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Nope (2022)
Nope, naha, no, not a chance, no thanks, and not in a million years
I cannot remember the last time I saw a decent movie, and this is definitely not it. I would settle for decent at this point. We have really reached the worst level of movie making in Hollywood history by now. This urine soaked excuse of a movie epitomises the decline.
What is this about? No idea. Something about aliens abducting people and animals for some reason we are never told. Subplots in every corner, none of them go anywhere. Bad actors randomly acting out random scenes usually involving the subplots. The directing abysmal, and even the sound design is like preschool production level. The ending confusing and very random.
But worst with this movie is how boring it is. How can you take aliens, alien abductions, murderous apes, gore and slaughter and possible war with aliens and make it boring? Well, they did it.
Anything positive... well... I have seen worse. This is not the worst movie I have seen. Sadly this is not even the worst movie I have seen this month. That is all the praise I am giving this.
2/10 just because this is not the worst movie of the year...
Day Shift (2022)
A bit of fun, but mostly a trashy poor excuse of vampire movie with bad acting
To no surprise to anyone this kinda suck. It is not unwatchable though so if you just want to have a few beers and relax with nonsense for a while, this is not the worst thing you can watch.
Snoop is fun, there are a few great fight sequences, and I even chuckled a couple of times. This is also something we have seem a million times which mostly is a bad thing, but it also means that you know what you are getting. Watching this movie is like eating at McDonalds.
This movie fails when people talk and the poor excuses for actors are trying to act out scenes. The script and the casting is pretty bad.
As said, you can do worse but I cannot recommend this. 4/10.
Paper Girls (2022)
In heaven of good taste and great TV everyone is crying
Is this a Stranger Things rip-off with gender and race swop? Well, sort of yes. Not completely, but close enough to be annoying.
I do not mind that too much, most TV shows steal things from each other. What I do care about however is how badly made this is. The actors all suck, the CGi is barely passable, dialogue is atrocious - no one ever talked like this. Ever. But perhaps worst with this is how boring it is. The director and script writers all came together one night to decide how to take a decent (albeit stolen) premise and make it as boring as possible, and they succeeded.
I am not going to review everything wrong with this not go into details, that would give a lot more attention to a show that does not deserve it. What I will say however is that if you want to make the TV Gods cry from shame and embarrassment this is what you show them.
The only reason why I give this a generous 2/10 is because I have actually seen worse so I will give this an extra point because of that...
Fringe: Transilience Thought Unifier Model-11 (2012)
Magic is real
This is an excellent start of the last season but what really sells it is the last couple of minutes. An epic, magnificent, stunning performance with a brilliant song choice and symbolism up the yazoo. One of the best moments in the history of entertainment and so stunningly well-made I get tears in my eye just thinking of it.
Although this last season is perhaps the weakest, it also have some of the strongest and best most memorable moments of any show ever. The one I mention above is one, but also several others such as the bullet that saved the world or the wonderful loveable ending.
Fringe is one of the best TV shows of all time. If it wasn't for a few misses in season 3 and a couple of bad episodes in season 4 I would probably put this as #1.
This is a great start of the season and as with everything else Fringe a must see.
Fringe: Pilot (2008)
Brilliant start to one of the best TV shows of all time
Rewatching this amazing show and starting with the very first episode I tried to focus in on details since I know there is a lot going on that I am sure to have missed previous. I also focused in a lot on the acting and oh boy... these people can act. Watching the camera zoom in very close on facial expression and eye movement and see all of these fantastic actors sell every single scene without even talking. The acting on this show is so beyond 99.9% of all other TV show it is not even funny.
There are a few clunky things in this pilot - such as the initial chase leading up to the explosion, or how Olivia suddenly get a lab and other equipment to her team with no red tape or resistance. Good luck with that within the real FBI.
But such small misses or imperfections only stand out because everything else is so fantastic.
This is a 9/10 and compared to almost anything today the standard set on this show is so high it is hard to even imagine anything like it today. You need to go back to the first seasons of GoT or watch the best of x-files to come close to the level of Fringe.
If you have never watched this show, you should do it right now. TV does not get better than this.
Prey (2022)
Dialogue problems, lots of plot armor but a good watch
Better than it has any right to be, and far superior than anything that came out of this franchise in a long time. However is this great or fantastic? No.
This has been somewhat overhyped, a bit oversold and the movie is not that good. However this is decently entertaining, the movie has a lot of cool nice moments, and with a few minor adjustments this could have been an excellent film.
They should have never spoken english, or barely spoken at all. This movie is best when the actors act out and we see nice scenery with bloody fights with very little to no talking. I mean why do the comanche's speak english with each other? And how come a predator can knock out a big bear but when hitting a little girl she is still alive and conscious? The main lead actress is pretty good in this movie, but once she take only one hit it is game over. She would not be able to stand after a punch from a normal man, let alone a big hulky predator. That type of plot armor take you completely out of the movie. There are also a few weird dialogues and script misses that lowers the score, and that old pistol that we supposedly in the 2nd movie, was too much on the nose.
With those negatives out of the way this is still a pretty good watch. This has enough gore and cool fight scenes to keep you entertained. The movie is also not very long, it has a simple premise of Predator lands, start killing, our protagonist defeat him. That is it. That is the move. And for such a simplistic story this is actually very good. The actors do a great job. The scenes, the prop department, the sound design, the cinematography is all spot on and enhances the movie experience.
Although I cannot really forgive the plot armor nor the, at times, clunky dialogue I can neither say this was not worth the watch. This is pretty good and I might even assume some of you might love this movie.
I give this a 6/10, a pretty strong 6 though, and it is a shame they did not fix the minor problems and the things I mention above. This could have easily been an excellent or fantastic movie. But as is it is good and worth a watch, but don't believe the hype because then you will be disappointed.
Continuum (2012)
Great premise, lovely acting, good entertainment but get stale quickly
This is a pretty good Scify show with an excellent central premise, good acting, and although there are plenty of cliches this also have several unique features and original enough to keep things exciting and fun. The problem with the show is that the show-runners fairly quickly ran out of ideas. Already towards the middle of the 2nd season stories start to drag, storytelling got stale and this is not as fun anymore. And there are two more seasons after this which both are meh.
The best thing with this show is the very believable central premise that we are heading for a merger of corporate and government interests, a merger wherein big corporations basically take over the oppressive totalitarian role of government after bailing out the government from their socialist ways. A merger of socialism and fascism basically. As any evil corporation they create working drones, microchip for control and social points to follow otherwise you do not eat. Feels very believable, very likely that one or two countries will end up in this spot within a few years.
I also appreciate that they treat time travel in a decent way, which is not easy to do. The acting is great too.
I give this a decently generous 7/10.
The show could easily been a lot better if they had more ideas and could have built upon the very good first two seasons. The actors do a great job in selling this though so although it get stale and almost boring towards the end it is still watchable.
Definitely a hidden gem worth your time but also not the best. If you have nothing else to watch though I do recommend this.
The Anarchists (2022)
Burning regulations and hating the state, what's not to love!
So this is not a very good "documentary" nor is it very interesting to watch. The main selling point here is that they are actually showcasing anarchy. Probably for the first time ever. Normally they depict socialists out murdering folk and communists thinking that they are anarchists when they hate others. The only true anarchism is anarcho-capitalism. Anyone stating different have no idea what they are talking about.
As such these people are loveable, amazing, intelligent and worthy a place in our hearts. I wish we could get a lot more real anarchy, real capitalism and real libertarianism in the world but at least this is something.
Sadly, as mention, this is not so greatly done. I wish I could give this a 10/10. Burning regulations, hating the state, teaching kids who their real enemy is - all of these things are brilliant and pure gold. But sadly the rest of these episodes are not that great.
In the end I give this a very generous 8/10 and all those points are for showing us real anarchy and in several episodes showcasing the evils of the state.
In the coming years you all wish you would have done like and listen to these folk and people like me. Do not come and complain when you are all starving. We told you so.
Luck (2022)
First 10min fantastic, the last 5min pretty good, the rest meh...
I was laughing almost constantly for the first minutes, lovely stuff. The finale of the show was fun, loveable and had a good point. The problem is all the stuff in-between. It get very quickly convoluted, convenient and sure it is a cartoon but what are the rules of this world/s? This also has a pacing problem, which is not often you say about a cartoon..
The main character is great and despite me not being a huge fan of this movie I can still see the good and this is by no means bad. I also think that kids might like this a lot more than I did.
At the end of the day I had a decently good time. This was just not that good and entertaining in the middle parts (they should have made the movie 15min shorter) but overall not bad, and I will recommend this to parents and kids - I am fairly certain children will like this.
For me I give this a 6/10. Worth the watch but as an adult I recommend having a few glasses of wine ready for the boring middle parts.
The Sandman (2022)
Atrocious garbage masquerading as TV show
As a huge fan of the comic I could not be more disappointed. Perhaps this disappointment that the show does not live up to the comic also impacts my review, but the bad casting, the horrible pacing and how boring this is can hardly be blamed on a bad adaption.
The good is the first episode which almost capture the comic, has okay acting (in comparison to the rest of the show) and set things up pretty nicely. Another thing I like about the show is Mad Hettie, which was a surprise but worked very well. Boyd Holbrook as the corinthian is a great cast and is creepy as he should be.
Sadly here the good things end. The bad is everything else.
Everything from the costumes to sound design suck. Everything from directing to casting is atrocious. Every scene look like it has been setup by a child production in the 4th grade. The computer graphics are horrible and cheap, where did all the money go? This show is boring, it is badly adopted, and comes off as a joke.
The man playing desire is one of the worst actors I have ever seen. Patton as Mathew the raven could not be reading the script more bored. To cast horrible c-rate actors such as Vivienne Acheampong, Gwendoline Christie, Donna Preston and the horribly bad Vanesu Samunyai in key roles cannot lead to anything but disaster. The acting in this show is probably the worst I have seen on this level. Ever. In my life. Seriously, it cannot be worse. And winner of the bad acting award has to go to Kirby Howell-Baptiste who read her lines like she is reading doodles from a highway toilet-door and with the same patos as a wet towel. This is one of those shows that if you cannot get the casting right nothing works. However most of this show would suck anyway, even with good casting.
The political correctness and wokeness of this show is just childish. The comic this is based on is one of the most political and woke of all time, but it worked because of the great writing. Here they just throw in an updated version of the Walker family for no reason, and they even change the poor driver of John Dee. I mean, why? And if you are going to do mad things like this, make sure your writing is on point and that the actors are great otherwise you get a disaster like this nonsense.
Perhaps worst of all is how boring this is. The pacing is way, way off. This is probably one of the few things they should have changed from the comics. The pace that works on pages does not always translate well to live adaption. But for some reason they kept the frame by frame feeling from the comic and with these "actors" (in lack of a better word) not being able to sell a line to save their lives the pacing is all over the place.
I could go on and on and picking apart each episode, but this show do not deserve more attention. This is the biggest disappointment in TV history. It is like watching season 8 of GoT over and over again, only with bad cheap production and worse actors.
I give this a very generous 2/10 for the positives I mention above. If you have not read the comics, please stay away and go read instead. If you have read the comics, stay away because this is even worse than you feared.
The Sandman: Playing House (2022)
Another bottom of the barrel
This show is so bad it is laughable. Although the first episode was good, it has gone all downhill since and the last two have been the worst I have seen this year.
You cannot make a TV episode this bad even if you try, what happen? Who made this? This is so horrible.
The Sandman: The Doll's House (2022)
This is absolutely atrocious
The casting, the acting, the writing and the directing is all horrible. Desire is a joke, Despair is a joke, the entire walker family is a joke. This is a bad joke of an episode.
This feels like it was made by 12yo's.
By far the worst episode of the show, which is quite a feat. This is turning out to be one of the biggest disappointments of all time comes to TV shows.
The Sandman: 24/7 (2022)
Could have been great with better actors.
This diner and how it plays out was one of the most disturbing, disgusting and weird comics of all time. They did a pretty good attempt to replicate this and some of this is almost spot it. They sell the creepiness pretty good.
The problem here is that the actors are not good enough to sell it.
Another problem, which I do get, is that they do not portrait the gore and disgusting-ness good enough. Seemingly have no budget for it.
This was a step up though, and mainly because they are following the script from the comic.
Good, but not great. It could have been amazing with better actors.
The Sandman: A Hope in Hell (2022)
Yet another boring episode
The production value of this show is very low and it shows more and more as the episodes goes forward. Every hall, every room, every scene look cheap.
This show is not very good so far, but I will look it through until the end.
Yawn.
The Sandman: Imperfect Hosts (2022)
Still not hitting the mark and this is even boring
This is still very good but the show so far lack a bit of oumpff. It lack the perfect creepiness of the comic. It lacks that cherry on top. This is good enough, it is fine, even great. A lot of this is even excellent. But I also do not see much special about it.
In this episode we can also point at Vivienne Acheampong who is a horrible actress. The Cain and Abel thing did not sit right. And the episode was so short, weirdly short. I hope that is not the norm of the episodes.. The computer graphics are also much worse in this episode compared to the first one. Another thing I reacted to was the music and sound design, something about it kept nagging me and not sitting right. I cannot really put my finger on it, but it feels... cheap... sort of. A final thing that bugs me is that instead of meeting John Constantine and chasing the gem through Justice league we get a watered down Johanna Constantine that Dream will go after.. what a letdown...
But worst with this episode is how boring it is. Nothing happens, even the meeting with the faiths was like meh. I know this is sort of a setup and we are given some exposition which is important going forward, but you can still have some pace or some events which spice things up a bit. Why not follow the comic?
Punani (2015)
This is how morality and good taste dies
This short clip is one of those milestones in the Modern society where you can clearly see the writing on the wall. This is how morality dies, with a barbie and nonsense. This is how good taste dies, with nonsense dialogue and a laughable premiss.
In the circa 13min only two things really happens. We have a self-gratification scene, with a barbie no less. And our girl go to some secret make-out place where she has sex with her brothers friend and lose her virginity in the process. That is it.
There is nothing to this, there is no development, we have no idea who these people are. The very short start eluding to the Church is completely nonsensical. This is all about a young girl showing her shaved punani with a barbie visitor, and the same girl having sex. There is absolutely nothing more and such this is more porn than anything else.
However this is meant for and produced for young kids, preteens and teens. If you show this to young teens or even preteens they will have no clue and all they see is porn and immoral behaviour without context and without any sort of story. This should be banned and parent should be up and arms. However since that did not happen we can safely say that this little clip made in 2015 is part of the rapid decline of western civilisation.
I give this a 1/10.
The Orville: Future Unknown (2022)
Step up and interesting philosophical discussion but kinda boring
After the last two episodes which both was the two worst of the show and destroyed anything resembling logic or good writing, it was nice to see a calm pretty uneventful episode to end the season. This was miles better than those last to horrible pure trash episodes, but still not as good as The Orville can be.
It was interesting and kinda fun having the almost philosophical discussion between Cmdr. Kelly and Lysella. The episode, or even an entire show, could be about that and having those debates and showcasing different options - that would be great TV. The writing was (finally! Phuuu...) good again and the acting was almost back to normal levels.
However the wedding I could not care less about, and the ridiculous chase at the start I was just rolling my eyes and there are still a few nonsense dialogues and events that are barely passable. But as mention the main thing with this episode was how boring it was. The pacing was well off, and if it wasn't for Lysella and her musings and goings I would probably write this finale off as a horrible ending for the season.
Such a shame though. The mid 2nd to 7th episode of this season was excellent and among the best Scify ever seen, the rest of the season meh at best and as with the last episode it also had a few horrible turd-like moments.
Still, I have hope for the show. This is still miles better than anything Star Trek and have potential to become even better. Hopefully they can go on being as great as this show can be.
6/10 for this episode which is the same score I will give the season as a whole, but since the main drag are the 8th and 9th episodes (absolutely awful trash) this was still worth the watch.
Keep Breathing (2022)
Flashback bonanza and extremely unrealistic
Saw the trailer and I thought Hey, this might be good. Sadly I did not read the comments or reviews, if so I would have never bothered because as almost everyone has stated this show has so many flashbacks that its like the show plays out in the real world and not the wilderness. Those flashes are also the worst bits because they are boring, badly acted, badly written. At least the survival in the wilderness you can sort of get and the lead actress is good enough to sell that story decently.
What make the wilderness part also pretty bad is how unrealistic everything is. Why didn't they take in some survival expert? Or why not someone who lives there to at least show them around. The show runners picked a nice scenic place, but that is pretty much it. They have no idea how to make fire, how to find food or anything else needed. Although I kinda like the lead and she is good but she cannot sell unrealistic nonsense, she is not that good.
Worst though is how boring this is. So, so boring.
I give this a generous 3/10 due to liking the lead actress and a few good scenes and the beautiful scenery. The rest is awful. Stay away from this one.
The Orville: Domino (2022)
Really bad writing with the aim to save evil robots
Suddenly the union has a doomsday weapon to kill all the evil robots who are looking to exterminate all humans along with all other intelligent life. That is so convenient! Instead of killing the evil robots the Union sue for peace... But, oh no! The weapon got stolen because, of course, they only made one weapon... and now the Krill and their new friends have it and will kill all the evil robots looking to exterminate all intelligent life.
But that will not do!
The Orville and the other morons will instead try to save the evil robots looking to exterminate all humans along with all other intelligent life... Why? Dunno... So The Orville make an alliance with the evil robots. With this alliance the evil robots and our "heroes" can slaughter tens of thousands of their former friends and blow up tens of thousands of intelligent beings to save the evil robots. And, funny enough, they do this after declaring they should strive to save lives and not fight unless they have to.
Anyway, the badness continuous throughout the episode culminating in a pew pew pew VS pew pew pew, with so much absolute nonsense and such a boring shootout and such boring predictable fights I kept yawning.
And then the beautiful young lady who hates the evil mass murdering robots sacrifice herself to save said robots... Yea... so that happen... Good luck Anne Winters, you are leaving a show in complete decline.
Who wrote this dravel? I can only assume this is stimulation or that Seth will wake up in the shower from this badly written dream. If not this is by far the worst episode of this entire show.
Maggie (2022)
Safe, harmless, predictable and boring
This is perfectly okay. This is a harmless postcard, a safe trip with pillows all around you, and you know exactly what will happen, who will do what and what is next. Which make the show so boring.
All the actors are fine, the directing is fine, the light, costumes, sound etc. Etc. Are all fine. This is just one pink fluffy hallmark moment spread out as a TV show.
If this offered something more I would find it a lot more interesting to watch. This is supposed to have a comedy element, but nah, not really. This is supposed to be scify spooky witchy, but nah, it isn't. This is not scary, it is not fun, it is not exciting, nothing. This only exists and as such it is fine, but yea, it make the show very boring.
Did I mention this is boring?
Why not take a risk? Instead of the stereotypical black gay friend, how about a straight white man who always want to get into our protagonist pants? That would at least spice things up a bit. Or why not put limitation comes to her family and two of them get sick or end up in a plane crash and Maggie need to react to what she cannot predict? Or why not a dark twist? Perhaps she drank from the fountain of evil to get her powers? Perhaps she needed to kill someone under a full moon to get her powers? Or go full out into comedy or full out into witchy scify. What I am getting at is that this show i so safe, so boring and non eventful there has to be something more, something else.
This might work well with a house wife looking to escape reality for a while daydreaming about being able to tell fortune, but otherwise I cannot see who this is for. Well, in any case this is not for me.
I give this a 5/10. There is nothing wrong with this show, which contradictory is what is wrong with this show. Watch for safe cuddly harmless TV, don't watch if you do not want to get bored.
American Horror Stories: Rubber (Wo)man: Part One (2021)
As many cliches and as much wokeness into one episode as possible
This is a mixture of horror cliches and how a twitter land-whale would write a horror cliche. A gay couple, check. A red head lesbian feeling out of touch, check. A hunted house, check. Mean girls check. Some sexual acts that have nothing to do with the story, check. Slasher cliches, check.
I do not think you can make anything worse than this. This is what you find below the bottom of the barrel.
The acting is okay, set is okay, and the leather outfit is kinda sexy and cool, so I will give this a 2/10, but this is as bad as TV can be.
The Orville: Midnight Blue (2022)
My normal praise is muddled unto dust in this mess
Normally, and almost for every episode, I praise this show. Not only for the bestest Star Trek, but for its great writing, great cast and lovely feeling. Even the most political episodes have been handled so excellent I am in awe over the writers team. Here however that all falls apart.
The Moclan race, which up until now has been treated as a weird, different, sexist, but still fairly understandable people - is suddenly only sexist hateful pigs. The daughter refuses to obey any orders and constantly defy any rules and is rewarded for it. Why? Dunno. She is a girl? That the Orville is even sent on this mission feels off. Have they not caused enough trouble with the Moclan's? They should have been picked last of the entire fleet. No real admiral or politician would have ever sent them on this mission and the Captain should have refused.
But those issues are dwarfed by the two main problems with this episode.
Firstly the Moclan's prefer getting eradicated rather then allow females to exist. Even if we ignore that this plays out 100s of years into the future with a race that developed space flight, that their sexist woman hating ways is more important than survival is still so dumb I am not sure I have seen anything more stupid in SciFy. Shame on the writers.
This Topa, Moclan, Bortus story has been dragged out now for many episodes. Main focus of at least 5 episodes in 2,5 season. Get on with it already. Isn't there other interesting aliens to see visit and talk to?
But worstest of the worst is the innuendo that commander Kelly seem to be getting into Bortus... and of course ... also Klyden. There is even a weird hint of a threesome... I almost vomited at that one...
No Jolene background music can save this. Not even the amazing practical effects can give this more than one extra star.
This is probably the worst episode of the entire show. This is definitely the first episode of The Orville with bad writing, bad storytelling and subpar acting.
4/10 and I hope this was a highly temporary miss.
The Control Room (2022)
Badly written, badly directed. Ian deserve so much more.
Iain De Caestecker is one of the best actors alive today. He is stunningly amazing and can basically save anything or elevate any show. So when I say that not even Ian can get me to raise the grade of this you should understand my full meaning.
This is not the worst thing ever. The premise is actually pretty good, and a few of the twists could have worked with a better director. I was also decently intrigued for 15min or so. But there ends any positives. The Plot is almost non existing, the pacing is way off, there are plot holes in every corner and the writing is abysmal. The dialogue is below subpar and the directing is one of the worst seen. Basically this had a good idea, and a couple of great actors but they messed up everything else.
3/10 is pretty low but I cannot allow myself to give this a higher score.
The Orville: From Unknown Graves (2022)
Another hit from The Orville
With several clashes of culture and interesting switcheroos mixed with some of that subtle humour The Orville is starting to become so great at creates another hit. I do not think this is as good as the previous two episodes, but this is nevertheless excellent TV and another great episode of an amazing 3rd season.
I was a bit hesitant about the total switch of genders, it felt a bit forced and what are they going to tell those women later if the negotiations work out? But they solved it in a great way. The only slightly convoluted part is the two robots. Although their dialogue and the background story is amazing, I cannot really buy the "feelings" thing nor that there can be relationships and love between a robot and a human, no matter what Spike says...
That breaking bones of the black guy during sex was also a bit too much, but again they managed to handle it in a great way.
This show really has some of the best writers on the planet. They take controversial and very woke, very PC topics, twist them, flip them over and almost go the entire other very conservative way but then they applies lovely acting and wopidoda you have great TV. I am not sure how they do it, but they do and entire Hollywood should take notes. This is how you write great TV.
Ms. Marvel: No Normal (2022)
Cartoonish and wonderful finale from a great TV show
As with this entire show I cannot help having a smile on my face throughout the episode. Sure it is silly, this is cartoonish, and it does not always make sense but it is also fun, escapist, and lovely. This feels like a superhero show from the 1980s only with better computer graphics. If I was a kid this would be my favourite TV show.
Of course there are a couple of negatives such as the police lady and her nonsense. The ridiculous setup in the school was a bit over the top.
But who cares about some smaller negatives? This is so much fun.
And we got Captain Marvel showing up! I gave the episode a 10/10 for that alone. And I will upgrade the show from 8/10 to a 9/10 for that fantastic post credit scene and we who know the comics have a pretty good idea what is going on and what happen. I am so looking forward to The Marvels.
Great ending, wonderful show, and if you do not like this your only defence is that you are a jaded boring person who forgot your childhood. For the rest of you; watch this! TV does not get much better.