Don't get the low rating. Probably from purists who can't handle a different take on their favorite song. If you like X-Files, proto-Matrix-like special effects or 90s rock and metal, check this one out. You might end up confused but not bored. And yes, this music video does offer better X-Files content than the last couple of seasons of the show. Kind of reminded me of the episode "D. P. O." and fights in the rain in the Matrix franchise during the "rock off" on the rooftops of the two skyscrapers. :)
Reviews
57 Reviews
Filter: One
(1998 Music Video)
Fun if nonsensical music video with cool special effects and William B. Davis
25 May 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Wonderlful Halloween crossover with the Beetlejuice universe
9 October 2020
Beetlejuice is the infamous humorously sinister trickster (portrayed by the 1989 Batman star Michael Keaton) from Tim Burton's eponymous 80s cult hit film and subsequent animated series. The movie still doesn't have a sequel despite its minor but strong presence in pop culture. Well, this is a decent filler until the inevitable sequel/reboot arrives. The story follows the gang teaming up with the ghost with the most to find the missing spirit of Halloween somewhere in the kooky and freaky underworld from Beetlejuice's universe. The short adventure is a fun, creative and very heartfelt tribute to Beetlejuice despite its predictable and anticlimactic ending. If this was a backdoor pilot for a Beetlejuice Teen Titans spinoff show, I'm sold. This style of humor and animation is way more appropriate for his character. Speaking of, this is the same Beetlejuice you know and love, if a bit toned down for the younger audience. If you're a fan of his, this is an 8/10 and a must see. If you're not, then this is a 6/10. If you've never heard of Beetlejuice before, please watch the movie and at least the pilot for the 1989 animated series first. Otherwise, you might have fun with the episode, but you won't get the references or why the character is such a big deal to make an enirte Teen Titans crossover episode all about him.
Rocket & Groot
(2017)
A short, funny, entertaining, well-drawn epic space yarn from everyone's favorite galactic bounty hunter duo
19 August 2020
After the success of the movie adaptation of Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy comics, it was only natural that the two breakout characters, space bounty hunters Rocket Raccoon and his tree-like best friend and sidekick Groot, get their own spin-off show(s). This is one of them and it's possibly the most entertaining one yet.
The show's format is episodic with each episode being about minute and a half in length and following the various stages of Rocket's plan to accumulate enough money from bounties and other quests to buy himself and Groot a brand new spaceship.
The show is solidly written, the story is told efficiently, the animation is stylish, the characters and the situations they find themselves in are fun (if occasionally cliched), funny and, most importantly, engaging, and the outcome, although more or less predictable, does not leave you unsatisfied for spending precious 25 minutes of your spare time on this show.
If you are a fan of these characters, space adventures or stylish animation in general you will most likely enjoy the show.
As for the show's target audience, it tries to entertain both adults and kids.
The characters from the films or the comics (save for possibly one) do not show up here since this is, first and foremost, Rocket and Groot's little yarn.
The show's format is episodic with each episode being about minute and a half in length and following the various stages of Rocket's plan to accumulate enough money from bounties and other quests to buy himself and Groot a brand new spaceship.
The show is solidly written, the story is told efficiently, the animation is stylish, the characters and the situations they find themselves in are fun (if occasionally cliched), funny and, most importantly, engaging, and the outcome, although more or less predictable, does not leave you unsatisfied for spending precious 25 minutes of your spare time on this show.
If you are a fan of these characters, space adventures or stylish animation in general you will most likely enjoy the show.
As for the show's target audience, it tries to entertain both adults and kids.
The characters from the films or the comics (save for possibly one) do not show up here since this is, first and foremost, Rocket and Groot's little yarn.
Probably the lamest episode of the show
4 March 2020
This show is a true early 90s oddball from its questionable premise to downright amoral protagonists only made likable by the fact that excellent actors portray them. However, even the most egregious episodes are at least somewhat entertaining or at least keep the viewers' attention. This episode, however, is mostly a lame love triangle comedy with uninteresting or downright unlikable supporting characters, perpetual suicide attempts played for laughs and a truly toxic relationship at the center of it. There are some funny bits here and there, and the sexually aggressive lady addicted to bad boys, who's at the center of said love triangle, is quite attractive, but, overall, this episode is completely skippable. It's too bad that the show did not continue because it's hard to imagine but would have been fascinating to see how exactly it would have progressed further. Then again, half of the showrunners thankfully went on to do bigger and better things by joining the X-Files crew and doing some seminal work on that series.
Hollyweird
(1998 TV Movie)
Wes Craven's pilot for a show ahead of its time predicting stuff like FreakyLinks, Veronica Mars and Ryan Hansen Solves Crimes on Television
16 February 2020
Sometimes TV pilots are just bad, but sometimes they are ahead of their time and predict classic future shows that came out at the right time. The plot about three filmmakers solving crimes in Hollywood for their true crime documentary show very much plays like proto-FreakyLinks, Veronica Mars, Ryan Hansen Solves Crimes on Television and possibly even Castle. The show is primarily a dark satirical comedy combined with a whodunit-ish mystery, serial killer thriller and some horror elements. The show makes mistakes like going overboard with a joke about dead musicians and not really doing anything original with the mystery. However, it's shot well, the cast is fun (especially Melissa George, who gives a passionate performance) and 90s-ness is very much present in all aspects of the pilot. Some spoofs of famous movie scenes, fun dialogue filled with film references and mostly lively direction help the show as well. Check it out if you get the chance.
The Fifth Element
(1998 Video Game)
Another iffy movie tie-in game...
3 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Most reviews for this title here are nonsensical because they were written by confused IMDB users who thought this is the film's and not the game's page.
This 3D action adventure from Kalisto Entertainment (a now defunct French video game company best known for their 1997 horror action game Nightmare Creatures, a cult hit on PS1), made seemingly in the same engine as Tomb Raider 4 (the one set in Egypt). is unfortunately another half baked movie tie-in game which no one except for the biggest fans of the movie or PS1 era nostalgiacs ever needs to play.
The game has 16 levels, although some of them need to be played twice, once with Leeloo and once with Korben since some areas can only be reached by one or the other character. Each level takes about 20 minutes to beat (unless you get lost, and you often will) except for a few timed levels which take much less. Leeloo's levels feature slightly more exploration. She can't carry guns, so she must fight enemies in Mortal Kombat light style or blow them up with standard or sticky grenades which the player can find in each level. Some areas (both regular and secret) can only be reached by blowing up the grates or fake walls blocking their entrance. Korben on the other hand gets to wield several cool guns including a lightning blaster which automatically targets enemies (the most useful weapon in the game by far) and the unique "multipractic" gun that the villain Zorg uses in the movie. Both characters also get to solve some awful find-a-switch-and-press-it or go-through-a-confusing-maze-of-almost-identical-corridors type puzzles.
The missions are loosely based on tasks in the movie and a short FMV clip from the movie plays before each mission. The mission objectives are presented in text form by the strangely silent but still flamboyant Ruby Rhod before each level. He sometimes allows the players to choose which character they want to play the level as first, Leeloo or Korben.
There are no game bosses in the game except technically for Zorg who the player gets to fight on several occasions as Korben in the opera level, although he's barely tougher than an average opponent. That makes the final level of the game extremely anticlimactic.
All levels are also based on locations from the movie but they still mostly end up consisting of endless samey corridors. The only levels that stand out in this sense are the rooftop levels and the Egyptian level simply because they actually have open spaces.
The levels contain many pickups including ammo clips for Korben (he usually gets plenty of ammo for whichever your favorite gun is), psionic blasts for Leeloo (annoyingly only triggered by an unnecessarily complex key combo), as well as force field shields, health packs and additional lives (like in a platform game). The game uses checkpoints during levels, and there is the usual save game option between levels.
The game is not difficult if everything works perfectly right, but nothing ever does. You will get lost in the game's repetitive locations, you will get bored by the often uninspired level design, you will constantly miss platforms while jumping, the enemies (Zorg's alien goons, evil scientists, security guards, security drones and eventually the pyramid aliens) will occasionally gang up on you or mercilessly gun you down with their sometimes overpowered futuristic machine guns one too many times to fully enjoy the action, you will be annoyed by the twitchy camera on occasion, and the controls will often lag. Not to mention Ruby's extremely long walking animation that you can't skip, and the fact that the characters do not actually talk. This is why the game fails to be anything much more than a simple cash in.
Having said that, the graphics are nice (for the time) and you will be able to recognize locations, items, characters and plot elements from the movie. Also, the gameplay is not that bad when everything works right, and that's when the game truly shows its wasted potential.
This 3D action adventure from Kalisto Entertainment (a now defunct French video game company best known for their 1997 horror action game Nightmare Creatures, a cult hit on PS1), made seemingly in the same engine as Tomb Raider 4 (the one set in Egypt). is unfortunately another half baked movie tie-in game which no one except for the biggest fans of the movie or PS1 era nostalgiacs ever needs to play.
The game has 16 levels, although some of them need to be played twice, once with Leeloo and once with Korben since some areas can only be reached by one or the other character. Each level takes about 20 minutes to beat (unless you get lost, and you often will) except for a few timed levels which take much less. Leeloo's levels feature slightly more exploration. She can't carry guns, so she must fight enemies in Mortal Kombat light style or blow them up with standard or sticky grenades which the player can find in each level. Some areas (both regular and secret) can only be reached by blowing up the grates or fake walls blocking their entrance. Korben on the other hand gets to wield several cool guns including a lightning blaster which automatically targets enemies (the most useful weapon in the game by far) and the unique "multipractic" gun that the villain Zorg uses in the movie. Both characters also get to solve some awful find-a-switch-and-press-it or go-through-a-confusing-maze-of-almost-identical-corridors type puzzles.
The missions are loosely based on tasks in the movie and a short FMV clip from the movie plays before each mission. The mission objectives are presented in text form by the strangely silent but still flamboyant Ruby Rhod before each level. He sometimes allows the players to choose which character they want to play the level as first, Leeloo or Korben.
There are no game bosses in the game except technically for Zorg who the player gets to fight on several occasions as Korben in the opera level, although he's barely tougher than an average opponent. That makes the final level of the game extremely anticlimactic.
All levels are also based on locations from the movie but they still mostly end up consisting of endless samey corridors. The only levels that stand out in this sense are the rooftop levels and the Egyptian level simply because they actually have open spaces.
The levels contain many pickups including ammo clips for Korben (he usually gets plenty of ammo for whichever your favorite gun is), psionic blasts for Leeloo (annoyingly only triggered by an unnecessarily complex key combo), as well as force field shields, health packs and additional lives (like in a platform game). The game uses checkpoints during levels, and there is the usual save game option between levels.
The game is not difficult if everything works perfectly right, but nothing ever does. You will get lost in the game's repetitive locations, you will get bored by the often uninspired level design, you will constantly miss platforms while jumping, the enemies (Zorg's alien goons, evil scientists, security guards, security drones and eventually the pyramid aliens) will occasionally gang up on you or mercilessly gun you down with their sometimes overpowered futuristic machine guns one too many times to fully enjoy the action, you will be annoyed by the twitchy camera on occasion, and the controls will often lag. Not to mention Ruby's extremely long walking animation that you can't skip, and the fact that the characters do not actually talk. This is why the game fails to be anything much more than a simple cash in.
Having said that, the graphics are nice (for the time) and you will be able to recognize locations, items, characters and plot elements from the movie. Also, the gameplay is not that bad when everything works right, and that's when the game truly shows its wasted potential.
Terminator: Resistance
(2019 Video Game)
A surprisingly good Terminator game from the makers of the atrocious Rambo game
22 November 2019
While Rambo: The Video Game, an arcade rail shooter and literal rethread of the first three Rambo films, will always be infamous as one of the most horrifically bad movie-based video games in history (no hyperbole there), its developer, Polish Studio Teyon, may still have a bright future ahead of them since they have now proved with their new Terminator game that they do actually have some talent for making good games as well.
In all honesty, Terminator: Resistance is a decent but average game. However, the fact that Terminator games haven't been good at all since the late 90s makes this okay game such a pleasant surprise that, at least in the eyes of the fans, it may as well be a 'triple A' Terminator game.
What's good about it? The story more or less works, the characters are not too unmemorable, the few choices in the game do have consequences, the action is serviceable, and the level design is not all that bad either.
What's bad about it? The limited budget occasionally shows when it comes to the graphics (most characters' faces look bad as if they come from a game from some previous generation console), the acting is often bad (even the main character is voiced poorly), the Elder Scrolls: Oblivion-like dialogue can get tiresome, and there is no variety when it comes to the gameplay (what you see is what you get). However, the graphics are fine for the most part, the voice actors who are good carry the game successfully, the dialogues do make the otherwise bland-looking characters somewhat interesting, and there is still more variety here than in any other Terminator game in recent memory.
What's neither here nor there? The game contains up to two short-ish sex scenes (full first person sex scenes with strategically covered nudity) if the player (the protagonist is a guy) chooses to take that route with two female side-characters.
Bottom line? All fans of either The Terminator franchise or Sci-Fi action in general should check this game out. If it makes them some money, maybe the game studio's next project will be a real classic considering what a leap forward this game is compared to the justifiably maligned so-incredibly-bad-it's-almost-good Rambo game.
In all honesty, Terminator: Resistance is a decent but average game. However, the fact that Terminator games haven't been good at all since the late 90s makes this okay game such a pleasant surprise that, at least in the eyes of the fans, it may as well be a 'triple A' Terminator game.
What's good about it? The story more or less works, the characters are not too unmemorable, the few choices in the game do have consequences, the action is serviceable, and the level design is not all that bad either.
What's bad about it? The limited budget occasionally shows when it comes to the graphics (most characters' faces look bad as if they come from a game from some previous generation console), the acting is often bad (even the main character is voiced poorly), the Elder Scrolls: Oblivion-like dialogue can get tiresome, and there is no variety when it comes to the gameplay (what you see is what you get). However, the graphics are fine for the most part, the voice actors who are good carry the game successfully, the dialogues do make the otherwise bland-looking characters somewhat interesting, and there is still more variety here than in any other Terminator game in recent memory.
What's neither here nor there? The game contains up to two short-ish sex scenes (full first person sex scenes with strategically covered nudity) if the player (the protagonist is a guy) chooses to take that route with two female side-characters.
Bottom line? All fans of either The Terminator franchise or Sci-Fi action in general should check this game out. If it makes them some money, maybe the game studio's next project will be a real classic considering what a leap forward this game is compared to the justifiably maligned so-incredibly-bad-it's-almost-good Rambo game.
Marilyn Martin: Night Moves
(1986 Music Video)
Miami Vice meets X-Files in this fantastic hidden gem!
22 November 2019
Marilyn Martin is not a staple of the 80s and is, unfortunately, probably best known for her duet with Phil Collins. However, she did try to make a career for herself, and this song and especially the music video may just be the crowning achievement of that attempt.
In this incredibly stylish and cool, uber 80s music video, the 'story,' just like in most music videos, follows the singer as protagonist, singing and frolicking like on some high end photo shoot. However, then the twist happens as the 'story' also starts following a secondary character - a homicide cop investigating a series of missing men. By the end, it becomes clear what happened to them, and makes this video worthy of a feature adaptation.
My guess is that this video was too intense for MTV, so it never got to be seen by enough people to leave a mark. Fortunately, with websites like YouTube, this wonderful little video can be rediscovered once again today, and hopefully finally find its audience. Had Miami Vice ever turned into an X-Files type show, this would have been a perfect pilot.
In this incredibly stylish and cool, uber 80s music video, the 'story,' just like in most music videos, follows the singer as protagonist, singing and frolicking like on some high end photo shoot. However, then the twist happens as the 'story' also starts following a secondary character - a homicide cop investigating a series of missing men. By the end, it becomes clear what happened to them, and makes this video worthy of a feature adaptation.
My guess is that this video was too intense for MTV, so it never got to be seen by enough people to leave a mark. Fortunately, with websites like YouTube, this wonderful little video can be rediscovered once again today, and hopefully finally find its audience. Had Miami Vice ever turned into an X-Files type show, this would have been a perfect pilot.
The Voyager with Josh Garcia
(2016– )
An infotaining if lite and touristy, family-friendly, travelogue adventure paid for by the cruse line companies
29 October 2019
Professional travel enthusiast Josh Garcia goes around the world on various cruisers visiting popular tourist-friendly coastal towns and cities (one per episode) for a day, meeting local guides and learning about the places' culture, interesting locations, adventurous activities and, of course, cuisine.
Before each visit, he finds someone on his ship (often an employee of the cruise line) who can tell him something about the place he is about to spend a day in and recommend some activities for him. At the end of the day, Josh returns to the ship and tells this person about his day of adventure, and then writes about it in his journal as end credits roll to use it later for the show's clip show episodes in which he picks three of his favorite adventures with a common theme.
The show is somewhat formulaic because of this, Josh's unusual combination of zen calmness and child-like enthusiasm comes off as benign pandering, the lite tone of the show makes it feel touristy, and his meetings with the people on board who give him ideas on what to do onshore are obviously staged. However, the show's target audience are families with children so it makes sense that everything looks fun, simple and a bit stagy in this long creative ad for the ocean cruise liners which sponsor the show.
If you can look pass these issues, Josh does make for a decent kid-friendly host, the show presents cultural information about the places he's visiting in a fun way (dictionary-esque journal entries which occasionally pop up at the bottom of the screen), and the show does offer some nice vistas to look at.
Basically, if you want to visit some nice locations around the world for 20 minutes, possibly learn something new if basic about them, and watch a guy taking his inner child on a simple if touristy adventure, you can do much worse than this.
Before each visit, he finds someone on his ship (often an employee of the cruise line) who can tell him something about the place he is about to spend a day in and recommend some activities for him. At the end of the day, Josh returns to the ship and tells this person about his day of adventure, and then writes about it in his journal as end credits roll to use it later for the show's clip show episodes in which he picks three of his favorite adventures with a common theme.
The show is somewhat formulaic because of this, Josh's unusual combination of zen calmness and child-like enthusiasm comes off as benign pandering, the lite tone of the show makes it feel touristy, and his meetings with the people on board who give him ideas on what to do onshore are obviously staged. However, the show's target audience are families with children so it makes sense that everything looks fun, simple and a bit stagy in this long creative ad for the ocean cruise liners which sponsor the show.
If you can look pass these issues, Josh does make for a decent kid-friendly host, the show presents cultural information about the places he's visiting in a fun way (dictionary-esque journal entries which occasionally pop up at the bottom of the screen), and the show does offer some nice vistas to look at.
Basically, if you want to visit some nice locations around the world for 20 minutes, possibly learn something new if basic about them, and watch a guy taking his inner child on a simple if touristy adventure, you can do much worse than this.
Take the Tower
(2018– )
A fun, tongue in cheek tribute to both Dolph and 80s and 90s action film era - if you're a fan of that
18 December 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Game shows have always been a staple of television, so it's harder than ever to come up with new, successful and original concepts for this type of television program. Action-themed game shows based around what can freely be described as obstacle courses have gained popularity in recent decades, and now the experimental subgenre of game shows where scripted storylines are combined with more or less typical physical and mental challenges is slowly becoming a thing as well. This is where Take the Tower comes in.
Take a once relatively popular action B movie star who has a sense of humor about himself (so, Steven Seagal is out then) like Dolph Lundgren, have him star as an over the top version of his movie self, and bring in his old fans to pretend to be in one of his movies as heroes and try and beat timed and movie trivia challenges to win cash prizes as well as a chance to meet their favorite villain (for fans of Rocky 4 or Universal Soldier) or hero (for fans of Dark Angel aka I Come in Peace).
In each episode, a team of four contestants consisting of the usually (over)hyped team leader and his or her three teammates take on three scripted challenges before facing Dolph, who plays his meta self (he keeps cracking scripted jokes about himself, his career and the players), but if he was a dangerous crime boss like Kingpin, to win a cash prize and a trip to New York City. Each challenge is based on a concept that could be found in most generic action movies (people locked in a room threatened by a radioactive leak or some kind of explosion), but there is also a challenge taken straight out of the first Mission Impossible film (the high tech ceiling infiltration scene with the infamous sweat drop). Each challenge is tackled by the team leader, who is effectively the hero, and one of his or her teammates whom he or her has to save by completing a task that's usually based around guessing more or less super famous film titles, and then doing some more or less simple physical challenge like hanging from the ceiling while plugging in a computer or navigating a ventilation system before the time runs out.
If the player wins the challenge, his or her teammate is saved. If the player loses, the teammate is sent on the top floor of the building where the show is set to be grated by taunting Dolph and immediately defenestrated. Between the challenges, the players get to play simple q&a games to win some spending money where questions are both about movies (guess which movies a star was in before a "bomb" burns all the money) and of a more trivial, general knowledge type.
The final challenge has the team leader facing Dolph in a simple "Simon says" paintball target shooting contest. If the player wins, he or she gets to go to New York City. If they lose, both them and their entire surviving team is thrown out of the window to their deaths. This means that they get nothing and Dolph gets to gloat. This makes the show a real nailbiter, since even if a team plays a perfect game, wins lots of spending money, and everyone survive to meet Dolph at the end, if they lose the final shootout game, they lose everything.
The biggest flaw of the show is production values, since they clearly could not afford to have more than 5 or 6 type of games per season, but then again the show is suppose to mimic the B action flicks of the 1980s, the 1990s and to an extent current era, so that's not necessarily a bad thing. Although the show is set in the UK and all contestants are Brits, it's real easy to imagine having this show being set anywhere else around the world really. And if the show proves to be a success (although its imdb rating implies otherwise), it's easy to see a knock off of this with for instance Don the Dragon Wilson or even someone more famous like Van Damme.
Besides, all it really takes to enjoy it is to like the star, the team and to be a bit of a cinema buff.
Take a once relatively popular action B movie star who has a sense of humor about himself (so, Steven Seagal is out then) like Dolph Lundgren, have him star as an over the top version of his movie self, and bring in his old fans to pretend to be in one of his movies as heroes and try and beat timed and movie trivia challenges to win cash prizes as well as a chance to meet their favorite villain (for fans of Rocky 4 or Universal Soldier) or hero (for fans of Dark Angel aka I Come in Peace).
In each episode, a team of four contestants consisting of the usually (over)hyped team leader and his or her three teammates take on three scripted challenges before facing Dolph, who plays his meta self (he keeps cracking scripted jokes about himself, his career and the players), but if he was a dangerous crime boss like Kingpin, to win a cash prize and a trip to New York City. Each challenge is based on a concept that could be found in most generic action movies (people locked in a room threatened by a radioactive leak or some kind of explosion), but there is also a challenge taken straight out of the first Mission Impossible film (the high tech ceiling infiltration scene with the infamous sweat drop). Each challenge is tackled by the team leader, who is effectively the hero, and one of his or her teammates whom he or her has to save by completing a task that's usually based around guessing more or less super famous film titles, and then doing some more or less simple physical challenge like hanging from the ceiling while plugging in a computer or navigating a ventilation system before the time runs out.
If the player wins the challenge, his or her teammate is saved. If the player loses, the teammate is sent on the top floor of the building where the show is set to be grated by taunting Dolph and immediately defenestrated. Between the challenges, the players get to play simple q&a games to win some spending money where questions are both about movies (guess which movies a star was in before a "bomb" burns all the money) and of a more trivial, general knowledge type.
The final challenge has the team leader facing Dolph in a simple "Simon says" paintball target shooting contest. If the player wins, he or she gets to go to New York City. If they lose, both them and their entire surviving team is thrown out of the window to their deaths. This means that they get nothing and Dolph gets to gloat. This makes the show a real nailbiter, since even if a team plays a perfect game, wins lots of spending money, and everyone survive to meet Dolph at the end, if they lose the final shootout game, they lose everything.
The biggest flaw of the show is production values, since they clearly could not afford to have more than 5 or 6 type of games per season, but then again the show is suppose to mimic the B action flicks of the 1980s, the 1990s and to an extent current era, so that's not necessarily a bad thing. Although the show is set in the UK and all contestants are Brits, it's real easy to imagine having this show being set anywhere else around the world really. And if the show proves to be a success (although its imdb rating implies otherwise), it's easy to see a knock off of this with for instance Don the Dragon Wilson or even someone more famous like Van Damme.
Besides, all it really takes to enjoy it is to like the star, the team and to be a bit of a cinema buff.
Jokes My Folks Never Told Me
(1978)
1970s equivalent of Epic Movie
7 September 2018
If you know what Epic Movie (2007) is (a relentless, endless barrage of bloody awful and mostly nonsensical jokes), then you have some idea how bad this is. If you don't, good, do not watch either of these movies, unless you really need to see a bunch of incredibly lame, corny and dated jokes that your grandad heard when he was a kid. Seriously, there is barely anything to see here even if you just want some titillation (other than, of course, some boobs (both in literal and pun sense), some male butts and an occasional very 70s lady bush... oh, and a TON of bestiality jokes for some reason, because animal abuse = comedy gold). However, if you really do have to know how bad these awful jokes really are, you can thankfully read all about them in great detail here on imdb in the film's synopsis section. Some of them aren't even jokes really, since they end with lines or twists that don't even begin to resemble an actual punchline.
Evil Monkeys
(2018 TV Special)
Must see for afficionados of "what even is this" television...
5 September 2018
This incredibly silly and quite self-aware show is a perfect example of "what even is this" type of television weirdness that anyone who enjoys offbeat high concept TV offerings really does ought to see.
In a semi-scripted Planet of the Apes spoof scenario, three not-too-smart "celeb" reality show contestants (a hot guy, a hot girl and a cowardly comic relief guy) known for their UK reality-TV series "TOWIE" are sent to an island ruled by super-intelligent apes (played by people in surprisingly convincing costumes) who haze them and present them with several "mute, deaf or blind" challenges which are all part on an actual overarching comedic storyline. If they beat the challenges in satisfactory time, they will earn enough time to beat the final puzzle/obstacle course challenge and win 1 million Japanese yen. You see, the mad scientist who created the super-intelligent apes is from Japan, so they use yen. Also, a million yen sound like A LOT more money than what its actual value converted to GB pounds really is.
Now, is this show any good? You've got to be kidding. However, if you think you've seen it all... no, you have not. This is a whole new level of 'what even' television and it is rather fascinating, and yes, even amusing (although mostly in a guilty pleasure kind of sense). Since that's exactly what the producers were going for, you could say they did their job right. Also, the choice of contestants was a real stroke of genius because they react to all the madness that's happening to them in the exact way you, as a producer who wants to make an attention-grabbing reality-TV comedy, would hope for (i.e. the whole bit about the singer Seal was the perfect storm only this contestants in this type of crazy setting could create).
There is only a single (pilot) episode so far, and I really can't imagine that there can ever be more, because it looks pricey as #### (the extensive 80s and 90s classic rock and pop soundtrack alone would easily bankrupt a mid-budget film).
In a semi-scripted Planet of the Apes spoof scenario, three not-too-smart "celeb" reality show contestants (a hot guy, a hot girl and a cowardly comic relief guy) known for their UK reality-TV series "TOWIE" are sent to an island ruled by super-intelligent apes (played by people in surprisingly convincing costumes) who haze them and present them with several "mute, deaf or blind" challenges which are all part on an actual overarching comedic storyline. If they beat the challenges in satisfactory time, they will earn enough time to beat the final puzzle/obstacle course challenge and win 1 million Japanese yen. You see, the mad scientist who created the super-intelligent apes is from Japan, so they use yen. Also, a million yen sound like A LOT more money than what its actual value converted to GB pounds really is.
Now, is this show any good? You've got to be kidding. However, if you think you've seen it all... no, you have not. This is a whole new level of 'what even' television and it is rather fascinating, and yes, even amusing (although mostly in a guilty pleasure kind of sense). Since that's exactly what the producers were going for, you could say they did their job right. Also, the choice of contestants was a real stroke of genius because they react to all the madness that's happening to them in the exact way you, as a producer who wants to make an attention-grabbing reality-TV comedy, would hope for (i.e. the whole bit about the singer Seal was the perfect storm only this contestants in this type of crazy setting could create).
There is only a single (pilot) episode so far, and I really can't imagine that there can ever be more, because it looks pricey as #### (the extensive 80s and 90s classic rock and pop soundtrack alone would easily bankrupt a mid-budget film).
Prime Time
(2016– )
The one Daily Show-inspired show that surpasses its role model
27 July 2018
While Jon Stewart's Daily Show certainly was not the first news parody show out there, it unquestionably became the most influential show of this type around the globe in recent memory, or at the very least ever since the legendary British satirical puppet show Spitting Image went off the air. There were several reasons for this. Thanks to the Internet and the budding social media, any locally produced content could now reach viewers around the world, Stewart's own simultaneously humorous and heartfelt persona had an aura of integrity, and his remodeled concept of the show (Stewart was not the original host) proved that, instead of simple mockery, news parody can and perhaps should actually be a brutally honest critique of both the hypocrisy and corruption that modern politics propagates and which the voters and often the media for the most part tolerate. Furthermore, many saw this show as the soul and conscience of a lost and traumatized post-9/11 nation, as well as the main source of news and inspiration for the new generation of young people who previously felt disassociated from the world of politics in general. In a word, the show offered not just entertainment (or infotainment) but also true catharsis. Jon's voice became the voice of a common man who had enough of the political and media status quo which at that point was only ensuring that the system continues to rot away even further instead of looking for ways to fix it.
The show was so influential in fact that it produced many clones and spinoffs, not just in America, but around the world. From Egypt to Australia, every aspiring politically-oriented comedian or even just a normal anchor wanted to give his or her best shot at being their countries Jon Stewart.
In America, most people who worked on Jon's show as correspondents eventually left to start their own similar shows. While many failed, some have actually managed to create their own successful spiritual sequels to Jon's show, such as John Oliver with his eponymous HBO show.
Meanwhile, in Croatia, a group of aspiring young comedians and satirists started producing content under the banner of NewsBar. What began as Youtube sketches eventually turned into an actual television show, first aired on Croatian state television, HRT.
Since the gang focused on political satire and humor, the new government under the leadership of right wing HDZ decided to put an end to their non-PC shenanigans which resulted in their cancellation. Thankfully, they later found their new home on the regional independent private television, N1. The cast changed throughout the years until the show found its Jon Stewart(s) in two of its members, Borna Sor and Domagoj Zovak, two millennials who are not afraid to, just like their older American colleague, tell it like it is in a brutally funny and poignant way, even if it hurts the national pride of a common Croat, who does not understand that he and everyone else should always question their government and even the entire system if systemic problems exist and threaten to become permanent because thanks to or even because of the political elite.
When you have the country of 300 million, there will always be enough people to support and even celebrate your "heretical" work, but when you have a country of four and a half million, that's far less likely, if not completely improbable. That's why Jon's crusade made him famous and successful, while Borna and Domagoj are closer to being infamous (if anyone even knows who they are) and struggling to make ends meet. This means that when you, as a journalist, Croat and human, wish to aspire to become the symbol of truth, justice and honesty in a place that by no means guarantees the liberties that most Americans can usually rely on (such as free speech), you risk everything including your life and economic and mental well being, since in an injust place, you are the enemy. That's why people like the two Prime Time hosts deserve much more respect and support even than Jon, because their brilliant little comedic effort fills in the place in society left by the crumbling opposition, bought off media and lack of conscious citizens willing to do something and take back the control over their and their nation's life from the paws of corrupt interest groups that finance the parties in power and most large media outlets that support them.
In conclusion, 'carry on, boys!', because like the song 'We Care a Lot' by 'Faith No More' says "oh, it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it" and in the Balkans (and most other places in the world, unfortunately), it's mostly the investigative journalists and the comedians that care at all, both about the truth in general and their country's fortune.
The show was so influential in fact that it produced many clones and spinoffs, not just in America, but around the world. From Egypt to Australia, every aspiring politically-oriented comedian or even just a normal anchor wanted to give his or her best shot at being their countries Jon Stewart.
In America, most people who worked on Jon's show as correspondents eventually left to start their own similar shows. While many failed, some have actually managed to create their own successful spiritual sequels to Jon's show, such as John Oliver with his eponymous HBO show.
Meanwhile, in Croatia, a group of aspiring young comedians and satirists started producing content under the banner of NewsBar. What began as Youtube sketches eventually turned into an actual television show, first aired on Croatian state television, HRT.
Since the gang focused on political satire and humor, the new government under the leadership of right wing HDZ decided to put an end to their non-PC shenanigans which resulted in their cancellation. Thankfully, they later found their new home on the regional independent private television, N1. The cast changed throughout the years until the show found its Jon Stewart(s) in two of its members, Borna Sor and Domagoj Zovak, two millennials who are not afraid to, just like their older American colleague, tell it like it is in a brutally funny and poignant way, even if it hurts the national pride of a common Croat, who does not understand that he and everyone else should always question their government and even the entire system if systemic problems exist and threaten to become permanent because thanks to or even because of the political elite.
When you have the country of 300 million, there will always be enough people to support and even celebrate your "heretical" work, but when you have a country of four and a half million, that's far less likely, if not completely improbable. That's why Jon's crusade made him famous and successful, while Borna and Domagoj are closer to being infamous (if anyone even knows who they are) and struggling to make ends meet. This means that when you, as a journalist, Croat and human, wish to aspire to become the symbol of truth, justice and honesty in a place that by no means guarantees the liberties that most Americans can usually rely on (such as free speech), you risk everything including your life and economic and mental well being, since in an injust place, you are the enemy. That's why people like the two Prime Time hosts deserve much more respect and support even than Jon, because their brilliant little comedic effort fills in the place in society left by the crumbling opposition, bought off media and lack of conscious citizens willing to do something and take back the control over their and their nation's life from the paws of corrupt interest groups that finance the parties in power and most large media outlets that support them.
In conclusion, 'carry on, boys!', because like the song 'We Care a Lot' by 'Faith No More' says "oh, it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it" and in the Balkans (and most other places in the world, unfortunately), it's mostly the investigative journalists and the comedians that care at all, both about the truth in general and their country's fortune.
The $100,000 Pyramid
(2016– )
Michael Strahan and celebrity guests' competitive attitude make the show
26 July 2018
This show is a nice example of how important it is to pick the right host for your game show to work. Just like Steve Harvey makes the latest incarnation of Celebrity Feud work, Michael Strahan (who looks and sounds like Dr. Jekyll to Mike Tyson's Mr. Hyde) is a very fine fit for the type of show the latest incarnation of The $(xyz) Pyramid is. He's funny when he needs to be, he's quick on his feet, and he makes sure that everyone is having fun despite the huge cash prize that's at stake here.
Every contestant gets his or her celebrity partner, often a comedian, and the more competitive the celeb is, the better the episode turns out. The contestants themselves can also get highly emotional, especially when they lose their money over one dumb word-association question, but then again, there's always the chance of winning the paid 7 days trip to some exotic location as a consolation prize (or an added bonus, if they win both the trip and the money).
The categories that hide the words and phrases the contestants have to guess usually have spectacularly tacky puns or very intentional double entendres for titles (which, ironically, makes this in-theory-family show pretty edgy). As for the words and phrases themselves, they are mostly really simple yet often surprisingly hard to mime or describe. That's one of the things that engages the viewer the most - how will the contestants or the celeb try to explain the word to their game partner, and will the game partner get it? Also, as each game is timed, things really do get pretty tense when there's only 10 seconds left and the celeb guest simply can't figure out what his or her game partner's clues "Attenborough" and "Duchovny" refer to.
At the end of each turn, the contestant and the celeb switch places (the one who was guessing now gets to explain the words and vice versa), at the end of every round, the celebs switch places (each celeb helps one player during the first part of the show, and then goes to assist the other during the second half), and at the end of the game another two teams of celebs and contestants arrive, as each episode actually features two full games.
All in all, it's mostly a tense, fun show with a fitting host that gives you a tiny insight into the ways people associate things both in their minds and under pressure thanks to the show's ticking timer.
Every contestant gets his or her celebrity partner, often a comedian, and the more competitive the celeb is, the better the episode turns out. The contestants themselves can also get highly emotional, especially when they lose their money over one dumb word-association question, but then again, there's always the chance of winning the paid 7 days trip to some exotic location as a consolation prize (or an added bonus, if they win both the trip and the money).
The categories that hide the words and phrases the contestants have to guess usually have spectacularly tacky puns or very intentional double entendres for titles (which, ironically, makes this in-theory-family show pretty edgy). As for the words and phrases themselves, they are mostly really simple yet often surprisingly hard to mime or describe. That's one of the things that engages the viewer the most - how will the contestants or the celeb try to explain the word to their game partner, and will the game partner get it? Also, as each game is timed, things really do get pretty tense when there's only 10 seconds left and the celeb guest simply can't figure out what his or her game partner's clues "Attenborough" and "Duchovny" refer to.
At the end of each turn, the contestant and the celeb switch places (the one who was guessing now gets to explain the words and vice versa), at the end of every round, the celebs switch places (each celeb helps one player during the first part of the show, and then goes to assist the other during the second half), and at the end of the game another two teams of celebs and contestants arrive, as each episode actually features two full games.
All in all, it's mostly a tense, fun show with a fitting host that gives you a tiny insight into the ways people associate things both in their minds and under pressure thanks to the show's ticking timer.
Murder on the Orient Express
(2001 TV Movie)
Fun so-bad-it's-good (un)intentional parody of Christie's classic
28 January 2018
This TV movie was clearly meant to be the pilot for a US version of David Suchet's classic UK Poirot show.
Hulking Alfred Molina joyously replaces Suchet here and that's where the hilarity begins. Poirot is physically a small man, and that's one of the key points of his character - a completely unassuming man with larger than life intellect. Molina is not bad as Poirot but looks nothing like him. Even Albert Finney, who played Poirot in the first and best adaptation of the Orient Express story in the 1974 theatrical film, and is also a pretty big man, had to pretend to be tinier than he is to sell himself as Poirot better.
Other things that make Poirot Poirot like his trademark mustache, love of Belgium and asexuality are also gone. Molina's mustache is more of a tribute to Poirot's than an actual eccentrically unique facial hair. He has a hot foreign girlfriend now (no joke), and ss for his amusing patriotic bravado (he's Belgian, not French, you see) you won't find it here, other than as a throwaway line spoken by another character.
However, despite all of this, Melina actually really is one of the rare good things about this adaptation. The TV cast of characters who play his suspects range, on the other hand, from forgettable to passable, but they aren't the worst thing about this movie either. No, the worst thing about this film is the attempt to modernize the story by setting it in present day IT savvy world, which (un)intentionally brings in so many plot and logic holes that you can build a tunnel out of them. This had to be done carefully and thoughtfully but it wasn't. It was done bluntly and carelessly. As a result there are so many ridiculous and (un)intentionally hilarious moments, and they aren't even all related to the fetishistic use of technology in the movie.
For instance, Poirot touches every piece of evidence with his bare hands because he's sure "that the killer didn't leave any fingerprints" on them. The police of any country would have immediately arrested him on the spot just for this. Maybe in 1934, when the book and almost all other adaptations of the story are set, they actually could have gotten away with this (although in most adaptations, Poirot actually uses a handkerchief to hold and inspect evidence, never his bare hands), but in 2001, with DNA evidence and fingerprints technology being a crucial part of any serious investigation, what Poirot does here is the dictionary definition of the term 'contaminating the crime scene'. Also, the murder plan as is doesn't really work in modern times either because of this, since any proper forensic investigation of the dead man's cabin would have easily uncovered inconsistencies in the killer's story.
Another silly thing about the movie is that it's not set in winter. It's actually set in what appears to be autumn and the train doesn't end up being snowed in, but a cave in causes the train to stop. The fact that they are not really stranded in the middle of nowhere, and that the passengers could easily simply leave the train, walk around the pile of rocks on the tracks and get on another train, possibly the one that brought the workers to clear the road, which could then take them to their destination, comes to no one's mind at any point.
Finally, the way they use technology in the movie may be the most blunt way of doing this in a mystery ever. You see, Poirot simply googles the passengers to try and uncover the culprit. It is as stupidly funny as it sounds. Also, some of the suspects are now a software engineer, a fitness instructor and the widow of a deposed and killed South American dictator!
And then there's the hilarious happy-go-lucky epilogue that completely ruins any dramatic effect that the mostly fateful ending may have had on the audience. Seriously, this epilogue feels like the script originally truly was suppose to be for a parody.
The odd thing about all this is that the movie does actually have some fan service and in-joke bits. For instance, the fitness instructor is a fan of Poirot's work and actually references some of his old cases from the books. So, whoever wrote this mess clearly did read Poirot's books.
In conclusion, watch the 1974 version for the full dramatic and emotional effect of this ingenious story (it's no false praise to say that this Agatha Christie tale is one of the most uniquely original crime mysteries ever written), and only then see this US TV version, especially if you're looking to have a good laugh (this is genuinely a so-bad-it's-good movie, and often (un)intentionally funnier than most comedies) or simply enjoy Molina as an actor (he really could have had a good Poirot run on TV, like the equally hulky Peter Ustinov before him in the 1980's, and it's truly sad that this inept adaptation had to be the pilot for this project and immediately and effectively kill off any chance for a further Molina Poirot series) or you simply wish to see every Murder on the Orient Express adaptation out there (the plot itself is mostly the same as the one in the book, so you should get at least something out of it then).
As an (un)intentional comedy and because of Molina, I give it a 6 (although, if judged realistically for what it's meant to be, it's closer to a 3 or a 4).
Hulking Alfred Molina joyously replaces Suchet here and that's where the hilarity begins. Poirot is physically a small man, and that's one of the key points of his character - a completely unassuming man with larger than life intellect. Molina is not bad as Poirot but looks nothing like him. Even Albert Finney, who played Poirot in the first and best adaptation of the Orient Express story in the 1974 theatrical film, and is also a pretty big man, had to pretend to be tinier than he is to sell himself as Poirot better.
Other things that make Poirot Poirot like his trademark mustache, love of Belgium and asexuality are also gone. Molina's mustache is more of a tribute to Poirot's than an actual eccentrically unique facial hair. He has a hot foreign girlfriend now (no joke), and ss for his amusing patriotic bravado (he's Belgian, not French, you see) you won't find it here, other than as a throwaway line spoken by another character.
However, despite all of this, Melina actually really is one of the rare good things about this adaptation. The TV cast of characters who play his suspects range, on the other hand, from forgettable to passable, but they aren't the worst thing about this movie either. No, the worst thing about this film is the attempt to modernize the story by setting it in present day IT savvy world, which (un)intentionally brings in so many plot and logic holes that you can build a tunnel out of them. This had to be done carefully and thoughtfully but it wasn't. It was done bluntly and carelessly. As a result there are so many ridiculous and (un)intentionally hilarious moments, and they aren't even all related to the fetishistic use of technology in the movie.
For instance, Poirot touches every piece of evidence with his bare hands because he's sure "that the killer didn't leave any fingerprints" on them. The police of any country would have immediately arrested him on the spot just for this. Maybe in 1934, when the book and almost all other adaptations of the story are set, they actually could have gotten away with this (although in most adaptations, Poirot actually uses a handkerchief to hold and inspect evidence, never his bare hands), but in 2001, with DNA evidence and fingerprints technology being a crucial part of any serious investigation, what Poirot does here is the dictionary definition of the term 'contaminating the crime scene'. Also, the murder plan as is doesn't really work in modern times either because of this, since any proper forensic investigation of the dead man's cabin would have easily uncovered inconsistencies in the killer's story.
Another silly thing about the movie is that it's not set in winter. It's actually set in what appears to be autumn and the train doesn't end up being snowed in, but a cave in causes the train to stop. The fact that they are not really stranded in the middle of nowhere, and that the passengers could easily simply leave the train, walk around the pile of rocks on the tracks and get on another train, possibly the one that brought the workers to clear the road, which could then take them to their destination, comes to no one's mind at any point.
Finally, the way they use technology in the movie may be the most blunt way of doing this in a mystery ever. You see, Poirot simply googles the passengers to try and uncover the culprit. It is as stupidly funny as it sounds. Also, some of the suspects are now a software engineer, a fitness instructor and the widow of a deposed and killed South American dictator!
And then there's the hilarious happy-go-lucky epilogue that completely ruins any dramatic effect that the mostly fateful ending may have had on the audience. Seriously, this epilogue feels like the script originally truly was suppose to be for a parody.
The odd thing about all this is that the movie does actually have some fan service and in-joke bits. For instance, the fitness instructor is a fan of Poirot's work and actually references some of his old cases from the books. So, whoever wrote this mess clearly did read Poirot's books.
In conclusion, watch the 1974 version for the full dramatic and emotional effect of this ingenious story (it's no false praise to say that this Agatha Christie tale is one of the most uniquely original crime mysteries ever written), and only then see this US TV version, especially if you're looking to have a good laugh (this is genuinely a so-bad-it's-good movie, and often (un)intentionally funnier than most comedies) or simply enjoy Molina as an actor (he really could have had a good Poirot run on TV, like the equally hulky Peter Ustinov before him in the 1980's, and it's truly sad that this inept adaptation had to be the pilot for this project and immediately and effectively kill off any chance for a further Molina Poirot series) or you simply wish to see every Murder on the Orient Express adaptation out there (the plot itself is mostly the same as the one in the book, so you should get at least something out of it then).
As an (un)intentional comedy and because of Molina, I give it a 6 (although, if judged realistically for what it's meant to be, it's closer to a 3 or a 4).
Dougal and the Blue Cat
(1970)
The Big H Allegory
15 December 2017
Warning: Spoilers
This unique stop motion cartoon based on the French children's show of the same name (later dubbed into English for the UK and international market) that gained huge popularity in Europe (especially England and France) in the 1970s is sadly forgotten today, primarily because it never reached the US market, and today's pop culture memory is heavily influenced by whatever it is that the Americans remember.
A lot of adults who grew up watching this on TV do remember it however, but most of them had not seen the movie since and can't quite put their finger on why this movie, much more than the cartoon itself, was so weird and scary.
I've seen it recently and I'd say there are two reasons for this, one of them being the unique combination of stop motion puppetry and idyllic rustic setting where talking animals live in harmony (a more rural and European take on Winnie the Pooh's 100 Acre Wood in a way) contrasted by the evil cat and its plan to destroy everything and everyone in the world not fortunate enough to be born blue like him.
The other reason is that the movie includes elements of occultism (the haunted factory of the evil blue essence) as well as some plot aspects that seem to imply that the story is a loose allegory where the cat represents somewhat of a "child-friendly" version of Hitler. The cat is basically a racial (or "colorial") supremacist that takes command of a ruthless like-minded army to purge the world of all life and things that are not supreme and pure like him color-wise (i.e. blue). It hardly gets more "Hitlery" than that. For the creators of the show WWII was not some distant memory but a very real event that happened to them or just before their time, so it's not that big of a stretch to consider the possibility that it did influence their writing for this movie, just like it inspired the works of so many others from the era.
Anyway, here's the point - not only should you show this to your kids (it's scary in a good way) but you should also see it again for yourselves and realize from a grown up viewpoint how deep this silly little cartoon actually is. If only someone in America could spotlight this film today, I'm sure it'd quickly find its place among other (un)intentional children horror classics of the 20th century out there.
By the way, that rabbit is totally stoned off his rocker!
A lot of adults who grew up watching this on TV do remember it however, but most of them had not seen the movie since and can't quite put their finger on why this movie, much more than the cartoon itself, was so weird and scary.
I've seen it recently and I'd say there are two reasons for this, one of them being the unique combination of stop motion puppetry and idyllic rustic setting where talking animals live in harmony (a more rural and European take on Winnie the Pooh's 100 Acre Wood in a way) contrasted by the evil cat and its plan to destroy everything and everyone in the world not fortunate enough to be born blue like him.
The other reason is that the movie includes elements of occultism (the haunted factory of the evil blue essence) as well as some plot aspects that seem to imply that the story is a loose allegory where the cat represents somewhat of a "child-friendly" version of Hitler. The cat is basically a racial (or "colorial") supremacist that takes command of a ruthless like-minded army to purge the world of all life and things that are not supreme and pure like him color-wise (i.e. blue). It hardly gets more "Hitlery" than that. For the creators of the show WWII was not some distant memory but a very real event that happened to them or just before their time, so it's not that big of a stretch to consider the possibility that it did influence their writing for this movie, just like it inspired the works of so many others from the era.
Anyway, here's the point - not only should you show this to your kids (it's scary in a good way) but you should also see it again for yourselves and realize from a grown up viewpoint how deep this silly little cartoon actually is. If only someone in America could spotlight this film today, I'm sure it'd quickly find its place among other (un)intentional children horror classics of the 20th century out there.
By the way, that rabbit is totally stoned off his rocker!
Alfred Hitchcock Presents
(1985–1989)
Initially, a slick 80s update of classic Hitchcockian stories, that later added its own original tales... for better or worse
22 January 2017
Warning: Spoilers
This may be the first time that I'm truly surprised that a title here on IMDb has no user reviews. This show may not have been as popular as the genre anthology classics like The Twilight Zone, Tales from the Crypt, The Outer Limits or even The Ray Bradbury Theater and the original Alfred Hitchcock Presents but it certainly isn't some forgotten, obscure, one-off like Orson Welles' Scene of the Crime (1984) or Darkroom (1981). Ironically, both of these have IMDb user reviews.
The show did have three things against it, though. It tried too hard to use the original's fame to promote itself, at least at first, and this was at the time when remakes were rarely popular if the original was still beloved (i.e. the maligned 1970s version of King Kong and its even more hated 1980s sequel or the original Godzilla vs. the first American Godzilla aka Godzilla 1985 or even John Carpenter's The Thing, a classic now but incredibly hated back when it first came out in 1982). Strike two for the show was that its own original stories were often not as strong as the ones from the 50s (sometimes to the point of being straight up generic garbage). Since the budget got lower and lower with each season (especially after the first season failed, so the show got picked up by a different TV network), even the visuals couldn't fix a bad episode. Finally, the producers of the show had controversially decided to colorize and reuse the introductory sequences from the 1950s version with, by the 1980s unfortunately very much late, Alfred Hitchcock himself. Although intriguing to some, this move was more often seen as a creepy gimmick to be made fun of, while others even saw it as nothing less than pure sacrilege and insultingly cynical desecration.
On the other hand, the show definitely had its strengths as well. The remakes of the classic 50s and forgotten 60s episodes (the show is a remake of both classic "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" (1955) and the now completely forgotten "The Alfred Hitchcock Hour" (1962) anthologies) were often actually good 80s-fied updates, whether they were near shot-for-shot remakes (season 1 episode "Revenge" for example) or with its own small twists added to the mix (season 1 episode Road Hog) or sometimes even actually better than the original 1950s version (Martin Sheen's fresh meta/in-joke take on Robert Duvall's original episode Method Actor, again in season 1). However, some episodes also gleefully fed on 80s cynicism and really dark and bleak twists, which sometimes worked in a macabre way (season 1's Final Escape) and sometimes ended up being just plain sinister and disturbing (like in season 1's The Night Caller or possibly the bleakest and darkest episode of the entire show - season 1's The Gloating Place).
The show also featured dark comedic tales like Tim Burton's The Jar (season 1 again) or even light comedies (like season 1 episode The Canary Sedan, one of the 1950s stories that received a complete overhaul, for better or worse). There were even a couple of sci-fi episodes like "The Human Interest Story" (season 1's remake of the 50s episode) and "Romance Machine" (season 4), both a mediocre mix between this show and The Outer Limits.
As it was the case with other similar shows, many people who were famous at the time or were about to hit it big guest starred in season 1 (from John Huston and Melanie Griffith in the pilot's second segment Man from the South to Robert Loggia and very, very young Joaquin Phoenix in A Very Happy Ending). Some famous faces from TV at the time (like "The Equalizer" (1985) himself, Edward Woodward, in the show's only two-parter called Hunted, that served as the season 3 finale) or B-movies (like charismatic John Vernon in season 2's Conversation Over a Corpse) or aged stars (like The Good, the Bad and the Ugly star Eli Wallach in season 3 episode Kandinsky's Vault) appeared in later seasons as well but much less frequently.
Later, the stories became much more formulaic and mediocre, so the writers relied on the twists to salvage them. These plot twists and twist endings reached the point of intentional self-parody with episodes like "Twist" in season 3.
By season 4 (its final season) the show mixed things up a bit and tried some new tricks (again, for better or worse). For instance, it featured a number of in-joke episodes that served as tributes, either to other titles or actors. "The Prisoner" and "The Avengers" star Patrick Macnee appeared in this season's Survival of the Fittest as a retired top operative. George Lazenby, the forgotten one-off James Bond of On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969) fame played a similar tongue-in-cheek role in Diamonds Aren't Forever. TV western and b-movie star Doug McClure appeared in a similarly tributary role in season 4's Ancient Voices, while the episode My Dear Watson actually featured Sherlock Holmes as protagonist. The show's underwhelming finale "South by Southeast" was a direct parody of Hitchcock's classic film "North by Northwest".
The lowest point for the show probably came with a couple of infamous final season episodes that suspiciously felt and looked like blatant backdoor pilots. The most notorious of these are probably "Night Creatures", the only supernatural horror episode in the whole show, that was clearly made as a pilot for a vampire hunter series, and The Man Who Knew Too Little, again clearly made as a pilot for a series based on Hitchcock's classic film.
Overall, this show is an interesting 80s TV time capsule exactly because of it's uneven quality. While most people won't care about a show like this today (most audience apparently didn't care even when the show was new), for anthology aficionados, 80s TV lovers or Hitchcockian completests, this is a show that ought to be seen.
The show did have three things against it, though. It tried too hard to use the original's fame to promote itself, at least at first, and this was at the time when remakes were rarely popular if the original was still beloved (i.e. the maligned 1970s version of King Kong and its even more hated 1980s sequel or the original Godzilla vs. the first American Godzilla aka Godzilla 1985 or even John Carpenter's The Thing, a classic now but incredibly hated back when it first came out in 1982). Strike two for the show was that its own original stories were often not as strong as the ones from the 50s (sometimes to the point of being straight up generic garbage). Since the budget got lower and lower with each season (especially after the first season failed, so the show got picked up by a different TV network), even the visuals couldn't fix a bad episode. Finally, the producers of the show had controversially decided to colorize and reuse the introductory sequences from the 1950s version with, by the 1980s unfortunately very much late, Alfred Hitchcock himself. Although intriguing to some, this move was more often seen as a creepy gimmick to be made fun of, while others even saw it as nothing less than pure sacrilege and insultingly cynical desecration.
On the other hand, the show definitely had its strengths as well. The remakes of the classic 50s and forgotten 60s episodes (the show is a remake of both classic "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" (1955) and the now completely forgotten "The Alfred Hitchcock Hour" (1962) anthologies) were often actually good 80s-fied updates, whether they were near shot-for-shot remakes (season 1 episode "Revenge" for example) or with its own small twists added to the mix (season 1 episode Road Hog) or sometimes even actually better than the original 1950s version (Martin Sheen's fresh meta/in-joke take on Robert Duvall's original episode Method Actor, again in season 1). However, some episodes also gleefully fed on 80s cynicism and really dark and bleak twists, which sometimes worked in a macabre way (season 1's Final Escape) and sometimes ended up being just plain sinister and disturbing (like in season 1's The Night Caller or possibly the bleakest and darkest episode of the entire show - season 1's The Gloating Place).
The show also featured dark comedic tales like Tim Burton's The Jar (season 1 again) or even light comedies (like season 1 episode The Canary Sedan, one of the 1950s stories that received a complete overhaul, for better or worse). There were even a couple of sci-fi episodes like "The Human Interest Story" (season 1's remake of the 50s episode) and "Romance Machine" (season 4), both a mediocre mix between this show and The Outer Limits.
As it was the case with other similar shows, many people who were famous at the time or were about to hit it big guest starred in season 1 (from John Huston and Melanie Griffith in the pilot's second segment Man from the South to Robert Loggia and very, very young Joaquin Phoenix in A Very Happy Ending). Some famous faces from TV at the time (like "The Equalizer" (1985) himself, Edward Woodward, in the show's only two-parter called Hunted, that served as the season 3 finale) or B-movies (like charismatic John Vernon in season 2's Conversation Over a Corpse) or aged stars (like The Good, the Bad and the Ugly star Eli Wallach in season 3 episode Kandinsky's Vault) appeared in later seasons as well but much less frequently.
Later, the stories became much more formulaic and mediocre, so the writers relied on the twists to salvage them. These plot twists and twist endings reached the point of intentional self-parody with episodes like "Twist" in season 3.
By season 4 (its final season) the show mixed things up a bit and tried some new tricks (again, for better or worse). For instance, it featured a number of in-joke episodes that served as tributes, either to other titles or actors. "The Prisoner" and "The Avengers" star Patrick Macnee appeared in this season's Survival of the Fittest as a retired top operative. George Lazenby, the forgotten one-off James Bond of On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969) fame played a similar tongue-in-cheek role in Diamonds Aren't Forever. TV western and b-movie star Doug McClure appeared in a similarly tributary role in season 4's Ancient Voices, while the episode My Dear Watson actually featured Sherlock Holmes as protagonist. The show's underwhelming finale "South by Southeast" was a direct parody of Hitchcock's classic film "North by Northwest".
The lowest point for the show probably came with a couple of infamous final season episodes that suspiciously felt and looked like blatant backdoor pilots. The most notorious of these are probably "Night Creatures", the only supernatural horror episode in the whole show, that was clearly made as a pilot for a vampire hunter series, and The Man Who Knew Too Little, again clearly made as a pilot for a series based on Hitchcock's classic film.
Overall, this show is an interesting 80s TV time capsule exactly because of it's uneven quality. While most people won't care about a show like this today (most audience apparently didn't care even when the show was new), for anthology aficionados, 80s TV lovers or Hitchcockian completests, this is a show that ought to be seen.
One Boy, One Wolf, One Summer
(1988 TV Movie)
A nice if a bit over the top Canadian short family drama about a rancher dad, his city slicker son and a troublesome white wolf
3 January 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Michael Ironside is usually great in anything he does (even when the project itself is just terrible) and this short Canadian family drama about a small-time hard-working US(?) rancher who's trying to get his computer-loving city slicker son to stop being so self-centered and give him a hand for once so they can hunt down a wolf that's been praying on their livestock is no exception.
Ironside is perfect as Don, the intense, experienced rancher and no nonsense but still loving dad. Unfortunately, the guy who's playing his college-aged kid Tim... well, not so much. He also appeared in a Friday the 13th movie and his pretty uneven and sometimes over the top acting definitely fits better there.
The story begins like a typical family drama about a son and dad who argue a lot but end up bonding after spending some time together and understanding each other's outlook on life better, but then the moment comes when Don asks Tim to shoot and kill the beautiful white wolf that's been preying on their cows. That's when Tim decides to protect the wolf in a way PETA would be proud of and stand up to his, up to this point, quite reasonable father. The main theme of the movie shifts at this point and the movie goes in a somewhat (un)predictable and a bit silly and over the top direction.
Now, it's not that there's something wrong with the morality play that ensues, it's just that it doesn't really gel all that well with the way the first half of the movie was executed. The fact that Tim comes off as somewhat annoying due to poor characterization (or acting) doesn't help either.
After a bit of tragedy, the story ends in a somewhat cheerful way and the questionable lesson is learned... I guess.
The movie is shot really well and makes the beautiful locations feel homey. This is the way nostalgic people remember the 80s.
The side characters are barely in the movie and serve primarily to set up the plot. Only Don's loving wife and Tim's worried mom Mary gets a slightly bigger role than that.
Overall the movie is fun for what it is, short enough to finish it even if you don't like it, and can be seen by almost anyone (although, there is a somewhat gory short scene in which Don and Tim find a dead cow that's been slaughtered by an animal and in another scene Tim gets to drink a beer with his dad but Tim is basically an adult so it doesn't feel wrong).
If you love Mr. Ironside, see the movie if you get a chance and the same goes for those who like (family) movies about cowboys/ranchers or environmentalism/animal rights or just like watching pretty western locations of the more grassy kind.
The movie was made for Canadian CBC and unfortunately only exists in VHS format but it does occasionally pop up online or on Youtube.
Ironside is perfect as Don, the intense, experienced rancher and no nonsense but still loving dad. Unfortunately, the guy who's playing his college-aged kid Tim... well, not so much. He also appeared in a Friday the 13th movie and his pretty uneven and sometimes over the top acting definitely fits better there.
The story begins like a typical family drama about a son and dad who argue a lot but end up bonding after spending some time together and understanding each other's outlook on life better, but then the moment comes when Don asks Tim to shoot and kill the beautiful white wolf that's been preying on their cows. That's when Tim decides to protect the wolf in a way PETA would be proud of and stand up to his, up to this point, quite reasonable father. The main theme of the movie shifts at this point and the movie goes in a somewhat (un)predictable and a bit silly and over the top direction.
Now, it's not that there's something wrong with the morality play that ensues, it's just that it doesn't really gel all that well with the way the first half of the movie was executed. The fact that Tim comes off as somewhat annoying due to poor characterization (or acting) doesn't help either.
After a bit of tragedy, the story ends in a somewhat cheerful way and the questionable lesson is learned... I guess.
The movie is shot really well and makes the beautiful locations feel homey. This is the way nostalgic people remember the 80s.
The side characters are barely in the movie and serve primarily to set up the plot. Only Don's loving wife and Tim's worried mom Mary gets a slightly bigger role than that.
Overall the movie is fun for what it is, short enough to finish it even if you don't like it, and can be seen by almost anyone (although, there is a somewhat gory short scene in which Don and Tim find a dead cow that's been slaughtered by an animal and in another scene Tim gets to drink a beer with his dad but Tim is basically an adult so it doesn't feel wrong).
If you love Mr. Ironside, see the movie if you get a chance and the same goes for those who like (family) movies about cowboys/ranchers or environmentalism/animal rights or just like watching pretty western locations of the more grassy kind.
The movie was made for Canadian CBC and unfortunately only exists in VHS format but it does occasionally pop up online or on Youtube.
Psycho-Pass: The Movie
(2015)
Not a bad addition to the Psycho-Pass franchise
15 September 2015
It's the year 2116 and Japan is more or less the only stable country in the world thanks to the introduction of the Sybil System, a bio-computer surveillance system built to pacify the country and replace the police. The system is now subtly taking over various less notable roles of the government one at a time as well due to its unmatched rationality and effectiveness. For the first time since its introduction, the Japanese government has agreed to export the Sibyl System to another country. SEAUn or the South East Asia Union is a neighboring territory torn by a long-running civil war. The strongest of the armed factions has managed to set up a military government but now needs help with restoring order and defeating the rebels and the Sybil System should be able to help with both. This experiment will show how well the Sybil System can be implemented outside of pacifist Japan. Meanwhile, a small team of armed rebels from the SEAU manages to enter Japan in secret, but is then intercepted by Inspector Tsunemori, the protagonist of the TV series the movie's based on, and her team. One of the rebels is caught and forcibly brain-scanned. His fragmented memory reveals that Shinya Kogami, Tsunemori's former enforcer who went rogue and disappeared three years ago is now one of the rebel leaders. Tsunemori asks to be sent alone to Shambala Float, the current capital of the SEAU, where, as an experiment, the military government has already introduced the Sybil System, to find and apprehend Kogami. Her boss agrees. The official reason for her visit to Shambala Float will be the inspection of the implementation of the Sybil System. Tsunemori is about to leave Japan for the first time and visit a place where violence is an everyday occurrence. As she begins her investigation, a mercenary group is sent to take Kogami out of the picture and if Tsunemori comes in their way, that's an acceptable collateral damage.
The movie overall is something that could easily have been adapted into one half of the next Psycho-Pass season and if that were the case, it'd probably have had more time to develop the setting and the problems that this new situation of Sybil expanding abroad has created. Still, everything that Psycho-Pass fans want is still here, if to a lesser degree, and we finally get to see what happened to Kogami after season 1. The idea for the plot is excellent and it's the next logical step after the events of the first two seasons. However, the plot is also more or less rather predictable even for someone who's never seen the show before. The visuals are great as usual (it's more or less the same quality of animation drawn for the show) and the movie features a few neat visual moments just like the show frequently does, although again, there's a certain fine lack of ambition here as well, which you notice during those neat moments when the visuals kick it up a notch. There's a surprising amount of Japanese-spoken English in the movie (Japanese actors talk in heavily accented English), since the two countries in the movie use English to communicate with one another when their automatic translator isn't on (yes, there's an automatic translator almost as efficient as the one in Star Trek). There are also tidbits of philosophical debate sprinkled here and there in the dialogue.
Overall, while season one of the show is still the best part of the series and season 2 more or less successfully adds new shades of gray to the world through new issues, conflicts and characters, this movie is a decent "sidequel" addition to the franchise nonetheless, and if you view it as a single extended episode of the show that's primarily focused on a single new world-building issue, instead of some epic event for the show, you won't have too much problems with it (other than that gnawing sense of lackluster ambition).
The movie overall is something that could easily have been adapted into one half of the next Psycho-Pass season and if that were the case, it'd probably have had more time to develop the setting and the problems that this new situation of Sybil expanding abroad has created. Still, everything that Psycho-Pass fans want is still here, if to a lesser degree, and we finally get to see what happened to Kogami after season 1. The idea for the plot is excellent and it's the next logical step after the events of the first two seasons. However, the plot is also more or less rather predictable even for someone who's never seen the show before. The visuals are great as usual (it's more or less the same quality of animation drawn for the show) and the movie features a few neat visual moments just like the show frequently does, although again, there's a certain fine lack of ambition here as well, which you notice during those neat moments when the visuals kick it up a notch. There's a surprising amount of Japanese-spoken English in the movie (Japanese actors talk in heavily accented English), since the two countries in the movie use English to communicate with one another when their automatic translator isn't on (yes, there's an automatic translator almost as efficient as the one in Star Trek). There are also tidbits of philosophical debate sprinkled here and there in the dialogue.
Overall, while season one of the show is still the best part of the series and season 2 more or less successfully adds new shades of gray to the world through new issues, conflicts and characters, this movie is a decent "sidequel" addition to the franchise nonetheless, and if you view it as a single extended episode of the show that's primarily focused on a single new world-building issue, instead of some epic event for the show, you won't have too much problems with it (other than that gnawing sense of lackluster ambition).
Treasure Island
(1995 TV Movie)
Some second hand info about the production...
2 March 2015
Ken Russell was a highly talented director who lost his ties to the industry in the late 80s. 90s were very difficult time for him for various reasons. During this era, he worked on some pretty obscure and poor material. This no-budget musical comedy with a twist (in this adaptation, Silver is a woman) based on a classic novel is unfortunately one of them.
Instead of an actual review, here's a copy of a public post made by a Youtube user, who claimed to have worked on the movie in a minor role. This is highly informative AND as good as any normal review.
Quote:
I do have a VHS copy of this somewhere, recorded off-air: I was in it!. It was a strange thing - its main purpose was as a vehicle for Ken's then (third) wife, an actress and would-be sex goddess called Hetty Baynes with whom the 68-year old Ken was somewhat obsessed at the time. Ken tried to do it all on a shoestring, shooting on low-res video in cheap locations like the Cutty Sark ship at Greenwich, and in some sand dunes in Cornwall - most of the rest was done at Pinewood, both on the sound stages and outside in very English-looking woodland! He even tried to save money by using amateur actors found at open London auditions, though that was mainly a publicity stunt - in the event they were so awful he cast professionals in most of the leads (though not, alas, Jim Hawkins, who was excruciating). One of the other amateurs, playing a member of the pirate crew, walked out halfway through the shoot, and Ken was in despair until someone noticed the sound engineer looked a bit like him. He was duly dressed in the costume and shot for the remaining scenes, and two quite different people ended up playing the same part! The other challenge was that Ken had a major heart attack just after we'd started, and the whole thing was postponed for months. When he finally came back he was pretty sick man, and had lost what remained of his famous daring and energy. What could have been a bizarre but entertainingly surreal and freaky piece turned into a very damp squib, and is undoubtedly the worst thing I've done in over 40 years as an actor - so bad was it that when the lights came up at the end of the first screening there was no applause, just a completely stunned silence!
Instead of an actual review, here's a copy of a public post made by a Youtube user, who claimed to have worked on the movie in a minor role. This is highly informative AND as good as any normal review.
Quote:
I do have a VHS copy of this somewhere, recorded off-air: I was in it!. It was a strange thing - its main purpose was as a vehicle for Ken's then (third) wife, an actress and would-be sex goddess called Hetty Baynes with whom the 68-year old Ken was somewhat obsessed at the time. Ken tried to do it all on a shoestring, shooting on low-res video in cheap locations like the Cutty Sark ship at Greenwich, and in some sand dunes in Cornwall - most of the rest was done at Pinewood, both on the sound stages and outside in very English-looking woodland! He even tried to save money by using amateur actors found at open London auditions, though that was mainly a publicity stunt - in the event they were so awful he cast professionals in most of the leads (though not, alas, Jim Hawkins, who was excruciating). One of the other amateurs, playing a member of the pirate crew, walked out halfway through the shoot, and Ken was in despair until someone noticed the sound engineer looked a bit like him. He was duly dressed in the costume and shot for the remaining scenes, and two quite different people ended up playing the same part! The other challenge was that Ken had a major heart attack just after we'd started, and the whole thing was postponed for months. When he finally came back he was pretty sick man, and had lost what remained of his famous daring and energy. What could have been a bizarre but entertainingly surreal and freaky piece turned into a very damp squib, and is undoubtedly the worst thing I've done in over 40 years as an actor - so bad was it that when the lights came up at the end of the first screening there was no applause, just a completely stunned silence!
Corto Maltese: Heads and Mushrooms
(2002 TV Movie)
Perhaps Corto's most controversial animated adventure
23 November 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Circa 2002, several French and Italian production companies and TV channels joined forces to create an animated series of shorts and features based on the adventures of popular Italian comic book character Corto Maltese, a laconic adventurer and former sea captain who travels all across Europe and its colonies as well as Asia, South America and other places during the 1910s and the 1920s and witnesses first hand the many horrors and atrocities that the brutal bloody history of the early 20th century had to offer, from World War I to various civil wars and communist and other revolutions. This is why the comic book was (and still is) very popular in Europe, but is virtually unknown in the US.
Every story has a basic formula - Corto is hired, convinced or has reasons of his own to go to a certain exotic location where treasure, people or mystery await, but gets caught up in local infighting on the way there and becomes a witness to history. With the help from the people he meets along the way, he eventually reaches his goal, only to discover that the trip was more interesting than the destination. This time, however, Corto takes things into his own hands straight away and things get much more personal for him.
Corto himself is a trustworthy tall, thin, slick, charming man with very sentimental and laconic view of life, who easily makes friends and can handle himself in most fights, although on occasion he does act brash and bites off more than he can chew. Corto has no problems with violence or killing when deemed necessary, but he is disturbed by death and pain of the innocents. He often tries to help those oppressed or in need he meets on his journeys, which often gets him into serious trouble. However, he never fights lost battles and has a distinctive sense of self-preservation, as well as lots of acquaintances and luck. The ladies are often attracted to his charm, attitude and willingness to take action, but also to his slight naiveté that sometimes they and even some of his temporary allies try to take advantage of. However, Corto is no James Bond and while he often cares about his female companions in a platonic way, he rarely beds the girl, unless he's actually interested in her. Girls get to play important roles for Corto here as well, save for the first out of the three stories.
One could call him the European Indiana Jones, although Corto, as a fan of poetry and art, has only superficial knowledge of archeology, kills somewhat more indiscriminatingly, often waxes poetic and his world is much more adult, dramatic and darker than Indy's with little to no magical, fantastical or sci-fi elements.
The tree stories presented here all have the unique quality of being a good material for a short as well as a feature film. Each of them focuses on just one part of the formula that makes most of Corto's adventures and perfects it. This gives the movie a semblance of a thematic three-part structure even though the stories are not interlinked in any way. The first short about Corto's search for El Dorado focuses in a brutal yet subversive way on the final part of the formula - the cynical futility of a seemingly profitable endeavor that can easily turn into a nightmare. In a way, this story is also a comment on fate and the ways people deal with it (another theme close but not pleasant to Corto). The second story about the deadly game of political corruption Corto becomes involved with in Honduras focuses on his contact with people and the profit and the problems it brings. The third and perhaps his most controversial adventure out of all of his animated endeavors focuses on his involvement with the local issues and politics when Corto decides to help his friends (who happen to be members of the IRA) fight the Brits. Although Corto gets himself involved with several historical political issues along the course of his adventures, almost all of them are long gone history today, but the IRA and the British presence in Ireland are issues that are still present in public discourse even today to an extent. Although Corto clearly supports the Irish independence here, seeing it as just another rebellion against colonization, the main reason why he's doing what he's doing here is not really politics, but his loyalty to his Irish friends who just happen to be members of the IRA. This theme of loyalty thematically wraps up all these elements of a Corto formula.
Most Corto's adventures are like a cross between an old b&w Hollywood epic adventure combined with the sensibilities of a serious historian. Although Corto's feats may seem ridiculous at times, the locations he visits and the events he witnesses are presented in a highly atmospheric, quite brutal and often realistic way with a touch of comical, while the slow depressing intensity of the adventure never dissipates. The stylistic brooding conservative art design is quite atmospheric, very faithful to the comic and the animation looks less cheep than it is. You'd never guess the films were partly animated in North Korea (no joke).
In the end, the potential controversy that the IRA storyline may stir up, the risky ending of the El Dorado episode that may not sit well with some, and the fact that the elements of a true Corto experience are split here in three separate story lines, makes this a less than ideal introduction to Corto's adventures, but it is a decent (if highly episodic) Corto adventure, nonetheless.
The movie is available on DVD and has English audio track, which is not the best, but it gets the job done. You can also get "Corto Maltese - Collector's Edition" that's in English and contains all of Corto's animated adventures.
Every story has a basic formula - Corto is hired, convinced or has reasons of his own to go to a certain exotic location where treasure, people or mystery await, but gets caught up in local infighting on the way there and becomes a witness to history. With the help from the people he meets along the way, he eventually reaches his goal, only to discover that the trip was more interesting than the destination. This time, however, Corto takes things into his own hands straight away and things get much more personal for him.
Corto himself is a trustworthy tall, thin, slick, charming man with very sentimental and laconic view of life, who easily makes friends and can handle himself in most fights, although on occasion he does act brash and bites off more than he can chew. Corto has no problems with violence or killing when deemed necessary, but he is disturbed by death and pain of the innocents. He often tries to help those oppressed or in need he meets on his journeys, which often gets him into serious trouble. However, he never fights lost battles and has a distinctive sense of self-preservation, as well as lots of acquaintances and luck. The ladies are often attracted to his charm, attitude and willingness to take action, but also to his slight naiveté that sometimes they and even some of his temporary allies try to take advantage of. However, Corto is no James Bond and while he often cares about his female companions in a platonic way, he rarely beds the girl, unless he's actually interested in her. Girls get to play important roles for Corto here as well, save for the first out of the three stories.
One could call him the European Indiana Jones, although Corto, as a fan of poetry and art, has only superficial knowledge of archeology, kills somewhat more indiscriminatingly, often waxes poetic and his world is much more adult, dramatic and darker than Indy's with little to no magical, fantastical or sci-fi elements.
The tree stories presented here all have the unique quality of being a good material for a short as well as a feature film. Each of them focuses on just one part of the formula that makes most of Corto's adventures and perfects it. This gives the movie a semblance of a thematic three-part structure even though the stories are not interlinked in any way. The first short about Corto's search for El Dorado focuses in a brutal yet subversive way on the final part of the formula - the cynical futility of a seemingly profitable endeavor that can easily turn into a nightmare. In a way, this story is also a comment on fate and the ways people deal with it (another theme close but not pleasant to Corto). The second story about the deadly game of political corruption Corto becomes involved with in Honduras focuses on his contact with people and the profit and the problems it brings. The third and perhaps his most controversial adventure out of all of his animated endeavors focuses on his involvement with the local issues and politics when Corto decides to help his friends (who happen to be members of the IRA) fight the Brits. Although Corto gets himself involved with several historical political issues along the course of his adventures, almost all of them are long gone history today, but the IRA and the British presence in Ireland are issues that are still present in public discourse even today to an extent. Although Corto clearly supports the Irish independence here, seeing it as just another rebellion against colonization, the main reason why he's doing what he's doing here is not really politics, but his loyalty to his Irish friends who just happen to be members of the IRA. This theme of loyalty thematically wraps up all these elements of a Corto formula.
Most Corto's adventures are like a cross between an old b&w Hollywood epic adventure combined with the sensibilities of a serious historian. Although Corto's feats may seem ridiculous at times, the locations he visits and the events he witnesses are presented in a highly atmospheric, quite brutal and often realistic way with a touch of comical, while the slow depressing intensity of the adventure never dissipates. The stylistic brooding conservative art design is quite atmospheric, very faithful to the comic and the animation looks less cheep than it is. You'd never guess the films were partly animated in North Korea (no joke).
In the end, the potential controversy that the IRA storyline may stir up, the risky ending of the El Dorado episode that may not sit well with some, and the fact that the elements of a true Corto experience are split here in three separate story lines, makes this a less than ideal introduction to Corto's adventures, but it is a decent (if highly episodic) Corto adventure, nonetheless.
The movie is available on DVD and has English audio track, which is not the best, but it gets the job done. You can also get "Corto Maltese - Collector's Edition" that's in English and contains all of Corto's animated adventures.
Corto Maltese and the Ethiopian
(2002 TV Movie)
Out of the seven Corto's animated feature adventures this one's the least connected to the others
22 November 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Circa 2002, several French and Italian production companies and TV channels joined forces to create an animated series of shorts and features based on the adventures of popular Italian comic book character Corto Maltese, a laconic adventurer and former sea captain who travels all across Europe and its colonies as well as Asia, South America and other places during the 1910s and the 1920s and witnesses first hand the many horrors and atrocities that the brutal bloody history of the early 20th century had to offer, from World War I to various civil wars and communist and other revolutions. This is why the comic book was (and still is) very popular in Europe, but is virtually unknown in the US.
Every story has a basic formula - Corto is hired, convinced or has reasons of his own to go to a certain exotic location where treasure, people or mystery await, but gets caught up in local infighting on the way there and becomes a witness to history. With the help from the people he meets along the way, he eventually reaches his goal, only to discover that the trip was more interesting than the destination. Here however, Corto's is working on a smaller scale. His three adventures don't really have an epic arc or specific historical background, nor do consequences of his actions impact anyone other than the people involved in these three specific stories. In other words - this is the most episodic out of all seven of his animated feature adventures.
Corto himself is a trustworthy tall, thin, slick, charming man with very sentimental and laconic view of life, who easily makes friends and can handle himself in most fights, although on occasion he does act brash and bites off more than he can chew. Corto has no problems with violence or killing when deemed necessary, but he is disturbed by death and pain of the innocents. He often tries to help those oppressed or in need he meets on his journeys, which often gets him into serious trouble. However, he never fights lost battles and has a distinctive sense of self-preservation, as well as lots of acquaintances and luck. The ladies are often attracted to his charm, attitude and willingness to take action, but also to his slight naiveté that sometimes they and even some of his temporary allies try to take advantage of. However, Corto is no James Bond and while he often cares about his female companions in a platonic way, he rarely beds the girl, unless he's actually interested in her.
One could call him the European Indiana Jones, although Corto, as a fan of poetry and art, has only superficial knowledge of archeology, kills somewhat more indiscriminatingly, often waxes poetic and his world is much more adult, dramatic and darker than Indy's with little to no magical, fantastical or sci-fi elements. These mystical elements do run through this specific compilation, but don't really influence the story in any significant manner.
The tree stories presented here all come from Corto's comic book issue eponymously titled The Ethiopian. The first two stories focus on a specific Enthiopian - the coldblooded amoral tribal warrior from Ethiopia called Cush. He frequently quotes Quran to make a point (although he's not really religious), has a very vengeful temper and is pretty much good for only one thing - slaughter. He sees the foreigners as occupiers and hates them with murderous rage. However, Corto proves to be a respectable warrior as well, so Cush grows to like him despite him not being a local. Since Corto's other amoral friend, bandit Rasputin, is nowhere around, he carefully befriends Cush. Unfortunately, Cush really is just a pale shadow of Rasputin's character with none of his wicked charm or funny moments. Still, their time together does make for a solid tough little adventure.
Most Corto's adventures are like a cross between an old b&w Hollywood epic adventure combined with the sensibilities of a serious historian. Although Corto's feats may seem ridiculous at times, the locations he visits and the events he witnesses are presented in a highly atmospheric, quite brutal and often realistic way with a touch of comical, while the slow depressing intensity of the adventure never dissipates. The stylistic brooding conservative art design is quite atmospheric, very faithful to the comic and the animation looks less cheep than it is. You'd never guess the films were partly animated in North Korea (no joke). This is where we come to the third story in this anthology and the only one that has any references to the other movies. Titled "Leopard-Men", the short has nothing to do with Cush or Ethiopia (although it is set in Africa as well) and comes off as a curious and somewhat fun but kind of pointless and a bit silly self-contained adventure straight out of 1930s black and white Hollywood adventure films.
The only somewhat bothersome issue with this anthology (not counting the small scope of the events, the somewhat silly tone of the third adventure and the superficial mumbo-jumbo mysticism that pops up now and then) is Corto's attitude. Although he is all in all a moral man and more or less a good guy, he just loves hanging around some highly questionable characters on occasion (like the aforementioned psychotic Rasputin) for no apparent good reason and Cush definitely fits that bill since he is, first and foremost, a hateful violent calculated man prone to self-loathing with repressed (but still present) sense of realism and self-irony.
In the end, while this is a decent Corto adventure, it's still a bit middle of the road-ish and it's not the best introduction to Corto for the uninitiated.
The movie is available on DVD and has English audio track, which is not the best, but it gets the job done. You can also get "Corto Maltese - Collector's Edition" that's in English and contains all of Corto's animated adventures.
Every story has a basic formula - Corto is hired, convinced or has reasons of his own to go to a certain exotic location where treasure, people or mystery await, but gets caught up in local infighting on the way there and becomes a witness to history. With the help from the people he meets along the way, he eventually reaches his goal, only to discover that the trip was more interesting than the destination. Here however, Corto's is working on a smaller scale. His three adventures don't really have an epic arc or specific historical background, nor do consequences of his actions impact anyone other than the people involved in these three specific stories. In other words - this is the most episodic out of all seven of his animated feature adventures.
Corto himself is a trustworthy tall, thin, slick, charming man with very sentimental and laconic view of life, who easily makes friends and can handle himself in most fights, although on occasion he does act brash and bites off more than he can chew. Corto has no problems with violence or killing when deemed necessary, but he is disturbed by death and pain of the innocents. He often tries to help those oppressed or in need he meets on his journeys, which often gets him into serious trouble. However, he never fights lost battles and has a distinctive sense of self-preservation, as well as lots of acquaintances and luck. The ladies are often attracted to his charm, attitude and willingness to take action, but also to his slight naiveté that sometimes they and even some of his temporary allies try to take advantage of. However, Corto is no James Bond and while he often cares about his female companions in a platonic way, he rarely beds the girl, unless he's actually interested in her.
One could call him the European Indiana Jones, although Corto, as a fan of poetry and art, has only superficial knowledge of archeology, kills somewhat more indiscriminatingly, often waxes poetic and his world is much more adult, dramatic and darker than Indy's with little to no magical, fantastical or sci-fi elements. These mystical elements do run through this specific compilation, but don't really influence the story in any significant manner.
The tree stories presented here all come from Corto's comic book issue eponymously titled The Ethiopian. The first two stories focus on a specific Enthiopian - the coldblooded amoral tribal warrior from Ethiopia called Cush. He frequently quotes Quran to make a point (although he's not really religious), has a very vengeful temper and is pretty much good for only one thing - slaughter. He sees the foreigners as occupiers and hates them with murderous rage. However, Corto proves to be a respectable warrior as well, so Cush grows to like him despite him not being a local. Since Corto's other amoral friend, bandit Rasputin, is nowhere around, he carefully befriends Cush. Unfortunately, Cush really is just a pale shadow of Rasputin's character with none of his wicked charm or funny moments. Still, their time together does make for a solid tough little adventure.
Most Corto's adventures are like a cross between an old b&w Hollywood epic adventure combined with the sensibilities of a serious historian. Although Corto's feats may seem ridiculous at times, the locations he visits and the events he witnesses are presented in a highly atmospheric, quite brutal and often realistic way with a touch of comical, while the slow depressing intensity of the adventure never dissipates. The stylistic brooding conservative art design is quite atmospheric, very faithful to the comic and the animation looks less cheep than it is. You'd never guess the films were partly animated in North Korea (no joke). This is where we come to the third story in this anthology and the only one that has any references to the other movies. Titled "Leopard-Men", the short has nothing to do with Cush or Ethiopia (although it is set in Africa as well) and comes off as a curious and somewhat fun but kind of pointless and a bit silly self-contained adventure straight out of 1930s black and white Hollywood adventure films.
The only somewhat bothersome issue with this anthology (not counting the small scope of the events, the somewhat silly tone of the third adventure and the superficial mumbo-jumbo mysticism that pops up now and then) is Corto's attitude. Although he is all in all a moral man and more or less a good guy, he just loves hanging around some highly questionable characters on occasion (like the aforementioned psychotic Rasputin) for no apparent good reason and Cush definitely fits that bill since he is, first and foremost, a hateful violent calculated man prone to self-loathing with repressed (but still present) sense of realism and self-irony.
In the end, while this is a decent Corto adventure, it's still a bit middle of the road-ish and it's not the best introduction to Corto for the uninitiated.
The movie is available on DVD and has English audio track, which is not the best, but it gets the job done. You can also get "Corto Maltese - Collector's Edition" that's in English and contains all of Corto's animated adventures.
A bit bizarre but kind of fun Corto mishmash
18 November 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Circa 2002, several French and Italian production companies and TV channels joined forces to create an animated series of shorts and features based on the adventures of popular Italian comic book character Corto Maltese, a laconic adventurer and former sea captain who travels all across Europe and its colonies as well as Asia, South America and other places during the 1910s and the 1920s and witnesses first hand the many horrors and atrocities that the brutal bloody history of the early 20th century had to offer, from World War I to various civil wars and communist and other revolutions. This is why the comic book was (and still is) very popular in Europe, but is virtually unknown in the US.
Every story has a basic formula - Corto is hired, convinced or has reasons of his own to go to a certain exotic location where treasure, people or mystery await, but gets caught up in local infighting on the way there and becomes a witness to history. With the help from the people he meets along the way, he eventually reaches his goal, only to discover that the trip was more interesting than the destination. Here however, we have somewhat of an exception since one of the stories seemingly turns out profitable for Corto.
Corto himself is a trustworthy tall, thin, slick, charming man with very sentimental and laconic view of life, who easily makes friends and can handle himself in most fights, although on occasion he does act brash and bites off more than he can chew. Corto has no problems with violence or killing when deemed necessary, but he is disturbed by death and pain of the innocents. He often tries to help those oppressed or in need he meets on his journeys, which often gets him into serious trouble. However, he never fights lost battles and has a distinctive sense of self-preservation, as well as lots of acquaintances and luck. The ladies are often attracted to his charm, attitude and willingness to take action, but also to his slight naiveté that sometimes they and even some of his temporary allies try to take advantage of. However, Corto is no James Bond and while he often cares about his female companions in a platonic way, he rarely beds the girl, unless he's actually interested in her. In one of the stories here, Corto's sentimentalism towards a certain woman costs him his treasure, but then again, that could be for the best.
One could call him the European Indiana Jones, although Corto, as a fan of poetry and art, has only superficial knowledge of archeology, kills somewhat more indiscriminatingly, often waxes poetic and his world is much more adult, dramatic and darker than Indy's with little to no magical, fantastical or sci-fi elements. However, one of the stories here indulges in fantasy happily in a partly serious tribute to Celtic mythology and the Arthurian legend.
Although this film is called The Celts (or Celtics), it's also known as "Under the Flag of Gold" and it's a compilation of four of Corto's short adventures. This is unfortunate because some of the stories don't get the time to become engaging, although others benefit from this, since longer running time would turn a fun bizarre Arthurian tribute or a simple to the point real life soldier's story into a nonsensical drawn-out mess.
Every entry in this animated franchise has similar qualities and faults.
Most Corto's adventures are like a cross between an old b&w Hollywood epic adventure combined with the sensibilities of a serious historian. Although Corto's feats may seem ridiculous at times, the locations he visits and the events he witnesses are presented in a highly atmospheric, quite brutal and often realistic way with a touch of comical, while the slow depressing intensity of the adventure never dissipates. The stylistic brooding conservative art design is quite atmospheric, very faithful to the comic and the animation looks less cheep than it is. You'd never guess the films were partly animated in North Korea (no joke). On the other hand, stories in this compilation have a much less tense tone and some even have straight up comical elements. The episode about Monetenegrin gold almost starts to feel like a Python sketch after a while and the fantastical set up of the unique and poetic Stonehenge episode must be seen to be believed. These are not necessarily faults, just slightly jarring novelties for this somber, sarcastic and dramatic franchise.
As for the faults, the story sometimes references moments and characters from Corto's past that are never explained. It's nothing major, but if you have seen the other movies and shorts, or read the comics, you'll have that much extra context. The pacing is a bit off. Some stories feel rushed, while others seem a bit irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Finally, the tone is a bit off. Some stories are light in tone, and others have only slight gravitas. This makes the whole movie feel less important than it should be.
Still, in the end, this is a more or less enjoyable sit, but it's kind of middle of the road. The stronger elements compensate for the weaker ones.
The movie is available on DVD and has English audio track, which is not the best, but it gets the job done, I guess. You can also get "Corto Maltese - Collector's Edition" that's in English and contains all of Corto's animated adventures.
Every story has a basic formula - Corto is hired, convinced or has reasons of his own to go to a certain exotic location where treasure, people or mystery await, but gets caught up in local infighting on the way there and becomes a witness to history. With the help from the people he meets along the way, he eventually reaches his goal, only to discover that the trip was more interesting than the destination. Here however, we have somewhat of an exception since one of the stories seemingly turns out profitable for Corto.
Corto himself is a trustworthy tall, thin, slick, charming man with very sentimental and laconic view of life, who easily makes friends and can handle himself in most fights, although on occasion he does act brash and bites off more than he can chew. Corto has no problems with violence or killing when deemed necessary, but he is disturbed by death and pain of the innocents. He often tries to help those oppressed or in need he meets on his journeys, which often gets him into serious trouble. However, he never fights lost battles and has a distinctive sense of self-preservation, as well as lots of acquaintances and luck. The ladies are often attracted to his charm, attitude and willingness to take action, but also to his slight naiveté that sometimes they and even some of his temporary allies try to take advantage of. However, Corto is no James Bond and while he often cares about his female companions in a platonic way, he rarely beds the girl, unless he's actually interested in her. In one of the stories here, Corto's sentimentalism towards a certain woman costs him his treasure, but then again, that could be for the best.
One could call him the European Indiana Jones, although Corto, as a fan of poetry and art, has only superficial knowledge of archeology, kills somewhat more indiscriminatingly, often waxes poetic and his world is much more adult, dramatic and darker than Indy's with little to no magical, fantastical or sci-fi elements. However, one of the stories here indulges in fantasy happily in a partly serious tribute to Celtic mythology and the Arthurian legend.
Although this film is called The Celts (or Celtics), it's also known as "Under the Flag of Gold" and it's a compilation of four of Corto's short adventures. This is unfortunate because some of the stories don't get the time to become engaging, although others benefit from this, since longer running time would turn a fun bizarre Arthurian tribute or a simple to the point real life soldier's story into a nonsensical drawn-out mess.
Every entry in this animated franchise has similar qualities and faults.
Most Corto's adventures are like a cross between an old b&w Hollywood epic adventure combined with the sensibilities of a serious historian. Although Corto's feats may seem ridiculous at times, the locations he visits and the events he witnesses are presented in a highly atmospheric, quite brutal and often realistic way with a touch of comical, while the slow depressing intensity of the adventure never dissipates. The stylistic brooding conservative art design is quite atmospheric, very faithful to the comic and the animation looks less cheep than it is. You'd never guess the films were partly animated in North Korea (no joke). On the other hand, stories in this compilation have a much less tense tone and some even have straight up comical elements. The episode about Monetenegrin gold almost starts to feel like a Python sketch after a while and the fantastical set up of the unique and poetic Stonehenge episode must be seen to be believed. These are not necessarily faults, just slightly jarring novelties for this somber, sarcastic and dramatic franchise.
As for the faults, the story sometimes references moments and characters from Corto's past that are never explained. It's nothing major, but if you have seen the other movies and shorts, or read the comics, you'll have that much extra context. The pacing is a bit off. Some stories feel rushed, while others seem a bit irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Finally, the tone is a bit off. Some stories are light in tone, and others have only slight gravitas. This makes the whole movie feel less important than it should be.
Still, in the end, this is a more or less enjoyable sit, but it's kind of middle of the road. The stronger elements compensate for the weaker ones.
The movie is available on DVD and has English audio track, which is not the best, but it gets the job done, I guess. You can also get "Corto Maltese - Collector's Edition" that's in English and contains all of Corto's animated adventures.
Corto takes a backseat to do some babysitting
17 November 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Circa 2002, several French and Italian production companies and TV channels joined forces to create an animated series of shorts and features based on the adventures of popular Italian comic book character Corto Maltese, a laconic adventurer and former sea captain who in 1910s and 1920s travels Europe and its colonies, as well as the rest of the world, and witnesses first hand the many horrors and atrocities that the brutal bloody history of the early 20th century had to offer, from World War I to various civil wars, communist revolutions and other rebellions. This is why the comic book was (and still is) very popular in Europe, but is virtually unknown in the US.
His stories usually have a basic formula - Corto is hired, convinced or has reasons of his own to go to a certain exotic location where treasure, people or mystery await, but gets caught up in local infighting on the way there and becomes a witness to history. With the help from the people he meets along the way, he eventually reaches his goal, only to discover that the trip was more interesting than the destination. The spirit of this formula is kept in this story, but the structure is stagnant (there are very few locations) and the story is holding back (even turning into a daytime soap for a moment).
Corto himself is a nice, trustworthy, tall, thin, slick, charming man with a very sentimental and laconic view of life, who easily makes friends and can handle himself in most fights, although on occasion he does act brash and bites off more than he can chew. Corto has no problems with violence or killing when deemed necessary, but he is disturbed by death and pain of the innocents. He often tries to help those oppressed or in need he meets on his journeys, which often gets him into serious trouble. However, he never fights lost battles and has a distinctive sense of self-preservation, as well as lots of acquaintances and luck. The ladies are often attracted to his charm, attitude and willingness to take action, but also to his slight naiveté that sometimes they and even some of his temporary allies try to take advantage of. However, Corto is no James Bond and while he often cares about his female companions in a platonic way, he rarely beds the girl, unless he's actually interested in her. He builds a friendly relationship with the girl here as well, but since she's a teen, thankfully it remains sentimental and not romantic or sexual.
One could call him the European Indiana Jones, although Corto, as a fan of poetry and art, has only superficial knowledge of archeology, kills somewhat more indiscriminatingly, often waxes poetic and his world is much more adult, dramatic and darker than Indy's with little to no magical, fantastical or sci-fi elements.
Corto Maltese and The Ballad of the Salt Sea is chronologically Corto's first adventure set before all of his other animated adventures. However, this isn't really Corto's adventure. For the most part, he's just in the background trying to protect the two teen heirs of a rich Australian industrials, kidnapped by Rasputin, from said bandit and on occasion even themselves. The focus is much more on the kids themselves and their attempts to adapt to the situation and escape. There's also not much adventuring here, save for the escape attempts and Corto's attempts to protect them from the crazy Russian's bad temper.
Most of Corto's adventures are like a cross between an old b&w Hollywood epic adventure combined with the sensibilities of a serious historian. Although Corto's feats may seem ridiculous at times, the locations he visits and the events he witnesses are presented in a highly atmospheric, quite brutal and often realistic way with a touch of comical, while the slow depressing intensity of the adventure never dissipates. The stylistic brooding conservative art design is quite atmospheric, very faithful to the comic and the animation looks less cheep than it is. You'd never guess the films were partly animated in North Korea (no joke). However, this film is closer to a slightly darker teen adventure than some brooding contemplation about the nature of the world or WWI. Not that they didn't try, but only traces of the true tense Corto experience remain. Murderous Rasputin is literally the only one who presents a real threat on the whole island, even though it's the hub of pirates.
A common problem with Corto's franchise is pacing. Some less relevant moments will be covered in detail, while other more important ones will be simply brushed over. There's a whole secondary plot here about a German submarine officer that focuses on honor, duty and the beastly nature of war, but it has absolutely nothing to do with the main plot and this B plot remains underdeveloped throughout, even though in theory it's much more poignant than the A plot.
Secondly, the tone is sometimes off, mostly because of Corto's friend Rasputin who sometimes serves as the comical relief in these adventures, but often acts completely amoral, and in the case of this movie - straight up evil, yet Corto always manages to make peace and remain friends with him which makes Corto, who's more or less a moral man, a complete hypocrite. Not to mention that at this stage of his life, Corto technically works with Rasputin for a gang of thieves and cutthroats led by the always masked "Monk".
In the end, this is a passable Corto adventure, but it's not a good introduction to Corto, and should be seen only after you've seen his classic adventures like the ones in Siberia or Samarkand.
The movie is available on DVD in Europe and has optional English subtitles, so folks from the US can import it. You can also get "Corto Maltese - Collector's Edition" that's in English and contains all of Corto's animated adventures.
His stories usually have a basic formula - Corto is hired, convinced or has reasons of his own to go to a certain exotic location where treasure, people or mystery await, but gets caught up in local infighting on the way there and becomes a witness to history. With the help from the people he meets along the way, he eventually reaches his goal, only to discover that the trip was more interesting than the destination. The spirit of this formula is kept in this story, but the structure is stagnant (there are very few locations) and the story is holding back (even turning into a daytime soap for a moment).
Corto himself is a nice, trustworthy, tall, thin, slick, charming man with a very sentimental and laconic view of life, who easily makes friends and can handle himself in most fights, although on occasion he does act brash and bites off more than he can chew. Corto has no problems with violence or killing when deemed necessary, but he is disturbed by death and pain of the innocents. He often tries to help those oppressed or in need he meets on his journeys, which often gets him into serious trouble. However, he never fights lost battles and has a distinctive sense of self-preservation, as well as lots of acquaintances and luck. The ladies are often attracted to his charm, attitude and willingness to take action, but also to his slight naiveté that sometimes they and even some of his temporary allies try to take advantage of. However, Corto is no James Bond and while he often cares about his female companions in a platonic way, he rarely beds the girl, unless he's actually interested in her. He builds a friendly relationship with the girl here as well, but since she's a teen, thankfully it remains sentimental and not romantic or sexual.
One could call him the European Indiana Jones, although Corto, as a fan of poetry and art, has only superficial knowledge of archeology, kills somewhat more indiscriminatingly, often waxes poetic and his world is much more adult, dramatic and darker than Indy's with little to no magical, fantastical or sci-fi elements.
Corto Maltese and The Ballad of the Salt Sea is chronologically Corto's first adventure set before all of his other animated adventures. However, this isn't really Corto's adventure. For the most part, he's just in the background trying to protect the two teen heirs of a rich Australian industrials, kidnapped by Rasputin, from said bandit and on occasion even themselves. The focus is much more on the kids themselves and their attempts to adapt to the situation and escape. There's also not much adventuring here, save for the escape attempts and Corto's attempts to protect them from the crazy Russian's bad temper.
Most of Corto's adventures are like a cross between an old b&w Hollywood epic adventure combined with the sensibilities of a serious historian. Although Corto's feats may seem ridiculous at times, the locations he visits and the events he witnesses are presented in a highly atmospheric, quite brutal and often realistic way with a touch of comical, while the slow depressing intensity of the adventure never dissipates. The stylistic brooding conservative art design is quite atmospheric, very faithful to the comic and the animation looks less cheep than it is. You'd never guess the films were partly animated in North Korea (no joke). However, this film is closer to a slightly darker teen adventure than some brooding contemplation about the nature of the world or WWI. Not that they didn't try, but only traces of the true tense Corto experience remain. Murderous Rasputin is literally the only one who presents a real threat on the whole island, even though it's the hub of pirates.
A common problem with Corto's franchise is pacing. Some less relevant moments will be covered in detail, while other more important ones will be simply brushed over. There's a whole secondary plot here about a German submarine officer that focuses on honor, duty and the beastly nature of war, but it has absolutely nothing to do with the main plot and this B plot remains underdeveloped throughout, even though in theory it's much more poignant than the A plot.
Secondly, the tone is sometimes off, mostly because of Corto's friend Rasputin who sometimes serves as the comical relief in these adventures, but often acts completely amoral, and in the case of this movie - straight up evil, yet Corto always manages to make peace and remain friends with him which makes Corto, who's more or less a moral man, a complete hypocrite. Not to mention that at this stage of his life, Corto technically works with Rasputin for a gang of thieves and cutthroats led by the always masked "Monk".
In the end, this is a passable Corto adventure, but it's not a good introduction to Corto, and should be seen only after you've seen his classic adventures like the ones in Siberia or Samarkand.
The movie is available on DVD in Europe and has optional English subtitles, so folks from the US can import it. You can also get "Corto Maltese - Collector's Edition" that's in English and contains all of Corto's animated adventures.
Corto's meandering adventure
16 November 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Circa 2002, several French and Italian production companies and TV channels joined forces to create an animated series of shorts and features based on the adventures of popular Italian comic book character Corto Maltese, a laconic adventurer and former sea captain who in 1910s and 1920s travels Europe and its colonies, as well as the rest of the world, and witnesses first hand the many horrors and atrocities that the brutal bloody history of the early 20th century had to offer, from World War I to various civil wars, communist revolutions and other rebellions. This is why the comic book was (and still is) very popular in Europe, but is virtually unknown in the US.
His stories usually have a basic formula - Corto is hired, convinced or has reasons of his own to go to a certain exotic location where treasure, people or mystery await, but gets caught up in local infighting on the way there and becomes a witness to history. With the help from the people he meets along the way, he eventually reaches his goal, only to discover that the trip was more interesting than the destination.
Corto himself is a nice, trustworthy, tall, thin, slick, charming man with a very sentimental and laconic view of life, who easily makes friends and can handle himself in most fights, although on occasion he does act brash and bites off more than he can chew. Corto has no problems with violence or killing when deemed necessary, but he is disturbed by death and pain of the innocents. He often tries to help those oppressed or in need he meets on his journeys, which often gets him into serious trouble. However, he never fights lost battles and has a distinctive sense of self-preservation, as well as lots of acquaintances and luck. The ladies are often attracted to his charm, attitude and willingness to take action, but also to his slight naiveté that sometimes they and even some of his temporary allies try to take advantage of. However, Corto is no James Bond and while he often cares about his female companions in a platonic way, he rarely beds the girl, unless he's actually interested in her.
One could call him the European Indiana Jones, although Corto, as a fan of poetry and art, has only superficial knowledge of archeology, kills somewhat more indiscriminatingly, often waxes poetic and his world is much more adult, dramatic and darker than Indy's with little to no magical, fantastical or sci-fi elements.
Corto Maltese: Under the Sign of Capricorn is the first entry in his animated franchise and is based on his eponymous comic book adventure. However, this becomes a problem, since in the comic, the adventure is a collection of short stories and doesn't work as well when presented as a single narrative. That makes the movie feel more like an anthology than a single complex adventure. The ending especially suffers because of this when a huge event that's alluded to (the discovery of the fictional lost continent of Mu) never happens. This lack of focus on a single narrative will be resolved more successfully in later sequels, but here, it's an issue.
The setting of his adventure(s) this time is South America. In 1916, Corto is in Surinam where he's asked by a supernaturally old female voodoo mystic to chaperon a confused young man called Tristan whose troubles started when he inherited the majority share in his father's company. The other shareholder wants him dead and voodoo spirits who need him and the company for reasons of their own haunt him. Corto also gets entangled in a peasant rebellion in Northern Brazil, and in 1917, he goes on an ill-prepared treasure hunt with traitorous Rasputin and a female friend.
Most of Corto's adventures are like a cross between an old b&w Hollywood epic adventure combined with the sensibilities of a serious historian. Although Corto's feats may seem ridiculous at times, the locations he visits and the events he witnesses are presented in a highly atmospheric, quite brutal and often realistic way with a touch of comical, while the slow depressing intensity of the adventure never dissipates. The stylistic brooding conservative art design is quite atmospheric, very faithful to the comic and the animation looks less cheep than it is. You'd never guess the films were partially animated in North Korea (no joke). However, this film is not very broody at all because the beach and jungle locations are much easier on the eyes and the story is too loose to hold tension.
A common problem with Corto's franchise is pacing. Some less relevant moments will be covered in detail (like the almost completely irrelevant revelation that Tristan has a stepsister), while other more important ones (like the ending) will be simply brushed over. Secondly, the tone is sometimes off, mostly because of Corto's friend Rasputin who sometimes serves as the comical relief in these adventures, but often acts completely amoral, if not straight up evil, even to the point of openly threatening Corto's life, yet somehow they still always manage to make peace and remain friends. This guy makes Corto, who's more or less a moral man, seem like a hypocrite.
In the end, this is a passable, if pretty average adventure for Corto, but it's not a bad introduction to the character, although it's also in no way the core of what Corto Maltese intense experience is.
The movie is available on DVD in Europe and has optional English subtitles, so folks from the US can import it. You can also get "Corto Maltese - Collector's Edition" that's in English and contains all of Corto's animated adventures.
His stories usually have a basic formula - Corto is hired, convinced or has reasons of his own to go to a certain exotic location where treasure, people or mystery await, but gets caught up in local infighting on the way there and becomes a witness to history. With the help from the people he meets along the way, he eventually reaches his goal, only to discover that the trip was more interesting than the destination.
Corto himself is a nice, trustworthy, tall, thin, slick, charming man with a very sentimental and laconic view of life, who easily makes friends and can handle himself in most fights, although on occasion he does act brash and bites off more than he can chew. Corto has no problems with violence or killing when deemed necessary, but he is disturbed by death and pain of the innocents. He often tries to help those oppressed or in need he meets on his journeys, which often gets him into serious trouble. However, he never fights lost battles and has a distinctive sense of self-preservation, as well as lots of acquaintances and luck. The ladies are often attracted to his charm, attitude and willingness to take action, but also to his slight naiveté that sometimes they and even some of his temporary allies try to take advantage of. However, Corto is no James Bond and while he often cares about his female companions in a platonic way, he rarely beds the girl, unless he's actually interested in her.
One could call him the European Indiana Jones, although Corto, as a fan of poetry and art, has only superficial knowledge of archeology, kills somewhat more indiscriminatingly, often waxes poetic and his world is much more adult, dramatic and darker than Indy's with little to no magical, fantastical or sci-fi elements.
Corto Maltese: Under the Sign of Capricorn is the first entry in his animated franchise and is based on his eponymous comic book adventure. However, this becomes a problem, since in the comic, the adventure is a collection of short stories and doesn't work as well when presented as a single narrative. That makes the movie feel more like an anthology than a single complex adventure. The ending especially suffers because of this when a huge event that's alluded to (the discovery of the fictional lost continent of Mu) never happens. This lack of focus on a single narrative will be resolved more successfully in later sequels, but here, it's an issue.
The setting of his adventure(s) this time is South America. In 1916, Corto is in Surinam where he's asked by a supernaturally old female voodoo mystic to chaperon a confused young man called Tristan whose troubles started when he inherited the majority share in his father's company. The other shareholder wants him dead and voodoo spirits who need him and the company for reasons of their own haunt him. Corto also gets entangled in a peasant rebellion in Northern Brazil, and in 1917, he goes on an ill-prepared treasure hunt with traitorous Rasputin and a female friend.
Most of Corto's adventures are like a cross between an old b&w Hollywood epic adventure combined with the sensibilities of a serious historian. Although Corto's feats may seem ridiculous at times, the locations he visits and the events he witnesses are presented in a highly atmospheric, quite brutal and often realistic way with a touch of comical, while the slow depressing intensity of the adventure never dissipates. The stylistic brooding conservative art design is quite atmospheric, very faithful to the comic and the animation looks less cheep than it is. You'd never guess the films were partially animated in North Korea (no joke). However, this film is not very broody at all because the beach and jungle locations are much easier on the eyes and the story is too loose to hold tension.
A common problem with Corto's franchise is pacing. Some less relevant moments will be covered in detail (like the almost completely irrelevant revelation that Tristan has a stepsister), while other more important ones (like the ending) will be simply brushed over. Secondly, the tone is sometimes off, mostly because of Corto's friend Rasputin who sometimes serves as the comical relief in these adventures, but often acts completely amoral, if not straight up evil, even to the point of openly threatening Corto's life, yet somehow they still always manage to make peace and remain friends. This guy makes Corto, who's more or less a moral man, seem like a hypocrite.
In the end, this is a passable, if pretty average adventure for Corto, but it's not a bad introduction to the character, although it's also in no way the core of what Corto Maltese intense experience is.
The movie is available on DVD in Europe and has optional English subtitles, so folks from the US can import it. You can also get "Corto Maltese - Collector's Edition" that's in English and contains all of Corto's animated adventures.
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