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bdpeterson-06310
Reviews
Chucky (2021)
Idiotic...
Much like its predecessors, except the original, kinda, Chucky fails to be anything short of a goofy low budget "comedy" that can't be taken seriously. Except, Chucky demands to be taken seriously. The entire premise requires the viewer to watch Chucky with a lens of social awareness and with a certain amount of adherence to reality. Yet NO WHERE in the entire show is an ounce of realistic situations or real human behavior. The "bully" in Chucky, the character Lexi is FAR more psychotic and evil than Chucky could ever be, effectively undermining and undoing everything Chucky is supposed to be as a villain. It's just bizarre how no one seems to care or understand how evil and what a psychopath she is. It's so unbelievable and so unrealistic. Her character and the other characters, especially her parents, lack of realistic human behavior ruins the show. And then the obvious, Chucky. He is supposed to have no real strength or skills other than a serial killer except in a dolls body. Canonically he's far from the most powerful or dangerous movie villain. He instead relies on surprise sneak attacks to kill his victims. This show completely misses that. The character Oliver LITERALLY lays down and is stabbed to death by Chucky when he could have EASILY stood up and punted Chucky across the room. That's stupid, nothing short of stupid. As a viewer I can't tolerate such lazy and ignorant writing. Because of of these egregious and irredeemable errors, I am forced to give Chucky the lowest possible score of 0/10.
Slasher (2016)
Generic...
I grow tired of writing these reviews for horror movies that just can't seem to get it right, the slasher horror movie trope has been done literally so many countless times that in order to succeed in the industry, you absolutely have to do something original, and you have to make the situations and the actions of all the characters Believable and realistic. Gone are the days with the paint by numbers, "sinner get killed, the virgin survives, people falling over while they are running, the killer walking, but somehow keeping up with the heroes running , and stupid decisions by characters in order to get killed". It's over! You can't do that anymore! If you fall into those traps, then you have failed as a movie maker and you deserve the scorn from viewers and critics alike. You absolutely have to do something original, you have to do something that makes sense, your characters have to do things that normal human being would do, you cannot give the killer some kind of super strength and fighting skills that a normal person just does not possess. So many "slasher movies" are taking very normal people and putting them into the role of a killer because of some past wrong that has been committed against them or they are angry for some reason, or whatever, and making them into these ultimate, super fighters that possess unworldly fighting, and killing abilities, that even the most highly trained Military soldiers in the world don't even have. You can't do that! Besides being wildly unrealistic, it's boring and bizarre to watch. Slasher unfortunately falls head over heel into literal every single trope and falls massively. I give it five stars, though still because I actually did like the acting, I really did think that most of the characters did pretty decently in their roles.
White Chicks (2004)
HILARIOUS... but
White Chicks is hysterical, and very rewatchable. However the side plot of the wife of one of the characters thinking he's cheating on her is so incredibly stupid and unbelievable. It literally does nothing for the plot and it's just plain unfunny. It doesn't make any sense even at the simplest level, a simple phone call and/or meeting about his literal job would have cleared it up. I'm just so confused how a movie that has so much smart, funny witty comedy has this random subplot that is so poorly written, and unbelievable thrown in the middle for literally no reason whatsoever. Like I said, it does absolutely nothing from the plot it's just this weird side thing that as of you were you watch and you were like that doesn't even make any sense. Take out this side plot and rest of the movie gets substantially better. Terry Crews is hilarious as always!
Malignant (2021)
Nonsense...
Basically all movies, especially horror movies have a certain level of suspension of disbelief. On a certain level Malignant is par for course. A teratoma evil conjoined twin that couldn't be completely removed and now has been reawakened and is controlling the main characters mind and actions? Honestly a pretty good idea! Not completely "scientifically accurate" but within the realm of possibility and makes a fun storyline! The "who is really doing the murders" was fun and kept me engaged. Where Malignant completely and totally goes off the rails and devolves into mindless drivel is how the newly reawakened evil conjoined twin can inexplicably control electricity and has literally superhero level strength, agility, and fighting ability?? There is absolutely ZERO explanation for this and it honestly ruins the movie. The scene that just put it over the top was the massacre in the police station. All those trained police officers shooting, and not a SINGLE one hits Gabriel? They just kinda stand there shooting the wall while Gabriel cuts them down one by one. That's utterly pathetic. I'm very disappointed in how poorly this movie turned out. Save your time and skip this one.
Nefarious (2023)
ASTONISHINGLY inaccurate....
There is a lot to like in Nefarious, good acting performances by Sean Patrick Flannery, and Jordan Belfi, and I like that it is a well funded Christian film. However, at its core, the movie is built upon the back-and-forth conversation between the doctor and Nefarious, and it is outright painful to see how unrealistic and how inaccurate basically their whole exchange is. There is no psychiatrist who would ever allow themselves to be swayed personally by a patient no matter what they said or how they were acting. As someone who has worked in healthcare for over 10 years, If you are unable to control your personal feelings, then you will find yourself out of a job very quickly, especially with mental health patients. The fact that the makers of this movie did not realize that and did not do the research is frankly pretty embarrassing. They needed a reworking of this whole movie to make it anywhere near believable. When Nefarious brings up his mothers assisted suicide or his girlfriend's abortion and Dr. Martin tries to argue and rationalize those decisions, that was just insanely unrealistic. That would simply never happen ever in any kind of mental health capacity. That is entry-level patient aid training 101, and the fact that an actual psychiatrist would not know that is bizarre. In a real life situation like that, even the most inept psychiatrist would've just stood up, said something like "thank you for your time, sir, I think our session here today is done", and then walked away. And that is again what a more inexperienced psychiatrist would do. Once again, I am very disappointed how a Christian movie turned out. You don't need to do much, just make the scenes and the characters behave in a believable way. It definitely was better than some other Christian movies, however, as a whole Christian movies still have a long way to go before they are watchable.
Knock Knock (2015)
Couldn't even finish it...
Some of the worst writing i've ever seen in a movie, especially with Keanu Reeves. The whole premise of this movie is goofy and should've been over within 15 minutes. In real life, you would've just called the police without even a second thought and the police would've come and taking them away. Easily defensible, and there is no chance you would've been convicted for statutory rape, given all the circumstances. Just a bizarre movie, this felt more like a horny teenager made a fantasy film and then desperately tried to make it believable. Short answer, he could not and this entire film is just one sex scene mixed with complete and utter garbage. That is so unbelievable that it drifted away from goofy and just became annoying. I'm very sorry I wasted the 20 minutes that I watched of this trash.
Step Brothers (2008)
A couple funny scenes, other then that, forgettable
Sure Stepbrothers has a handful of quotable funny scenes that will make fans of goofy Will Ferrell comedies laugh, but frankly besides those couple funny scenes, the rest of the movie is actually really stupid. Subpar acting, a weak and half hearted script, and a nonsensical plot that doesn't really lead anywhere. The entire plot of the movie is that there are two man children with special needs that never really amounted to anything and they ruin the lives of all those around them, and then there is a couple funny scenes. And that's the whole movie. With all the well-known actors in this movie, you would think that they could have done a little bit better. Like did those couple jokes really drain the rest of their creative juices out? Did they just make those couple funny scenes, and then throw in the towel and say the rest of the movie doesn't really matter?. Like I said, there really are a couple scenes that made me laugh and are very quotable, but who even cares if the rest of the movie is horrible?? And they never even explain why the two brothers are so mentally disabled?? Like how did they both have special needs that make it impossible for them to have meaningful long, lasting relationships, or be functional members of society? I guess one good thing about this movie is it is a powerful anti-liberal agenda movie, as both brothers are classic Democrats, that are horrible members of society, and count on the hard work of others to support them.
Follow Me (2020)
Pathetic...
Let's start with the obvious, the entire movie is a direct rip off of literally no less than 10 other movies with almost the exact same premise. A bunch of friends go to an escape room under mysterious circumstances, things go bad, and almost everybody dies. Lame! Next we have the acting, each, and every actor/actress, delivers their lines with about as much gusto and excitement as two 50 year-old men in the waiting room, waiting for their colonoscopies. Yikes! And then we have the ending, literally one of the dumbest most nonsensical bizarre ending I have ever seen. Just wow.... spare yourself and watch any other kind of movie. The whole "escape room horror" genre is dead.
Wolf Creek 2 (2013)
One of the worst... ever
Wolf Creek 2 has the special distinction of being one of the very worst movies ever made in the history of cinema. From start to finish, at no point does anything happen that remotely resembles a semblance of realism or believability at all. Nothing that any of the characters do at any point make any sense, and none of the situation's that happened could ever actually happen in real life. It should be labeled as a fantasy movie lmao. I tried my very hardest to get through the entire movie so I could say that I wrote an honest review, however, it was one of the hardest things that I've ever done in recent memory. Truly an an abysmal and dreary experience watching this horrible movie. I honestly feel like I deserve some kind of compensation for the time wasted and emotional trauma.
Lights Out (2016)
Interesting concepts, can't deliver on any of them
Lights Out had some interesting ideas to work with, but couldn't put them together in any coherent way. Just so many unanswered questions and plot holes come up as the story progresses, it's difficult to stay engaged. As a result, a lot of the scenes that otherwise would have be scary if properly set up, fall flat and become meaningless. Some of the biggest problems are they never really explain who Diane was, why she had a skin condition, how she got "attached" to the mom, or how she somehow managed to come back from the dead? As a Ghost? Who still had a skin condition? She's an invincible ghost, who still can't go in the light? Why? Lol what? Pretty disappointed because this should have been a scary movie, instead it's just kinda confusing.
The Lorax (2012)
Who was this even for?
Apart from being a Wall-E rip off, I never understood who this movie was for? Just as a movie, it is actually quite poorly made. Some of the overarching themes of The Lorax are good and useful. Things like protecting and taking care of the environment, commercialism, and corporate greed are interesting topics, however, the way that they are portrayed in the movie are comically and ridiculously ham-handed. Simplifying its main concepts down to a undigestible nugget and ramming it down its viewers throats. It is basically anti-capitalism propaganda, and that is actually very harmful and should not be in a kids movie. Capitalism as a whole has made America the great country that it has grown to be. So the big bad mean business owner is the villain? Okay so then who is the good guys? People who are against.... business owners? That doesn't even make any sense. Where is law-enforcement? Who is the government? Like I said, they are oversimplifying real world things down to a incomprehensible narrative, that just distorts reality, it does not make a coherent story. Sadly The Lorax is not an enjoyable movie and fails on almost every level and doesn't make any of the points it tries to convey.
My Dirty Little Secret: Diary of an Affair (2014)
Another true miscarriage of justice
Truly, one of the most egregious miscarriages of justice in recent memory for Americas justice system. The fact that John Racz was convicted for Ann's murder is so utterly unbelievable, that I myself have lost significant faith in the status of Americas ability to service fair justice. There was never a shred of evidence or proof outside of, ludicrous speculation and circumstantial guesswork that could have convicted John. Ann very well may be dead, and John very well may have killed her. But it is a disgusting stain on the memory of Ann that John was convicted. As a country, we really need to speak out more about stopping these kinds of cases from ever even going to trial. Unless a prosecution team can showcase any sort of actual evidence, testimony, or a body, trials should never ever go to court. It is grossly unfair on both sides, for juries, forcing them to decide someone's innocence or guilt based on just circumstantial, guesswork and stories puts undue pressure on them. The person that they are deciding their fate very well, may be guilty or innocent, but if there is no proof that leaves a truly disgusting burden on them for the rest of their life, no matter what they end up having to guess. And for defendants, it leaves them at the mercy of complete strangers who are like, I just stated, just forced to guess and hope for the best with no real evidence.
Brimstone (2016)
Poorly constructed, and utterly self absorbed
Brimestone is one of those awkward movies that has some parts that are phenomenal and other parts that are just awful. Making the watching experience for the viewer simply terrible.
The parts that are good-
1. The acting, Guy Pearce and Dakota Fanning both give great performances. And John Snow, I mean Kit Harington does a solid job in his supporting role.
2. The costumes and set. The scenery really immerses the viewer into the atmosphere of the old west.
The parts that were bad-
1. The entire storyline, the writers of Brimestone are under some kind of delusional that their story is some kind of "shocking" story of revenge and "debt to pay". They try to force the story and scenes down the viewers throat and it comes off more goofy then anything. They literally go out of their way over and over with the over the top scenes of violence and emotional devastation to try to shock the viewer into some sense of fear or uneasiness. They don't let ANY of the story play out in any kind of realistic or believable way. As a viewer I got the strong impression that the writers sat around a table together and said "how can we make every scene as sad and upsetting as possible?". And that's all the whole movie is. Scene after scene of sad and upsetting things happening. No coherent story, no character development, literally nothing. They literally kill a baby for goodness sake! In the most ridiculous and goofy ways I've ever seen. "It's head was too big"? LMAO STFU 😂😂😂. Besides being embarrassingly unrealistic, what were they trying to prove? Life in the old west was hard? Okay cool, you got it dude. Thanks for trying to do so in the most ridiculous and unbelievable way possible.
Red Rose (2022)
Disjointed, nonsensical, and poorly written
Red Rose starts randomly, baiting the audience with a bizarre and incoherent scene that hardly makes any sense. Okay fine, grab the audience's attention with something random, I guess. But then.... nothing ever happens. The characters, what they do, and what happens to them is NEVER explained, NEVER makes any sense, and we are NEVER given any reason to care. I mean it was actually kinda of funny. The ENTIRE show is just these random scenes of kids talking, walking around, eating food, and being.... mad at each other? Sometimes? There is absolutely ZERO sense of any kind of coherent storyline. The show is about nothing, and nothing happens. The only things that sticks out of the entire show...
1. A VERY weird, VERY misplaced, VERY random, but somewhat well sung? Choral arrangement of......Barbie Girl? By Aqua plays at some point. For some reason? Why and for what purpose? We never know, and it is never explained. Does it have a purpose? Do we have a connection to that song in anyway? No, no we don't.
2. One of the girls in the "friend group",I say that tentatively because none of the individuals in this show have any sort of real connection or loyalty to each other, they just kinda show up in scenes together, is morbidly obese, and very unattractive, but yet seems to think she is one of the Kardashians. Eww.... Her "friends" seem to let this slide.... for some reason. Okay, they might be giving her a pass because they feel bad for her. How nice.
3. In the first episode, I should have put this at #1, oh well, there is a bizarre.... dance party?, in the middle of the day, on the side of a mountain. Maybe it's a UK thing? Can't relate. But okay.
4. Oh there's a gay guy. Never really explored or talked about. The show just wants us to know he's gay. Okay 👍🏻
5. Much like the LITERALLY like 10 other movies that have the EXACT SAME evil app/phone trope, just turn off your phone and/or buy a new one 😂😂. Just embarrassing.
Amber Alert (2012)
Nothing less than embarrassing...
I want to acknowledge that I completely understand that not every studio can afford to hire Steven Spielberg as a Director or have Matt Damon, Emma Stone, or Ryan Reynolds act in their movie. So I try very hard not to judge movies solely because they have a lower production value or less well known less talented actors or actresses. However, even with the most shoestring budget or the most inexperienced actors, I just have no sympathy for movies, who totally neglect, realistic situations, or do not do the research before hand before they write and make the movie. I think the subject matter amber alert puts forth is actually a very thought-provoking, a found footage type of movie, but not just a horror or slasher film, actually a pretty good idea. However, it is nothing less than embarrassing that they did not do any research about police procedure or even put an ounce of effort into making the situation that happened in Amber alert even remotely realistic. It is a real shame, because there was a lot of good ideas here to work with, but they just could not deliver on any of them.
Coco (2017)
Heartwarming and beautiful, but nonsensical...
Coco has some absolutely beautiful animation, and paired with the Mexican culture and music and cute story, makes Coco a heartwarming movie. The end scene where Miguel sings "Remember Me", ugh, get the tissues! However, it is not without its, actually, major flaws. One being one of main plot points, "no music"? Lmao what? I'm sorry that is idiotic at best. Miguel's whole family hates music SO MUCH that they don't even let him hold a guitar? You're kidding me? His grandma physically assaults him and destroys the guitar he made. Bro no, yeah that's a no from me dog. Like the whole rest of the movie is so beautifully done, and I love it so much, but yet this critical plot point that literally the entire movie hinges on is so stupid, mundane, and unbelievable that it's just hobbles the entire movie going forward. Like I get how they think that they their great great grandfather's, or whatever, music career led to heartache and sadness but the fact that they won't even listen to or play music is just so ridiculously stupid, It is angering. If Pixar really wanted to go with this idea, they should've had Miguel already be a talented musician, who wanted to go solely in to music and not into a "better career". That still would have been pretty generic and uninspired, but it least it would have made a semblance of sense. As opposed to this nonsensical, random, and just lazy storyline of them not even letting Miguel play music, or even hold an instrument at all.
Bloody Hell (2020)
Would have been SO much better if....
...The bank and court scene would have been more realistic. There is not a judge or jury ANYWHERE in America that would have convicted the main character for ANY of his actions during the bank robbery. The bank robber was holding the gun, and pulled the trigger that killed the lady in the bank. End of story. "His actions caused her death". Sorry no, that's not how our justice system works. Never has, never will. A MUCH better and more realistic alternative should have been in all the fire, a stray bullet from the main character accidentally hits that lady. Still sucks, but technically a chargeable offense and more believable. The rest of the movie was great! Maybe a little less of him hanging in the garage doing nothing, but over all Bloody Hell is a fun ride! It just was lame that the makers of this movie didn't do their research about what would have been a pretty open and shut case.
Mindhunter (2017)
Inches from greatest, settles for good...
Mind Hunter is at times, simply a phenomenal show, watching Special Agent Holden analyze and then dissect the different criminals, and get inside their heads is fascinating and entertaining. The cases and serial killers they talk to are so interesting and as a viewer it's hard to stop watching. The acting is also phenomenal, and the show is all around well put together. HOWEVER, Mind Hunter is absolutely HOBBLED but some astonishing and ridiculous flaws, which stand out even more glaringly considering the rest of the show is so amazing. Firstly, how absolutely horrible and disgustingly bad Agent Shepherd is as the FBI supervisor is quite frankly, embarrassing. Apart from being WILDLY unrealistic, it doesn't make any sense in the show. For a show that displays a remarkable level to attention to the history of the killers and FBI procedure, it is nothing less then appalling they would not only make Shepherd an unnecessary and unrealistic villain in the show, but also ruin the flow of the show but having Shepherd opposed to Agent Holden solving crimes. Why? Why is Shepherd so opposed to the team solving crimes and interviewing the criminals? It is both unrealistic and a major flaw in the show. The same thing with Wendy, why on earth is she so opposed to the way Holden interviews the criminals?? They make it seem like what Agent Holden is doing is like this "new, controversial technique". Ummmm no? You'd have to go back to the 1800s for ANYTHING Agent Holden does to be considered "controversial" in the world of suspect interviewing. In fact they have the whole team CONSTANTLY second guessing and opposing Agent Holden interviewing practice. It's poor writing and poor research on the part of the writing team for Mind Hunter at its worst. It's so frustrating and is a devastating blow to this otherwise brilliant show. I cannot understand it for the life of me. Mind Hunter could have been great, but just settle for good.
Cujo (1983)
Surprisingly.... awful?
I'm not sure how this movie is regarded as a "classic"? There is just not a lot to like here. What even is the plot? Cujo is a dog we have zero attachment or relationship to. He's just a random dog. When he gets bitten by a rabid bat, we as the audience simply could not care less until he turns vicious. Yikes! Very poor writing there. The random subplots with one of the main characters having an affair was laughable and shallow, again we are never given any reason to care. Cujo's inexplicable fighting skills and cunning also do not line up with how animals actually behave when they become rabid. It's just not realistic or believable in any way. The last criticism I have, albeit low hanging fruit, the character's decisions are just laughable and stupid throughout the movie. Don't watch this movie; and if you already have I'm sorry you wasted your time. The whole movie can be summed up like so "Once upon a time a random dog got rabies and superpowers, somehow? He kills some bad people who frankly deserved to die. The end". There you go, now you've seen the movie.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Embarrassing?
When this first came out I didn't watch it after seeing all the terrible reviews it got. However while on vacation, after a long day of fun in my hotel room, it was on tv so I put it on. My expectations were tremendously low, but I was somewhat hopeful it would be at least watchable.... boy was I wrong! Frankly I'm embarrassed for anyone even remotely attached to this movie. It was that bad. The action scenes were just goofy and Wonder Woman's powers and strength were oddly inconsistent. One second she could easily push a car sideways at at least 60 miles an hour, then the next second struggle to push two cars apart. Rookie movie making mistake right there. Nothing short of embarrassing. And what even was the deal with literally the entire storyline? Something about wish granting? Lol what?? You'd think with a budget as big as they had and all the A list actors in this movie they could have churned out something coherent and watchable, but you'd be wrong. Honestly one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. Truly and completely, embarrassing.
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
A ridiculous and generic load of tripe
From start to finish, this bizarre and unbelievable movie wows the viewer with jarringly unbelievable scenes. Someone needed to tell the writers and director of this movie that you actually have to try. I won't bore anyone who reads this with specifics, but it's all so campy and unbelievable.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
Watchable, yet critically flawed
I've seen all 3 episodes that are out so far, and while I find them entertaining, there are some major flaws that prevent Obi-Wan-Kenobi from being more then a flavor of the month, passing fancy that will soon be all but forgotten. First being the character "Third Sister" is a completely shallow and poorly written character. Her actions in the show are very unrealistic and make no sense whatsoever. She is impulsive and immature her in actions and so the Grand Inquisitor calls her out on it, so she.... kills him??? Lmao I don't care how evil you are, you don't just kill your leader because he calls you out on poor work performance. On top of that, the actress who plays her is extremely flat in her delivery and quite frankly is a bad actress. Another major flaw is Obi-Wan somehow... forgot how to be a Jedi?? What?! Bro you where only in the dessert for like 10 years, you didn't forget how to be a Jedi lol. NUMEROUS Jedi have been in exile or just alone for decades or more and can still fight and use the force just fine. Obi-Wan looked silly fighting Darth Vader and it honestly sucked and was utterly unbelievable and not in line with Star Wars cannon. I was very disappointed.
Marrowbone (2017)
A great premise, utterly wasted ...
So very disappointed how the makers of this film let it play out. They literally had every single piece to make this into a classic thriller movie, amazing cast, good production, good set, but they absolutely fumbled on the one yard line here. And it's so completely and utterly disappointing. You watch this movie and it is an absolute gut punch watching what should have been a phenomenal movie, devolve into a uneven, shallow mess. I got to the end and scratched my head in complete confusion. And actually said out loud "Gosh they couldn't have messed that up worse if they tried". The cherry on top is how the female lead doesn't give Jack his meds that would essentially cure his illness. Bruh, that's actually criminal medical neglect. That's not a bittersweet end, that's a disgusting act of negligence. I wish I had the willpower to go into more details about how botched this film was, but I guess I just don't care enough and I'm too frustrated. Watch Marrowbone if you want and you'll see how truly phenomenal this movie could have been, and how utterly bad it ended up being.
Cleaner (2007)
Should have been a VERY short movie...
Samuel L Jackson's character should have reported him cleaning up the crime scene IMMEDIATELY. And then the movie would have been over. The fact that he didn't is so ridiculously stupid it has left me extremely mad and upset that I wasted my time watching this garbage. Samuel Jackson is a fine actor but the fact that he wasted his talents in this Ludacris movie is just downright embarrassing.
Unsane (2018)
Uneven and poorly crafted
Unsane truly had unlimited potential to be a fantastic and gripping thriller. Instead it quickly turns into a muddled mess. As a healthcare worker who literally works in a mental health clinic, not one single thing that happens is anywhere realistic. Like actually not one single thing! From the "signing paper to involuntary admit herself" to not allowing her to leave, to turning her mom alway when she tries to take her home. All of it, it's all horrendously inaccurate. Like maddening so! Also a major flaw is Unsane can't decide what kind of movie it even is. Is it a movie about an actually insane person, or is it a movie about a criminal mental health facility that her actual stalker uses to get back with her. It can't be both. Just wow, what a horrible movie!