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Noah_Biondi
Audiences have better opinions than critics.
Hello! I'm Noah Biondi, a movie buff studying the art of film. How do I do this you ask? Well, I just watch movies and analyze them. It's as simple as that.
What do I do on my account on IMDb? Basically I do movie reviews, and every once in a while I'll make a list.
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An error has ocurred. Please try againHere's what's gonna happen this year... or at least I think...
Oh yeah, I'm not counting short films or short documentaries, so don't comment to me saying that.
The only movies I've seen that are nominated for Oscars are Black Panther, A Star is Born, Bohemian Rhapsody, Green Book, First Man, A Quiet Place, Mary Poppins Returns, Incredibles 2, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Ralph Breaks the Internet, Avengers: Infinity War, Ready Player One, Christopher Robin, Solo: A Star Wars Story
Reviews
The Amoeba Sisters (2013)
Not very good
This series is inferior to Cracking the Code of Life due to the lack of mentions regarding the US state of Kansas and the state of not being inside of it. They also don't mention "protein business" either, which is unfortunate because when I am learning about protein business, I would like for the topic to be mentioned. I will now speak to the Amoeba Sisters' manager, whose name is Ben Shapiro.
Nova: Cracking the Code of Life (2001)
You're not in Kansas anymore!
Cracking the Code of Life is the greatest film I've ever seen. The cinematography is absolutely phenomenal and uses tight close ups to emphasize tension between the family and the dying baby, and I also found this to be a very informative documentary. I especially like the part where they said "Protein Business". It was very cool.
Avengers: Endgame (2019)
The journey ends with the best of the best
OH MY GOD ARE THERE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW. IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE YET, DO NOT READ THIS REVIEW.
Also, I'm baaaaack! Sorry I was absent for quite a while. Also, this review is extremely late; I was planning on making an Endgame review for quite a while, but now I'm doing it! YAY!!!!
So this is it. This is the big one. The ultimate conclusion. Avengers: Endgame. TONS AND TONS of hype was built up for this movie, and it's probably the biggest movie of all time even. But with all that said, is it any good? You better believe it. This might actually be the greatest superhero movie of all time, even better than Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Logan, and The Dark Knight. If you can top The Dark Knight, then you're an extremely powerful sorcerer.
What's the story? After the devastating events of Avengers: Infinity War (2018), the universe is in ruins. With the help of remaining allies, the Avengers assemble once more in order to reverse Thanos's actions and restore balance to the universe.
Alright. What am I supposed to say about this movie that hasn't been said by literally everyone yet? Well, let's talk about the fight scene first: I think it is the greatest moment in cinema history. Now, I know what you're all thinking: "REALLY? THAT'S THE GREATEST MOMENT IN CINEMA HISTORY? WHAT KIND OF LOW STANDARDS DO YOU HAVE?" Well, I am an ENORMOUS fan of the MCU, and I'm not a master critic, so please bear with me! I feel like that scene is just sooooooo amazing because we see all of the Avengers together and trying to destroy Thanos and his army, and it's just so beautiful. Once Cap whispers "assemble", everything is just so amazing- actually, saying it's amazing is an understatement. Almost EVERY character from the Marvel Cinematic Universe is in it, and they're just doing what they do best: being awesome and murdering everything. Even the Thanos snap victims walk through a bunch of portals and arrive, and when I saw it opening morning (yeah, I managed to get tickets for OPENING DAY), the audience went WILD. What accompanies this mind-blowing fight is the insanely heroic and powerful score by Alan Silvestri (my favorite film composer of all time) that REALLY emphasizes how big it is, but that's not all! The end of this scene made me CRY. Yeah, a lot of movies don't make me cry, but this one DOES. So after Tony Stark snaps his fingers on the new Infinity Gauntlet and delivers his instant classic line, "I am Iron Man", he dies. The reason why this scene is so emotionally affective is not only the buildup to the scene, but the fact that Tony Stark was the man who started it all. Don't argue Carol Danvers because it took her 21 movies to actually be in the MCU. The funeral didn't help either. But anyways, another really sad scene in the movie is the Soul Stone Sacrifice scene where Black Widow/Natasha Romanoff dies as well. This wasn't as affective as the Tony Stark death scene, but it was still emotionally powerful because the buildup was, once again, properly dramatic. You can tell Clint didn't want her to die, and they kept fighting until Natasha finally decided to sacrifice herself. "It was supposed to be me," Clint says in a future scene of the movie. The only actual flaw in the movie is that it feels kinda slow-paced, but that was probably the intention of the film to make it more serious and dramatic compared to most of the other MCU movies. The real hero of the movie, however, is the rat that saved Ant-Man from the Quantum Realm. The rat deserves all of the attention. I also like how they went back in time to get all of the Infinity Stones and added their more comical spin on the previous MCU movies (that is, until the Soul Stone scene). One more thing I'd like to mention is that Captain America/Steve Rogers goes back in time at the end of the movie to restore the Infinity Stones, but ends up old in the future and gives Falcon his shield, proving that Falcon is gonna be the next Captain America!!!! Meanwhile, Steve decided to go back in time to be with Peggy Carter (he found her in an earlier time-travel scene), and I feel like that's the ultimate part of emotion in the movie. Just... the ending is awesome and so is the rest of the movie!!!!!
In conclusion, Avengers: Endgame is a fantastic movie filled with tons and tons of answers after what happened in Avengers: Infinity War and even more really engaging things that make it really good as a standalone movie. If you like Marvel, you'll LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE this movie!!!!!! The ending is so mind-blowing and the rest of the movie is really good, and that FINAL BATTLE!!!! Even the TITLE CARD emphasizes how awesome the movie is by playing a powerful and heroic version of the Avengers theme. One more thing: you know how I said The Dark Knight was my favorite movie of all time? Well, now it's this. Avengers: Endgame. TOO MUCH YES. I can't wait for Phase 4 of the MCU!!!! Right up there with The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King and Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows: Part 2 as just some of the BEST franchise endings ever.
Funny thing: I went this ENTIRE review without mentioning Stan Lee's final cameo. Personally, it's not one of his BEST cameos, but it's still a funny cameo. God, I miss Stan Lee... he was awesome. Things are never gonna be the same without his cameos...
Holmes & Watson (2018)
Doesn't take a detective to figure out how bad this movie is
Everybody everywhere has been saying that Holmes & Watson is literally one of the most abominable pieces of garbage in cinema. And do you know what? THEY WERE RIGHT! THIS MOVIE IS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE! YOU THINK I'M RAGING NOW? WHEN I LEFT THE FREAKING THEATER, I FELT LIKE BLOWING IT UP! THIS MOVIE IS HORRIBLE!
What's the story? Detective Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson join forces to investigate a mysterious murder at Buckingham Palace. It seems like an open-and-shut case as all signs point to Professor James Moriarty, the criminal mastermind and longtime nemesis of the crime-solving duo. When new twists and clues begin to emerge, the world's greatest sleuth and his trusted assistant must now use their legendary wits and ingenious methods to catch the killer before the queen becomes the next victim.
So what's so terrible about this movie? EVERYTHING!!!!!- well, the worst aspect of this movie has GOT to be the HUMOR. Now, if you're the person who likes silly and mentally insane faces as well as dated pop culture references, then this movie is for you. If you don't appreciate those kind of jokes in your SHERLOCK HOLMES movie, then you're normal. Despite taking place in 1800s London, the things that pass on for comedy in this film is (and I'm not joking either) TAKING SELFIES WITH THE QUEEN. Not only does it make no sense because photography back then was absolute garbage, but it's just not funny. When I saw the trailers for this film, I legitimately thought it was gonna be funny! But it WASN'T! And that made me MAD! Another thing that really sucked about this film was the acting. Despite Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly being a great comedy duo, they were EXTREMELY UNFUNNY in this film. Like I said earlier, there's a ton of annoying and obnoxious pop culture references that aren't even funny in the film, and the duo are responsible for bringing in 85% of this messy dump. And you'd think that although there's all these unfunny jokes that there'd at least be 1 or 2 that legitimately worked, but you're wrong! NOTHING IN THIS FILM WAS FUNNY! In fact, the funniest part of the film was the MPAA screen after the film! So the funniest part of the film wasn't even IN it! MY GOD!
In conclusion, don't watch this movie. It's horrible in every way. Just don't watch this. There's much better movies that you can get tickets to, like Bumblebee and Aquaman. And apparently, this movie is so bad, even NETFLIX doesn't want it! THAT should be on the POSTER of this film! Don't waste your time and watch a good movie instead.
Aquaman (2018)
Superhero swims in fresh water
Yup. This is a spoiler review. Sorry, guys.
For those of you who have read some of my previous reviews, you'd know that I really hate the DCEU. Sure, Wonder Woman was fine and all, but all of the other films ranged from pretty bad (Man of Steel) to absolutely unbearable (Batman v Superman). Enter Aquaman- a film that actually managed to be the very first good DCEU film, and the reason why is because it's trying to be its own thing.
What's the story? Once home to the most advanced civilization on Earth, the city of Atlantis is now an underwater kingdom ruled by the power-hungry King Orm. With a vast army at his disposal, Orm plans to conquer the remaining oceanic people -- and then the surface world. Standing in his way is Aquaman, Orm's half-human, half-Atlantean brother and true heir to the throne. With help from royal counselor Vulko, Aquaman must retrieve the legendary Trident of Atlan and embrace his destiny as protector of the deep.
The best thing that this film has to offer is the visuals. The underwater cinematography, the designs of Atlantis, the creative and energetic action sequences, and, of course, the water effects are extremely innovative and breathtaking to look at. It's a huge step up from the visual effects in Justice League, and it manages to blow Zack Snyder's visuals for DC movies to the water (no pun intended). Another thing that works very well is the heart of the film. Believe it or not, there is actually a lot of very good and well thought-out emotion, way more than you'd expect from an Aquaman movie. There were scenes where I was almost gonna cry. It's hard to make me cry when I'm watching a movie, so that's an impressive move that this movie pulled off. For example, when Arthur's (Aquaman's) dad says that he still waits for her to come back on the dock by his beach house and when it actually happens, the tears start to fall on the floor. If I were to criticize something, it's that we don't get a very good introduction on Mera. It's like, Arthur's dad is about to die in one scene, and all of a sudden- surprise! Mera shows up. She ends up healing Arthur's dad, so it's not like he dies or anything. Also, the story not only takes elements from MCU films like Thor and Black Panther, but later on in the film it just becomes this generic fetch quest where Arthur has to retrieve a trident to become king of Atlantis, and of course, once he retrieves it, it becomes like every other film where everything goes into slow motion, there's Gregorian chanting, and as a bonus, Arthur and Mera end up loving each other. The ending of the film is a bit generic, but it's still a nice ending and the rest of the film plays on well.
In conclusion, Aquaman is not just a really good movie with spectacular visual effects and many heartwarming moments, but it also got me into DC. I know there's two kinds of people who either love Marvel and hate DC or hate Marvel and love DC, but I'm gonna be an exception for this because now I love both. I hope DC continues to make some really great films in the future, because Aquaman proves that even DC can wield a golden trident.
Incredibles 2 (2018)
Almost incredible
To be honest, I'm not a huge fan of what Incredibles 2 had to offer. I mean, it's definitely a well put together film, but it's lacking what made the first Incredibles movie so, well, incredible. Can I find out what it's missing? Well, let's find out, I guess!
What's the story? Everyone's favorite family of superheroes is back, but this time Helen is in the spotlight, leaving Bob at home with Violet and Dash to navigate the day-to-day heroics of "normal" life. It's a tough transition for everyone, made tougher by the fact that the family is still unaware of baby Jack-Jack's emerging superpowers. When a new villain hatches a brilliant and dangerous plot, the family and Frozone must find a way to work together again-which is easier said than done, even when they're all Incredible.
So what is it that I think is inferior to the first film? Well, I'm just gonna get the elephant in the room out of the way first by talking about the villain. Yeah, even if you DID like this one better than the first film, I think we can all agree that the villain is total garbage compared to the first one. The Screenslaver, while having interesting powers and a lot of potential, is also extremely disappointing when you truly find out who's really the Screenslaver. I'm not gonna spoil anything in case you haven't seen it yet, but it's just extremely obvious and stupid. The reason why Syndrome was a much better villain is because that not only was he a great representation of today's pop culture, but it was legitimately interesting and compelling when you found out that it was actually Buddy (oh yeah, spoiler from the first film even though you've all probably seen it before) because the film expected you to remember him from the beginning, proving that a minor character could also be an important one. With the Screenslaver's "big reveal", on the other hand, it's not very exciting and the writers weren't even trying to put any sort of effort on the character. Also, the entire story itself on this film is that it's a ripoff of the first film, except with a gender swap. So what that means is that now Elastigirl is doing the hero stuff while Mr. Incredible gets to watch the kids. I'll admit that Jack-Jack's side of the story is hilarious (especially the fight scene with the raccoon), but none of the other side stories really appealed to me. Sure, they could be funny, like Mr. Incredible suffering with Dash's math homework, and plus, Frozone gets a lot of screen time as well, but other than that, there's not much that really stood out, and Violet's side of the story was a bit unnecessary. Okay, enough bashing things, it's time to talk about the good stuff. The animation looks a LOT better than its predecessor. I understand that technology evolves as time moves on, but they updated the animation so it looks a lot better. There's a lot more colors, detail, and the action scenes are a lot cooler. Plus, the textures are just AMAZING and they rendered MUCH better than the first film. For example, compare Frozone's ice from the first Incredibles to this one. Doesn't it look a lot better and more solid in the first film? Not to say the first film's animation was BAD or anything, it still looks impressive, but THIS is even better. Also, the family gets a lot of screen time in this film, so it actually feels like the Incredibles and not just focusing on one character throughout the entire film. One last thing I'd like to mention is that while the score in the first film was outstanding, it feels a lot more complete in this film because it uses a variety of different instruments and has a much more dramatic tone to it, and it also slows down the music to make it feel more complete. I think the scores are equally as good, however, but the first film's soundtrack is a lot more memorable.
In conclusion, Incredibles 2 may not be as amazing as its predecessor, but it's still an enjoyable and fun film with cool action, great animation, a very good soundtrack and tons of focus on all of the characters. Even if the villain is abysmal and the script just feels like it was copy and pasted off of the first film but with a gender swap, it's still very fun and colorful. Now onto the big question: was it worth the wait? Well, sort of. It could have been better, but I was satisfied with what I got out of this film. Brad Bird, you've done it again! Keep delighting audiences with your awesome films.
Black Panther (2018)
Wakanda forever!
Black Panther, the highest grossing Marvel movie at the domestic box office, has received so much love and praise from critics and audiences all around the world. Is it worth all the praise? Yes, yes it is! This is an absolutely fun popcorn film with tons and tons of depth.
What's the story? After the death of his father, T'Challa returns home to the African nation of Wakanda to take his rightful place as king. When a powerful enemy suddenly reappears, T'Challa's mettle as king -- and as Black Panther -- gets tested when he's drawn into a conflict that puts the fate of Wakanda and the entire world at risk. Faced with treachery and danger, the young king must rally his allies and release the full power of Black Panther to defeat his foes and secure the safety of his people.
Okay, let's acknowledge the elephant in the room first, since I just wanna get it over with: the CGI isn't the best. Although Wakanda looks absolutely beautiful, the opening scene had very well-crafted CGI, and the action is really exciting, there are times where the CGI could look absolutely STUPID, like during the scene where T'Challa and Killmonger were fighting. The people standing up on the mountain was done in such a horrible way it's laughable at how fake it is. Also, near the end where T'Challa and Killmonger were once again fighting but this time with some electric trains, that also looked very laughable and stupid. Okay, with that aside, the best aspect of the film is the story. Not the action, DEFINITELY not the effects, but the story. It's a movie that is aware of other countries, which is a great twist, not just for Marvel, but for movies in general. I know Marvel likes to put their primary focus on the story, which is a smooth move, but in this film it especially works because we need to see the nation of Wakanda and to sympathize what it's going through. It's also kind of like James Bond where they go to different countries, like Nigeria and South Korea. Also, although Wakanda isn't a real country, the movie develops and forms it to make it feel like it's real. They explain the nationality, the quality of life, the looks, and the culture of this fictional nation. It's very cool on how well-setup it is, and I wish more movies could do that. One last thing I'd like to mention is that the acting and characters are very well done, and while it does focus on a male superhero, it gives equal power to the female characters as well, and without them, the Black Panther is pretty much screwed.
In conclusion, Black Panther is a diverse and refreshing entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe that's good for both Marvel fans and movie fans in general. Of course if you like Black Panther and Marvel, you'll love this film. Also, ignore the people who say it's a bad movie, because those people don't know what they're messing with.
John Carter (2012)
Should've stayed on Mars
John Carter is one of the biggest box office bombs of all time, and I can totally see why. Just... don't waste your time and watch a better movie. There are tons of better movies to watch than this. It's 2 hours and 12 minutes of your life you'll never get back, and it's not even an interesting 2 hours and 12 minutes. You FEEL all 132 minutes of the film. You also feel regret for watching it.
What's the story? When Civil War veteran John Carter mysteriously awakes on the surface of Mars -- also called Barsoom -- he little expects the adventure that awaits him. Carter reluctantly becomes embroiled in an epic conflict among the red planet's inhabitants, including Tars Tarkas and Princess Dejah Thoris. As Barsoom is poised on the brink of collapse, war-weary Carter rediscovers his humanity when he realizes that everyone's fate is in his hands.
Despite being the seventh most expensive film EVER made (which also kind of explains why it flopped so hard), the special effects are very poor-looking. It's like they came out of a poorly rendered PS2 game. A really bad and boring PS2 game. The textures, the locations, EVERYTHING just looks so dull and unappealing. It's not Last Airbender or Son of the Mask level terrible effects, but it's still not very pleasant to look at. At least in the film version of The Lone Ranger- another expensive flop by Disney- it at least looks nice and brings up excitement. In here, however, everything is just so bland and boring. Same can be said about the acting. It's like, nobody gives it their all. You can tell their intentions are to give out some personality, but they just act as boring as possible, and while it does fit with this film's inconsistency (because it wants to be exciting, but unfortunately results in the opposite), it's not something to be proud of. Also, the characters THEMSELVES, while some are interesting, are just not compelling AT ALL and you don't feel like rooting for anyone. They only exist because this movie's favorite food is unnecessary subplots with a side of bland production designs and acting. Can we at least get SOMETHING interesting about this movie? Well, thankfully, the story isn't too bad, even if it is kind of stupid. It's kind of like Thor where there's this guy who's always so violent and obsessed with thrashing and stuff gets sent to a new world, except the guy comes from Earth and then to Mars, unlike Thor where he was from Asgard but then got sent to Earth. So at least it has that going for it, but everything else is just bleh.
In conclusion, John Carter is a giant waste of your time that should've stayed in Mars. I think this is one of the worst Mars flops created by Disney, along with My Favorite Martian and Mars Needs Moms (yeah, Disney is known for animation, Marvel, Star Wars, and now movie flops that have to do with Mars). It's best to leave this movie alone and pick another movie off of your DVD shelf, unless you REALLY wanna see it. If that's the case, I'm not stopping you. But keep in mind: just because a film is based on a beloved novel and has an interesting storyline doesn't mean it automatically equals perfection.
The Incredibles (2004)
That was totally wicked!
The Incredibles is nothing short of incredible. Even though it's animated, it's one of the greatest superhero movies of all time, and it's one of my favorite movies of all time, AND it's my favorite animated movie of all time! Jeez, this movie is a record-breaker when it comes to being among the best of its kind. And the movie CERTAINLY reflects that.
What's the story? In this lauded Pixar animated film, married superheroes Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl are forced to assume mundane lives as Bob and Helen Parr after all super-powered activities have been banned by the government. While Mr. Incredible loves his wife and kids, he longs to return to a life of adventure, and he gets a chance when summoned to an island to battle an out-of-control robot. Soon, Mr. Incredible is in trouble, and it's up to his family to save him.
No good superhero movie is without its action, and this movie definitely doesn't disappoint. The action scenes in this movie are phenomenal, especially the final battle where the Parr family have to destroy Syndrome's mega Omnidroid. Also, the animation, while looking a bit dated by today's standards, looked amazing for its time, and today it still looks very solid. Also, the performances are great. Craig T. Nelson does a great job at playing Mr. Incredible/Bob Parr, and you can tell Mr. Incredible's feelings with his voice, something all movies should do but unfortunately don't always succeed. This film, however, definitely succeeds in that category. Holly Hunter is also very good at playing Elastigirl/Helen Parr, even if she sounds like she's wearing braces. The characters are likable and very identifiable to a lot of families with major issues, and it is very realistic to those. Also, I like how the film focuses more on the family and not the action. It's a great twist on the superhero genre I think a lot of superhero films should use, especially ones like Ant-Man and Spider-Man, which do focus on the main hero's family, but not like this.
In conclusion, The Incredibles is an incredible movie under the genius mind of Brad Bird, who also made The Iron Giant, Ratatouille, Mission: Impossible- Ghost Protocol, Tomorrowland (which wasn't that great) and the sequel, Incredibles 2. Brad Bird did a great job at directing, and the movie itself holds a strong story, a great script, very nice animation, memorable characters, an awesome score, and some epic action. If you like superheroes, you'll love The Incredibles. It's a film for everyone.
Beauty and the Beast (2017)
Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, Disney remake as awful as usual
Beauty & the Beast is a beast of a movie whose only purpose is to cash into the original. Why even make a remake to Beauty & the Beast anyways? The original is a nearly perfect and timeless classic! Anyways, let's bash this blunder.
What's the story? An arrogant prince is cursed to live as a terrifying beast until he finds true love. Strangely, his chance comes when he captures an unwary clockmaker, whose place is then taken by his bold and beautiful daughter Belle. Helped by the Beast's similarly enchanted servants - including a clock, a teapot and a candelabra - Belle begins to see the sensitive soul behind the fearsome facade. But as time runs out, it soon becomes obvious that Belle's cocky suitor Gaston is the real beast of the piece.
Okay, let's talk about the 2 good things about the movie: first, let's talk about the design of the Beast's castle. While most of the other CGI looks absolutely rancid (which I will get to later on), at least, at the VERY least, they put careful attention to detail on the castle, making it look absolutely gorgeous and unbelievably breathtaking. The other good thing about the movie is Josh Gad as LeFou. He's a very funny and energetic sidekick, and as a bonus touch, he's actually... well, you all know. Let's just say he's a different kind of person. Also, he's one of the only non-British characters in the entire film. Which leads to the elephant of the room about the movie: the casting, except for Josh Gad, is HORRIBLE! I mean, COME ON! Emma Watson as Belle? Not only does she show absolutely ZERO emotion or care in her performance, but her singing is entirely AUTOTUNE. I mean, compare her singing with the original Belle. At least in the 1991 version, there's EFFORT in the performances and the singing. In here, however, it's like all the life and color of the original have been sucked out and replaced with slow and downbeat performances. (That is, except for Josh Gad.) Even the EXPRESSIONS are very pale and dry, and besides, it looks and FEELS like they're just lip-syncing and not actually singing. As for the CGI, it looks very bad for the most part (except for the castle), but nothing is worse than the design of the Beast. WOW. He's horrifying all right, but he's horrifying because his design is so AWFUL. When your ANIMATED Beast is more convincing than your LIVE-ACTION Beast, you know you're screwing up BIG TIME. As for the songs, the updated versions are the same as ever (not to mention this is a shot-for-shot remake of the original) and the new songs only exist to 1, pad the runtime, and 2, to sell soundtracks in stores and on iTunes. I thought Disney cared about their quality for a while, but nope! Turns out the real CEO of Disney is Mr. Krabs, and this film CLEARLY shows that.
In conclusion, Beauty & the Beast is very empty, boring, and is only made to turn in a profit. And apparently, they succeeded in that field, because it was a huge hit! No joke, people, it became the highest grossing domestic non-PG-13 rated film (that is, until Incredibles 2 came out) and it scored over a billion dollars at the box office. So they rolled in the dough with this one, but it didn't reflect in the quality. My suggestion is to stay out of this film and go check out the animated one instead. At least with that film, you'll have a much better viewing experience and you won't regret watching it. Even if you LIKED the original, this movie is the same exact thing, except if it was a downbeat and sorrowful live-action mess. In other words, if you liked the original, you'll definitely hate this one. If you DO wanna see this movie, I'm not stopping you or anything, but you'll love the original much better. What can I say but, there must be more than this provincial movie!
Hotel Transylvania (2012)
A monster of animated fun
Hotel Transylvania, if anything, is a surprisingly fun family film that works on many different levels. Sure, it's not the greatest thing to ever come out of monster cinema, but if you're a monster fan yourself and if you have kids, it's one heck of a fun ride.
What's the story? When monsters want to get away from it all, they go to Count Dracula's Hotel Transylvania, a lavish resort where they can be themselves without humans around to bother them. On one special weekend, Dracula invites creatures like the Invisible Man, the Mummy and others to celebrate the 118th birthday of his daughter, Mavis. However, an unforeseen complication unfolds when an ordinary human unwittingly crashes the party and falls in love with Mavis.
First, let's talk about Adam Sandler's performance as Dracula. I think he does a great job at the character, and if you hate Adam Sandler's work, don't worry! Dracula doesn't even SOUND like Sandler in this film! He also suits the Dracula character very well with a more comedic-style vampire voice going with the more cartoonish personality of the character. Sure, it's not Nosferatu or Interview with the Vampire level-good style of Dracula, but at the same time, I don't really think that's the intention. Selena Gomez does okay as Mavis, but I feel like the performance could be a bit better. The animation, while zany and out of control, still looks nice, especially with the effects, the backgrounds, and the designs of the monsters. Maybe the character animation isn't the best, but at least it does fit the cartoonish nature of the film. The story seems like a combination of Tangled and Monsters, Inc., but at least the concept of Dracula running a hotel for monsters does sound quite interesting to say the least. Maybe it would've worked better if it was an animated series (even if the Hotel Transylvania show sucks), but I'm fine with what it has to offer.
In conclusion, Hotel Transylvania is hilarious, cute, energetic, and a lot of fun. It has nice animation, good performances, and an interesting concept, even if the quality of the writing is very poor. Ignore the bad stuff and feel good about the good stuff. If you're a Dracula fan- scratch that, if you're a monster fan- you're gonna LOVE Hotel Transylvania. It's an enjoyable film I think the whole family should watch.
X-Men (2000)
Mutation is the key to adequacy
Now I know it's quite an unpopular opinion for someone to think that the first installment in the X-Men franchise isn't that great, but I don't feel much for this film. It's short but feels long, it's dated but feels modern, and it's poorly written but strongly structured. What is this film? This movie is so out of the map, but it's just... another film starring Hugh Jackman that's just adequate! What is this strange pattern?
What's the story? They are children of the atom, homo superior, the next link in the chain of evolution. Each was born with a unique genetic mutation, which at puberty manifested itself in extraordinary powers. In a world filled with hate and prejudice, they are feared by those who cannot accept their differences. Led by Xavier the X-Men fight to protect a world that fears them. They are locked in a battle with former colleague and friend, Magneto who believes humans and mutants should never co-exist.
Okay, let's start this review with a good aspect: the special effects. Although the opening credits look really dated and cheap, the rest of the effects are surprisingly really good, especially for its time. This was back in 2000, where CGI was in its early stage and still developing, but for early CGI this is very nice to look at. It also makes the action scenes look very exciting and amps up the fun aspect of the film. The story itself is pretty bland, like an Avengers-before-Avengers story, but as far as those stories go, despite being pretty short, this makes a pretty decent crossover film. Not that it's the best or anything, but it does give us enough background knowledge on all the characters before pursuing into the climax of the film. As for the acting, the only performance that legitimately stood out for me was Hugh Jackman as the Wolverine, and even HE could sound pretty bland sometimes. This isn't really a movie known for its good acting or anything, but more to admire the technical aspect.
In conclusion, X-Men is a nice kickoff to the franchise, but as a standalone film, it's okay. The action and effects are good, but the acting (excluding Hugh Jackman) and the writing can be done a bit better. If you like X-Men, maybe you'll like this, even though I don't make any promises. Overall, it didn't quite mutate perfectly, but at the very least, it's fine.
The Dark Knight (2008)
Why so seriously amazing?
Serving as my favorite movie of all time, The Dark Knight is the superhero movie we all need. It's dark, it's gritty, it's action-packed, it's well written, it does EVERYTHING a great superhero movie should do. In fact, it's so good, it makes DC look good, even though they still suck. But back onto the movie itself.
What's the story? With the help of allies Lt. Jim Gordon and DA Harvey Dent, Batman has been able to keep a tight lid on crime in Gotham City. But when a vile young criminal calling himself the Joker suddenly throws the town into chaos, the caped Crusader begins to tread a fine line between heroism and vigilantism.
First, let's talk about the greatest aspect of the film: the Joker. Oh my GOD, the Joker in this film is absolutely incredible. Not only does he deliver some of the BEST lines in the movie (such as, "You know how I got these scars?"), but he's a legitimate threat to Batman and he's possibly the best interpretation of the character. I also like how he's far more psychological in this film than the Jack Nicholson Joker. That being said, he TOTALLY blows the Jack Nicholson Joker to the water. Another great thing about this movie is that it has some of the BEST action scenes of any Batman movie, including the car chase scene. And yes, I'm only saying that because there's explosions in it and I love explosions. Yeah, there's a lot of explosions in this movie, and there's even a scene where a couple of little kids are going "pew pew!" and then a building explodes. THAT is just hilarious. My only complaint with this movie is Christian Bale. Don't get me wrong, he's a GREAT Bruce Wayne, but he speaks in some really weird voice when he's Batman. I mean, some could argue that he had throat cancer during filming of this movie, but that actually doesn't apply since he spoke in a perfectly normal voice when he was Bruce Wayne. Not a HUGE complaint, not even enough to lower my star rating for this film, but just a tiny little detail that I wanted to go over. Other than that, the movie is fantastic.
In conclusion, The Dark Knight is not just Christopher Nolan and Batman movies at their best, but it's superhero movies at its best: awesome action, great effects, compelling characters, a serious tone, and a fantastic Joker. If you're a Batman fan or even a movie fan in general, you'll fall in love with The Dark Knight. And the best quote in the entire Batman franchise is from this very movie, spoken by Batman himself: "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."
The Greatest Showman (2017)
The Perfectly Adequate Showman
The Greatest Showman, despite being a huge hit, is not anything great. It's just perfectly adequate. I mean, there's definitely some really cool things about it, it's very energetic, but other than that, it's just... adequate!
What's the story? Inspired by the imagination of P. T. Barnum, The Greatest Showman is an original musical that celebrates the birth of show business & tells of a visionary who rose from nothing to create a spectacle that became a worldwide sensation.
Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE Hugh Jackman. He's very good at playing the Wolverine in the X-Men movies, and he's also very good in The Fountain. In this film, however, you can definitely tell he's giving it his all, but his performance isn't quite as good as what he had to offer from the other films he was in. He seems to show not much emotion in certain scenes, often affecting his fired up nature and ambitious personality. The rest of the acting is pretty good, especially when it's time for them to sing. The musical numbers in this film are FANTASTIC! Well, most of them. Tightrope wasn't really that good and they overplayed A Million Dreams by a million. Fortunately, the rest of the songs, especially Rewrite the Stars, This is Me, and The Greatest Show are very good songs filled with energy, and are also a lot of fun to watch. The choreography is very well done, even if it can get a bit silly sometimes, and make the musical numbers both a spectacle for the eyes and the ears. However, not everything is so good about the film. For instance, the movie is extremely historically inaccurate, an example being P.T. Barnum's character is more brighthearted despite not being that kind of person in real life, there's all of these unnecessary matches that didn't happen in real life, and it's played to be more of a fantasy than a historical film. Which isn't that bad, I mean, it's worked in a lot of Disney films, but in a live-action retelling of a famous showman, it doesn't work here, making the writing feel rough, inconsistent, and even terrible at times. Another thing I'd like to point out is that the characters themselves aren't very interesting nor compelling, and I feel like their sole purpose is to create unnecessary subplots that don't go anywhere in the story.
In conclusion, The Greatest Showman has got some good things, as well as having some bad things, and in the end, it's nothing short of adequate. It makes a good family film, but that's about it. If you REALLY wanna see a movie about the story of P.T. Barnum's career taken into a more sugar-coated Disney-esque fashion, then go all in for it. But for those looking for a top-notch musical film that also serves as a historical film, no offense but this DEFINITELY isn't for you. Watch it once, maybe again, and that's all you need with this film. Not exactly the best movie to see, but it's not the absolute WORST film ever. Critics hated it, audiences loved it, I'm... sort of in the middle. What can I say but, P.T. Barnum has never felt this average before.
Venom (2018)
Not the toxic bite the critics think it is
This is a non-spoiler review. Don't worry, you're safe with me.
Venom, if anything, is far from a perfect movie. It's not even a little bit amazing. But what do you expect from a popcorn blockbuster trying to win over Spider-Man fans? Venom is still a fun, action-packed, and even kind of good superhero movie that will not disappoint.
What's the story? Journalist Eddie Brock is trying to take down Carlton Drake, the notorious and brilliant founder of the Life Foundation. While investigating one of Drake's experiments, Eddie's body merges with the alien Venom -- leaving him with superhuman strength and power. Twisted, dark and fueled by rage, Venom tries to control the new and dangerous abilities that Eddie finds so intoxicating.
A field this movie does great at is the action sequences. I feel like these are some very well-put together action scenes that are very exciting and engaging. Whenever you see Eddie Brock transforming into Venom, it not only gives a sense of intimidation, but it also prepares you for a wild action-packed battle. Another thing this film does great is the visual style. Not only is the production design, the cinematography, and the symbiote particles very stunning to look at, but they also make the action scenes look AND feel even more awesome. The storyline, on the other hand, well... it's alright. I'm not gonna go into spoiler territory or anything, but it's not the most engaging story; the action does the job. As for the acting, I think the performances are superb, especially casting Tom Hardy as Eddie Brock. He does a great job with the character, but a nitpick would go onto Venom himself- whenever we hear a voice-over by Venom, it sounds pretty weird and, at times, even laughable. One final thing I'd like to analyze is the music. The composer, Ludwig Göransson, who also did the music for Black Panther and Creed, does a pretty good job over here. Not that Venom is his best score or anything, but it still gets you excited for the action, and it knows when the film transitions into a serious moment or a wild moment.
In conclusion, Venom is enjoyable, cool, and quite underrated superhero film that deserves more praise and respect. You can tell that there's effort put into it, even if at times they try too hard with the film. If you like the Spider-Man comics with Venom in them (I know I'm a fan of the Venom comics), you'll have a fun time at the movies with good ol' Eddie Brock. I feel like this movie was a love letter to haters of Spider-Man 3, which underplayed Venom by a lot, so if you hated Spider-Man 3 because there wasn't enough Venom, there's plenty of Venom in this film, so I recommend seeing it for yourself. Hope you'll like the movie!
Transformers (2007)
Big robots, bigger disappointment
The thing about Michael Bay's Transformers is that it tries to advertise itself as some kind of epic battle with every 80s kid's favorite robots, but instead we get boring things with humans. We paid to see a giant rock 'em sock 'em robot film with huge battles, not some boring human stuff! To make manners worse, it has a staggering runtime of nearly 2 1/2 hours, and although runtime isn't a huge problem with most films, but in this film with 20% robots and 80% humans, it's too long.
What's the story? The fate of humanity is at stake when two races of robots, the good Autobots and the villainous Decepticons, bring their war to Earth. The robots have the ability to change into different mechanical objects as they seek the key to ultimate power. Only a human youth, Sam Witwicky, can save the world from total destruction.
I know, I know, tons of audiences appreciate this film, but I'm sorry, I thought it was REALLY bad. The storyline is very uninteresting, and like I said earlier, it tries to be interesting, but most of the time we get Michael Bay's awful choices in directing, ending up to be a more human-driven movie than a robot-driven one. We wanna know about how Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, and more came to life. And that's the sad part, because they don't do a great job at explaining their backstories and they leave it to the sequels to do all that. Actually, scratch that! The SEQUELS don't do that EITHER! They're just rehashes of THIS film! Now, of course, not everything is bad about the film, there are still some exciting action scenes (when we actually get to them, first of all), cool effects, and great work on the sound department. But other than that, it's just a total mess.
In conclusion, Transformers is nothing but a giant clash of bad quality. It's got great action, great effects, and great intentions, but other than that, the movie doesn't live up to any massive expectations. I guess if you like the toy brand or the original cartoon, you MIGHT like this movie, but other than that, this is a film to skip. Michael Bay, you've done it again. And don't think that's a positive statement, either.
The Lion King (1994)
A Powerful Roar
Quick warning: This review DOES contain some minor spoilers like plot elements, but there's nothing too major and I'm sure most of you reading this have already seen the movie.
Many people consider Disney's The Lion King to be one of their greatest films ever made, often praising the emotions, the character development, the humor, and the musical aspects. These much-praised aspects of the film are indeed worthy to be titled one of the best by Disney.
What's the story? A lion cub crowned prince is tricked by a treacherous uncle into thinking he caused his father's death and flees into exile in despair, only to learn in adulthood his identity and his responsibilities.
There are many great things to say about this movie, but without a doubt the best aspect of the whole movie is the animation. The way it breathes fresh air onto the environments, the designs of the animals, as well as having tons of color and energy, is very well done, and renders beautifully onto the screen. It's certainly one of the best looking Disney movies of all time. Another great thing about this movie is that the emotion is played very well. Unlike some other emotional films like The Good Dinosaur, the emotional scenes are appropriately emotional and they don't overdo anything on a sad scene. The reason why Mufasa's death is considered one of the most heartbreaking scenes in cinema history is because they play the emotion on very well, and they don't go absolutely crazy on making it sad. The musical numbers are not just catchy and timeless, they're examples of what Disney can do by taking a simple plot and turning it into a revolutionary musical. Many of the songs, like The Circle of Life and Hakuna Matata are well known by pretty much everyone. The only criticism I have to give is that sometimes it skips over some important plot elements, making some scenes feel either a bit rushed, or dragged on just to hit the film's 88 minute runtime. Fortunately, those scenes are uncommon, and the rest of the movie is fantastic for the most part.
In conclusion, The Lion King is a powerful and uplifting Disney story that continues to be one of Disney's most iconic and exemplary films ever made. No matter what upcoming releases Disney pushes out, this film will always be remembered for an eternity.
Justice League (2017)
Injustice League
Justice League is the superhero movie equivalent of a football team trying to overcome their mistakes and show off their muscles, even though they are stained by their poor development. In other words, it's a movie with a team that tries so hard to be good, but ends up failing miserably.
The story? Fueled by his restored faith in humanity, and inspired by Superman's selfless act, Bruce Wayne enlists newfound ally Diana Prince to face an even greater threat. Together, Batman and Wonder Woman work quickly to recruit a team to stand against this newly-awakened enemy. Despite the formation of an unprecedented league of heroes in Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and the Flash, it may be too late to save the planet from an assault of catastrophic proportions.
What the film has going against it is that there has only been a couple of prior films to set up this movie, including Man of Steel, Batman vs. Superman, and Wonder Woman. The problem with Batman vs. Superman is that they jumped right into the crossovers without properly setting up Batman, and same applies to this movie. Batman, Aquaman, Cyborg, and The Flash haven't gotten their own origin stories yet, and even if they will have some in the future, this is right now, and we don't know their stories in film. Because of this, it fails to feel like a big and popular event in cinema history, unlike in The Avengers, where the origin stories have already been set up for a big cinematic crossover to happen, proving that Marvel is capable of setting up their cinematic universe before going into the big crossovers. DC, on the other hand, makes their movies solely for the profit, caring little about the quality and more on the gross, and because there were no prior setups from this film, it wasn't the huge hit DC hoped it would be. Of course, the biggest problem with this movie is its runtime of only 2 hours, while the average Avengers movie is in the 2 hours and 20 minutes mark. If this is the ultimate cinematic dawn of the Justice League, then why is it so short? Does DC know audiences have a low attention span for their films?
Justice League, in conclusion, is a mess of a superhero film with a rushed focus on going into the big action and caring little about the storyline or the character development, and when we do get into the action, the visual effects are poor and the excitement is kept to a low. Not all superhero franchises can be like Marvel, and DC definitely proves this statement true.