Some More Of The Worst Movies Of All Time

by grove-for-life | created - 07 Dec 2011 | updated - 08 Dec 2011 | Public

Once Again I Am Bored As F/ck, So Now I Am Going To Bore You With Another List Of Some Of The Biggest Abominations In Film I Have Ever Seen, Here They Are...

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1. Valhalla Rising (2009)

Not Rated | 93 min | Adventure, Drama, Fantasy

61 Metascore

Forced for some time to be a fighting slave, a pagan warrior escapes his captors with a boy and joins a group of Crusaders on their quest to the Holy Land.

Director: Nicolas Winding Refn | Stars: Mads Mikkelsen, Maarten Stevenson, Alexander Morton, Stewart Porter

Votes: 54,341 | Gross: $0.02M

Sounded Awesome... But It Sucked

2. 200 M.P.H. (2011 Video)

R | 92 min | Action, Adventure, Drama

An amateur racer gets involved in illegal street racing after the death of his brother.

Director: Cole S. McKay | Stars: Jaz Martin, Hennely Jimenez, AnnaMaria Demara, Darren Anthony Thomas

Votes: 1,721

It Had Some of the Worst C.G.I I've Ever Seen, and It Was Used For Almost Every Race.

3. Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (2010 Video)

R | 88 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy

A megalodon battles with a crocosaurus causing massive destruction. The US Army has to try and destroy the havoc creating monsters.

Director: Christopher Ray | Stars: Gary Stretch, Jaleel White, Sarah Lieving, Robert Picardo

Votes: 4,883

What A Crock...

4. Dog Soldiers (2002)

R | 105 min | Action, Horror, Thriller

A routine military exercise turns into a nightmare in the Scotland wilderness.

Director: Neil Marshall | Stars: Sean Pertwee, Kevin McKidd, Emma Cleasby, Liam Cunningham

Votes: 53,861

I'll Admit, I Got A Kick Out Of When The Guy Stuffed ALL Of His Organs Back In and Kept Going...

5. Videodrome (1983)

R | 87 min | Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller

60 Metascore

When he acquires a different kind of show for his station, a sleazy cable-TV programmer begins to see his life and the future of media spin out of control in a terrifying new reality.

Director: David Cronenberg | Stars: James Woods, Debbie Harry, Sonja Smits, Peter Dvorsky

Votes: 80,141 | Gross: $2.12M

It's Good If Your Into Snuff Films (You Freak)

6. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

Not Rated | 81 min | Adventure, Comedy, Family

The Martians kidnap Santa Claus because there is nobody on Mars to give their children presents.

Director: Nicholas Webster | Stars: John Call, Leonard Hicks, Vincent Beck, Bill McCutcheon

Votes: 10,595

...

7. Tunnel (2002 Video)

R | 94 min | Action, Thriller

An ex-SAS agent and a thief battle for their lives as air runs out in a maze of abandoned mine tunnels while they're searching for $200 million in stolen diamonds.

Director: Daniel Baldwin | Stars: Kim Coates, Daniel Baldwin, Janine Theriault, Audrey Benoit

Votes: 261

It's Bad When "The Hero" Is A Lazy Piece Of Unlikeable Crap, In Both The Movie And Reality.

8. House of the Dead (2003)

R | 90 min | Action, Adventure, Horror

15 Metascore

A group of college students travels to a mysterious island to attend a rave, which is soon taken over by bloodthirsty zombies.

Director: Uwe Boll | Stars: Jonathan Cherry, Tyron Leitso, Clint Howard, Ona Grauer

Votes: 35,471 | Gross: $10.25M

All You Need To Know Is It's A Video Game Movie...

9. The River Murders (2011)

R | 92 min | Crime, Drama, Mystery

While investigating a series of murders, a homicide detective becomes the prime suspect when the FBI uncovers his close personal ties to all the victims.

Director: Rich Cowan | Stars: Ray Liotta, Christian Slater, Ving Rhames, Gisele Fraga

Votes: 3,963

Impressive Cast, But That Was All

10. Lady in the Water (2006)

PG-13 | 110 min | Drama, Fantasy, Mystery

36 Metascore

Apartment building superintendent Cleveland Heep rescues what he thinks is a young woman from the pool he maintains. When he discovers that she is actually a character from a bedtime story who is trying to make the journey back to her home, he works with his tenants to protect his new friend from the creatures that are determined to keep her in our world.

Director: M. Night Shyamalan | Stars: Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jeffrey Wright, Bob Balaban

Votes: 93,228 | Gross: $42.29M

I'm Not Even Sure What He Was Trying To Do With This One

11. Pearl Harbor (2001)

PG-13 | 183 min | Action, Drama, History

44 Metascore

A tale of war and romance mixed in with history. The story follows two lifelong friends and a beautiful nurse who are caught up in the horror of an infamous Sunday morning in 1941.

Director: Michael Bay | Stars: Ben Affleck, Kate Beckinsale, Josh Hartnett, William Lee Scott

Votes: 304,663 | Gross: $198.54M

It Was Like Pouring Salt In A Wound

12. The Traveler (I) (2010)

R | 96 min | Horror, Thriller

A slow, quiet Christmas Eve night at the police station turns into strange horror after a man enters claiming he wants to confess to murder.

Director: Michael Oblowitz | Stars: Val Kilmer, Dylan Neal, Paul McGillion, Camille Sullivan

Votes: 4,466

I Probably Would Have Liked It Better If They Hadn't Given Away The Plot Twist In The First 5 Minutes

13. Righteous Kill (2008)

R | 101 min | Crime, Drama, Mystery

36 Metascore

Two veteran New York City detectives work on a case of serial executions of criminals who escaped justice.

Director: Jon Avnet | Stars: Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Carla Gugino, 50 Cent

Votes: 83,104 | Gross: $40.08M

Like So Many Others I Loved Heat, and Was Entranced By The Idea Of Them Doing Another Movie Together... Damn It Was Disappointing

14. Super Mario Bros. (1993)

PG | 104 min | Adventure, Comedy, Family

Two Brooklyn plumbers, Mario and Luigi, must travel to another dimension to rescue a princess from the evil dictator King Koopa and stop him from taking over the world.

Directors: Annabel Jankel, Rocky Morton | Stars: Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper, Samantha Mathis

Votes: 47,507 | Gross: $20.92M

I'm Fairly Sure Whoever Made This Movie Never Played Any Of The Games...

15. Give 'em Hell Malone (2009)

R | 96 min | Action, Crime, Thriller

A tough as nails private investigator (Malone) squares off with gangsters and their thugs to protect a valuable secret. Malone goes through hell to protect the information but he dishes some hell as well...

Director: Russell Mulcahy | Stars: Thomas Jane, Ving Rhames, Elsa Pataky, French Stewart

Votes: 5,993

Why He Turned Down The Opportunity To Recur His Role As The Punisher I'll Never Know...

16. Punisher: War Zone (2008)

R | 103 min | Action, Crime, Drama

30 Metascore

Frank Castle known as Punisher ruthlessly demolishes organized crime, but it starts an even bigger war.

Director: Lexi Alexander | Stars: Ray Stevenson, Dominic West, Julie Benz, Doug Hutchison

Votes: 59,188 | Gross: $7.95M

Okay... Maybe I Will

17. Iron Man 2 (2010)

PG-13 | 124 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

57 Metascore

With the world now aware of his identity as Iron Man, Tony Stark must contend with both his declining health and a vengeful mad man with ties to his father's legacy.

Director: Jon Favreau | Stars: Robert Downey Jr., Mickey Rourke, Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle

Votes: 699,260 | Gross: $312.43M

It's Only Saving Point Was Scarlett Johansson In Tight Leather and Red Hair...

18. Dark Country (2009)

R | 88 min | Crime, Mystery, Thriller

A couple en route from Las Vegas are forced to deal with a body out in the desert making their honeymoon one hellish ride.

Director: Thomas Jane | Stars: Thomas Jane, Lauren German, Ron Perlman, Chris Browning

Votes: 4,374

What A Useless Movie

19. The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

R | 129 min | Action, Sci-Fi

47 Metascore

The human city of Zion defends itself against the massive invasion of the machines as Neo fights to end the war at another front while also opposing the rogue Agent Smith.

Directors: Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski | Stars: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving

Votes: 435,323 | Gross: $139.31M

I'd List The Second One As Well, But It At Least Had Scenes I Liked. This One Was Like A Slap In The Face To The Series' Fans...

20. From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter (1999 Video)

R | 94 min | Horror, Thriller, Western

Set 100 years ago in Mexico, this horror/western is the story of the birth of the vampire princess Santanico Pandemonium.

Director: P.J. Pesce | Stars: Marco Leonardi, Michael Parks, Ara Celi, Jordana Spiro

Votes: 10,741

At Least The Second One Tried Something New, This One Was Just A Crappy Re-Make Of The First One. (Oh But Set It The Wild West, So I Guess My Initial Statement Is Wrong)

21. The Last Ride (2004 TV Movie)

84 min | Action, Drama, Thriller

After thirty years in prison, ex-con Ronnie (Dennis Hopper) recruits his grandson to exact revenge on Darryl (Fred Ward), the cop who put him behind bars. Standing in their way is Ronnie's son, whom Darryl raised.

Director: Guy Norman Bee | Stars: Dennis Hopper, Will Patton, Fred Ward, Nadine Velazquez

Votes: 1,595

It Was Fairly Obvious Pontiac Had A Major Role In Funding This Film, Almost Every Car Was An '04 GTO, and There Was Even A Scene At A Car Show Where They Introduced The Vehicle, Giving Us All The Specs.

22. Watchmen (2009)

R | 162 min | Action, Drama, Mystery

56 Metascore

In 1985 where former superheroes exist, the murder of a colleague sends active vigilante Rorschach into his own sprawling investigation, uncovering something that could completely change the course of history as we know it.

Director: Zack Snyder | Stars: Jackie Earle Haley, Patrick Wilson, Carla Gugino, Malin Akerman

Votes: 485,652 | Gross: $107.51M

The only Reason I Stuck It Out To The End Was The Anticipation Of The Epic Final Battle, That Never Happened.

I Will Give It Points For Soundtrack Though.

23. King Kong (2005)

PG-13 | 187 min | Action, Adventure, Drama

81 Metascore

A greedy film producer assembles a team of moviemakers and sets out for the infamous Skull Island, where they find more than just cannibalistic natives.

Director: Peter Jackson | Stars: Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrien Brody, Thomas Kretschmann

Votes: 381,542 | Gross: $218.08M

This Goes For Everyone Of Them Except The Original, It Was A Decent Movie For The Time, With A Nice Story, But Every Re-Make Has Been Worse Than The Last...

24. The Descent (2005)

R | 99 min | Adventure, Horror, Thriller

71 Metascore

A caving expedition goes horribly wrong, as the explorers become trapped and ultimately pursued by a strange breed of predators.

Director: Neil Marshall | Stars: Shauna Macdonald, Natalie Mendoza, Alex Reid, Saskia Mulder

Votes: 194,796 | Gross: $26.02M

I Don't Even Remember Why I Watched It, But I Can Think Of 98 Reasons Why You Shouldn't...

25. Tooth Fairy (I) (2010)

PG | 101 min | Comedy, Family, Fantasy

36 Metascore

A bad deed on the part of a tough minor-league hockey player results in an unusual sentence: He must serve one week as a real-life tooth fairy.

Director: Michael Lembeck | Stars: Dwayne Johnson, Ashley Judd, Julie Andrews, Stephen Merchant

Votes: 40,688 | Gross: $60.02M

Anybody Who Let's Their Kids Watch This One Should Be Brought Up On Charges Of Child Abuse...

26. Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003)

PG-13 | 85 min | Comedy

19 Metascore

Set back in the 80s when Harry met Lloyd in high school where they cross paths with a mean principal and a bunch of other outcasts much like themselves.

Director: Troy Miller | Stars: Derek Richardson, Eric Christian Olsen, Eugene Levy, Timothy Stack

Votes: 36,529 | Gross: $26.28M

Genocide Is More Amusing...

27. Hostel (2005)

R | 94 min | Horror

55 Metascore

Three backpackers head to a Slovak city that promises to meet their hedonistic expectations, with no idea of the hell that awaits them.

Director: Eli Roth | Stars: Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson, Eythor Gudjonsson, Barbara Nedeljakova

Votes: 165,372 | Gross: $47.33M

The Only Thing People Had To Rave About Was A 1 Second Scene Where A Girl Gets Her Optic Nerve Cut, I've Seen Worse Things Than That On T.V. Guide...

28. Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

R | 97 min | Action, Horror

37 Metascore

Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees return to terrorize the teenage population. Except this time, they're out to get each other, too.

Director: Ronny Yu | Stars: Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Kelly Rowland, Monica Keena

Votes: 107,679 | Gross: $82.62M

Apparently Both Series Writers Ran Out Of Ideas (Assuming They Had Any In The First Place), Until Some Brown-Noser Blurted Out The Infamous Idea Of A "Colossal Battle" Between The Two Giants Of Crap Horror Movies. Call Me Jason Fights Leather-Face, 'Cause He Could Beat Freddy With His Eyes Closed...

29. Vampires Suck (2010)

PG-13 | 82 min | Comedy

18 Metascore

A spoof of vampire-themed movies. Teenager, Becca finds herself torn between 2 boys. As she and her friends wrestle with a number of different dramas, everything comes to a head at their prom.

Directors: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer | Stars: Jenn Proske, Matt Lanter, Diedrich Bader, Chris Riggi

Votes: 45,662 | Gross: $36.66M

I Know Spoof Movies Are Supposed To Be Stupid, But Come On...

30. Deathwatch (2002)

R | 94 min | Drama, Horror, War

In the middle of World War I, nine British soldiers caught behind enemy lines seek refuge in a complex network of German trenches. What they soon discover is that they aren't alone - and it isn't a German soldier that's hunting them down.

Director: M.J. Bassett | Stars: Jamie Bell, Rúaidhrí Conroy, Mike Downey, Laurence Fox

Votes: 10,428

The Movie Was So Low Budget, That The Producers And I Both Discovered Fake Barbed Wire Is More Expensive That The Real Stuff, And I'm Sure The Actors Found Out The Hard Way As Well...

31. Dracula 2000 (2000)

R | 99 min | Action, Fantasy, Horror

26 Metascore

A group of thieves breaks into a chamber expecting to find paintings, but instead they release the count himself, who travels to New Orleans to find his nemesis' daughter, Mary Van Helsing.

Director: Patrick Lussier | Stars: Gerard Butler, Justine Waddell, Jonny Lee Miller, Christopher Plummer

Votes: 31,390 | Gross: $33.02M

This One 'Sucked'...

32. Diary of the Dead (2007)

R | 95 min | Fantasy, Horror, Sci-Fi

66 Metascore

A group of young film students run into real-life zombies while filming a horror movie of their own.

Director: George A. Romero | Stars: Michelle Morgan, Joshua Close, Shawn Roberts, Todd Schroeder

Votes: 45,230 | Gross: $0.96M

Either George A. Romero Is Losing His Touch, Or The Walking Dead Raised My Standards Too High.

33. 15 Minutes (2001)

R | 120 min | Action, Crime, Drama

34 Metascore

A homicide detective and a fire marshal must stop a pair of murderers who commit videotaped crimes to become media darlings.

Director: John Herzfeld | Stars: Robert De Niro, Edward Burns, Kelsey Grammer, Avery Brooks

Votes: 47,637 | Gross: $24.40M

A Fire Martial?

34. Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny (2006)

R | 93 min | Adventure, Comedy, Music

55 Metascore

To become the greatest band of all time, two slacker, wannabe-rockers set out on a quest to steal a legendary guitar pick that gives its holders incredible guitar skills, from a maximum security Rock and Roll museum.

Director: Liam Lynch | Stars: Jack Black, Kyle Gass, JR Reed, Ronnie James Dio

Votes: 99,672 | Gross: $8.32M

Like The Band, Like Jack Black, Hell... I Even Liked The Game, But What The F/ck Was This?

35. We Own the Night (2007)

R | 117 min | Crime, Drama, Thriller

59 Metascore

A New York City nightclub manager tries to save his brother and father from Russian Mafia hitmen.

Director: James Gray | Stars: Joaquin Phoenix, Mark Wahlberg, Eva Mendes, Danny Hoch

Votes: 83,199 | Gross: $28.56M

I'll Admit, I Got My Money's Worth In The First 5 Minutes, But Just Shut It Off After That... Your Not Going To Miss Anything Special.

36. Formula 51 (2001)

R | 93 min | Action, Comedy, Crime

23 Metascore

An American master chemist plans to score big on a once in a lifetime drug deal. All does not go as planned and he is soon entangled in a web of deceit.

Director: Ronny Yu | Stars: Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Carlyle, Emily Mortimer, Nigel Whitmey

Votes: 47,034 | Gross: $5.20M

It's So Bad Even IMDB Couldn't Say It's Name...

37. 3000 Miles to Graceland (2001)

R | 125 min | Action, Comedy, Crime

21 Metascore

A gang of ex-cons rob a casino during Elvis convention week.

Director: Demian Lichtenstein | Stars: Kurt Russell, Kevin Costner, Courteney Cox, Christian Slater

Votes: 42,962 | Gross: $15.74M

Trust Me, You'll Get More Fun Out Of Cutting Off Your Own Nipples (Just Like That Guy From Crank 2)

38. The Family Man (2000)

PG-13 | 125 min | Comedy, Drama, Fantasy

42 Metascore

A fast-lane investment broker, offered the opportunity to see how the other half lives, wakes up to find that his sports car and girlfriend have become a mini-van and wife.

Director: Brett Ratner | Stars: Nicolas Cage, Téa Leoni, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Piven

Votes: 100,545 | Gross: $75.79M

Someone Once Said That Nicolas Cage Either Does Masterpieces Or Flops. This Was A Flop...

39. What Dreams May Come (1998)

PG-13 | 113 min | Drama, Fantasy, Romance

44 Metascore

Chris Nielsen dies in an accident, and enters Heaven. But when he discovers that his beloved wife Annie has killed herself out of grief over the loss, he embarks on an afterlife adventure to reunite with her.

Director: Vincent Ward | Stars: Robin Williams, Cuba Gooding Jr., Annabella Sciorra, Max von Sydow

Votes: 99,939 | Gross: $55.49M

It's Got Robin Williams, That Say's...

40. Popeye (1980)

PG | 114 min | Adventure, Comedy, Family

64 Metascore

The adventures of the famous sailor man and his friends in the seaside town of Sweethaven.

Director: Robert Altman | Stars: Robin Williams, Shelley Duvall, Ray Walston, Paul Dooley

Votes: 28,527 | Gross: $49.82M

...It All Right There

41. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

PG-13 | 120 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

94 Metascore

A young Chinese warrior steals a sword from a famed swordsman and then escapes into a world of romantic adventure with a mysterious man in the frontier of the nation.

Director: Ang Lee | Stars: Yun-Fat Chow, Michelle Yeoh, Ziyi Zhang, Chen Chang

Votes: 247,901 | Gross: $128.08M

I Like Martial Arts Movies As Much As The Next Person, So If Your One Of Those Don't Even Start, It Sucked PERIOD

42. Taxi (I) (2004)

PG-13 | 97 min | Action, Comedy, Crime

27 Metascore

A mouthy and feisty taxicab driver has hot tips for a green and inept cop set on solving a string of New York City bank robberies committed by a quartet of female Brazilian bank robbers.

Director: Tim Story | Stars: Queen Latifah, Jimmy Fallon, Gisele Bündchen, Henry Simmons

Votes: 39,250 | Gross: $36.61M

...

43. Powder (1995)

PG-13 | 111 min | Drama, Fantasy, Mystery

An off the charts genius who is home schooled and shunned after his last relative dies shows the unconscious residents of his town about connection awareness and the generosity of the spirit.

Director: Victor Salva | Stars: Mary Steenburgen, Sean Patrick Flanery, Lance Henriksen, Jeff Goldblum

Votes: 27,901 | Gross: $30.86M

1 Of 2 Reasons I Almost Dropped Out Of School Indefinitely (It's The Only Place Cruel Enough To Make You Watch This)

44. The Clan of the Cave Bear (1986)

R | 98 min | Adventure, Drama, Fantasy

34 Metascore

A young Cro-Magnon woman is raised by Neanderthals.

Director: Michael Chapman | Stars: Daryl Hannah, Pamela Reed, James Remar, Thomas G. Waites

Votes: 5,921 | Gross: $1.95M

2 Of 2 Reasons I Almost Dropped Out Of School Indefinitely (It's The Only Place Cruel Enough To Make You Watch This)

45. The Life of David Gale (2003)

R | 130 min | Crime, Drama, Thriller

31 Metascore

A man against capital punishment is accused of murdering a fellow activist and is sent to death row.

Director: Alan Parker | Stars: Kevin Spacey, Kate Winslet, Laura Linney, Cleo King

Votes: 105,725 | Gross: $19.59M

Total S/it

46. The Gods Must Be Crazy II (1989)

PG | 98 min | Comedy

6.9