Larry Davids Seinfeld Scripts
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- DirectorArt WolffStarsJerry SeinfeldMichael RichardsLee GarlingtonJerry and George argue whether an overnight visitor Jerry is expecting is coming with romantic intentions.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry and George stake out the lobby of an office building to find a woman Jerry met at a party but whose name and phone number he didn't get.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry tries various excuses to avoid meeting with an old friend with whom he no longer shares any interests.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry becomes apprehensive when he and George buy stock and the price falls while the person who suggested the stock is in hospital and can't tell them when to sell.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsAfter George breaks up with his girlfriend, Jerry decides that he wants to see her.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry fears that an inappropriate comment he made at a dinner party caused his relative's subsequent death.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry wears an expensive jacket when he meets Elaine's father, but an argument ensues when Jerry is reluctant to wear it outside during a snowfall.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsGeorge leaves several awkward messages on a girlfriend's answering machine, then decides to steal the tape.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsWhen an apartment becomes available in Jerry's building, he helps Elaine get it, only to regret his decision to do so. George starts wearing a wedding ring because he's heard that it helps single guys pick up women.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsGeorge takes revenge on his boss for not hiring him back after he quit and was rude to him, and Jerry and Kramer take revenge on a dry cleaner after Jerry accuses him of stealing $1,500 from his laundry bag.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry and Elaine believe that they have found a foolproof way to start having sex again yet still remain just friends, but they quickly start encountering problems.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry, Elaine and George stop for a quick Chinese dinner before seeing "Plan 9 From Outer Space," but circumstances at the eatery make them miss the movie.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsGeorge tries to apologize to a busboy after one of his comments got him fired, but he only makes things worse. Elaine tries to get one of her male friends out of her house.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsPhysical therapy proves painful for Jerry when his small talk with the therapist leads to a misunderstanding; Jerry uses a dentist note to cover his therapy.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry and Elaine travel to Florida for a dinner in honor of his father. Jerry gets into an argument with a neighbor of his parents over an "astronaut pen."
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry is forced to care for the disobedient dog of a man he met on a plane.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsThe four friends go shopping at the mall and get lost for hours in the parking garage when they forget where they parked their car.
- DirectorDavid SteinbergStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsGeorge orders hair growing cream from China. Jerry is mesmerized by a dirty message left on a tape recorder from his last performance. George becomes infatuated with Elaine.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry and Elaine join George for a special party, where they send signals to each other to get out of bad party conversations; George had an office romance.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry's car is stolen. Elaine dates an older man. Kramer gets a small role in a Woody Allen movie filmed on his and Jerry's block. George must deal with the commotion of the movie filming as he gets a job parking cars on the block.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsGeorge gets a job at Elaine's office and gets involved with the cleaning woman. Elaine's boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic who falls off the wagon because of Jerry's carelessness. George buys Elaine a marked-down cashmere sweater.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry's Pez dispenser makes Elaine laugh during George's girlfriend's piano recital and puts their relationship in jeopardy; Kramer joins the Polar Bear Club.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsElaine and Keith are hitting it off until he pulls out a cigarette; Keith wants Jerry to help him move, leading Jerry along with Elaine to breakup with Keith.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry learns that his new artist friend, from whom George has been forced to buy a painting, plagiarized a letter to keep him from breaking up with her. Elaine refuses to remove her Baltimore Orioles cap during a New York Yankees game.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsGeorge becomes trapped in a battle of wills over the rightful ownership of a parking space.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsNBC executives ask Jerry to come up with an idea for a TV series. George decides he can be a sitcom writer and comes up with "nothing." Kramer trades a radar detector for a helmet, and later Newman receives a speeding ticket.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsNewman uses Kramer as his witness when the former refuses to pay for a speeding ticket.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry is asked to explain to his parents why he does not wear the watch they gave him. Morty Seinfeld thinks his wallet has been stolen from him at his doctor's appointment.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry tries to buy his watch back from Uncle Leo, who found it in the garbage, having been thrown there by Jerry. George tries to resurrect the fledgling NBC deal, while Elaine plans a break up from her psychotherapist with Kramer's help.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsOn their way to the family cabin, George and Susan visit a boy who lives in a bubble; Kramer and Naomi start a fire that ends up burning down the cabin.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry offends Elaine's assistant. Kramer makes a contact for Cuban cigars. A box of letters from John Cheever is all that remains after Susan's father's cabin burns down.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsGeorge's mother throws her back out when she falls down after catching George performing a personal act; the gang partakes in a contest of self-denial.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsGeorge has decided he's made a terrible mistake in breaking up with Susan. He moans and groans and is generally driving everybody crazy. Against everyone's advice he decides to tell her he made a mistake . No sooner are they back together than he decides he's the one who made the mistake. Elaine decides to put her picture on her Christmas cards and Kramer agrees to be the photographer. Only problem is that she exposes just a little too much of herself. Jerry meanwhile is dating the model he recently met on a flight and things seem to be going nicely....until she sees him picking his nose, or so she thinks at any rate.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsElaine can't seem to figure out why her shoes are a subject of conversation. Jerry and George pitch their pilot to NBC, but the deal is nearly jinxed when George takes a peek at the cleavage of the NBC president's daughter.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsAfter dinner, Jerry gets his car back from the valet. He and Elaine get in the car and realize that the valet has really bad B.O.. Jerry goes to great lengths to get the smell out of his car while Elaine goes to great lengths to get the smell out of her hair. Jerry soon realizes that the smell isn't just a mere odor, but an entity unto itself, and finally decides that he has to get rid of his car. Meanwhile, George gets reacquainted with Susan and discovers that he drove her to lesbianism, and Kramer dates Susan's girlfriend.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsAt Kramer's insistence, George parks his Dad's car in a handicap spot. After a woman is injured because of it, George becomes his Dad's butler while Kramer tries to help the woman.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael Richards"Jerry," the television pilot, gets cast and finally airs. Elaine tries to discourage Dalrymple's romantic pursuit.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsElaine makes a startling confession.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsKramer and his soft-spoken friend Leslie start a new line of clothing and Jerry accidentally agrees to wear it on the Today show.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsThe gang gets suspicious of their accountant.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsKramer invests in a new non-fat yogurt store.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsEn route to a dinner party, Jerry and Elaine stop off at a bakery and get held up when the bakery runs out of what they want to purchase. Meanwhile, George and Kramer, en route to said dinner party, stop off at a liquor store to buy a bottle of wine and have a hard time picking one out.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsKramer gets a job with Mickey as a TV stand-in. Jerry sets Elaine up with a guy who he says would be perfect for her. At the end of their first date he takes "it" out.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry and his latest girlfriend finally get alone time when they go on a date to see "Schindler's List," where Newman oversees them making out.
- DirectorTom CheronesStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsGeorge decides to turn his life around by doing the exact opposite of what he would usually do. Elaine is having a lot of bad luck. Jerry keeps breaking even. Kramer gets the coffee table book published.
- DirectorAndy AckermanStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry dates a Miss America contestant. Kramer tags along.
- DirectorAndy AckermanStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsGeorge gets upset when he buys a large salad for Elaine but his girlfriend Julie gets the thanks for it. Elaine can't believe that he raises the subject with her and gets back to Julie, which doesn't bode well with George. Jerry reassesses his feelings for his new girlfriend when he learns that she went out with Newman--and he dumped her. Kramer gets into an argument with his golfing partner, a former baseball player, who later loses his temper and is sought by the police. Kramer, sure that he caused it all, rushes to his buddy's aid.
- DirectorAndy AckermanStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry's new couch is completely ruined when Elaine upsets a man with a bladder condition. Kramer decides to start up his own new pizza business. George joins a book club but instead of reading the book he watches the movie.
- DirectorAndy AckermanStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsA grade school acquaintance puts pressure on Jerry to finally settle an old score in the form of a race; Elaine is blacklisted from a Chinese restaurant.
- DirectorAndy AckermanStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsGeorge gets in an argument regarding a cancellation policy. Jerry and Elaine try to use Kramer's bluntness to deliver some much needed fashion advice.
- DirectorAndy AckermanStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry, Elaine, Kramer, and David Puddy go to two Stanley Cup playoff games; Kramer holds a grudge against a chimpanzee who hit him with a banana peel; George resolves to take the dramatic step of telling his girlfriend he loves her.
- DirectorAndy AckermanStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsJerry and George vow to turn their lives around. Elaine enlist Kramer's help with a noisy dog.
- DirectorAndy AckermanStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsGeorge gets cold feet and tries everything he can to postpone the wedding; Elaine is jealous of George's engagement; Kramer spills hot coffee on himself.
- DirectorAndy AckermanStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsElaine's latest boyfriend likes to be known as "The Maestro"; Kramer reaches an unsatisfactory settlement with the coffee company, much to his lawyer's chagrin.
- DirectorAndy AckermanStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsIn this hour-long episode, Jerry performs the biggest show of his life in Atlantic City. He receives a rather generous pay check for the event, and decides to buy his father a Cadillac. Unfortunately, doing so puts Morty in the hot seat with the condo board of directors, where he serves as president. Morty is accused of stealing money from the board, and ultimately gets removed from his post as president and kicked out of the condo. Meanwhile, thanks to Elaine, George can score a date with "My Cousin Vinny" star Marisa Tomei but Elaine objects because of George's engagement with Susan. Kramer turns the tables on the cable company when they want to disconnect his service.
- DirectorAndy AckermanStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsIt's finally time for George and Susan's wedding. George doesn't think he can go through with the wedding. But when Susan puts George in charge of the wedding invitations, George gets the cheapest ones in the lot, knowing that the glue for the envelopes is cheap. Unfortunately for Susan, the glue is also toxic and licking the envelopes has fatal consequences. Meanwhile, Jerry courts a woman just like him named Jeannie Steinman and holds up his end of George's "pact" (see episode "The Engagement").
- DirectorAndy AckermanStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsAfter George and Jerry land a production deal with NBC, the four head out for Paris on NBC's private plane and are waylaid in a small Massachusetts town.