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supermaggie
Reviews
Pastewka (2005)
Not-to-miss Masterpiece with little flaws
Another (yes, there are several) proof that there is (a lot) German humor, and superb humor in this case. The episodes are so outstandingly well-written, hilarious, on point, I would have to give it 10 points for the extraordinarily creative, funny way of showing absurd everyday situations, if it wasn't for the occasional animal being killed in several episodes, which never was funny, is funny or will ever be funny. A shame, since this great, clever, hilarious show does not need such disgusting, cheap tricks, they just harm the otherwise most delightful experience. When noe animals are harmed, it is pure bliss to watch this show and everybody who misses it (e.g. Because they believe they have to keep thinking that there is no German humor) - misses out on something really good. Little masterpieces, each episode (minus the animal-scenes).
Scream (2022)
Good, but not good enough due to the nefarious pandering to new fans while angering the old ones
As a Scream fan from the very beginning, I can clearly say that the film is okay, but not nearly as brilliant as the makers self-complacently claim it to be. And that's because - despite the constant emphasis on homage and the discussion about what old fans want - it's ultimately (from the first few seconds) pure pandering to new fans that alienates the old fans. And so that no one forgets, the stupid Babadook is quoted again at the very end, a film that is even more lame than its mentioning, because for everyone who has deliberately, happily and cleverly decided against children, it does not come as a surprise / shock that parenthood is horror / hell and maddening. No matter what one may say against the much-cited sequels, but Scream 5 (and while, out of sheer homage, haha, the film was arrogantly called simply Scream, I clearly added a 5 to my copy, because this is not the masterpiece of Wes C., as) is better than Scream 4 (which was also desperately, embarrassingly and poorly trying to force a generational change), but far, far worse than the original, as well as Scream 2 - and in my opinion even Scream 3. The good thing was that you got to see Billy Loomis / Skeet Ulrich again. I missed Stu, even though Kyle Gallner was of course a great choice as his nephew, but his participation was completely wasted for a mini appearance. And then (spoiler alert) killing the heart of the story - if Sidney is the muscle and Gale is the voice of Scream, (and Randy was the brains), then Dewey was definitely the heart. This excludes further requels, and I don't see a fresh start after this attempt either. Good, but not good enough due to the nefarious suggestion/pretentiousness and pandering while angering the old fans.
Ich bin dein Mensch (2021)
Great questions and the best/truest conclusion ever
A really clever, (in particular for women) highly enjoyable movie that asks clever and (increasingly) relevant questions and gives you enough information to make up your own mind/answers while coming to/having the main protagonist come to a very good and true solution herself - fantastic, witty, wonderful. I liked a lot that the lead woman was not having the hots for a(ny) man/men, but was an independent and working woman, I liked a lot how charming and yet somewhat sterile (believable as an android) Dan Stevens performed, that he did not just please her but also irked her by telling her that she was selfish, that many important angles were taken/shown, but the grubby field of physical contact did not get much space (no more than necessary). Well, well done. And like I said: the best conclusion ever!!! I cannot understand why this was not considered for an academy award - on the other hand: Beyond silence was also ignored in 1996, while Coda with the exact same plot was awarded best movie in 2022- not quite understandable.
Der Vampir auf der Couch (2014)
Classic enjoyable vampire stuff and fresh ideas as well
Don't believe the (pointlessly) negative reviews, they kept me from giving this wonderful (period piece) vampire comedy a shot for quite some time. Yes, there is Freud in it, but no psychoanalysis, but there are many well-known characters in many movies with no professional effect, there is not the word therapy in the original German title, therefore the traslation is a bit misguiding and yet, the character of Freud is not senseless but important for the movie as the joint to bring all the characters together, to make the story possible as is, e.g. With all the reflection talk (and I did like the play on words a lot), and this is also some fresh idea added to the vampire movie tropes, which I - as a vampire fan - did also enjoy a lot, because these are classic typical vampire movie ingredients you want to see as a fan. And there are -besides the vampire actors - the wonderful David Bennent and Lars Rudolph on top - what more can you ask for? An enjoyable, classic and yet somewhat fresh take on vampire stories - wonderful!
Dexter: New Blood (2021)
Complete waste/failure
They said the open ending in S8 was not satisfying so they had to make another season. No.1: the ending was not unsatisfying because it was open, but because it ended sadly (for Dexter, but mostly for Debra), so No.2 (fitting term): in what world is the ending of New Blood more satisfying??? But since pretty much all other critics already pointed this out, I want to mention another bothering aspect: as much as I welcome including Native Americans (there has in no way been justice done to the indigenous people!) after Dexter's two (very) blond significant others Rita (his first love/wife/mother of his son) and Hanna (his big love of all times), it is somewhat strange to see him with a blackhaired woman, who is completely different (also character-wise), but this is one (minor) thing, but a very fair haired woman and a blond/red-haired man would never have a son with dark/almost black hair, in particular since Harrison was extremely fair-haired at 5. He could have darkened a bit, but never this much. This is just the recent usual discriminating and hateful banning of all things/people blond from the screen. Except for one extra, there is no blond person at all (even Dexter got darker hair) in the present story, only in the flashbacks you can see that - of course - the ultimate evil guy/villain is/was blond (and now is grey-haired). Wonderful, as always heinous blond(e)s-bashing and -banning. And don't tell me about the best casting, since this doesn't matter else plus many, many blond actors and actresses nowadays are being dyed black for roles or feel coerced/shamed into dying their hair darker in order to get jobs. The other way round? Nope. It seems diversity (very good and important, if done right, real diversity without excluding groups) overburdens Hollywood, so something has got to give, and this is blond people. You must be so proud. Wrong and pointless. And this is also true for this Dexter-season.
Breaking Surface (2020)
Just for fans of animal torture
I am glad I am not the only one who is repelled by another portrayal of a blonde as dumb, by the lack of logic, but mostly by the disgusting abuse of the dogs. Spoilers alert: Like others pointed out, beside feeding one dog cigarettes and letting him/her freeze, it was too awful to watch the mean bxxxch murder the poor dog guarding his home. She was the one breaking in and should have left the way she came in and the poor dog alone. And the viewers are supposed to root for these awful people? I could not feel the despair of them but the despair of the people getting home and finding their beloved, true, brave pet/family member being murdered while he did what he was supposed to do. They will miss him every day due to the ignorance and selfishness of two dumb sisters. I did not care if they will be saved after this heinous act, no, I even hoped they will not be saved. Who is supposed to enjoy this movie? I would give zero stars if possible.
Crooked House (2017)
The movie Knives out should have been
I cannot stress enough how much I loathe(d) Knives out, but one could see the potential buried underneath the overexaggerated negativity and the lopsided (and therefore) misguided propaganda. And here is the real deal. This is the movie Knives out could have and should have been. Elegant, clever, without being hatefully destructive, without twisting the material and characters in order to politicize onesidedly. Just a clever, somewhat believable crime story, entertaining, easy on the eyes (and ears), just a delight for the cultivated viewers and not the vulgar ones who are just out to find some enemies they can hate. Despite the superb cast, I could not recommend Knives out to the crime story lovers I know (or anybody else), but I would recommend this movie here easily to everybody - no, wait, except of course, like I said, to people who are just looking for disturbance /groups they can senselessly hate. Whereas Knives out is vulgar and simple propaganda to please the crowds, this movie offers elegance, class and beautiful imagery on top. Well done/the much better choice - for the ones who can see that.
Joko gegen Klaas - Das Duell um die Welt: Episode #3.3 (2014)
Playing Yahtzee with cannibals and more - a truly great episode
After the incredibly funny and entertaining season 2 I was surprised that episode 3.3 was able to top it. Playing Yahtzee with cannibals, diving with the legendarily dangerous - or so - dugongs, hugging wrecking balls, singing in Jamaica (backflash clip), a very unique, truly international soccer penalty kicking match and more (not to mention honking on top of a captive ballon), this was a truly crazy and great episode, not unlike Jackass or Japanese action shows, but with a better/tighter concept and you even learn something all around the globe- truly world class.
Joko gegen Klaas - Das Duell um die Welt (2012)
The renewal of crazy action and fun
(No, not only few German shows deliver fun, but this is definitely a particularly crazy/new one.) Who says Germans lack humour?? Besides great intellectual satire (from the ingenious Loriot to the political Dieter Nuhr etc.), fantastic filmmakers like Michael Bully Herbig etc. Joko and Klaas have renewed 'crazy' with the fun-and-thrill/entertainment-packed shows 'J&K against ProSieben' and 'J&K-duel around the world - not unlike weird Japanese shows, just a little more grounded and diversified/rich. Highly recommended (also approved by Evil Jared!).
Joko und Klaas gegen ProSieben (2019)
The renewal of crazy action and fun
Who says Germans lack humour?? Besides great intellectual satire (from the ingenious Loriot to the political Dieter Nuhr etc.), fantastic filmmakers like Michael Bully Herbig etc. Joko and Klaas renewed 'crazy' with the fun-and-thrill/entertainment-packed shows 'J&K against ProSieben' and 'J&K-duel around the world - not unlike weird Japanese shows, just a little more grounded and diversified/rich. Highly recommended (also approved by Evil Jared!).
Into the Dark: My Valentine (2020)
Very clever written and great cast
Fantastic portrayal of how people (everyday) follow and help wrong Jesuses (actually: devils) and thereby wrong the victims double, allowing the aggressors (Royal) to torture their random (i.e. Unjustified) victim (Valentine), taking everything away from the victim, doing it wrong/harm without any justification, and in this case (spoiler) allowing the evil perverting/truth-twisting bully to even kill three innocent/good people. Most people (I met) are like the three Trezzure fans guarding the front door (helping the wrong side without even giving the truth/victim a chance and therefore allowing even worse things to happen/ allowing the devil to do evil things). Somebody once said: The world is not threatened by people who are evil, but by those who allow evil. And I have never seen this principle so well implemented in picture and sound like in this episode. Well, well written and presented. Who does not like this episode may have recognized themselves in the three (most toxic) fans. Just bother to look twice instead of believing easy 'truths' presented by influencing media/people/etc. I just would have changed the (okay) ending by Valentine facing the media and the audience as Valentine, telling the whole truth and showing them how wrong they were and how they wronged her (and Julia).
Locke & Key (2020)
Could have been a top rating
If I hadn't watched the first season until the end, my rating would have been decidedly higher. I would have ignored that the bad school bully is a blonde again (of course, why would Hollywood change its evil, wrong propaganda) and that the positive counter-blonde is being unnecessarily cruel to her as a reaction, I would have enjoyed that the show offers not only a nice suspenseful fantasy-plot, but also a naturally well-balanced, interesting diverse cast. (Spoiler alert for the following:) But by twisting the harmonious ending, where the oh-so-awful blond bully turns around and acts as a friend and helper, and is being rewarded by being hit and obsessed by a demon (not the brunette and not the African American dude, no, the blonde girl of course), it allows the makers to portray some blond girl as completely evil, again, in season 2, and this time - to make sure there is no positive counterpart (can't allow a positive blonde, god help us) they dyed Kinsey darker/fairly brunette. As hostile ( in a mean, unjustified, hateful discriminating way) against blondes as it can get. Some people never learn. A shame. Just tell stories and leave unfair, hatred-stirring politics out of it. This is not right, even if you praise yourself on being a hero by spreading hate.
Slasher: Kindred (2021)
There is so much wrong about this season
I liked the first season of slasher, everything after that was not convincing, but I really disliked the fourth season, partly because we have seen the elements before (Orphan, Knives out, etc.), partly because its disgusting (display of) violence but in particular because it is mainly left-wing propaganda against the rich (and I am not rich myself at all, but this is BS). Like the horrible Knives out it just milks the dumb deadbeat clichés of rich people having it better, which Knives out and Slasher S4 clearly show the opposite of: no, they do not. It is the poor, felt for servants that are the lucky ones with parents/families who value and love them and back them up no matter what. They are not to be pitied, if at all: they are the ones to be envied. Nobody wants a father that jeopardizes and loathes his own children, even if rich. And if you are too unprofessional to take orders, you shouldn't be working as a servant - that's your job, if you do not like that: quit. And neither in Knives out nor in this season the servants were actually treated badly, (as s.o. Who has experienced both:) if they want to know what a bad work climate looks like they should get a job in a free market enterprise - one would think Hollywood writers know that, but maybe they just work in (peaceful, luxurious) home office nowadays. But Liv's mother taking away a mother's child for money? No jealousy justifies this (she is responsible for bringing up her family without being a criminal and hurting and destroying others). I did not like the portayal of the children as spoiled, because they were not, the most spoiled and disgusting person is a gold digger that has much less earned the money, in particular if they murder in order to get their will and if they bite off other people's finger like a rabid animal. All these productions do is support the (unjustified) jealousy and spread hate, like Aphra's hate for rich people - rather be a total lunatic than be grateful for what they give you? Is that what the writers think/propose? How many people would be out of job without rich company owners? Kristy, O'Keefe, or even Jaden or Vincent should have won. And Florence etc. Were at least interesting, Liv and Birgit were not. Therefore I did not like the ending, even if it tried to make up for some of the statements before in showing Birgit's crime, Grace's sin and making Liv become as bad and cold and powerhungry like Spencer etc., but the damage is done, the evil message spread/confirmed, although neither Liv nor Grace nor Birgit were victims, they were (at least) as aggressive and greedy as the others, and the others have the excuse of having had a monster as father and a really awful childhood/start in life and life/family. Sorry, I always condemned McCarthy, but I am starting to see a point. Have you learned nothing from Eastern Europe's decay?
He's All That (2021)
Not perfect, but entertaining
Yes, it is a teenie romance. Yes, it is less good than the original. Yes, Matthew Lillard is (as always) the best thing about it. Yes, it repeats the mistake of the original by (still) focussing on the looks. And Yes, yes, yes, Cameron never looked bad/looked a lot better with his long hair/long hair and glasses etc. Don't make you a loser. But they all do a solid job, it is nice entertainment for 90 minutes/I have seen much worse. And Addison/Padget is not so bad at all, I thought Rachael Leigh Cook was okay in the original and I liked the mother in the remake, but I did not recognize that it was Racheal playing the mother, this is how unique her looks/performances were/are in my eyes, therefore: you can not expect too much from teenie romances and their actors, just that you are having a good time watching it, and this movie fulfills this. No more, no less.
Nord bei Nordwest: Der wilde Sven (2015)
A Viking curse, absurd dialogue and an art-loving cow
Admittedly, there are German crime shows with a faster pace and maybe better plots (Marie Brand, e.g., is superb), but I do like the setting, the nordish atmosphere, the trio of the policeman gone veterinarian and 'his' two redhaired women - one as great as the other - and this episode is the most atmospheric one since it is playing at (and with) superstition/what is believed to be an old Viking curse, that no man, just two women can fight off. There is not just the great 'The fog'-like imagery and feeling, this episode also has some of the most absurd/quirky and therefore incredibly funny dialogue. And the love for animals is another big plus of the show, in this case an art-loving cow. Just great!
Nord bei Nordwest: Dinge des Lebens (2020)
Most gripping episode
I have seen several, but not all episodes yet, but this seems to be the most gripping one, the first minutes alone are so riveting - just great!
The Terror: All the Demons Are Still in Hell (2019)
Haunting beauty
Fresh ideas (historic events, but not often addressed in movies and shows), presented in a stilish and haunting beauty - even if you are not a fan of the 1930ies and 1940ies (like me) - you should check this out. This production is truly worth it.
Marie Brand: Marie Brand und das Lied von Tod und Liebe (2012)
A most wonderful, funny investigating team and clever stories
Despite the wide popularity of weekly crime stories on TV, I am no easy audience for these. Although I appreciate the high quality of many installments, often featuring great, original, quirky characters as investigators, I am just not enough of a crime story fan. Whenever, however, there is a particularly exquisite investigating team, even paired with excellent, clever stories, I am more than thrilled. It took me a while to discover the pairing of the wonderful, soulful, wise Mariele and the perfectly hilarious Hinnerk - who gave us one of the cutest Hollywood moments over the last decades as soldier trying to help a horse in War Horse - as her well-meaning but clumsy and sometimes even awfully macho partner Jürgen (if it wasn't for Hinnerk's boyish and innocent charm, women should sometimes be repelled by the character and his diverse remarks, but) - they complement each other perfectly, and Marie(le) finds a way to correct and turn around Jürgen's detours/errors. And sometimes he has to pay for it (harmlessly) like in this most wonderful episode, where you need to try hard not to laugh out loud (since the team's talks and actions are so funny and absurd and true) while gripping your seat since the crime plot is really fascinating. Great performances, (very) funny moments, justifiedly revengeful characters, clever investigating with a team where the chemistry is right, even some romance, this show has it all and more. And they do not need explosions or any other ballyhoo for it. Highly recommended. Quality entertainment.
La chiesa (1989)
Complete lack of thrill, logic, reason, decency - no Argento for me anymore
I read many times, that this movie is an 80ies horror classic. After watching it, I totally disagree. Not only is there very little horror /fantasy elements a fan of this genre likes to watch, it is not only full of logical holes (why is Herman suddenly alive again to kill the poor teacher? Why is there a hole/cave/vacuum under the church/the seal/the cross, when the knights laid the cross directly over the sand/earth-covered bodies? Why should the bishop jeopardize his sacred mission by telling Gus? And so on.) But -connected with the lack of logic-: the most repulsive reason: this is another movie destroyed by uncalled for, obsessive hate for Germans: again set in Germany (where Dario at least gets right that these oh so evil Germans have been taking in a lot of black people like Father Gus for a long time now - and have also put a lot of money into Italy for many decades which the Italians were never reluctant ro take), and bashing those oh so evil knights (not Italy's fascist dictator Mussolini, not the still active, still murderous Mafia, not the recent Berlusconi (or evil politicians before him respectively, I know when the movie was made), etcetc., but teutonic knights - a still problematic/dangerous group indeed, haha)- well, Signore Argento, if these knights were so awful, how come they did exactly the right thing locking these people away for centuries, since when they come back they turn out to be demons bringing along the devil himself - I guess they were not the innocent victims after all, killed by evil, evil teutonic knights, right? And why let the own daughter portray one of those evil German characters? Everything absurdly inconsequent, mean, and in the end mostly lame and not worth giving a shot. I am done, all the critics may praise Argento into 7th heaven, I never ever understood why he is so successful anyway. Boring, hateful, dumb. My opinion.
Wickie und die starken Männer (2009)
Worth your while, give it a(nother) shot, cute and entertaining
I am surprised by the many poor reviews. On the other hand, the movie did not get me the first time I watched it, either. Maybe it is because the marketing raised the wrong expectancies? Or people expected something like Manitou's shoe or the equally hilarious Dreamship surprise, I guess this is what kept me from completely getting the Wickie movie the first time. And I was around when the animated show was on TV, I did watch it sporadically, but I was not a superfan. Yes, it is not a hilarious comedy like the huge Bully hits, sure, it is a children's movie. Yet, I found it very entertaining and likable, once I had forgotten all the associations and expectancies and just watched the movie for what it is: a cute adventure story with wonderful, diverse characters (a character for everybody to like/identify with), a great message for kids (yes, a lot of Wickie's plans would not work, but this is not the point/this does not make him not clever. The point is, that it encourages kids to get into science, use their heads, not define themselves by physical strength alone, not define smart kids/people as lame Nerds, and in addition there is the message, that females are strong and clever, too, in particular Ylva, who perfectly directs her husband into the right directions). And en passent Bully succeeds to show how real diversity is established in a natural, unobtrusive way - and this in a movie about Vikings, a pretty little diverse looking group. And let's not forget the funny action. If you enjoyed Pirates of the Carribbean I can only recommend you to give Bully's Wickie a shot. And for the ones who liked it: watch the DVD features with the Making of where Bully tells funny details about the roles, actors and the shooting process. There is even a music video featuring Bully and Sasha ('If you believe in love tonight', Dick Brave, etc.). And if you already saw it and were disappointed: give it a second shot, you will see it with different eyes and not regret it.
The Mentalist: White as the Driven Snow (2014)
Symbolic episode of a disgusting motive behind it all
When watching stories told from the view of bank robbers and other criminals, where Hollywood wants you to root for the criminals and wish them luck with their crimes, a part of me always is repelled and is aware how unethical this is. And it is surprising that I have never had so much sympathy for the designated villain like in this episode. R. Haibach - given a German name to expand the disgusting uncalled for hate against Germans with many of the villains being given German sounding names in particular throughout the poor season 5 - built up to be the ultimate creep, does not work for me. He is the ultimate victim for me. He was being tortured and maimed because Patrick Jane - whose evil character is perfectly revealed here - manipulates and plays with people just as he likes. He is arrogant, plays God and therefore gets (innocent) people killed and hurt. I completely understand and feel with Haibach, although I surely condemn his actions. But in this case I fully understand where it comes from. With this episode The Mentalist no longer is a good show for me, since it shows the true character of its roles (and makers), there is no decency (or justification) in building up enemies by being arrogant and feeling superior and righteous, in particular since the people behind it often err, and the enemies change, but the victims stay hurt - a very symbolic episode of what is and will always be wrong with Hollywood, because no matter what they preach, they obviously will never change. And none of it is justified, it was and is just wrong, only the victims change.
The Mentalist: Red Lacquer Nail Polish (2013)
One of the lowlights of the poor season 5
(Attention: massive spoilers ahead:) When I first watched the show - hooked by the intelligent dialogues - I somehow missed season five. After reading the disappointed reviews and finally watching season five myself I have to say: I did not miss anything. As always when Hollywood - and even til then wonderful writers - hit a lack of creativity (like when the Red John story came to a halt in season 5), the solution/marching order is: warm up old- not new, recent, relevant, but cliched, overcome, (now) inappropriate - enemies, and in 90% this means: dig up racism (you may call it "just" discrimination, but either way it is disgusting, hurtful, unjustified hate, slander) against Germans, as reflected in giving all the evil, creepy characters German (or rather mostly somehow German sounding) names, this happens throughout all seasons of the Mentalist (and most other crime shows), but cumulative in season 5, like I said, since it is the worst season and needed a boost, even if - as always - this depraved hate rarely works/improves anything (care for proof/some examples? Haibach, Schulz, Panzer, Deutsch, Wagner, of course Volker (in this case not even a real/common German family name but a first name), Wagner, Gottlieb, Wiehagen, and in this very episode: Reinhardt and Vogelsong (double points), and so on). The makers cannot even argue that it is an actual grievance and they need to set an example since there are many other nations with more contemporary grievances which they never slander. It's just ancient hateful propaganda hoping to get stick-in-the-mud hateful viewers to approve. No approval from decent people though. And if you want German (sounding) names to slander, how about Scherer, Heller, Appelbaum, Weiss, Ulrich, Hochman, Hochfeld and so on? It wouldn't matter much if it was a bad show from the beginning, but ruining one good show after another just for hate and to please a hateful audience for no justified reasons at all? Shame on you for ruining a good show(s) and insulting millions of innocent people again and again. At least it actually says more about the obsessive personality of the writers than their victims of the insulting attacks (and these are (uncalled for) hate crime attacks against an entire nation).
Shameless: Father Frank, Full of Grace (2021)
Too shameless in the end - a shame!!
It's so sad to see another great show hitting rock bottom on the very last inches. It started with the completely unfitting Eva Braun-remark - just another lame, mean attempt to pin America's problems/crimes on other nations, even if - as so often - it is not fitting (anymore) at all (this is what many other garden variety shows do, but I always thought Shameless was better than that, I was wrong - after 11 seasons), and the end is just alarming: if yelling and singing is the reaction that comes to the writers' minds when somebody's possession is going up and being destroyed in flames and being madly, ill-willingly/sadistically happy to see that person suffer - that is highly disturbing. But the worst thing was the abduction of the dog. They didn't even bother to show what happened to him. How about, wrtiters/creators, your kid/the child/baby of someone you know is being abducted on the backseat of your car while the car is stolen by some depraved subject - is this still funny, too? Having no respect for other humans is one thing, but harming innocent, powerless animals is so low, I don't find words for it. Shame on everybody who thinks this scene was a good idea. Like other reviewers wrote: Huge let down after many great seasons...
Graf Bobby, der Schrecken des wilden Westens (1965)
Just a wonderful hommage - don't miss the fun
I disagree with other reviews who think this is silly. I actually did not watch this Count Bobby-movie as a child, and I was afraid it could be cheesy and silly (given the fact that it is an Austrian Western from the 1960ies), but I was extremely positively surprised. It is not the best Count Bobby movie (which would probably be the first), but it has a good/actual "Wild West" storyline, great female characters (Olga Schobernova, Hanne Wieder etc.) and, of course, the great Peter Alexander and Gunther Philipp, along with funny performances by these two. It is (refreshingly after all the gore and darkness of recent movies) harmless, yes, but I do not mind at all, it is just cute and yet suspense and fun and a bit action - to sum it up, it is less a silly parody than a cute hommage and therefore even close to the perfect Michael Bully Herbig's Manitou's Shoe. Don't overthink it, just enjoy.
Kingdom Hospital (2004)
A complete waste of time, just an insight into a hateful narcissist's mind
Remakes are never good/rarely make sense at all. I am not Danish, but I truly enjoyed the original series by Lars von Trier 'Kingdom/Riget', but this remake by the painfully overrated Stephen King is probably the worst remake ever. It, however, tells you a lot about Mr. King's personality. While Lars von Trier is clearly an arrogant and narcissistic person who finds a sadistic joy in torturing his characters, he does so without actually judging. He pretty much leaves it to the audience to make up their minds. Mr King, on the other hand, is even more arrogant and narcissistic and seems to believe he is allowed to be judge and henchman in one person. He judges and condemns characters he thinks deserve it, sympathizes with the antisocial punks lurking around wothlessly in the parking lot and just hassling people who have no connection to them. I am not talking about the homeless, I am talking about the useless juveniles who got nothing better to do than to make decent people's lives a living hell, together with the useless janitor who aggressively kicks the poor car just doing its job and sounding alarm, he thereby shows no respect at all for the car or the car's owner, just like the awful hassling crowd, and Mr King sides with them - says a lot. He even involves Abel and Christa, who were some kind of angels in the original and though they - unfortunately like 'real' angels - did not do much to help people, but at least they didn't harm and terrorize them. Not so in the remake, since they as well torture Stegman by smearing paint on his poor car. Stegman is an arrogant (but so is S. King) snob and he did harm Mona K. Beyond forgiveness, for St. King, however, Mona is not the reason for his hate for Stegman, Mona rarely appears in the remake and St. King clearly does not give a s... about her and her poor mother. In my eyes Mona is the biggest victim in both versions and in order to reach justice for her, Stegman has to be sacked and tried and banned from practicing, but attacking his car etc. Does not help things/is not right at all. And having his girlfriend kill the poor rats in both versions is just terrifying as well. But this is, what S. King is about and what he thinks the American audience expects: just reason to hate. Lars von Trier is cleverly observing and let's the audience watch uncommented, too, but S. King serves a/his opinion and delivers his 'solutions' right along with it. And it is all clichés and not worth watching. While von Trier uses Mary's background to introduce the incredible, ingenious character played by the wonderful Udo Kier - a most original, fantastic, creative character that I cannot imagine anybody else can stage (that's probably one reason why he is not in the remake))- S. King only comes with the most beaten to death clichés every ghost story serves, beating on them heavily just in order to create even more hate. And just for reasons of completeness: the Baseball-episode is mere BS, as is the 'Miracle Jimmy'-episode. I wonder why S. King was brought into a hospital after his accident and not into a church, if he thinks that some miracle working priest can help better than physicians and scientists. This is just the blunt bawling of ignorant, dumb people who like to sympathize with rude, insulting juveniles and featherbrainedly jump on the wagon to agitate (not only against scientists but also) against the police. I call this dumb, blunt, tacky, sucked dry, arrogant, ignorant, and just all in all a waste of time. No more remakes and in particular no more remakes/anything by Mr. 'hateful, cheesy, overrated' King anymore, please. And I would be very surprised if he gets his vaccination by Biontech (yes, it was created in Germany by Biontech, not by Pfizer) after all his insults, he can risk thromboses with other vaccines, and he should never use PCs, TVs, cars and many other medical treatment for this reason as well, who mindlessly bawls against (German) (physicians and inventors and) scientists (in general) should not benefit from their inventions and think he is doing the right thing. This is where I judge, and you, Mr. King, are wrong and I know what you deserve... - My opinion. But I don't assume that nobody knows better. A shame about the good cast, but this is not worth watching, not at all. It's not even scary, except for the disturbing insight into Mr. King's mind.