics i check out to be funny.
Anyway, Christina Pazsitzky just made my list of favorite comics (which already contained her husband, Tom Segura).
She's the only female on my all time favorites list. there are 2-3 girl comics i like, but she's just better.
T2 Trainspotting (2017)
Start off great, then fizzles out
The first 30-40 minutes of the movie were perfect. everyone is back, the scenes are funny and promising, and the nostalgia kicks in and makes you fall in love with the cast all over again.
Sadly, after 30+ minutes, it feels like they literally lost the script, and had to come up with the story on the spot. the momentum is gone and so is the excitement. the story is just not good enough.
Bright (2017)
A solid 7. fun action/fantasy movie for kids and teens.
I don't have a lot to say.
As the title said, it's an action/fantasy flick that will do well with any (male) who's not old enough to vote.
the plot is incredibly simplistic and easy to grasp. there's bad guys who want do invoke some ancient evil, and our heroes trying to stop them.
You've probably watched dozens of similar movies and this one is no different. the characters are archetypes (and Will Smith plays the exact same role he always play), humor is daft , the action scenes are effective.
The money poured into this film's production is what mostly helps this movie score a 7 rather than a 5 or a 6 for my taste.
that's it.
The Deuce (2017)
Sex and boredom
I made to the middle of episode 2. the "story" (for lack of a better word) goes nowhere. i don't really care about any of the characters. especially the Franco 'twins'. There's little drama, no suspense, not even comedy. i dunno, maybe it's interesting for people who lived on 42nd in the 70's. all the sex scenes had no point, but they did make me horny. then again, if i wanted to get off i'd just watch porn.
10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)
Bad Bad Bad
The story unfolds way too fast for it to be a real thriller. the characters are flat and not relatable.
If there was any shred of hope for this movie, the ludicrous ending was the final nail in the coffin.
Avoid at all costs.
Ghostbusters (2016)
A disgrace to the uniforms.
My favorite movie of all times (yes, i said it) is the 1st Ghostbusters film. I've watched it on my VCR dozens of times back in the day when i was a kid, and i'd watch it again with anyone who wants to have a good time today.
By looking at the cast of the 2016 film i already knew it's going to be a disaster so i avoided it.
A few days ago it was on cables and against my better judgement i actually tried watching it. as expected, this thing was a trainwreck. I barely made it to the 20/25 minute mark and couldn't take it anymore. It wasn't remotely funny. the actresses are beyond terrible.
Wayyyy too much pseudoscience nonsense and i even hated how they had to add lighting effects to the proton packs and the PKE meters. it looked really bad. not to mention all the new devices they come up with (that was the part where i couldn't take it anymore- when they test drive the new gizmos).
If you're here to check the reviews do yourself a favor and avoid this flick at all costs, and if you never watched the 1st GB movie, make sure to add it to your bucket list :)