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- Cartman's dream about being abducted by aliens turns out to have actually happened, and when the aliens take Kyle's brother, all of them must find a way to bring the aliens back and confront them.
- Cartman leads a campaign against the Jews after seeing "The Passion Of The Christ." Meanwhile, Stan and Kenny try to get their money back from Mel Gibson and discover that he is completely insane.
- When everyone in South Park decides to forgo presents and celebrate a non-materialistic holiday season, the boys try to bring the spirit of commercialism back to Christmas by making an animated film.
- Stan learns about the Mormon religion after a new family moves to South Park from Utah. Caught up in the family-friendly doctrine of the church, Randy declares the Marshes to be Mormon as well.
- Kyle tries to crossbreed an elephant with a pig to win a science contest.
- The kids and their families take a vacation together in Aspen. However, the parents get stuck in an endless timeshare presentation, and Stan is forced into a showdown with a cocky skier.
- Bebe's breasts begin to develop, and the boys are at a loss to explain why they are suddenly drawn to her, when they had no interest in her before.
- Stan becomes distracted from the upcoming football game because his dog is gay, so he turns to the gayest man in town for advice, Big Gay Al.
- Rob Reiner comes to town to lead an anti tobacco crusade after the boys briefly take up smoking.
- Butters' mother snaps and tries to kill her son after the revelation that her husband frequents gay bath houses.
- Chef and the children learn that Earth is actually just a reality show for other planets. When they learn it is to be canceled, the boys travel to a distant planet to plead their case to the network executives.
- Cartman mistakenly believes he is a psychic, and is recruited by the police to help them with investigations.
- The boys get snowed in at the hospital while waiting to learn the identity of Cartman's father. Meanwhile, the townspeople resort to cannibalism when they get snowed in.
- Eric Cartman goes on a quest to find out who his father was. But when he learns who his mother slept with matters get complicated... because she slept with everybody in town.
- Cartman is sent to juvenile hall after he throws a rock at a black child.
- Cartman inherits a large sum of money and uses it to purchase his own amusement park. His resulting success causes Kyle to lose faith in God.
- The boys organize a music festival to raise money when Chef is sued by a record company.
- Chef protests the racist South Park flag.
- Hollywood big-shots try to turn South Park into another Sundance. However, they wreak havoc on the town's eco-system, which could cause Mr. Hankey to die.
- Kyle needs a kidney transplant, and Cartman is the only suitable donor. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison writes a novel.
- Mr. Barbrady goes back to school after it is discovered that he is illiterate. As he learns to read, a criminal is on the loose molesting all the chickens in South Park.
- The kids get hooked on a brainwashing violent cartoon from Japan which turns them against the American government.
- Cartman, Butters, and Token soar to the top of the Christian rock charts, but when the other boys kick Cartman out, he seeks a way to get them back.
- As their school bus teeters over the edge of a cliff, the boys recall past memories.
- Stan builds a clubhouse so he can play truth or dare with Wendy. Meanwhile, he deals with his parents' unexpected divorce.
- The people of South Park attempt to raise awareness of the school nurse's disability. Meanwhile, the boys travel to China to compete in a dodge ball championship.
- All of South Park's cows become mesmerized by the town's new Wooden Cow Memorial. Meanwhile, the kids' plan to win a Terence and Philip doll from a carney at the Cow Days festival becomes complicated and dangerous.
- The boys fight to get Big Gay Al reinstated as their scout leader, and Timmy is jealous of the new handicapped kid in town, Jimmy.
- The son of Satan called Damien is sent to Earth to find Jesus. Jesus and Satan end up in a fight of good and evil. The only problem is it's the same date as Cartman's birthday.
- Grampa wants Stan to kill him, the parents all want to kill the Terrance and Philip show, and Death just wants to kill someone.
- The boys become obsessed with religion after a sermon about hell scares them. Meanwhile, Saddam returns to Hell and tries to dispose of Satan's new boyfriend.
- Stan refuses to vote in the school mascot election because his choices are a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Unfortunately, his views on voting are seen as un-American, and he is ultimately banished from the town.
- Cartman makes a Jennifer Lopez hand doll and turns her into a music star, which draws the furious anger of the real Jennifer Lopez as well as the sexual advances of Ben Affleck.
- Cartman is outraged when he is sent to fat camp by his mother. Meanwhile, Kenny becomes famous for a "Jackass" style TV show.
- Ms Garrison realises she still has feelings for Mr Slave. But Mr Slave has moved on and plans to marry his new boyfriend, Big Gay Al as soon as the Governor signs the same sex marriage bill.
- The boys disguise Butters as a mutant to win prizes on The Maury Povich show. They become upset when Butters' prize is a round of putt-putt golf, and so Cartman goes on the show as an out of control teen. The mutant freaks who make a career of visiting TV talk shows go on strike, taking Butters with them.
- A school assignment pairs the boys up with Tweek, a neurotic boy who claims that gnomes are stealing his underwear. Meanwhile, Tweek's father fights against a corporation that is stealing his business.
- The boys lie to get ninja weapons from the fair, but must decide whether or not to tell their parents when Butters is injured with a throwing star.
- Pip attends boarding school in an adaptation of "Great Expectations."
- Cartman goes overboard directing a Thanksgiving production of "The Miracle Worker." Meanwhile, Timmy develops a bond with a runt turkey named Gobbles.
- A class war ensues in South Park when it becomes a hot spot for rich celebrities. Meanwhile, Token feels rejected by his friends and goes to live with lions.
- Cartman puts a picture of Kenny's butt on a milk carton as a prank, but is disturbed when a couple arrives in South Park claiming it was a picture of their missing son.
- The town is divided down the middle on the Iraq war issue. Therefore, Cartman tries to induce a flashback so that he can find out what the Founding Fathers would have to say about the war.
- Mr. Mackey is fired from school after losing a marijuana sample in class and winds up becoming a druggie, and Kyle tries to keep his brother Ike from having his bris after he finds out what will take place during the ceremony.
- Society is almost destroyed when a popular television show uses the word "shit" on the air.
- The boys go to Canada to retrieve Ike, after his birth parents show up in South Park and claim him as their own.
- A surviving breed of dinosaur is discovered in South Park, but no one (except Cartman) can stand them.
- Kenny comes with Kyle to Jewish Camp and almost witnesses the destruction of the Jewish faith.
- The rock band Korn visits South Park during Halloween to solve the mystery of the pirate ghosts that are terrifying the town.