Change Your Image
simon-894
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
The Gentlemen (2024)
Utter rubbish.
Drawn out, unfunny, badly made pastich of Grand Budapest Hotel without any of the charm, wit or intelligence.
Too wordy,
too boring,
too annoying,
too long,
too indulgent,
too unfunny,
too irritating,
too unintelligent.
The cinematography is first rate however and for me is the only saving grace of this otherwise pile of tosh. The chicken scenes have got to be one of the lowest points in cinematic history. An absolute cringefest of infantile garbage that has ever made it past the cutting room. I'd be embarrassed to watch it with anybody who thought I had taste. I would never live it down. Ever.
Arena: The $50 Million Art Swindle (2019)
Outstanding and stylish.
An impressive, startling honest and revealing documentary with impressive access to those involved. With many jaw-dropping details and mind-blowing large numbers. Extentisive research and preparation are very evident and it is this that makes this feature so compelling and very watchable if at times squirm-making in it's revelations which come in quick succession - and evermore incredulous without sucumming to over emotional content. Top marks to everyone involved in the making of this programme but particularly the director. I wouldn't hesitate to watch any other documentary made by this team.
Stauffenberg (2004)
Overdub hell.
This made-for-TV film has a decent cast and is well executed (mind the pun) with excellent costumes and backdrops. But the movie feels terribly rushed and missing back stories and character development. But the greatest crime is the awful voice actors used for the overdub. They either sound like cartoon Germans or far eastern and certainly anything but convincing WWII German accents. I suspect the DVD has the option for original German soundtrack and subtitles in the language of your choice. I would like to watch this again one day but only with the original actors voices and English subtitles.
The Railway Children (1970)
Sheer perfection.
This is sheer perfection from the first second to the last. I literally wouldn't change a thing. Not one line nor one scene. Pure magic from start to finish with each and every actor delivering their lines perfectly and beautifully. The occasional use of freeze frame is tasteful and adds drama. Bernard Cribbins is a tour de force. He brings a charm and well-balanced wit to the story. These elements combined with the beautiful backdrop of Yorkshire countryside and featuring iconic views of Haworth Village much of which has not changed since this was filmed in 1970 - in particular; the Bronte parsonage, church and graveyard at the top of Church Street.
Spring and Port Wine (1970)
Perfect understated Mason performance!
The critics seem to completely miss the point regarding James Mason's portrayal of Rafe who although is strict and disciplined, is not a tyrant but is actually shown to have a soft centre. He was cultured and appreciated quality. He clearly enjoys playing the piano while encouraging the family members to sing along. Therefore, I think he played it beautifully and understated and it was not in any way stereotypical. The supporting cast all play their parts well and it's a good portrayal of family life in the 60's in Northern England. All things considered I think Mason deserved an oscar for his performance and it is a great shame he did not.
Country Music (2019)
Narration, Narration, Narration!
Peter Coyote narrates this fascinating story with the most addictive, captivating and listenable style. Beautifully put together - informative and entertaining.
Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016)
One yawn every minute.
Badly delivered lines! Even with the subtitles on I couldn't follow the story. It's like the viewer has to do all the work in trying to find something of interest in this twaddle. What a load of codswallop! At least the film has reminded me not to watch anything else Johnny Depp is in. Whatever paper bag he's in - he can't act his way out.
I Am Wrath (2016)
What about the babysitter???
This must be a great movie because I keep coming back to watching it every time it's on TV!
Overlooking the henious crime that is Travolta's hair-piece, this is actually an engrossing, well-paced, action-filled movie with great performances in the key roles.
*Spoiler*
What doesn't sit right is that the babysitter gets shot, which is shocking yet gets no further attention in the story thereafter. It's basically ignored.
Girl in the Headlines (1963)
Worth it for Jeremy Brett.
A slow and fairly ordinary murder mystery story saved only by the appearance and great acting of Jeremy Brett who later in his career most excellently portrayed, Sherlock Holmes.
Driving John Lennon (2017)
Downbeat with moments of tenderness.
The film portrays the meeting of Lennon with Elvis in 1965 (27th August). Based on the original story: "Our Night with Elvis".
Elvis and Lennon are seen driving down a highway at night with Elvis at the wheel and 'Trouble' (performed by Henrik Aberg) playing over the opening credits. We have to wait until 1:37 before we see the lead characters which in a 12 minute film is too long.
I wanted to like this but unfortunately what spoiled it for me was the laughable attempt at a Liverpool accent by Max Hughes. It really was awful. Plus I don't think I've ever heard John Lennon say 'man' which is used repeatedly in this film short.
The mood of the film is mainly downbeat apart from the ending. Lennon is pretty one-dimensional, showing little of his charm or Goon-style wit. He mainly berates and torments Elvis for the duration and comes across as wholly unpleasant. Alex Pappas does a better job with his role as Elvis showing a degree of humility and boisterousness.
The make-up and costumes were acceptable for the era and the addition of the classic American car adds authenticity and atmosphere. This is diluted by the inconsistent sound quality of the unequalised audio between Elvis and Lennon as we here them speak to each other inside the car.
What does come across is Elvis' awareness of his fading popularity and his feelings of intimidation and resentment of Lennon and the Beatles. This is balanced by the pair reflecting on the death of their respective Mothers and we observe a connection between them at this point.
The film ends after we witness the reaction of a waking stowaway female fan from the back seat of the car who feints from over excitement leading to Elvis and Lennon sharing an all-too-brief and the only light-hearted moment in this film short.
Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987)
Like watching paint dry.
The original series had action, passion and emotion. STTNG is completely devoid of this with the actors just standing around for 90% of the time. It couldn't be more boring if it tried. Moreover, Patrick Stewart's acting is so stiff it is laughable.
How to ruin a legacy.
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1984)
An Unsolved Tragedy
A brilliant quality series with outstanding performance all round. But the greatest mystery has to be why Jeremy Brett was not recognised for his genius portrayal of Holmes. Not only a mystery but a tragedy that would overwhelm even 'The Greatest Detective'.
Alone in Berlin (2016)
Compelling cat and mouse thriller, however...
The one thing that really weakens this otherwise compelling film, is the main character, Otto (Brendan Gleeson) who displays the same expression and mood throughout. An overly measured performance devoid of passion, excitement, rage, love, sorrow - just about anything. There are several instances where you would expect to see traces of emotion in Otto: When he learns of his son's death - no reaction; His neighbour commits suicide - no reaction; And when he gets caught for his crime - no reaction.
Luckily, we see more depth in the film's other characters; Otto's wife, Anna (Emma Thompson) and the multi-dimensional Police Detective, Escherich (Daniel Brüh). Both provide much of the colour and contrast absent from Gleeson's character: The moving scene where Anna discovers Otto's wood carving of their dead son's face; And Escherich's final moments when he contemplates the significance of the evidence collected and the consequence of his actions.
The usually brilliant, Brül gives an entertaining performance as the Detective who becomes increasingly desperate and ruthless. Let down only occasionally by a lack of authority, vocally. However, this lends itself to a later scene in which Escherich is humiliated and beaten by the results driven, SS Officer Prall (Mikael Persbrandt) who has all the necessary menacing and oppressive qualifications.
Overall, this is an intriguing and often tense film and succeeds to reflect the tyranny and cruelty of the Nazi regime during this period in history and the lengths that some (without and army of their own) will go to, to thwart, infuriate and distract it.
Space: 1999: Death's Other Dominion (1975)
Abismal.
Wetter and colder than the fake snow which actually looks suspiciously like gallons of soapy suds. This episode is a real yawn. The opening scene is long and drawn out for no real purpose and it goes downhill from there.
A Confession (2019)
Unwatchable
I tried to watch this but the insane and inane 'camerawork' completely ruined it. You'd think it was being filmed in a war zone. I could hold my smart phone steadier. Today's camera's even have built in stabilisers so watching this diabolical car crash suceeds only distracting from the story. Stop it. Just stop it.
Something's Gotta Give (2003)
Funny. Heartbreaking. Perfect.
Laugh out loud funny. Cry out loud heartbreaking. Quite perfect.
Everest (2015)
Who's who?
Rob, Doug, Scott, Stuart, Andy, Neal, Tim, Klev, Jon, John, Frank, Lou, Guy, Beck, David, Ian and Helen. I honestly couldn't remember who was who in the movie. The characters largely interchangeable. Also, in the close up scenes the snow covered rock looked like treated fibre glass. However, Kiera Knightly played her climatic telephone scenes very convincingly.
I Feel Pretty (2018)
Crying out loud.
What brilliant acting throughout the movie from the whole cast and with an outstanding lead. Plus a great reminder that attitude can really make a difference to how you feel and how people perceive you. This made me laugh and cry out loud. It's been a while since that's happened.
W1A (2014)
The sketch that never ends...
This works as a short sketch only. It is a single gag that is repeated ad nauseam and after only three episodes I could take no more. It is painful to watch and frankly not worthy of fine actors, Hugh Bonneville and Jessica Hynes. For example, the conference suite scenes have the same structure and outcome every time - only the dialogue (such that it is) varies. The Head of Security character is unbelievable and just isn't funny, the Intern is just annoyingly hopeless. Several scenes are just a waste of time and banal in the extreme. It's altogether unbearable and unfunny.
No Sex Please - We're British (1973)
Great views of Windsor!
This is pretty dreadful and unfunny which is unfortunate as the cast has some great names. Ronnie Corbett tries his best in the lead role but the script is poor. Michael Robbins (On The Buses) is rather wasted as a car driver with only two small scenes. I think Ian Ogilvy is miscast as he's just not funny. Arthur Lowe is excellent as you might expect and Susan Penhaligon is very natural and looks like she's enjoying the whole thing. Interesting to see Michael Bates (It Ain't Half Hot Mum) in a relatively straight role while Beryl Reid sleepwalks through her part. For me though the most interesting thing is the shots (there are many) of Windsor town. Windsor was the location for Carry On films Cabby and Loving and Norman Wisdom's On The Beat.
Three Hats for Lisa (1965)
Great snapshot of 60's London
I saw this movie on TV about 25 years ago and it stuck in my mind as a great feel good movie and a wonderful representation of 60's London. I can remember some of the songs even now, although I doubt if any have ever been released. There's some brilliant street 'dance' scenes set to the songs and the whole thing moves along with great pace and energy. The main players; Joe Brown, Una Stubbs, Sid James & Sophie Hardy are all excellent and work together well. I notice that Eric Rodgers wrote the music, he of 'Carry On' Fame which explains the compelling soundtrack. I 've not seen this movie since, which I assume means it's not that popular and that's a shame.