Worst films I have seen
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- DirectorScott P. LevyStarsTom WilsonKarim PrinceM. Emmet WalshSpoof of recent science fiction films including all of the obvious choices and "Dr. Strangelove" finds two garbage men defeating an alien invasion.This may be the worst film I have seen in my life. It's definitely the worst comedy, so this means unlike films like The Room and Showgirls, this isn't funny at all, so there's no entertainment value there. It was probably aimed at kids anyway but that's no excuse for how pathetically dumb and unfunny this "comedy" is.
- DirectorDavid WainStarsPaul RuddJessica AlbaWinona Ryder10 stories, each inspired by one of the 10 Commandments.Terrible collection of unfunny, amateurish comedy sketches, only one of them raised a laugh from me thanks to Rob Corddry. Quite a few good and well known actors are in it but they are all wasted.
- DirectorVal GuestKen HughesJohn HustonStarsDavid NivenPeter SellersUrsula AndressIn an early spy spoof, aging Sir James Bond comes out of retirement to take on SMERSH.The greatest cast that was ever totally wasted. Incoherent and unfunny.
- DirectorTommy WiseauStarsTommy WiseauJuliette DanielleGreg SesteroIn San Francisco, an amiable banker's seemingly perfect life is turned upside down when his deceitful fiancée embarks on an affair with his best friend.Terrible, terrible, terrible, but so, so funny.
- DirectorMartin BrestStarsBen AffleckJennifer LopezJustin BarthaLarry Gigli is assigned by a crime boss to kidnap the brother of a prominent district attorney. A beautiful woman known only as Ricki is sent to stay with him to make sure he doesn't mess up the job.
- DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsElizabeth BerkleyKyle MacLachlanGina GershonA mysterious young drifter who calls herself Nomi Malone hitches a ride to Las Vegas, Nevada, and begins working as a strip club dancer, and sets about clawing her way to the top of the Vegas showgirls.
- DirectorBrian RobbinsStarsKel MitchellKenan ThompsonSinbadA dim-witted teenager and his new coworker try to save the old burger joint they work for from failing after the opening of a brand new burger restaurant across the street, which's planning to put them out of business.
- DirectorDavid GreenStarsJulie WaltersIan CharlesonVincent RiottaIn the throes of a midlife crisis, a man buys a new Jaguar, and it immediately becomes his new love. What he doesn't know is that his wife is as attracted to the Jaguar salesman as he is to the car.Dreadful, only good thing in it is the Jaguar E-Type.
- DirectorDavid KelloggStarsMatthew BroderickRupert EverettJoely FisherA security guard's dreams come true when he is selected to be transformed into a cybernetic police officer.I foolishly watched out of nostalgia for the 80s cartoon, but this is not only an insult to that but also to the intelligence of even its target audience. Stupid, annoying slapstick crap.
- DirectorSeth KearsleyStarsAdam SandlerRob SchneiderJackie SandlerDavey Stone, an alcoholic with a criminal record, is sentenced to community service under the supervision of an elderly referee. Davey is then faced with trying to reform and abandon his bad habits.The most retarded Adam Sandler film, and that's saying something.
- DirectorBarry SonnenfeldStarsWill SmithKevin KlineKenneth BranaghThe two best special agents in the Wild West must save President Grant from the clutches of a diabolical, wheelchair-bound, steampunk-savvy, Confederate scientist bent on revenge for losing the Civil War.Bad, bad blockbuster (see what I did there?) that broke Will Smith's streak of hits in 90s.
- DirectorHerbert RossStarsSteve MartinRick MoranisJoan CusackAn all too uptight FBI agent must protect a larger than life mobster with a heart of gold, currently under witness protection in the suburbs.Probably Steve Martin's worst ever performance. Supposedly based on Henry Hill of Goodfellas fame but while Goodfellas gets a firm 10 out of 10 from me, this gets a 1.
- DirectorStacy CochranStarsWinona RyderLukas HaasJohn C. Reilly25 y.o. Patty is thrown off her horse and knocked out. Students from a boys' boarding school find her and smuggle her to John's room at the school as cops are looking for her at home.Poor excuse for a film that Winona Ryder sleepwalks through in a state of delirium.
- DirectorJohn MooreStarsGene HackmanOwen WilsonGabriel MachtA disillusioned pilot shot down over war-torn Bosnia goes on the run from the local military and an assassin, as his commanding officer risks all to save him.
- DirectorMichael BayStarsBen AffleckKate BeckinsaleJosh HartnettA tale of war and romance mixed in with history. The story follows two lifelong friends and a beautiful nurse who are caught up in the horror of an infamous Sunday morning in 1941.If you want to watch a good film about Pearl Harbour, watch Tora! Tora! Tora! not this cartoonish rubbish.
- DirectorMike MitchellStarsBen AffleckChristina ApplegateJames GandolfiniA lonely, obnoxious young millionaire pays a family to spend Christmas with him.
- DirectorRoland EmmerichStarsMatthew BroderickJean RenoMaria PitilloFrench nuclear tests irradiate an iguana into a giant monster that heads off to New York City. The American military must chase the monster across the city to stop it before it reproduces.Even at 13 I knew this was crap.
- DirectorDewey NicksStarsDevon SawaRobert B. Martin Jr.Jason SegelWhen geeky Ethan discovers three fellow students scamming the examination system, he blackmails them to win over the college's most popular girl.Jason Schwartzman (who seemed so promising in Rushmore) gives a dreadfully misjudged "comic" performance resulting in one of the most abominable characters since Blue Velvet's Frank Booth.
- DirectorRicky GervaisMatthew RobinsonStarsRicky GervaisJennifer GarnerJonah HillA comedy set in a world where no one has ever lied, until a writer seizes the opportunity for personal gain.A world where lying didn't exist would look nothing like this one.
- DirectorJames McTeigueStarsHugo WeavingNatalie PortmanRupert GravesIn a future British dystopian society, a shadowy freedom fighter, known only by the alias of "V", plots to overthrow the tyrannical government - with the help of a young woman.The most disappointing cinema experience I've had. The script is cringeworthy, the direction is crap, most of the acting is bad and the "cool" anarchist hero is like a gay Batman villain. How do so many people not seem to see how bad this film is? (it's on the IMDB Top 250!)
- DirectorRobert IscoveStarsFreddie Prinze Jr.Rachael Leigh CookMatthew LillardA high school jock makes a bet that he can turn an unattractive girl into the school's prom queen.Gahh... Freddie Prinze Jr is truly one of the worst actors ever. This is also one of those annoying American high school movies where the kids drive brand-new bloody Porsches and BMWs (I hope that's not really true over there)
- DirectorChris RobertsStarsFreddie Prinze Jr.Matthew LillardSaffron BurrowsBlair, a fighter pilot, joins an interstellar war to fight the evil Kilrathi who are trying to destroy the universe.I was a big fan of the computer games (which have so much FMV they're like movies in themselves) but this was such a letdown. Freddie Prinze Jr replaces Mark Hamill as Blair, which as Empire magazine once wrote, is like replacing a Porsche with a Sinclair C5. If you edited together the FMV from the WC3 or 4 games (in fact people on the internet have done this) you'd end up with a better excuse for a movie than this.
- DirectorMatthew RobbinsStarsCindy WilliamsDavid RascheRobert J. Steinmiller Jr.A runaway circus dog befriends a young boy who has trouble fitting in with his friends.Another film I ended up seeing up seeing during my little sister's doggie obsession when we were kids. It's pretty crude for a family film.
- DirectorRichard CurtisStarsHugh GrantMartine McCutcheonLiam NeesonFollows the lives of eight very different couples in dealing with their love lives in various loosely interrelated tales all set during a frantic month before Christmas in London, England.Worst Richard Curtis film by far.
- DirectorRand RavichStarsCharlize TheronJohnny DeppJoe MortonAfter an explosion in space and subsequent two-minute radio-out period, two astronauts return home to their wives. Slightly it's revealed that they're not the same as they were.Probably Johnny Depp's worst film (though I haven't seen The Tourist yet)
- DirectorTinto BrassStarsMalcolm McDowellPeter O'TooleHelen MirrenA dramatization of the ascent to Caesar and subsequent reign of Caligula, one of the most notorious leaders of ancient Rome. We see his ambition, his scheming, his perversion and decadence, his brutality and his lunacy.Have to admit this wasn't quite as unwatchable as I thought it was going to be, but that's only because this has one of the worst reputations ever, it's still a mess.
- DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerGeorge ClooneyChris O'DonnellBatman and Robin try to keep their relationship together even as they must stop Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from freezing Gotham City.
- DirectorRoger ChristianStarsJohn TravoltaForest WhitakerBarry PepperIt's the year 3000 A.D., and the Earth is lost to the alien race of Psychlos. Humanity is enslaved by these gold-thirsty tyrants, who are unaware that their 'man-animals' are about to ignite the rebellion of a lifetime.
- DirectorSteven E. de SouzaStarsJean-Claude Van DammeRaul JuliaMing-Na WenIn the midst of a civil war in South East Asia, a general intensifies the climate of violence by kidnapping 63 UN delegates. To free the hostages, a colonel leads a group of fighters, who will have to use all their skills to be successful.