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Can You Keep a Secret? (2019)
Why Was This Monstrosity Made?
The lead female in this film cannot act. Not one bit. She has no sense of timing and is horrible.
The film looks like a student production it's so bad. How do people get money to make this garbage?
Where'd You Go, Bernadette (2019)
Chick Flick for Far Left Elitist Females Who Have no Clue
Men (i.e. me and 50% of the population) will HATE this movie. It was clearly picked up in Hollywood's new wave to empower females. But of course that means it has to be far left, elitist and idiotic.
Somewhere along the line the director lost his nuts. Maybe he never had any.
I like Cate Blanchett. She's a great actress. Why did she agree to do this crap?
It is such tripe there is no doubt that's why it bombed at the box office
The Doors: The Soft Parade (1991)
This movie should be subtitled Ray Manzarek Continues to Cash in On Jim's Legacy.
It's basically found footage held together by music. And it really sucks.
Flesh and the Spur (1956)
B&W in Living Color
The titles to this movie says it was filmed in "Pathe Color." The version I saw was black and white.
That pretty much tells you all you need to know about this movie.
Not as a Stranger (1955)
Why this is labelled as a film noir, I have no idea.
If you actually want to see Dragnet's / M*A*S*H's Henry Morgan talking like he's from Holland then maybe this movie is your bag.
Oh and Robert Mitchum is sorely mis-cast.
Licking Mr. Snow Cone
Weird dude who inexplicably bleeds from his eyeballs makes his daughter paranoid about the outside world, which she rebels against and of course, which will save her in the end. Or will it?
Really slow exposition that isn't so interesting as much as it is predictable.
Looks like Bruce Dern -- who walks through his role -- got a new set of chompers for the part.
The basic problem with this movie is there is no tension. It's unforgivingly slow. And later takes a really dumb turn of events.
This Movie Sucks
I never liked the sow and the movie is even worse. The acting is completely atrocious.
The "actors" read their lines as if they are ready from a book. WTF? It's just dismal.
Last of Hammer
This movie represents the last of Hammer Horror with good production values. And it has Caroline Munroe who was a real hot POA back in the day.
It's a decent film although some of it makes no sense.
Like why are so many young girls roaming the woods alone and why is a vampire out in broad daylight?
It's directed more like a TV movie than a feature film, so if you view it with that in mind, it's not a bad flick.
Beatles Stories (2011)
This is the stupidest film I have ever seen.
A bunch of 30 second recounts by people who met the Beatles -- or worse, George Martin.
Why was this idiocy made? The stories are non eventful and not even interesting.
On the Beach (1959)
Technically it's a well made movie, but it's dated as all hell which makes it hard to watch.
The Boogie Man Will Get You (1942)
Columbia commissioned this screwball horror comedy to cash in on the success of Arsenic and Old Lace which Boris Karloff was appearing in on Broadway.
This is sort of a rip off of that play with quite a lot of similarities, except it's not witty or particularly funny. It's just a mish mash of silly scenes.
Mask of Thorn (2019)
If you think 5 minutes of upfront screaming, really really bad acting, out of focus camera work, music lifted form 70's porn, and a totally stupid incoherent story makes for a good movie, you are wrong.
Oh so wrong.
The Family (2013)
I Don't Know What I Watched
DeNiro is 40 years past his prime and should stop making movies. How much money do you need you dumb fk?
A full 20 minutes into this fiasco I still didnt know what the plot was. It's a mess of a movie that's all over the place.
Kill Chain (2019)
Is it Plastic Work or Bloat?
Nick Cage is looking horrible. Unnaturally dark beard and fake hair. But it's his face that is so alarming. Unsure if he's cranking fillers into his face or if he's just really really bloated. Either way, it's disturbing.
The good news is this is a movie he agreed to make for the money and exotic location. Mostly the money. He makes these all the time. In any case, it means he's only on the screen for a short time
This one is a standard plot but man the exposition takes forever. And you know where it's going from frame one. Not original in the slightest.
Girl on the Third Floor (2019)
Not as Bad as Some Would Say
The movie is actually pretty good until about an hour in and then it gets crazy weird.
This is a first time director and it's not a bad effort. It's just that the final third is nuts.
Also the basic premise is not oh so original, and I knew where this was sort of going nearly from the start. But still, it'snot horrible.
Why are there so Many FAKE reviews on IMDB?
Not that this is a horrible film, but it's no Citizen Kane and there are wayyyyy too many 8+ reviews which hoist a GIANT red flag that something is up.
It's a rather derivative movie that's been done before.
The acting is mediocre and the directing is nothing to write home about
The story is unoriginal. And of course, no story line today would be complete without the gay stuff thrown in for no reason other than to forward the agenda.
In sum, it's an insult to our collective intelligence.
Genuinely One of the Worst Movies Ever Made
Forget the massive FAKE reviews here that hold this film up to above a 6 rating. It deserves a negative 6.
It is HORRIBLE.
But worse, it's poorly written, worse directed, completely convoluted. The acting is atrocious. Cardi B. is the lowest piece of trash on Earth. Jenny from the block is laughable as a 50 year old stripper. Let's be honest foks. At 50 she'd either be divorced from some rich mark she hooked or working the streets up in Harlem.
And then there's the main character -- the fugly Asian who would never be able to get a gig stripping . The chicks in this film are the gnarliest women I have ever sen. There is no way Wall Street richie riches would throw money at these skanks.
Stay away from this bore-fest. It's garbage.
American Son (2019)
More Used Up Identity Politics from the Psycho Left
Boring trite poorly made garbage that is only getting made to spread BS and divide.
Rise up folks. Fight identity politics with a fervor.
Paradise Hills (2019)
Ed Wood as a Female
Worst movie EVER made
NOTHING to recommend.
This is a boring piece of crap made by a broad who should NEVER be allowed to make another picture
The Professor (2018)
More Left Wing Agenda BS
It takes nary 6 minutes into this film before the gey agenda rears its ugly head. Hence, the relatively good reviews this catastrophe is getting here. This basically sets the scene for the rest of the movie.
Self absorbed, unoriginal, poorly written pablum for the left. Filled with exceedingly thinly drawn characters and much stupdity.
Depp is a mess.
No wonder the movie failed. It's stupid, not based in reality.
I give it a Z for snooze.
Screaming Mimi (1958)
Not Film Noir
Not a true film noir. More like a crime drama.
You sit more than half the movie to see Anita naked. She had one kick ash body back in the day. She finally does her strip -- a bondage scene that she's not all that good at. But ooo baby look at that cleavage. Unfortunately there's way more bad dancing than strip.
And WTF! Gyspy Rose Lee was like 45 in this film but looks 70.
It's very slow and hot so interesting. Ekberg was not such a good actress.
Apt Show Title
This show has become the walking dead.
It has sucked for several years now.
Please kill it and make us happy.
Take it for What it Is
It's basically a kid's movie.
What we've learned is that Disney Plus is not gonna put a lot of dough into special effects. The level of the quality is between Disney's cable sit-coms and Disney features.
They must have put more money into he three main characters hoping to get some buzz for the new pay-through-Rudolph's-nose channel.
The story is 21st Century identity politic female empowerment stupidity.
How the F old is Shirley McClain? She no longer has a neck, most likely due to all the nip and tucks over the past 90 years.
So if you are under 12, you'll like this movie. Any older and you will not.
I gave it an 8 for the under 12's and a 4 for the olders. that's 12 divided by 2 or an averaged 4 rating.
Pleae do better Disney. Your service isnt cheap. and we're really not intereted in paying to submit to your leftest politics.
Madeline's Madeline (2018)
You are Not the Cat. You are Inside the Cat
Movie looks like it was made for four dollars with someone's home video camera. The acting is horrible as is the story, writing and directing.
Garbage movie made to fill a stoopid identity politic quota
This movie looks like it was made with drug money.
It's just dismal. The acting is back yard acting. The writing is moronic.
And the directing is shaky cam all the way.
It's real garbage.