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- Which of the staff are safe at the surreal Kirke University when cuts are imminent? Writer of 'Joy Of Zero', Imogen Moffat looks safe, as does womanizer Matt Beer - vital for seducing the restructuring guru Georgina.
- Former police officer Matthew starts work as a newly-qualified midwife. As expected, his first day is full of drama, sarcastic comments, and snide remarks about his gender.
- Jonty De Wolfe is the eccentric, cross-dressing vice-chancellor at the red-brick Kirke university. When Jason, the chief finance officer, accidentally authorizes paying the staff two lots of wages, thus putting the university into millions of pounds of debt, De Wolfe has to look for a solution. Plain Jane Maths lecturer Imogen Moffatt has written a best-selling book, which De Wolfe hopes will attract the 'foreigns' to Kirke. Now De Wolfe wants English lecturer Matt Beer to write another book to emulate Imogen's. Unfortunately Matt is a lazy womanizer and it looks as if the only way De Wolfe can come up with damage limitation is to fire a quarter of the staff.