Some More Of The Worst Movies Of All Time
Once Again I Am Bored As F/ck, So Now I Am Going To Bore You With Another List Of Some Of The Biggest Abominations In Film I Have Ever Seen, Here They Are...
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- DirectorNicolas Winding RefnStarsMads MikkelsenMaarten StevensonAlexander MortonForced for some time to be a fighting slave, a pagan warrior escapes his captors with a boy and joins a group of Crusaders on their quest to the Holy Land.Sounded Awesome... But It Sucked
- DirectorCole S. McKayStarsJaz MartinHennely JimenezAnnaMaria DemaraAn amateur racer gets involved in illegal street racing after the death of his brother.It Had Some of the Worst C.G.I I've Ever Seen, and It Was Used For Almost Every Race.
- DirectorChristopher RayStarsGary StretchJaleel WhiteSarah LievingA megalodon battles with a crocosaurus causing massive destruction. The US Army has to try and destroy the havoc creating monsters.What A Crock...
- DirectorNeil MarshallStarsSean PertweeKevin McKiddEmma CleasbyA routine military exercise turns into a nightmare in the Scottish wilderness.I'll Admit, I Got A Kick Out Of When The Guy Stuffed ALL Of His Organs Back In and Kept Going...
- DirectorDavid CronenbergStarsJames WoodsDebbie HarrySonja SmitsA programmer at a Toronto TV station that specializes in adult entertainment searches for the producers of a dangerous and bizarre broadcast.It's Good If Your Into Snuff Films (You Freak)
- DirectorNicholas WebsterStarsJohn CallLeonard HicksVincent BeckThe Martians kidnap Santa Claus because there is nobody on Mars to give their children presents....
- DirectorDaniel BaldwinStarsKim CoatesDaniel BaldwinJanine TheriaultAn ex-SAS agent and a thief battle for their lives as air runs out in a maze of abandoned mine tunnels while they're searching for $200 million in stolen diamonds.It's Bad When "The Hero" Is A Lazy Piece Of Unlikeable Crap, In Both The Movie And Reality.
- DirectorUwe BollStarsJonathan CherryTyron LeitsoClint HowardA group of college students travels to a mysterious island to attend a rave, which is soon taken over by bloodthirsty zombies.All You Need To Know Is It's A Video Game Movie...
- DirectorRich CowanStarsRay LiottaGisele FragaMichael RodrickWhile investigating a series of murders, a homicide detective becomes the prime suspect when the FBI uncovers his close personal ties to all the victims.Impressive Cast, But That Was All
- DirectorM. Night ShyamalanStarsPaul GiamattiBryce Dallas HowardJeffrey WrightApartment building superintendent Cleveland Heep rescues what he thinks is a young woman from the pool he maintains. When he discovers that she is actually a character from a bedtime story who is trying to make the journey back to her home, he works with his tenants to protect his new friend from the creatures that are determined to keep her in our world.I'm Not Even Sure What He Was Trying To Do With This One
- DirectorMichael BayStarsBen AffleckKate BeckinsaleJosh HartnettA tale of war and romance mixed in with history. The story follows two lifelong friends and a beautiful nurse who are caught up in the horror of an infamous Sunday morning in 1941.It Was Like Pouring Salt In A Wound
- DirectorMichael OblowitzStarsVal KilmerDylan NealPaul McGillionA slow, quiet Christmas Eve night at the police station turns into strange horror after a man enters claiming he wants to confess to murder.I Probably Would Have Liked It Better If They Hadn't Given Away The Plot Twist In The First 5 Minutes
- DirectorJon AvnetStarsRobert De NiroAl PacinoCarla GuginoTwo veteran New York City detectives work on a case of serial executions of criminals who escaped justice.Like So Many Others I Loved Heat, and Was Entranced By The Idea Of Them Doing Another Movie Together... Damn It Was Disappointing
- DirectorAnnabel JankelRocky MortonStarsBob HoskinsJohn LeguizamoDennis HopperTwo Brooklyn plumbers, Mario and Luigi, must travel to another dimension to rescue a princess from the evil dictator King Koopa and stop him from taking over the world.I'm Fairly Sure Whoever Made This Movie Never Played Any Of The Games...
- DirectorRussell MulcahyStarsThomas JaneVing RhamesElsa PatakyA tough as nails private investigator (Malone) squares off with gangsters and their thugs to protect a valuable secret. Malone goes through hell to protect the information but he dishes some hell as well.Why He Turned Down The Opportunity To Recur His Role As The Punisher I'll Never Know...
- DirectorLexi AlexanderStarsRay StevensonDominic WestJulie BenzFrank Castle, known as the Punisher, ruthlessly demolishes organized crime, but it starts an even bigger war.Okay... Maybe I Will
- DirectorJon FavreauStarsRobert Downey Jr.Mickey RourkeGwyneth PaltrowWith the world now aware of his identity as Iron Man, Tony Stark must contend with both his declining health and a vengeful mad man with ties to his father's legacy.It's Only Saving Point Was Scarlett Johansson In Tight Leather and Red Hair...
- DirectorThomas JaneStarsThomas JaneLauren GermanRon PerlmanA couple en route from Las Vegas are forced to deal with a body in the desert, making their honeymoon one hellish ride.What A Useless Movie
- DirectorLana WachowskiLilly WachowskiStarsKeanu ReevesLaurence FishburneCarrie-Anne MossThe human city of Zion defends itself against the massive invasion of the machines as Neo fights to end the war at another front while also opposing the rogue Agent Smith.I'd List The Second One As Well, But It At Least Had Scenes I Liked. This One Was Like A Slap In The Face To The Series' Fans...
- DirectorP.J. PesceStarsMarco LeonardiMichael ParksAra CeliSet 100 years ago in Mexico, this horror/western is the story of the birth of the vampire princess Santanico Pandemonium.At Least The Second One Tried Something New, This One Was Just A Crappy Re-Make Of The First One. (Oh But Set It The Wild West, So I Guess My Initial Statement Is Wrong)
- DirectorGuy Norman BeeStarsDennis HopperWill PattonFred WardAfter thirty years in prison, ex-con Ronnie (Dennis Hopper) recruits his grandson to exact revenge on Darryl (Fred Ward), the cop who put him behind bars. Standing in their way is Ronnie's son, whom Darryl raised.It Was Fairly Obvious Pontiac Had A Major Role In Funding This Film, Almost Every Car Was An '04 GTO, and There Was Even A Scene At A Car Show Where They Introduced The Vehicle, Giving Us All The Specs.
- DirectorZack SnyderStarsJackie Earle HaleyPatrick WilsonCarla GuginoIn a version of 1985 where superheroes exist, the murder of a colleague sends active vigilante Rorschach on the trail of a conspiracy that will change the course of history.The only Reason I Stuck It Out To The End Was The Anticipation Of The Epic Final Battle, That Never Happened.
I Will Give It Points For Soundtrack Though. - DirectorPeter JacksonStarsNaomi WattsJack BlackAdrien BrodyA greedy film producer assembles a team of moviemakers and sets out for the infamous Skull Island, where they find more than just cannibalistic natives.This Goes For Everyone Of Them Except The Original, It Was A Decent Movie For The Time, With A Nice Story, But Every Re-Make Has Been Worse Than The Last...
- DirectorNeil MarshallStarsShauna MacdonaldNatalie MendozaAlex ReidA caving expedition goes horribly wrong, as the explorers become trapped and ultimately pursued by a strange breed of predators.I Don't Even Remember Why I Watched It, But I Can Think Of 98 Reasons Why You Shouldn't...
- DirectorMichael LembeckStarsDwayne JohnsonAshley JuddJulie AndrewsA bad deed on the part of a tough minor-league hockey player results in an unusual sentence: He must serve one week as a real-life tooth fairy.Anybody Who Let's Their Kids Watch This One Should Be Brought Up On Charges Of Child Abuse...
- DirectorTroy MillerStarsDerek RichardsonEric Christian OlsenEugene LevySet back in the 80s when Harry met Lloyd in high school where they cross paths with a mean principal and a bunch of other outcasts much like themselves.Genocide Is More Amusing...
- DirectorEli RothStarsJay HernandezDerek RichardsonEythor GudjonssonThree backpackers head to a Slovak city that promises to meet their hedonistic expectations, with no idea of the hell that awaits them.The Only Thing People Had To Rave About Was A 1 Second Scene Where A Girl Gets Her Optic Nerve Cut, I've Seen Worse Things Than That On T.V. Guide...
- DirectorRonny YuStarsRobert EnglundKen KirzingerKelly RowlandFreddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees return to terrorize the teenagers of Elm Street. Only this time, they're out to get each other, too.Apparently Both Series Writers Ran Out Of Ideas (Assuming They Had Any In The First Place), Until Some Brown-Noser Blurted Out The Infamous Idea Of A "Colossal Battle" Between The Two Giants Of Crap Horror Movies. Call Me Jason Fights Leather-Face, 'Cause He Could Beat Freddy With His Eyes Closed...
- DirectorJason FriedbergAaron SeltzerStarsJenn ProskeMatt LanterDiedrich BaderIn this spoof of vampire-themed movies, teenager Becca finds herself torn between two boys. She and her friends wrestle with endless dramas that crescendo at the prom.I Know Spoof Movies Are Supposed To Be Stupid, But Come On...
- DirectorM.J. BassettStarsJamie BellRúaidhrí ConroyMike DowneyIn the middle of World War I, nine British soldiers caught behind enemy lines seek refuge in a complex network of German trenches. What they soon discover is that they aren't alone - and it isn't a German soldier that's hunting them down.The Movie Was So Low Budget, That The Producers And I Both Discovered Fake Barbed Wire Is More Expensive That The Real Stuff, And I'm Sure The Actors Found Out The Hard Way As Well...
- DirectorPatrick LussierStarsGerard ButlerJustine WaddellJonny Lee MillerA group of thieves breaks into a chamber expecting to find paintings, but instead they release the count himself, who travels to New Orleans to find his nemesis' daughter, Mary Van Helsing.This One 'Sucked'...
- DirectorGeorge A. RomeroStarsMichelle MorganJoshua CloseShawn RobertsA group of young film students run into real-life zombies while filming a horror movie of their own.Either George A. Romero Is Losing His Touch, Or The Walking Dead Raised My Standards Too High.
- DirectorJohn HerzfeldStarsRobert De NiroEdward BurnsKelsey GrammerA homicide detective and a fire marshal must stop a pair of murderers who commit videotaped crimes to become media darlings.A Fire Martial?
- DirectorLiam LynchStarsJack BlackKyle GassJR ReedTo become the greatest band of all time, two slacker, wannabe-rockers set out on a quest to steal a legendary guitar pick that gives its holders incredible guitar skills, from a maximum security Rock and Roll museum.Like The Band, Like Jack Black, Hell... I Even Liked The Game, But What The F/ck Was This?
- DirectorJames GrayStarsJoaquin PhoenixMark WahlbergEva MendesA New York City nightclub manager tries to save his brother and father from Russian Mafia hitmen.I'll Admit, I Got My Money's Worth In The First 5 Minutes, But Just Shut It Off After That... Your Not Going To Miss Anything Special.
- DirectorRonny YuStarsSamuel L. JacksonRobert CarlyleEmily MortimerAn American master chemist plans to score big on a once in a lifetime drug deal. All does not go as planned and he is soon entangled in a web of deceit.It's So Bad Even IMDB Couldn't Say It's Name...
- DirectorDemian LichtensteinStarsKurt RussellKevin CostnerCourteney CoxA gang of ex-cons rob a casino during Elvis convention week.Trust Me, You'll Get More Fun Out Of Cutting Off Your Own Nipples (Just Like That Guy From Crank 2)
- DirectorBrett RatnerStarsNicolas CageTéa LeoniDon CheadleA fast-lane investment broker, offered the opportunity to see how the other half lives, wakes up to find that his sports car and girlfriend have become a mini-van and wife.Someone Once Said That Nicolas Cage Either Does Masterpieces Or Flops. This Was A Flop...
- DirectorVincent WardStarsRobin WilliamsCuba Gooding Jr.Annabella SciorraChris Nielsen dies in an accident, and enters Heaven. But when he discovers that his beloved wife Annie has killed herself out of grief over the loss, he embarks on an afterlife adventure to reunite with her.It's Got Robin Williams, That Say's...
- DirectorRobert AltmanStarsRobin WilliamsShelley DuvallRay WalstonThe adventures of the famous sailor man and his friends in the seaside town of Sweethaven....It All Right There
- DirectorAng LeeStarsChow Yun-FatMichelle YeohZiyi ZhangA young Chinese warrior steals a sword from a famed swordsman and then escapes into a world of romantic adventure with a mysterious man in the frontier of the nation.I Like Martial Arts Movies As Much As The Next Person, So If Your One Of Those Don't Even Start, It Sucked PERIOD
- DirectorTim StoryStarsQueen LatifahJimmy FallonGisele BündchenA mouthy and feisty taxicab driver has hot tips for a green and inept cop set on solving a string of New York City bank robberies committed by a quartet of female Brazilian bank robbers....
- DirectorVictor SalvaStarsMary SteenburgenSean Patrick FlaneryLance HenriksenAn off-the-charts genius who is home schooled and shunned after his last relative dies shows the unconscious residents of his town about connection awareness and the generosity of the spirit.1 Of 2 Reasons I Almost Dropped Out Of School Indefinitely (It's The Only Place Cruel Enough To Make You Watch This)
- DirectorMichael ChapmanStarsDaryl HannahPamela ReedJames RemarA young Cro-Magnon woman is raised by Neanderthals.2 Of 2 Reasons I Almost Dropped Out Of School Indefinitely (It's The Only Place Cruel Enough To Make You Watch This)
- DirectorAlan ParkerStarsKevin SpaceyKate WinsletLaura LinneyA man against capital punishment is accused of murdering a fellow activist and is sent to death row.Total S/it
- DirectorJamie UysStarsN!xauLena FarugiaHans StrydomSix people meet in the Kalahari desert: a female NYC lawyer flying with a local zoologist/pilot in a mini-plane, a Cuban and an African soldier taking each other POW, a Boer elephant poacher, and a Bushman looking for his two children.The First One Was Pretty Good Considering That It Was A College Project, But This Was Just A Sorry Excuse For A Cash-In.
- DirectorWoon-hak BaekStarsSeok-hun KimBae DoonaPark Sang-minThis is a touching action epic about an all-out war between a subway terrorist who holds a city hostage and the detective who risks his life to save everyone. It's the heart-wrenching story of love and sacrifice that grows in a desperate situation, and the humanity of people trying to save others in the face of extreme danger at breath-taking speeds and on a huge scale.I Have To Say I Expected A Lot More From This, Asian (Oriental If Your Sensitive) Action Films Usually Do A Wonderful Job.
- DirectorGarth JenningsStarsMartin FreemanYasiin BeySam RockwellMere seconds before the Earth is to be demolished by an alien construction crew, journeyman Arthur Dent is swept off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher penning a new edition of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."The Book Was Actually Funny, And Almost Nothing Like This Movie...
- DirectorJohn HillcoatStarsViggo MortensenCharlize TheronKodi Smit-McPheeIn a dangerous post-apocalyptic world, an ailing father defends his son as they slowly travel to the sea.I Thought It Was Gonna' Wipe The Floor With Book Of Eli, But It Didn't.
- DirectorGreg MottolaStarsSimon PeggNick FrostSeth RogenTwo English comic book geeks traveling across the U.S. encounter an alien outside Area 51.After Shaun Of The Dead And Hot Fuzz, It Was Nice To See Them Back Together, Unfortunately Seth Rogen Ruined Any Chances Of It Being Funny When His Odor Stunk Up The Studio.