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The Good Lord Bird (2020)
The Good Woke Bird
Oh Dear! Here we go again. Nothing is safe from the woke culture nightmare that we are leaving in. No TV series or film franchise is safe from the morons who are shoving this tripe down our throats.
Where to begin on this one. The story of slavery is apparently so serious they have made a comedy about it. The show has a boy dressed up as a girl for the entire show and apparently no-one notices this. When are tv networks going to realise that they are killing entertainment by giving us this bile!!
House of Cards (2013)
1 - 5 Brilliant, 6 Awful
House of Cards is up there for it's first 5 seasons as some of the best tv I have seen. Season 6 however is an absolute disaster. Terrible writing, no dramatic weight, the unpredictability of previous seasons was gone and the absense of it's key star was the show's downfall.
If Netflix fired Kevin Spacey for the show then they shoud have recast his character with another actor. This never hurt The Crown where Olivia Coleman is actually better than Claire Foy.
Ignore S6 and watch season 1-5 instead.
Sci-Fi Bending Brilliance
Christopher Nolan has done it again. Like Denis Villeneuve and Kubrick, when Christopher Nolan makes a new movie attention needs to be paid. Not since Inception has a film been so brilliantly written. Ignore the negative reviews stating the film is awful. These morons clearly need to stick with crap from Marvel and Disney as they clearly have no intelligence or brain capacity. These morons probably thought Parasite was good! If however you want a film that gets better with every viewing due to its puzzle box script like Donnie Darko or Mulholland Drive then this is one of best films you will see all year.
Only Dune will get anywhere near this, this year!
The Shape of Water (2017)
All PC Boxes Ticked!!
Where to begin with this one. First of all Guillermo Del Toro has made some great films. Cronos, The Devil's Backbone and Pan's Labyrinth have been excellent movies.
This film however is one of the most left wing and politically correct films you will ever see. The creature is clearly supposed to resemble the real world immigrant and the Michael Shannon character is clearly a Donald Trump character who beats on the creature (we don't want immigrants here statement). Every other character is trying to appeal to every different person on the planet whether they are gay, have a disability or skin colour that has nothing to do with a decent screenplay. This is left wing diverse propaganda at it's worse that is the same as what Disney are forcing down your throat.
This is where we are with best picture winning films when a woman gets it on with a fish. There are scenes in this film that were clearly supposed to be romantic that come off as just plain laughable. The black and white dancing scene between the creature and the woman is just plain mad!!
I cannot except that Del Toro made this without the studio saying 'you have to put this diversity in your film'. By doing this the story is false and the characters are unconvincing and the film comes across as desperate in trying to shove it's message down your throat with force!!
How Blade Runner 2049 that was easily the best film of that year was beaten by this tripe speaks volumes about the academy awards!!
Good up to a point
Season 1 and 2 of the show are excellent namely because they are about Pablo Escobar. Once he is killed in a manhunt at the end of season 2 they is nowhere for this show to go.
Season 3 follows a Mexican Drug Cartel that could have been anyone! The good thing about season 1 and 2 is how the show gets under the skin of Escobar and has great insight into his personal life, the politicians and the DEA who were trying to bring him down.
The Cali Cartel are just not that interesting and did not bring about the terror on the streets of Columbia that Escobar generated.
Also season 3 is predicable and it fells artificial compared to the first two seasons.
Pointless Beyond Season 1
How this show has continuosly been renewed year after year is one of TV's great mysteries.
After 1 great season that ended the mystery of whether Brody had turned terrorist while in captivity kept you guessing until the very last episode. But like Westworld, once the season had ended there was no place for the other seasons to go.
The character of Carrie played terribly by Claire Danes from season 2 onwards is the most annoying female character in the history of TV. As the seasons get worse she becomes more and more unbearable. They should have killed her off in season 3 instead of Brody. From Season 4 onwards the shows creators who also did 24 tried to turn Carrie into Jack Bauer but this is a trick that could only be pulled off once and Claire Danes is no Keither Sutherland. Where 24 grabs you with it's tension and superb action sequences, Homeland just comes off as a rip-off just like 24: Legacy did.
This show also has stupid subplots and season 2 has the most ridiculous story about a hit and run involving Brody's Daughter that goes absolutely nowhere and is completely pointless.
Thankfully they have put this rubbish to bed once and for all!
La La Land (2016)
How did this film get a Best Director oscar. Barry Jenkins directing Moonlight was the year's highlight which is why for once the academy got it right and it won Best Picture of the year.
As a musical this film is laughable. The makers claim that this pays homage to the great musicals of Gene Kelly like Singing in the Rain. You cannot compare this tripe to that classic.
How on earth did Emma Stone win Best Actress for a film where not only could she not sing but dramatically she was unconvincing and her dance choreography with Ryan Gosling was pathetic!! How Best Actress went to her over Natalie Portman's pitch perfect performance in Jackie in bewildering!
The story is wafer thin. It tries to showcase that L.A. is a place of dreams and that these two characters who you are supposed to care for have massive dreams of becoming a jazz club owner and an actress. The chemistry is unrealitic because I didn't buy into their carrer struggles or the dialogue that is completely false.
The singing is by far the worst part of the film. Can someone explain what the point of the beginning dance and singing was?? This has nothing to do with the story set up but to showcase how colourful and flashy the production is!! These two actors however are simply unable to sing. This is the worst pairing of actors who both sing badly that I have ever seen. How academy voters can rave over the crap and completely ignore a great musical like Sweeney Todd that had Johnny Depp not only sing but have a brilliant story and the best twist you will ever see in a musical.
Yet again an overrated and bloated mess that critics raved over. They must have been watching a completely different film to what I was. These are the same people who claim thet Parasite is a mastepiece which is equally as overrated and terrible.
Stranger Things (2016)
Lazy Sci-Fi Series
Can't understand the following that this has. This show has not got an original idea in it's head. It's like watching The Force Awakens 3 times in a row!
The set up of character and story is exactly the same with every season, with annoying characters and stupid sub-plots thrown in for good measure.
Season 1 IS NOT brilliant television which some people will tell you it is. This is not The Wire or The Sopranos. This show isn't in the same Galaxy as those classic TV Shows.
The first season copies everything from The X-Files to Stephen King to nostalgia Spielberg films from the 80's. It also plays on the 'there's a government conspiracy cover up'. Because we haven't seen that before have we.
Season 2 has the same set up about a place called the upside down where a monster comes from so the kids get together (like they did in S1) They have to fight a monster (like they did in S1) Eleven has to defeat the monster (like she did in S1) Season 2 is actually worse because this has a 7th episode that has absolutely nothing to do with the episode prior or after it and can be ignorned completely. They only put this in because Milly Bobbie Brown wasn't getting enought screen time and clearly her agent was upset about this!! If you have seen any of her press conferences with her co-stars she clearly has to be the centre of attention and everything has to be about her!!
Season 3 starts with yet another monster coming over from another dimension and yep you guessed it the gang get back together and Eleven saves the day yet again. At no point during this overlong and tired series do you fell that any of these kids are going to be in danger. Season 3 is by far the worse however as they fell the need to force left wing politics into it's storytelling just like the trash Disney films are doing. There is also a ridiculous subplot between Winona Ryder and David Harbour that fells that is should be in another show. It's just them arguing that fells like an episode out of Eastenders.
Non of these characters have progressed over three seasons. Eleven is as powerful in Season 3 as she was in Season 1. The character arcs are terrible that have no development. They are there to serve a creature feature. The effects are ok but you've seen all this before. The kids are average but nothing special even though they are clearly written as The Goonies.
Season 4 threatens to do the exact same predictable and boring set up with no emotional pay-off. At this stage I am completely uninvested in any of these characters because S4 will follow the same predicable and safe formula.
Little Women (2019)
Another year, another terrible Greta Gerwig film.
After 2 tv series and 3 films why does Hollywood fell we need another version of this awful and syrupy story about a bunch of women standing around and complaining how they should stand on their own two feet.
Bad acting and badly directed. Greta Gerwig is the most overrated Director ever!! Lady Bird was bad enough but this tripe is even worse. They should have just renamed the film 'The Me Too Movement Club'. Avoid at all costs. How this crap was nominated for best film over A Hidden Life and Ad Astra is a mystery. Oh that's right, because we have to nominate films directed by women because apparantly female directors make great films. Take Note: There has not been a great film directed by a woman since Zero Dark Thirty and that was 8 years ago!!
Manchester by the Sea (2016)
A Cinematic Masterpiece
This film is truly a masterpiece. An incredibly powerful portrayal of grief and loss. Casey Affleck truly joins the ranks of the acting giants in this film like DeNiro in Raging Bull, Pacino in The Godfather Part II and Nicholson in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.
As the film slowly peels back layers into Casey Affleck's character you get the felling that something has happened in his past but nothing can prepare you for the revelation half way through the film. It is a sucker punch to the gut unlike anyting I have seen in a film.
I was so effected by this film and the amazing heartfelt performances. There is not a scene or a line of dialogue that feels out of place or false. Michelle Williams is also excellent. One of the most moving films you will ever see.
Gods and Generals (2003)
Ignore The Critics
I was very worried going into this film as I had seen the very low rotten tomatoes rating of 8%. That was worse than the Alexander 2004 review of 16% and that film was terrible so my hopes were not high for this. I had read reviews stating that this film was dull and moved at a snails pace.
Never have critics been so wrong.
This ia an epic prequel to 'Gettysburg' examining the early days of the American Civil War through the experiences of three historical figures. Colonel Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain must leave behind his quiet academic life, General Thomas Stonewall Jackson must contend with his great religious faith, and General Robert Lee is forced to choose between his loyalty to the USA and his love of the Southern states. The film is long at 3 1/2 hours but I was never bored and was totally invested throughout.
Starship Troopers (1997)
One of the best satires I have ever seen. Now 20 years old and a film upon release that critics just did not get. So ahead of it's time with it's hardcore anti-war stance.
The special effects have not dated and are still jaw dropping compared to alot of movies released in the late 90's. This would also turn out to be the last great violent film that Paul Verhoeven would make. Like Robocop and Total Recall before it, the film has extreme violence but it also spends the first hour building it's charcters so that when they are picked off by the bugs in the film's second half you really give a damn. And what a second half!! There are 4 extended scenes that lasts over an hour when the troopers go up against the army of bugs. It gets more and more violent as it goes on.
Not The Biopic Judy Garland Deserves
I went into this thinking this was going to be a solid biopic. Came out bitterly disappointed. Renée Zellweger's excellent performance aside, the rest of the movie is very weak with bland performances. The script is very lazy as this only concentrated on the last leg of Judy's stage performances in London with 'The Talk of The Town'.
The glory years are completely absent. There is nothing about her casting in Easter Parade or A Star is Born. It does show anything of her 4 marriage breakdowns. We see her already divorced from her 4th husband.
The film also only shows tiny inserts of her on The Wizard of Oz set and how she was emotionally abused but it never delves too deep into this. These sciences are also very heavy handed with a miscast performance from a young Judy. Worst all all, the film never gets under the skin of this legendary performer that we all wanted.
It Chapter Two (2019)
A Bloated Mess
It Chapter 1 was a 5 out of 10 film and that film shares the same problem as the second chapter. They are not scary. This chapter however manages to be something even worse. The second chapter could have really built upon the lack of tension and scares but this seems to want to be a comedy. The grown up cast are ok but the flashbacks that were done via de-aging is so obvious and really off putting.
The film is also way too long. It is so bloated where you are given scene after scene of characters being chased by something. There is absolutely no fear element here what so ever!! I found myself laughing where Mrs Kersh chases Beverly. This was promoted in the trailer as a suspenful scene but comes off as probably the funniest scene in the movie.
The film is just so badly paced compared to other Stephen King films at 3 hours. The Director's Cut of Doctor Sleep and The Green Mile both clock in at 180 minutes and they are both hugely satisfying. Again just like the first movie, Pennywise is just not menacing. Everytime the clown is about to kill someone the scence cuts to CGI teeth or a CGI face.
The fact remains that Cary Fukanaga's version would have been so disturbing and utterly scary if only Warner Bros. had the balls to go through with it. The concept art for Pennywise alone is more scary then Bill Skarsgard's performance!! Instead they opted for a Director whose only film before IT was Mama that equally as forgettable. Yet another example of how not to do horror.
After watching Hereditary last year I was blown away and couldn't wait for what Ari Aster was going to do next. Oh dear! Is was like what Richard Kelly did after he directed Donnie Darko. His follow up Southland Tales was just as awful.
This movie makes no sense, the characters motivations make no sense, it is unintentionally funny and rips off other better movies. The sex scene was probably the most funniest scene since Colin Farrell's sex scene in Alexander.
I lost count the amount of times Florence Pugh's character cries in this movie and I had no sympathy for her as she was just so annoying. And when she's not crying then she's being nice to people any sane person would run the hell away from.
This started slowly and got gradually worse. Never have I seen a so called horror movie miss the mark so badly. Truly awful. The worst film I've see this year.
The Fall of Star Wars
What a terrible movie. Kathleen Kennedy, you need to step down. She clearly has no understanding of Star Wars. Let me begin by saying this is not an attack on feminism or J.J Abrams but this film is awful. Ignore the ratings that are above 4 of out 10.
The whole film apologizes for The Last Jedi and tells you something completely different from what that film did. Then it attempts to cram everything else into a boring 2.5 hours. The scene where Kylo Ren visits The Emperor is one of the worst scenes ever in a Star Wars film. The Emperor tells him that he cheated death and then mimics a line from The Revenge of the Sith. No actual explanation how he survived being thrown 5 thousand feet to his death by Darth Vader in The Return of the Jedi and then completely obliterated on the Death Star when it blew up at the climax of that movie. I'm pretty sure George Lucas was saying that this is the end of the Death Star and everything on it. This was such a bad case of desperation to bring back The Emperor because Rian Johnson killed off Snoke.
J.J Abrams work in the past has been good. I like the Star Trek Reboot and is one of the best reboots I have seen along with Casino Royale and I also liked MI:3 but he has completely messed up this film that clearly had no direction of where to go as a trilogy. This trilogy's desperate attempt to inject feminism into the saga has backfired terribly. Kathleen Kennedy saying that these films have strong independent women has been a blatant lie. Rey is the worst character in the whole of the 9 star wars films. Having a character and saying that she is brilliant at everything and cannot be defeated and anything, train herself as a jedi and beat someone who is trained with the dark side of the force is just ridiculous. Her character was already fully developed after The Force Awakens. Her force powers are even more stronger is this film that they were in the last film. Finn again has nothing to do in this film. His wardrobe has gone through a more interesting arc than he has.
There are great things that you can do with a diverse cast if you have a brilliant script. Spiderman: Into The Spider-Verse and HBO's Watchmen are just 2 examples!!
In the end this all about a corporation wanting to make more money and have no understanding of what makes Star Wars great. Where is use to be about a great vision of a bright young Director, it has now become money making scheme to cram all of it's political correctness down your throat
The Irishman (2019)
Scorsese, De Niro, Pacino, and Pesci are all operating at the top of their game. The 3 1/2 hour run time never sags. One of the great crime epics. Not since Once Upon A Time in America has a gangster epic been so superb.
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
Below Average Sci-Fi
Ignore the audience reviews of 94% on rotten tomatoes and take note from critics.
This film gets so lost amongst CGI and motion capture, cartoon villains and a totally unconvincing romantic sub plot. Just like Ghost in the Shell there is absolutely no substance at all here. Convoluted plot, seen it all before sci-fi. Who am I, where did I come from etc.
If you want a proper sci-fi film then watch Blade Runner 2049 instead