FAIL movies I watched in 2012
As the title says...
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- DirectorTi WestStarsJocelin DonahueTom NoonanMary WoronovIn 1983, financially struggling college student Samantha Hughes takes a strange babysitting job that coincides with a full lunar eclipse. She slowly realizes her clients harbor a terrifying secret, putting her life in mortal danger.A good effort, some tense moments, but ultimately disappointing
- DirectorDario ArgentoStarsLeigh McCloskeyIrene MiracleEleonora GiorgiAn American student investigates the disappearance of his sister and the death of a friend, both connected from New York to Rome by an old alchemy book.Seriously....??
- DirectorPaul LynchStarsLeslie NielsenJamie Lee CurtisCasey StevensAt a high-school senior prom, a masked killer stalks four teenagers who were responsible for the accidental death of a classmate six years previously.Saw this YEARS ago for the first time, now I saw it again. What a snoozefest....
- DirectorRon OliverPeter R. SimpsonStarsTim ConlonCynthia PrestonDavid StrattonThe malevolent spirit of Mary Lou Maloney returns to Hamilton High, where she manipulates a naive male student into helping her wreak havoc on the school.Just....no.
- DirectorClay BorrisStarsNicole de BoerJ.H. WymanJoy TannerFour students ditch their high school prom for a party at a summer home, unaware that a psychotic priest is on the loose, determined to punish sinners.Getting mad now....
- DirectorCharles GuardThomas GuardStarsEmily BrowningArielle KebbelElizabeth BanksAnna returns home after a stint in a mental hospital, but her recovery is jeopardized by her father's new girlfriend and ghastly visions of her dead mother.What a load of bulls....!!
Way to go for Hollywood to mess up a remake of A Tale Of Two Sisters, by removing EVERYTHING that made the original so good! - DirectorJim MickleStarsNick DamiciKim BlairRon BriceA deadly infection breaks out in Manhattan, causing humans to develop into blood-thirsty rat creatures.Well-made, a nice concept, but a little flat execution.
- DirectorDavid WainStarsJaneane GarofaloDavid Hyde PierceMichael ShowalterSet on the last day of camp, in the hot summer of 1981, a group of counselors try to complete their unfinished business before the day ends.Apart from the guy on guy action involving Bradley Cooper, there's nothing to see here.
- DirectorMichel GondryStarsJack BlackYasiin BeyDanny GloverTwo bumbling store clerks inadvertently erase the footage from all of the tapes in their video rental store. In order to keep the business running, they re-shoot every film in the store with their own camera, with a budget of zero dollars.Good premise, bad execution.
- DirectorPaul FeigStarsKristen WiigMaya RudolphRose ByrneCompetition between the maid of honor and a bridesmaid, over who is the bride's best friend, threatens to upend the life of an out-of-work pastry chef.Doesn't live up to the hype.
- DirectorDon SharpStarsBrian DonlevyGeorge BakerCarole GrayMotorist Martin Delambre attempts to keep evidence of his family's bizarre experiments in teleportation hidden from his wife, who is hiding secrets of her own.The worst of the old Fly movies.
- DirectorDanny PangOxide Chun PangStarsRainie YangElanne KongShawn YueA group of friends finds themselves stranded in an old hotel. As they uncover the history beneath the walls, they're slowly drawn into its sinister past, making it harder to get out alive.A tad better then The Eye 10/The Eye 3/Eye: Infinity, but still just meh.
- DirectorDanny BoyleStarsJames FrancoAmber TamblynKate MaraA mountain climber becomes trapped under a boulder while canyoneering alone near Moab, Utah and resorts to desperate measures in order to survive.Sorry, but this really bored and annoyed me.
- DirectorFruit ChanStarsBai LingMiriam Chin-Wah YeungSum-Yeung WongAunt Mei's famous homemade dumplings provide amazing age-defying qualities popular with middle-aged women. But her latest customer - a fading actress - is determined to find out what the secret ingredient is.Actually, the shortened version seen in Three: Extremes is better.
- DirectorJon FavreauStarsDaniel CraigHarrison FordOlivia WildeA spaceship arrives in 1873 Arizona to take over the Earth, starting with the Wild West region. All that stands in their way: a posse of cowboys and natives.Didn't expect more than a few laughs, but it wasn't even so bad it's good.
Really boring. - DirectorColin MinihanStuart OrtizThe Vicious BrothersStarsBenjamin WilkinsonSean RogersonAshleigh GryzkoFor their ghost hunting reality show, a production crew locks themselves inside an abandoned mental hospital that's supposedly haunted - and it might prove to be all too true.Hmm, I don't know? It had some good shocks and was rather creepy in some places, but I don't think it fully delivered. Some places the effects were too Adobe After Effect-ish and especially one scene almost ruined it for me, in that, they'd found too much inspiration in a fake youtube video.
- DirectorToby WilkinsStarsShea WhighamJill WagnerPaulo CostanzoTrapped in an isolated gas station by a voracious Splinter parasite that transforms its still-living victims into deadly hosts, a young couple and an escaped convict must find a way to work together to survive this primal terror.Rather boring and unoriginal. The monster may be kinda new, the rest, not so much.
- DirectorCatherine HardwickeStarsKristen StewartRobert PattinsonBilly BurkeWhen Bella Swan moves to a small town in the Pacific Northwest, she falls in love with Edward Cullen, a mysterious classmate who reveals himself to be a 108-year-old vampire.If you like it, be ashamed of yourself. Be VERY ashamed.
- DirectorChris WeitzStarsKristen StewartRobert PattinsonTaylor LautnerAfter Edward leaves because of an incident involving Bella, Jacob Black becomes her best friend. But what Bella doesn't realize is that Jacob also has a secret that will change their lives suddenly.If you like it, be ashamed of yourself. Be VERY ashamed.
- DirectorPhil ClaydonStarsPaul McGannJames CordenMyAnna BuringTheir women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires thanks to an ancient curse, the remaining menfolk of a rural town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice.Not as screwed up as it could have been
- DirectorDavid GregoryStarsJosslyn DeCrostaErica RhodesDavid LombardAn American family visiting their Irish roots accidentally stumbles on a horde of bloodthirsty mutant children.Oh my, where to begin?? Skip it.
- DirectorMatthew ParkhillStarsRachelle LefevreStephen MoyerLorna RaverA young divorcee is getting her life back together by moving into an apartment. But what will she do when a strange person repeatedly calls her, and threatens to change her new life around?Disappointed. Good premise but meh. Too little of Lorna Raver!
- DirectorBen WheatleyStarsNeil MaskellMyAnna BuringHarry SimpsonNearly a year after a botched job, a hitman takes a new assignment with the promise of a big payoff for three killings. What starts off as an easy task soon unravels, sending the killer into the heart of darkness.This is the big horror hit?? Nah...
- DirectorDon CoscarelliStarsA. Michael BaldwinBill ThornburyReggie BannisterNewly orphaned teenager Mike Pearson, his older brother Jody, and their friends face off against a mysterious grave robber known as the Tall Man, who employs a lethal arsenal of unearthly weapons in their southern California town.Just no.
- DirectorKim Jee-woonStarsLee Byung-hunChoi Min-sikJeon Gook-hwanA secret agent exacts revenge on a serial killer through a series of captures and releases.Really not that good. There was some nice gore scenes, but a lot of stuff just didn't make sense, which killed it for me.