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1-27 of 27
- Pee Wee, a chubby midget, is in love with Alice, the daughter of Lady Petite. Although Alice is twice as tall as her mother, she stands greatly in awe of her Lilliputian parent. A diminutive duke holds the mortgage on Lady Petite's home. His Grace is Pee Wee's rival for the hand of the stately Alice. Villainous out of all proportion to his stature, the Duke threatens to foreclose unless Lady Petite persuades her daughter to become his bride. Alice, however, defies both suitor and parent. She is locked in her room and sentenced to hard labor by Lady Petite. Alice manages to smuggle out a note to Pee Wee by the giant policeman of Pygmyville. Pee Wee and Uncle Tiny Mite, disguised in Oom Paul whiskers, rush to the rescue with Shetland pony and rig and a ladder. While Uncle Tiny Mite engages the mother in polite conversation in the drawing room, Pee Wee ascends to the fair captive's room. Alice however, fails to recognize her sweetheart in his beard, and her shrieks for help call Lady Petite and her guest to the scene of abduction. But Alice, soon discovering her blunder, gracefully permits Uncle Tiny Mite and Pee Wee to carry her off behind the Shetland pony. Lady Petite, tucked under the arm of the giant policeman, gives pursuit. The runaways are captured. Meanwhile the duke has ordered the Petite mansion sold at sheriff's auction. The kidnappers of Alice have been dismissed by the Pygmyville judge, and they hurry to the rescue of the distraught Lilliputian Lady's property. Uncle Tiny Mite presents Lady Petite with the bill of sale. The little virago embraces Pee Wee, and the affair ends in a double wedding.
- A woman passes a construction site and gets dirt in her eye, which causes her to wink involuntarily. Soon she has a trail of suitors.
- The Corsican Brothers, Nap and Bony, both fall in love with the Count's daughter. Nap is fat and Bony is thin. Naturally, the fat brother falls the harder. The Count does not approve of his daughter's suitor, so he sends the soul of poor Nap to Elysium. The thin brother is left alone, but the fat one's spirit hovers near to guide and protect him. The Count finds it incumbent upon himself to continue his warfare on the remaining Corsican. He calls for a duel in the woods. Secretly, he instructs one of his soldiers to take a cannon behind the hill and fire at the brother while he is dueling with the Count. Thus does the cruel father mean to dispose a second time of his daughter's true love. The duel begins. It is some duel, for both the Count and the Corsican are fancy fencers. When, at last, the cannon goes off, the ball strikes the ground near the Corsican. Bony hurls it back at the man who shot it with such force that the soldier drops dead. The Count picks up a huge stick. But every time he tries to bring it down upon the head of the thin brother, the soul of the fat one appears, seizes the club and suspends it in mid-air. The bewildered Count cannot account for this trick. At last he gives it up. The thin brother wins the Count's daughter, while the soul of the fat brother, having saved Bony from destruction, ascends on high amidst the strains of hallelujah music.
- Bumps oversleeps. An escaped convict enters his room, attaches to Bumps' ankle his own ball and chain, the lock of which he has picked with a hair pin, exchanges his striped garb for the suburbanite's suit, throws the rest of Bumps' clothes out of the window, and makes a clean get-away. Bumps, no help for it, on hearing his train whistle, scrambles into the convict's costume and races for the depot. He soon has the constable and the prison guard at his heels. Missing the train, a band engine is pressed into service. After many exciting adventures, Bumps reaches the office at 4:30. Caught flirting with the head stenographer, Bumps is uniquely punished by his employer, who forces him to take the young lady shopping and spend all his money on her. At the station he meets his wife. She has a ticket, but no cash for her husband's fare. He is obliged to foot it home, and carry all Mrs. Bumps' bundles.
- Charlie hits the cop on the post with a potato. Therefrom ensues a race. Edith protects Charlie from the enraged policeman, and he falls in love with his fair deliverer. Edith, however, is George's sweetheart. George arranges a boating party for Edith, and Charlie is left behind on shore, pretty blue. The lovers leave the motorboat and row to a deserted island. They are cozily settled in a sequestered nook, when a nearby fort, having target practice, throws them violently from their seats. George rows away for his life, leaving Edith to her own resources. All this time Charlie, from afar, has been watching for his chance. He paddles to Edith's rescue. Parental blessings fall thick on Charlie, and Edith transfers her affections to that courageous youth.
- Peter is desirous of winning a prize offered for the best moving picture scenario. He experiences distressing difficulties in securing a quiet place to write, and finally falls asleep and dreams of wonderful successes that are his.
- Two tramps steal a parson's preaching clothes. They find in the pockets a five-dollar bill, a ticket to Hicksville, N.Y., and a letter which reveals the fact that the Reverend Jacob Harris is expected in Hicksville that morning to rehearse a young couple, Hiram Brown and Lilly Lunn, who are to be married that day at noon. Ho, the taller of the tramps, puts on the parson's clothes, and he and his pal board the train. The Reverend Mr. Harris, delayed by the loss of his pulpit garments, reaches the station just in time to see the train pulling out and Ho fast disappearing in his clothes. He hires a farmer to drive him like mad to Hicksville. Meanwhile, the tramps arrive and present themselves at the home of the bride. Ho explains that the disreputable-looking fellow whom he has brought with him, a few hours before had saved his life, and that he has attached Bo to him as his faithful bodyguard. When it is time for the wedding rehearsal to begin, however. Ho gets cold feet. To prevent it being discovered that he is an impostor, he feigns illness, and his limp form is transported to the dining-room, where the wedding breakfast stands ready. The mother of the bride pours wine down Ho's throat, and he revives with alacrity. Bo, meanwhile, has helped himself to the beverage from the sideboard. Another attempt being made to rehearse the ceremony, Ho goes into violent fits. At this juncture in rushes the real parson, clothed in shabby second-best. He very quickly exposes the rascally Ho and Bo, who flee the house, pursued by a volley of dinner plates.
- Daughter wishes to marry the Young-Man-of-Her-Choice. But Papa shuts her up in her room. She manages, however, to smuggle out a note to her sweetheart, telling him that that evening she is going to dope Papa's wine, and that she will depend upon her lover to have a ladder ready beneath her bedroom window. The note is read by a crook. He plots with his pal to rob Papa's safe. The pal, disguised as a cook, obtains a position in Papa's household. That evening, Daughter, on whom, meanwhile, Papa has taken pity and whom he has released, puts an opiate into the decanter of wine, pours out a tempting glass for Papa, and runs upstairs to pack her bag. Papa, having a headache, decides not to indulge in wine. He turns it back into the decanter and goes to bed. Meanwhile Daughter and the Young-Man-of-Her-Choice have eloped in an automobile. The coast being clear, the "cook" admits his pal, and they advance upon the safe. Papa is roused. He comes upon the crooks, who hold him up at the point of a gun and force him to exchange clothes with the cook's accomplice. When the police arrive they arrest Papa for rifling his own safe. The lovers have stopped to make a tire change. The tire rolls away down the street, and the man and the girl give frenzied pursuit. A strange young man waylays the runaway tire and claims it for his own. The dispute is interrupted by a policeman who marches all three to the station house. Here Papa, Daughter and Sweetheart are brought face to face. Papa's identity is established, and the officers rush back to recover the real thieves. They find them well doped with the opiated wine. Papa gets back all his money and his valuable papers intact. In his gratitude to the elopers, he drops the automobile tire around them and proclaims his blessing. Meanwhile the two' policemen have taken a pull at the wine, and marched off the bogus cook and his companion. The wine soon works upon the officers of the law. Both thieves escape, while their captors, overcome with sleep, succumb in the middle of the sidewalk.
- A very pretty artist's model has very large feet, of which she is extremely proud and likes to show off.
- Hans is kicked out of the German band. Meanwhile, the Sausage King, who is bringing out his young daughter, Lina, that evening, is on tenterhooks because the world-famous violinist has failed to arrive. Hans stumbles up the steps of the mansion. He is dragged indoors and presently finds himself the lion of the occasion. Ravenously hungry, Hans snatches the refreshments in fistfuls and jams them down his throat. The Sausage King begs to remind his friends that the man is, "Eccentric, you know. Oh, very." Lina already has lost her heart to the temperamental youth, and when he is challenged by Count Wanterpence to a duel there is terrible excitement at the coming-out ball of the daughter of the Sausage King. Hans is laid low. He recuperates, however. Then the unsuspecting Count gets his. Lina is in ecstasies. Meanwhile the arrival of the real violinist promises to expose the ex-musician of the German band. But the Sausage King is of no mind to have the sensation of the evening spoiled in the society column. So he buys off the great Strensky with a check for $500. Hans and Lina plight their troth and mamma rejoices.
- Gordon Gloom is a terrible grouch. He doesn't appreciate Emeline Black, his housekeeper, whom he discharges in a fit of anger. Emeline, knowing better what is good for old Gloom than he does himself, enlists the aid of Grimes, the employment agent, in curing the grouchy Gordon. First, in response to Gordon's hurry call for a new cook, Emeline, disguised in an eccentric make-up, reports to her ex-employer. She succeeds in wrecking the establishment and getting fired. Then Gordon demands a colored cook. Emeline persuades a huge negro gentleman to masquerade in this part, and when the new servant, to the indignation of Gloom, has filled the house with her own cronies that evening, a battle ensues in which the master barely escapes with his life. Emeline comes to his rescue. Gloom falls on his knees, declares she has saved him from the coons, declares himself a tamed grouch and implores her to marry him.
- Rip Van Winkle has a fortune to leave to his daughter. The burgomeister hears of it and decides that Dora Van Winkle shall marry his son, Piet. He takes Rip into custody and feeds him on salt herring, until he has worked up for the old man a terrible thirst. The burgomeister refuses to give Rip anything to drink until he has signed a paper saying that his daughter shall marry Piet. The deed completed, Rip is let loose. He drinks the river dry. Intoxicated by the stimulating draught, he wanders up into the mountains with his faithful dog. They fall asleep. When, at last, he awakes he finds that his beard has grown four feet long, and that a pigeon has built its nest in it. His dog, also, is three times the size he was when they climbed the mountain. Rip rushes back to town, upsetting everybody by his phenomenally hairy appearance. His wife falls into one faint after another. But Rip is in time to foil the burgomeister's plot, and Dora is given to the man she adores.
- A street vendor dressed as a sandwich is chased by a delirious portly man who believes him to be an actual sandwich.
- Ella Lee gives piano and singing lessons. Edward Pickett, smitten with Ella's charms, opens a banjo school across the hall. The mischievous Miss Lee persuades two old farmers and a hulking country fellow to palm themselves off as deaf-and-dumb and blind applicants for banjo lessons. They arrive in rapid succession, and Pickett is in despair. However, he notices that when he picks the strings of his instrument, the two old duffers cannot keep their feet still. He begins to suspect that they are not so deaf as they appear. At last, over a box of good cigars, the entire joke comes out. Pickett plans a sweet revenge upon Miss Ella. The revenge takes the form of ardent wooing, and a few weeks later a big sign reads: "Mr. and Mrs. Edward Pickett, Piano and Banjo Instruction."
- Fatty is in love with Melinda, but Melinda's aunt won't approve of the romance because Fatty is just a janitor.
- Brown's butler, Joe, formerly subject to indigestion, can now enjoy the finest feast, since he takes regularly "long life bitters." The dyspeptic Brown's meals are set before him by Joe; they are also eaten for him by his faithful servant. Brown calls on Edith, his sweetheart, but is seized with a terrible pain. He hurries home. Edith's brother Charlie, arrives. Brown never has met Charlie, and when he sees him pass the house with Edith he becomes insanely jealous. Determining to end all his miseries, he writes Edith a note, saying that by the time it reaches her, he will be dead. Brown sends Joe, the butler, with the missive. But the latter, becoming inquisitive, reads the letter and rushes back to his master. In the excitement Joe loses the letter. Meanwhile, Brown has found a bottle of carbolic acid. Joe pretends to have a fit, and while Brown runs for the doctor, the faithful serving man empties the poison and replaces it with "long-life bitters." Later, Brown drains the bitters. Almost immediately he develops an astonishing appetite, and orders a sumptuous dinner. A small boy finds the suicidal note and delivers it to Edith. Brown gives Joe one of his calling cards and commissions him to win back his girl. Joe contrives to get hit by Edith's automobile. Brown's card is found in Joe's pocket, and Edith, supposing the wounded victim is Brown, throws her arms about his neck, pleading forgiveness. When she discovers that she is embracing Brown's butler, anger wrestles with relief and delight. But through Joe's diplomacy, a reconciliation is effected between the lovers.