Reviews

The now-defunct Network Distributing released hundreds of films and television series on D. V. D., including some obscure offerings like 'The Corridor People' and 'Alcock And Gander'. But a series that eluded them was this short-lived Yorkshire Television sitcom, about a gang of builders working on a construction site who never seem to do much by way of work. Not unless you call playing cards and 'spending a penny' work. Their leader, 'Gussie Sissons', is played by Kenneth Connor. The boys' arch-enemy, site foreman 'Charlie Cattermole', is portrayed by John Junkin. Looking at this now, its hard not to be reminded of 'On The Buses'. Working-class lads at war with an authority figure with a moustache. It is as if Sid Colin, the show's writer, had seen Ronald Wolfe and Ronald Chesney's show ( it begun the year before ) and thought he could do better. He did not. In addition to those actors I've just mentioned, the show also has Gordon Rollings, John Normington ( whose 'Old Ned Spooner' character looks a lot like 'Uncle Mort' from 'I Didn't Know You Cared' ) and, later on, Derek Griffiths and future 'Confessions' star Robin Askwith. Tommy Godfrey was a busy man in the 70's; his other shows include 'Love Thy Neighbour' and 'Mind Your Language' ( both written by Vince Powell ).

Guest-stars include Milo O'Shea, Patrick Troughton ( as a Germanic scientist ) and Hermione Baddeley. So there was a good cast but the weak scripts sadly let them down. Connor was seen to much better comic effect in the 'Carry On' pictures, 'Hi-De-Hi!', and 'Allo, Allo!'.

Rubbish builders also featured in the much funnier 'Cowboys' made by Thames Television over a decade later.

The long-awaited sequel to the hit comedy movie 'National Lampoon's Animal House' finally appeared in 1982, and bombed. Originally entitled 'National Lampoon Goes To The Movies', it spoofed 'Kramer Vs. Kramer', glossy soap operas, and Joseph Wambaugh-type police dramas. With a director such as John Landis ( who made 'Animal House' ), it might have worked. Instead it got Henry Jaglom, whose forte was not comedy, and it sadly shows. He directed two segments, one of which was deleted from the finished film. Bob Giraldi handled the other two.

Some of the film is funny. Peter Riegert's character 'Jason Cooper' is so smug as to be unbelievable. He tries to bring up his children on his own, and has not a clue how to do so. He even starts a fire in his own kitchen. Then he has the bright idea of taking in unwanted plants. His house is suddenly full of the things, and he cannot find his children. In the next segment, Ann Dusenberry is good as a stripper named 'Dominique' who sleeps ( and kills ) her way to the top. The last segment features a great performance by Richard Widmark as a tired cop who ignores violent crime even when its happening right under his nose.

Shocking are the scenes featuring female nudity and an implied rape which would probably not be allowed now.

A mixed bag, then. No 'Kentucky Fried Movie' but no 'Carry On Columbus' either.

'Tony Mammoth' ( Mike Bubbins ) is a gym teacher who has been frozen since 1979 and has been thawed out in the 21st century. Unsurprisingly, he is baffled by everything he sees. It is hard to know where to start with this one. For one thing, Mammoth himself is very much a 21st century person's idea of what a 1979 man is like. A real person of that age would not be perplexed at the idea of British television having more than three channels; he'd be annoyed that the new ones all tend to be full of mindless garbage. Also, sexism, racism and homophobic attitudes are not exclusive to the 1970's; a quick trawl through the cesspit of hate that is social media will reveal that those unacceptable attitudes are still with us. The rebranding of Marathon chocolate as 'Snickers' would not be be much of a wrench to anyone who remembers the change-over to decimal currency. Mobile phones and home computers? People lived happily for years without those things. What you have never had, you don't miss. Mr. Bubbins cannot blame the writers for this farrago of nonsense; he wrote it and acted ( if that's the word ) in it. A failure twice over. This programme is nothing more than a feeble rehash of those annoying 'let's make fun of the past' shows that have been stinking up the airwaves for years now. It is time to say enough is enough and move on.

'The Flash' was not a hit when it opened in cinemas last year. Who cares? A good movie is a good movie whether it makes a dollar or a billion dollars. And 'The Flash' is a very good movie indeed. It gets across a reasonably complex time paradox plot in an engaging and humorous fashion, not unlike the 'Back To The Future' films ( which are referenced at one point ).

'Barry Allen' ( Ezra Miller ) has a laboratory accident that gives him the power to run at incredible speeds. He becomes 'The Flash'. Discovering he can travel backwards in time, he does just that, saving his mother's life. He inadvertently changes history, resulting in a world unable to defend itself from a future alien invasion. Miller's Allen is nothing the one many of us remember from the 1960's; if anything, he's more like 'Peter Parker' from Marvel's 'Spider-Man'. I thought he was good in the role. But the highpoint has to be the long-awaited return of Michael Keaton as 'Batman', a role he last played in 1992. It is as if he has never been away. We were cheated out of a third Keaton 'Batman' epic, but 'The Flash' goes some way to making up for it. An unexpected moment was the brief return of Christopher Reeve as 'Superman' ( the actor passed away some years ago ), meaning that in one single motion picture you have the best ever Batman and best ever Superman. And none of the stygian murk that blighted the Matt Reeves take on the character.

So a thumbs up from me from this massively underrated movie.

Bob Monkhouse and Alfred Marks play a couple of brothers who, enraged on finding out their Italian cousin 'Toni' ( the stunning Anna Karina ) has inherited their late aunt's fortune, set out either to marry or murder her. Marriage is out of the question; she does not fancy either of them, so they decide on murder. There then follows a string of unsuccessful murder attempts. Directed by Robert Asher, whose other credits include several Noman Wisdom movies and Morecambe and Wise's first picture 'The Intelligence Men', this benefits from the offbeat casting of Monkhouse ( cast against type as a snivelling coward ) and Marks, and is assisted by the presence of Hattie Jacques, Clive Dunn, Graham Stark, and Peter Butterworth. Asher fills the film with some strange visual touches, including a revolving fireplace, billiard balls that fly about like rockets, and an out of control boulder. There's even an animated flying saucer!

50's heart-throb Dennis Lotis plays 'Gilbert', the brothers' butler, and it doesn't take a genius to work out that the story will end with Toni running off with him to Corsica. Predictable yes, corny yes, but its a lot of fun and infinitely more watchable than any of today's movies such as 'Barbie' and 'Floppenheimer'.

This 'Comedy Playhouse' was based on a story called 'The General Dances At Dawn' by George Macdonald Fraser, author of the 'Flashman' books. It was adapted by David Climie, whose other credits include 'Wodehouse Playhouse' and 'Backs To The Land'. It is set in a British army regiment based in a Scottish castle. Among the privates is one 'McAuslan' ( the late Freddie Earlle ) and he is not only the dirtiest soldier in the world but also the most incompetent. Rather improbably, he is chosen to go on guard duty...

Earlle was a very funny man who, despite appearing in numerous shows of the period such as 'Yanks Go Home' and 'Clochmerle', never seemed to get the roles he deserved. The other cast members include Allan Cuthbertson, Moray Watson, Jack Watson, and John Standing. At first this looks as though its going to be centred around the character of McAuslan, but then, strangely, the narrative shifts to 'Lt. MacNeil' ( Standing ). During a military parade, MacNeil realises he has forgotten to put the buckle on his kilt, meaning it could fall down at any second. And with royalty present.

Funniest moment - MacNeil imagining his kilt going into free-fall, A sequence straight out of 'Billy Liar'.

Agreeable on the whole, but no series resulted.

Earlle worked with producer with Michael Mills again in 1979 on the ITV sitcom 'Room Service'.

This edition of 'Comedy Playhouse' starred John Le Mesurier, several years away from his signature role as 'Sgt. Wilson' in 'Dad's Army'. Here he plays 'Caleb Bullrush', a confidence trickster newly released from prison. His speciality is dressing up as a vicar and getting unsuspecting members of the public to donate to non-existent charities. In a pub one evening, he gets friendly with prostitute 'Rita' ( Yootha Joyce ) and takes her back to his hotel. Before they can get better acquainted, however, an unexpected crisis develops - a man ( Blake Butler ) is threatening to commit suicide by falling from a window ledge. Caleb is asked to try to talk the would-be suicide victim out of it...

This is amusing enough, but it is not hard to see why it was not developed into a series. Dick Emery later portrayed a crooked Vicar in his long-running show. 'Comedy Playhouse' took another crack at the subject of con men ten years later with 'Born Every Minute' which starred Ronald Fraser and - another 'Dad's Army' veteran - James Beck. Joyce was, of course, destined for sitcom immortality a decade later in 'Man about The House' and its follow-up 'George & Mildred'.

Funniest moment - Caleb tries to give the man on the window ledge a cup of tea, only to slip and fall in a fireman's net!

Galton and Simpson later wrote an episode of the ITV series 'Dawsons Weekly' with the title 'The Clerical Error; but it is not a remake.

Lastly, a quick mention of the sad passing of Ian Lavender, aka 'Private Pike' from 'Dad's Army'. The cast might be gone forever, but thankfully the show's repeats are still with us. "Don't tell him, Pike!".

Newlyweds Thomas and Susan Simpson are without a home of their own, and are staying with his Aunt Dorothy. There is a vacant flat in the building, but as only Susan has a job ( she's a social worker ) the question is can they afford to take it?

No sitcom of this period would be complete without a nosey neighbour ( usually played by Fanny Carby ), but here its the Irish actress Pauline Delany who gets to play the bird-like 'Mrs. Beasley'. The character lacks a sense of humour, making her ripe for sending up by Dorothy, who delivers some wonderful put-downs at her expense.

Both Thomas and Susan ask their parents if they can live with them, only to be turned down for fear of upsetting the neighbours. The Lamberts and the Simpsons might be of different race, but in terms of attitude they are almost identical.

Funniest moment - Mrs. Beasley asks Aunt Dorothy why there are so many people in her flat. "We are having an orgy!", replies the latter, "Care to join in?". Mrs. Beasley looks horrified.

It is difficult to see why 'Spooner's Patch' was granted a second season. The ratings could not have been all that great, particularly as the first series got interrupted by the ITV strike of 1979. Nevertheless, someone at ATV must have have liked it because back it came with a few noticeable cast changes. Dermot Kelly had sadly passed on, and Norman Rossington crossed over to the BBC to make the infinitely funnier 'Big Jim And The Figaro Club'. The biggest change though came with the role of 'Inspector Clarence Spooner'. Ronald Fraser was fired ( his alcoholism was getting out of control ) and in his place came Donald Churchill, known primarily as a writer ( he'd co-written the script for the 1971 war movie 'Zeppelin', starring Michael York and Elke Sommer ). Also in 1980, he'd starred in David Nobbs' underrated 'The Sun Trap' about British expats living in Spain. While he did not splutter quite so repulsively as his predecessor, he turned in a performance that won him few fans. 'Det. Con Bolsover' ( Peter Cleall ) was still around, but his enthusiasm for 'Starsky & Hutch' seems to have vanished. John Lyons' P. C. Killick' also remained at his desk. A new addition to the cast was Patricia Hayes as traffic warden 'Mrs. Cantaford'. She'd appeared in the first series but as a different character. Cantaford is not at all that far removed from 'Min', her role in 'Till Death Us Do Part' ( both have a husband by the name of Bert ). She delivers several Alf Garnett-style monologues that are out of step with the slapstick tone of the show.

This episode has Spooner panicking because a man he helped put behind bars - 'Webster' - has been released and wants revenge, particularly as the Inspector has also been dating his wife ( Lynn Farleigh, who played 'Marcia' in the 'Steptoe & Son' classic 'And So To Bed' ), With his friends deserting him, Spooner must deal with Webster all on his own. It is, of course, a parody of the famous Western 'High Noon'. Robin Tripp found himself in a similar predicament in the 'Man About The House' episode 'Colour Me Yellow'.

Despite the cast changes, no real improvement occurred.

Funniest moment - Webster arriving at Woodley police station to find Spooner heavily disguised. Then Mrs Cantaford walks in and addresses Spooner by name.

The first episode of Ray Galton's and Johnny Speight's sitcom set in a corrupt police station in the fictional London suburb of Woodley.

Aghast that someone has painted graffiti on the sign outside the police station, Inspector Spooner ( the late Ronald Fraser ) asks Irish vagrant 'Kelly' ( Dermot Kelly ) to paint out the offending words. As he does this, the fascistic P. C. Goatman ( the late Norman Rossington ) shows up for duty and thinks Kelly is responsible for the daub, so he throws him into a cell and disposes of the key. Unfortunately, that is also the place where Spooner keeps his collection of rare wines. Kelly has a field day opening the bottles ( using the corkscrew on his penknife ) and drinking the contents. So how is Spooner going to save his precious wine?

The untransmitted pilot episode starred Scottish actor Ian Bannen as Spooner. I do not know why he did not do the series. It is tempting to think he may have realised the show was not going to be any good and jumped ship. The pilot also featured Sally Geeson ( of 'Bless This House' fame ) as a P. C. and she did not make it into the series either. This episode is not bad, its funny in places. Peter Cleall ( of 'Please Sir!' ) plays 'P. C. Bolsover' who has seen too many episodes of 'Starsky & Hutch' and drives a similar car ( which he then crashes ). As Spooner, Ronald Fraser gives a performance he could hardly have been proud of, constantly spluttering over the cast members ( you wonder why they weren't wearing glasses fitted with windshield wipers ). Rossington is good as 'Goatman;, a cop whose solution to the U. K. crime problem is to give all criminals a good hiding. Dermot Kelly appeared in 'The Arthur Haynes Show', also penned by Speight.

Funniest moment - Goatman putting his arm into the cell in an attempt to strangle Kelly. When he brings it out, he has Kelly's dentures affixed to it.

'Mr. Bates Vs. The Post Office' tells the true story of the biggest miscarriage of justice in British legal history. I followed the story on the news as it happened, and thought I was well acquainted with the facts, but the series still managed to shock. I have been involved in the past with major IT changes, and anomalies that show up have to be investigated and resolved. Pushing the blame for financial shortfalls onto people who have run their Post Offices successfully for years is astonishing. There are people in the organisation who who must have known there was not a sudden rush of fraudulent behaviour and that the IT ( Horizon ) was at fault. But they have not been punished which is another scandal. This series has none of the usual faults inherent in 21st century television drama ( actors mumbling their lines, intrusive background music, liberties taken with facts ) and the acting ( Toby Jones and Monica Dolan ) is first-rate. Let us hope that nothing like this scandal ever happens again. Computers, like people, can make mistakes.

A few years ago, an ITV programme about black entertainers ( narrated by Craig Charles ) lumped in the sitcom 'Mixed Blessings' with the likes of 'Love Thy Neighbour' as an example of 'unacceptable' racist comedy. Which was strange. Back in the day ( 1978 - 1980 ), Sid Green's sitcom earned praise for dealing with the race issue in a more subtle way than had been the case with Vince Powell and Harry Driver's show. There was no name calling, for one thing. 'Thomas Simpson' ( the late Christopher Blake ) marries 'Susan Lambert' ( the late Muriel Odunton ). He is white and she is black. How to explain this to their parents?

Edward and Annie Simpson ( George Waring and Sylvia Kay ) are not happy with the situation, but we are spared any bad-tempered fireworks. Luckily, Thomas' aunt 'Dorothy' ( Joan Sanderson ) is fairly liberal-minded, and soon things settle down. Edward tells Susan "if Tom loves you, then we love you too!". His comment earns him a kiss. Next up is a visit to Susan's parents - 'William and Matilda' ( Carmen Munroe and Stefan Kalipha ) are they are equally aghast at the thought of their children entering into a mixed marriage.

Gregory Munro, who plays 'Winston', Susan's brother, was the real-life son of Carmen Munroe ( although he spelt his surname differently ).

Sid Green's script is funny, the cast are good and the show was sold to The West Indies. I can only assume its inclusion in the ITV programme about black entertainers was down to lazy journalism. No-one was offended by it at the time and I cannot imagine anyone being offended by it now. Not unless they want to be.

Funniest moment - the Simpson and Lambert families are introduced to each other. Realising they are unintentionally segregated, they change positions, and become segregated a second time!

'Coogan's Run' was a 1995 series of one-off comedies starring Steve Coogan as various characters. In 'Dearth Of a Salesman';, he plays 'Gareth Cheeseman', a big-headed executive who attends a conference at a posh hotel. He is there to make a speech promoting his company's newest product - a sound card. He winds up annoying practically everyone he meets, and lives in fear that someone might vandalize or steal his company car. An encounter with a prostitute ( Gaynor Faye ) goes horribly wrong; she gets him drunk, paints clown make-up on his face, steals his wallet and leaves. Amazingly, Cheeseman finds a buyer, one 'Douglas Crown' ( the late John Shrapnel ). But before contracts can be signed, the man's son dies unexpectedly and the deal breaks down.

Cheeseman is a strong comic character ( it is hard not to be reminded of 'Ralph Tanner', played by Richard Briers in 'The Other One' ), but he was unfortunately overshadowed by another Coogan creation - Alan Partridge. Coogan appears briefly as 'Pauline Calf'. Graham Linehan and Arthur Mathews' funny script has none of the surrealism of their 'Father Ted' series.

Funniest moment - Cheeseman celebrates his deal by committing onanism, only to be caught in the act by a chambermaid.

1974's 'The Big Job' was a 'Comedy Playhouse' episode written by and starring the late Peter Jones. He played 'Eddie', the leader of a gang of useless thieves. The others were 'Dolly' ( Prunella Scales ), 'Ginger' ( Nick Brimble ) and 'Norma' ( Andonia Katsaros ). Thy live in a dilapidated house in London.

Eddie is small-time but dreams of being big time. He dreams up new criminal schemes ( with the aid of toy cars ) but they usually come to nothing. In this instalment, he decides to kidnap and hold to ransom the rich Lord Maybrick. He gets the wrong man and instead winds up with his pompous butler, 'Grimes' ( Aubrey Woods ). Grimes urges Doily to ditch Eddie and team up with him, but she decides to stay where she is.

'The Big Job' is not too far removed from the 1965 Sid James movie of the same time. It has its moments, but Jones should have brought in a co-writer. For the resulting series, entitled 'Mr. Big', he did jus that. Christopher Bond got the job, and the resulting show lasted two years.

The roles of 'Ginger' and 'Norma' would be recast for the series, with Ian Lavender and Carol Hawkins replacing Brimble and Katsaros. Their characters are said to be brother and sister and yet they are often seen in bed together. Possibly the term 'sister' was one of endearment. Alfred Marks is seen briefly as a well-organised crook who keeps records of all his crimes.

Funniest moment - Dolly entering the house carrying two heavy-looking bags. Has she been shopping? No. Shoplifting!

Episode three opens with the 'Fawlty Towers' titles, followed by John Cleese ( as himself ) telling someone on the phone that the hit series is finally over. He then suggests a 'tatty revue' take its place. This was not Cleese's only cameo this year. He also appeared in Tom Baker's 'Doctor Who' as a snobby art critic. Among the sketches is 'National Launderette Week' ( as Chris Langham explains what it entails his eyes swivel round and round as though they are studying a washing machine in its spin cycle ), a gory item about a hospital organs department ( run by Mel Smith ), Langham as the world's first pregnant man, a send-up of the problematic arts show 'Maelstrom', and 'The Restricted Practices Suite', in which a group of people play a piano one key at a time. Griff Rhys Jones appears as a man trying to enter a posh restaurant wearing nothing but a tie.

Funniest moment - the Jimmy Carter campaign ad, Back in the day, the former peanut farmer was regarded as a joke ( little did we know how much worse his successors would be ).

The second edition of 'Not The Nine O'Clock News' pokes fun at the ITV strike ( inion boss Alan Sapper is seen clinging to Big Ben. A sequence lifted from the 1978 movie 'The Thirty-Nine Steps'. ) The spoof news items, delivered by Pamela Stephenson and Mel Smith, make their debut here. Oscar James and Olu Jacobs play representatives of the newly independent Caribbean island of St. Vincent. In the course of the interview, it transpires they've never actually visited the place. Rowan Atkinson's vicar does a monologue 'are you a gay Christian' ( which almost certainly could not be done now ). Andrew Sachs' 'Manuel' appears at the end, having just realised the point of a joke made at the start of the programme. Pam's newsreader does an item about a shortage of gravity, which ends with her hair floating upwards. Atkinson plays an angry man in the studio audience, who denounces BBC programmes as rubbish. A security guard was so convinced by Rowan's performance he tried to throw him out!

A big improvement on the first episode.

Funniest moment - the spoof horror trailer. A married couple react in terror as something is put through their letter box. It turns out to be the latest phone bill!

When I first heard about 'Not The Nine O'Clock News', I thought: "Umm. Not very original, is it?". Three years before, there'd been a series called 'Beneath The News' which also poked fun at world events. Despite a cast which included Doug Fisher and Hilary Pritchard, it went down like a lead balloon. Here the BBC seemed to be going down the same road. The only familiar name in the cast was Rowan Atkinson, who'd starred ( and wrote ) ITV's 'Canned Laughter' the year before.

The first edition opens with a parody of 'Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy''s opening titles, and news footage of Jim Callaghan and Margaret Thatcher. Nic Rowley wrote the catchy theme tune. This was made just after the Tories' general election victory. Kenny Everett appears briefly. On using a naughty word, however, he is told to clear off ( Kenny would return to the BBC full-time in 1982 ). A sketch pokes fun at animal rights activists ( and ends with a shot of a nude Pamela Stephenson laying on a platter, an apple in her mouth ). There are no spoof news items ( they came in with the next edition ). Some sketches fall flat, such as Chris Langham's monologue and the 'Zardoz' sequence featuring the cast inside a giant stone head and exchanging one-liners. Much better is the advertisement for Harold Wilson's book 'Final Term' ( the ex-PM is voiced by Chris Emmett ). Also Atkinson's doctor who, discovering that a hospital bed is free, auctions it off to patients. A mixed bag, in other words. Despite that, it went on to become the most popular comedy sketch show since Monty Python.

Of the cast, Atkinson is the stand-out, whereas Langham looks out of place ( he would be replaced the following year by Griff Rhys-Jones ).

Funniest moment - Atkinson's smarmy delegate at the Tory Party conference, gloating about Thatcher's victory and establishing his anti-racist views ( so he thinks ) by claiming to like curry.

I must confess that I had never heard of this film. It looks like it was intended as a supporting feature, rather like the Edgar Wallace thrillers churned out by Merton Park on a regular basis. The late Alfie Bass plays 'Bindle', an antiques dealer. He dreams about his late wife 'Liz' ( Carmel McSharry ) and the sequence of events that led to the end of his previous career as a furniture removal man. I did not bust a gut laughing, but I did find it a pleasant, easy-going watch. Almost 'Steptoe & Son' like, in fact ( I kept expecting Albert and Harold to appear ). I was also reminded of 'Clarence', Ronnie Barker's underrated final show.

In an era when movies consist of CGI superhero twaddle, unwanted remakes and sequels to films nobody liked in the first place, we should glad when obscure movies like this turn up out of the blue. I'd sooner watch Alfie Bass than waste my time watching characters in ridiculous costumes knocking seven bells out of each other!

A unidentified man is stalking the female employees of the company. Ralph, Morley, Harvey, and Osbourne take part in a police line-up. The prowler's most recent victim picks out Ralph. No-one wants to believe that Ralph is innocent, particularly when he accidentally bumps into Norma as she is working a late shift. Can the real prowler be unmasked before Ralph gets his collar felt?

It was unwise for Eric Chappell to remake a 1975 episode of 'Rising Damp'. Unlike 'The Squirrels, which was never repeated, 'Rising Damp' was frequently repeated throughout the 70's and 80's, meaning this episode suffered by way of comparison to the original. George Sewell played the detective the first time around; here its Peter Martin.

Funniest moment - Harvey putting on a trenchcoat, lighting a cigarette and pretending to be Humphrey Bogart in 'The Big Sleep'.

This episode was not a remake of a 'Squirrels' instalment.

Terror sweeps through the office when the fearsome 'Alec Prescott' ( Paul Chapman ) decides to pay a visit. He is known in certain circles as 'the velvet glove' which implies he has an iron hand. Talk of redundancies is in the air. Ralph. As paranoid as ever, thinks he could be next in line for the chop and makes an attempt to charm Alec over an expensive dinner. Alas, Ralph gets drunk and starts bad-mouthing his colleagues...

Paul Chapman played 'Peg-Leg Pogson' in David Nobbs' 'Fairly Secret Army' ( which starred Geoffrey Palmer ) and tragic dentist 'Lawrence Rodenhurst' in another Nobbs' series 'A Bit Of A Do'. He specialized in playing slimy but charming characters. No 'Norma' in this episode.

Funniest moment - Morley discovering Ralph crouching on a toilet basin ( he'd been eavesdropping on a conversation between Osbourne and Alec ).

Learning that his opposite number in Birmingham is earning more money than he is, and that he has been passed over for promotion again, a furious Ralph quits. He applies for a better-paid job. The snag is that he must first face an interview with the fearsome 'N. J. Simpson' ( John Grillo ).

It is a pity that the original 'Squirrels' episode no longer exists because it was one of the best ones. Some of Patsy Rowlands' lines have been transferred to Cindy Marshall-Day. Ralph discovers that his 'new' job is in fact the one he has already!

Funniest moment - Morley entering the office to find Ralph, Harvey and Osbourne juggling oranges! He thinks he wondered into a circus!

Finally, a few thoughts on 'The Greatest TV Of The 70's which Five broadcast on Saturday. It was good for the most part ( despite the tiresome recycling of strike footage. No mention of The Sexual Discrimination Act or the Apollo-Soyuz Test Project ) but there were some curious omissions - no 'Rising Damp', 'The Goodies', 'Colditz', 'Secret Army' 'The Fall & Rise Of Reginald Perrin', and 'Dave Allen At Large'. The American series 'M. A. S. H.', 'All In The Family' and the landmark drama 'Roots' also got ignored. The most jaw-dropping moment of the night was when John Lloyd warmly praised 'The Two Ronnies'. He seemed to have forgotten that his 'Not The Nine O'Clock News' did a vile and unfunny parody called 'The Two Ninnies' ( Barker was reputedly upset by it ). Mr. Lloyd must have had a change of heart in the intervening years.

Morley's new secretary - 'Norma Dove' ( Cindy Marshall-Day ) is turning heads at the office, in particular those of Harvey and Osbourne ( and who can blame them? ). A noticeable difference between this series and 'The Squirrels' ( its predecessor ) is that Alan David's 'Harry' was married ( to Jean, played by Maureen O'Brien ) whereas Harvey of 'Fiddlers Three' is single. The only man Norma seems to be interested in is Ralph, who happens to be married already. So how will this situation pan out?

This is a remake of 'The Favourite' from the first season of 'The Squirrels', with David John Pope replacing Alun Armstrong in the role of 'Jim', Norma's boyfriend. He goes to the office to thump the man he suspects of trying to make time with his girl, and picks on Morley by mistake.

Funniest moment - Osbourne asking Norma for a date. "I feel like making someone happy tonight!", he says, to which she replies "Then don't turn up!". Harvey laughs, only to be put in his place by Norma a few seconds later.

The opening episode of Eric Chappell's 1991 sitcom 'Fiddlers Three' is a remake of the lost pilot episode of his 1970's series 'The Squirrels'.

When a discrepancy is discovered in the company's accounts, boss J. J. Morley ( Charles Kay ) contemplates making one of his staff redundant. But who should it be? Logically, it should be either the conceited, girl-chasing 'Harvey' ( the late Peter Blake ) or bone-idle 'Burke' ( Tyler Butterworth, son of 'Carry On' star Peter ). 'Ralph' ( Peter Davison ) fears he will be the one to get the sack, and, with a family to support, he fervently hopes not...

With only two episodes surviving from the first season of 'The Squirrels' ( 'Men Without Women' and 'The Man Most Likely To', a remake was more than justified. Davison had previously in starred in two sitcoms - 'Holding The Fort' and 'Sink Or Swim'. Paula Wilcox had been in 'Man About The Hose' and 'Miss Jones And Son'. Peter Blake had most recently been seen as 'Kirk' in 'Dear John'. In the last episode of 'The Squirrels', he played a postman.

The company in this series is not named. The office in which most of the show takes place is more modern, with computers and plotted plants on view. The secretary here is 'Norma Dove', played by the lovely Cindy Marshall-Day. In 'The Squirrels', 'Carol' ( the late Karin MacCarthy ) tended to float about the office with a serene smile on her face, but Norma scowls a lot and looks as if she cannot wait to cripple the first man who asks her for a date.

Funniest moment - Morley entering the office unexpectedly and catching Ralph with a glove puppet on his hand.

The final episode of 'The Squirrels'.

Rex and Susan are looking forward to a fortnight's holiday in Majorca. She plans on wearing a revealing outfit on the beach. He disapproves. At the office, tempers flare when the tea lady is sacked and replaced by a drinks dispenser which does not work properly and keeps issuing oxtail soup instead of coffee. Talk of strikes is in the air ( again )

Brian Finch was given the honour of penning the final episode. John Cater, who plays 'Vernon', was at this time to be found in BBC-1's hit costume drama 'The Duchess Of Duke Street' ( he played 'Starr' the doorman ). Leslie Schofield, who plays union official 'Lolly' Briggs', was a year away from replacing Tim Preece as 'Tom' in 'The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin'.

Interesting to see the late Peter Blake as a postman. In 1991, he played Alan David's role in 'Fiddlers Three', the remake of the Squirrels.

Funniest moment - Burke registering his objection to the sacking of the tea lady by singing 'The Red Flag' and tipping his cup of oxtail soup out of the window. A moment or two later, Fletcher enters, wearing a soup-splattered suit.

In 1989, Margaret Thatcher had been PM for ten years ( yes, really! ). Several programmes marked the anniversary, nearly all of them took a fawning view of her leadership. All except for this one. Those rascals at 'Spitting Image' did a spoof stage musical based on her political career. It is easy to forget just how massively unpopular she was in the early 80's. Then the Falklands War happened and everything changed. Her popularity soared and remained high until the advent of the hated Poll Tax. 'Spitting Image' features Thatcher ( voiced by Steve Nallon ) in a 'West Side Story' type musical number, as 'Lady Bracknell' in a parody of 'The Importance Of Being Ernest' by Oscar Wilde, 'Miss Marbles' in an Agatha Christie sketch, and singing 'Send In The Troops' with General Galtieri. As was the case with 'Bumbledown', this makes some strong criticism of the main subject and the bizarre cult surrounding her.

The real Thatcher would be given the sack by her own party the following year.

Funniest moment - the farce sketch featuring Cecil Parkinson as Brian Rix, hiding in a wardrobe with Harvey Proctor MP when Sara Keays ( Parkinson's mistress ) comes calling!