2009 : les pires films de l'année !
Le plus mauvais cinéma de l'année 2009 : mauvais, très mauvais films et navets. Le pire du cinéma mondial (parmi les longs-métrages de fiction sortis durant cette période) à éviter, à déconseiller ou à la limite à voir une seule fois, mais pas dans une salle de cinéma : ça ne vaut pas le prix d'une place ou de tout autres moyens payants de voir ces films (DVD, Blu-ray, 4K, VOD, SVOD). Remarques : possible présence de nanars (mauvais films sympathiques) ou de "plaisirs coupables". Cette liste rassemble des films sortis au cinéma à l'exception éventuelle de téléfilms ou de films sortis directement en vidéo (DTV) (liste de films non-classés).
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- DirectorJames WongStarsJustin ChatwinJames MarstersChow Yun-FatThe young warrior Son Goku sets out on a quest, racing against time and the vengeful King Piccolo, to collect a set of seven magical orbs that will grant their wielder unlimited power.
- DirectorYann MoixStarsFranck DuboscLucy GordonPierre-François Martin-LavalA maths teacher acquires the power to travel into movies to save the woman of his dreams and bring her back to her correct film.
- DirectorChris FisherStarsDaveigh ChaseBriana EviganJames LaffertyDonnie Darko's little sister Samantha and her best friend Corey are on a cross-country road trip, but soon find themselves entangled in a dangerous glitch in the time-space continuum.
- DirectorGad ElmalehStarsGad ElmalehPascale ArbillotJean BenguiguiA well-liked self-made man becomes a royal pain when he learns he has a heart defect.
- DirectorAndrzej BartkowiakStarsKristin KreukNeal McDonoughMichael Clarke DuncanWhen a child, Chun-Li sees her father being captured by wealthy gangster Bison. When she grows up, she goes into a quest for justice and bring down the criminal organization Shadaloo which is led by Bison.
- DirectorClaude BerriFrançois DupeyronStarsAlain ChabatMathilde SeignerFanny ArdantTo celebrate his wedding anniversary, Jean-Pierre buy her partner an English bulldog of 4 months "Trésor". Nathalie is delighted and engaged in a deep and loving relationship with the pet. But having a pet at home brings difficulties.
- DirectorCharles NemesStarsBruno SoloYvan Le Bolloc'hArmelleEmployees of the Geugène Electro Stim company and their manager come to Paris for a corporate seminar.
- DirectorBetty ThomasStarsJason LeeZachary LeviDavid CrossThe world-famous singing preteen chipmunk trio return to contend with the pressures of school, celebrity, and a rival female music group known as The Chipettes.
- DirectorChris WeitzStarsKristen StewartRobert PattinsonTaylor LautnerAfter Edward leaves because of an incident involving Bella, Jacob Black becomes her best friend. But what Bella doesn't realize is that Jacob also has a secret that will change their lives suddenly.
- DirectorToby WilkinsStarsMatthew KnightShawnee SmithMike StraubA young Japanese woman who holds the key to stopping the evil spirit of Kayako, travels to the haunted Chicago apartment from the sequel, to stop the curse of Kayako once and for all.
- DirectorFrédéric BertheStarsKad MeradMélanie DouteyManu PayetWhen Arthur's wife leaves him to get married in Miami, he immediately flies there to get her back.
- DirectorHoyt YeatmanStarsWill ArnettPenélope CruzZach GalifianakisA specially trained squad of guinea pigs is dispatched to stop a diabolical billionaire from taking over the world.
- DirectorDavid R. EllisStarsNick ZanoKrista AllenAndrew FiscellaA horrifying premonition saves a young man and his friends from death during a racetrack accident but terrible fates await them nonetheless.
- DirectorLuc BessonStarsFreddie HighmoreSelena GomezMia FarrowArthur answers a distress call from Princess Selenia, who is menaced by the nefarious Maltazard.
- DirectorMichael BayStarsShia LaBeoufMegan FoxJosh DuhamelSam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war.
- DirectorRob ZombieStarsScout Taylor-ComptonTyler ManeMalcolm McDowellLaurie Strode struggles to come to terms with her brother Michael's deadly return to Haddonfield, Illinois; meanwhile, Michael prepares for another reunion with his sister.
- DirectorMarcus NispelStarsJared PadaleckiAmanda RighettiDerek MearsA group of young adults visit a boarded up campsite named Crystal Lake where they soon encounter the mysterious Jason Voorhees and his deadly intentions.
- DirectorGavin HoodStarsHugh JackmanLiev SchreiberRyan ReynoldsThe early years of James Logan, featuring his rivalry with his brother Victor Creed, his service in the special forces team Weapon X, and his experimentation into the metal-lined mutant Wolverine.
- DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsHenry CavillDominic PurcellEmma BoothA man and his brother on a mission of revenge become trapped in a harrowing occult experiment dating back to the Third Reich.
- DirectorHarald ZwartStarsSteve MartinJean RenoEmily MortimerInsp. Jacques Clouseau teams up with a squad of International detectives who are just as bumbling as he is. Their mission: Stop a globe-trotting thief who specializes in stealing historical artifacts.
- DirectorBrandon CampStarsJennifer AnistonAaron EckhartDan FoglerA widower whose book about coping with loss turns him into a best-selling self-help guru, falls for the hotel florist where his seminar is given, only to learn that he hasn't yet truly confronted his wife's passing.
- DirectorRoland EmmerichStarsJohn CusackThandiwe NewtonChiwetel EjioforA frustrated writer struggles to keep his family alive when a series of global catastrophes threatens to annihilate mankind.
- DirectorStephen SommersStarsDennis QuaidChanning TatumMarlon WayansAn elite military unit comprised of special operatives known as G.I. Joe, operating out of The Pit, takes on an evil organization led by a notorious arms dealer.
- DirectorMark NeveldineBrian TaylorStarsGerard ButlerMichael C. HallLudacrisIn a future mind-controlling game, death row convicts are forced to battle in a 'Doom'-type environment. Convict Kable, controlled by Simon, a skilled teenage gamer, must survive thirty sessions in order to be set free.
- DirectorPeter HyamsStarsJesse MetcalfeAmber TamblynMichael DouglasRemake of the 1956 film noir film "Beyond a Reasonable Doubt" in which a writer's plan to expose a corrupt district attorney takes an unexpected turn.
- DirectorShawn LevyStarsBen StillerOwen WilsonAmy AdamsSecurity guard Larry Daley infiltrates the Smithsonian Institution in order to rescue Jedediah and Octavius, who have been shipped to the museum by mistake.
- DirectorOlivier DoranStarsJean-Paul RouveRichard BerryAnne MarivinMaximilien Chêne has big gambling losses; his disgusted wife tosses him out. A corporate client offers an impossible job: help the boss's nephew close a major deal without the nephew knowing he's being coached. If Max succeeds, he'll be paid enough to settle his debts. The nephew, Patrick, is a milquetoast, pushed around by staff, agreeable to a fault, and unable to express his interest in Vanessa, a colleague. How can he, in a week, learn the skills to negotiate with tough-minded Chinese? Max devises a strategy: he offers to help Patrick gain Vanessa's attention. Within a few days, a complication arises. What chance does Max have? Can the coach improvise?
- DirectorKevin GreutertStarsTobin BellCostas MandylorMark RolstonAgent Strahm is dead, and FBI agent Erickson draws nearer to Hoffman. Meanwhile, a pair of insurance executives find themselves in another game set by Jigsaw.
- DirectorJorge BlancoJavier AbadMarcos MartínezStarsDwayne JohnsonSeann William ScottJessica BielAn alien civilization is invaded by Astronaut Chuck Baker, who believes that the planet was uninhabited. Wanted by the military, Baker must get back to his ship before it goes into orbit without him.
- DirectorPaul McGuiganStarsCamilla BelleDakota FanningChris EvansTwo young Americans with special abilities must race to find a girl in Hong Kong before a shadowy government organization called Division does.
- DirectorAlex ProyasStarsNicolas CageChandler CanterburyRose ByrneM.I.T. professor John Koestler links a mysterious list of numbers from a time capsule to past and future disasters and sets out to prevent the ultimate catastrophe.
- DirectorGérard BittonMichel MunzStarsGérard LanvinJean-Pierre DarroussinBarbara SchulzThe cook at an international bank stumbles upon insider trading secrets. With his best friend, he starts turning his life around. But soon, the whole neighborhood is counting on him.
- DirectorBurr SteersStarsZac EfronMatthew PerryLeslie MannMike O'Donnell is ungrateful for how his life turned out. He gets a chance to rewrite his life when he tried to save a janitor near a bridge and jumped after him into a time vortex.
- DirectorRoger DelattreStarsJean-Marie BigardDavid StrajmaysterThiam AïssatouA recently released convict goes to a small village to lay low for a while. His contact is the local priest. Unfortunately, the priest suddenly dies and the villagers all think that the con is their new village priest.
- DirectorPatrick TatopoulosStarsRhona MitraMichael SheenBill NighyA prequel centered on the origins of the centuries-old feud between the race of aristocratic vampires and their former slaves, the Lycans.
- DirectorJustin LinStarsVin DieselPaul WalkerMichelle RodriguezBrian O'Conner, back working for the FBI in Los Angeles, teams up with Dominic Toretto to bring down a heroin importer by infiltrating his operation.
- DirectorAntoine FuquaStarsRichard GereDon CheadleEthan HawkeThree unconnected Brooklyn cops wind up at the same deadly location after enduring vastly different career paths.
- DirectorSteve CarrStarsKevin JamesKeir O'DonnellJayma MaysWhen a shopping mall is taken over by a gang of organized crooks, it's up to a mild-mannered security guard to save the day.
- DirectorMarc LawrenceStarsHugh GrantSarah Jessica ParkerSam ElliottIn New York City, an estranged couple who witness a murder are relocated to small town Wyoming as part of the Witness Protection Program.
- DirectorPhil TraillStarsSandra BullockBradley CooperThomas Haden ChurchConvinced that a CCN cameraman is her true love, an eccentric crossword puzzler trails him as he travels all over the country, hoping to convince him that they belong together.
- DirectorHarold RamisStarsJack BlackMichael CeraOlivia WildeAfter being banished from their tribe, two hunter-gatherers encounter Biblical characters and eventually wind up in the city of Sodom.
- DirectorKevin TancharoenStarsKelsey GrammerBebe NeuwirthMegan MullallyAn updated version of the musical Fame (1980), which centered on the students of the New York Academy of Performing Arts. The name of the school in 1980 was Fiorello Laguardia High School.
- DirectorOlivier BarouxStarsKad MeradLionel AbelanskiValérie BenguiguiTour organizer, Richard Dacier, bites off more than he can chew when he loses at poker to the South African mob. Coming face to face with Africa's cruellest Godfather, Mr. Charles, he is given two choices: either Charles' men kill Bako, or add an extra tourist to his upcoming safari and ensure the safe delivery of a locked briefcase. A simple task it seems...
- DirectorWalt BeckerStarsRobin WilliamsJohn TravoltaSeth GreenTwo friends and business partners find their lives turned upside-down when strange circumstances lead them to be the temporary guardians of 7-year-old twins.
- DirectorGary WinickStarsKate HudsonAnne HathawayCandice BergenTwo best friends become rivals when they schedule their respective weddings on the same day.
- DirectorNelson McCormickStarsPenn BadgleyDylan WalshSela WardMichael Harding (Penn Badgely) returns home from military school to find his mother Susan (Sela Ward) happily in love and living with her new boyfriend David (Dylan Walsh). As the two men get to know each other, he becomes more and more suspicious of the man who is always there to help.
- DirectorJonas ElmerStarsRenée ZellwegerHarry Connick Jr.Siobhan Fallon HoganA Miami, Florida businesswoman adjusts to her new life in a small Minnesota town.
- DirectorLaurent TuelStarsJean RenoGaspard UllielVahina GiocanteThe Malakian clan, a family of ruthless gangsters, controls the underworld of Southern France.
- DirectorMira NairStarsHilary SwankRichard GereEwan McGregorA look at the life of legendary American pilot Amelia Earhart, who disappeared while flying over the Pacific Ocean in 1937 in an attempt to make a flight around the world.
- DirectorPaul WeitzStarsChris MassogliaJohn C. ReillySalma HayekTeenager Darren Shan meets a mysterious man at a freak show who turns out to be a vampire. After a series of events, Darren must leave his normal life and go on the road with the Cirque du Freak, becoming a creature of the night.
- DirectorAgnieszka Wojtowicz-VoslooStarsChristina RicciLiam NeesonJustin LongAfter a car accident, a young woman caught between life and death meets a funeral director who claims to have the gift of transitioning the dead into the afterlife.
- DirectorJonathan MostowStarsBruce WillisRadha MitchellVing RhamesSet in a futuristic world where humans live in isolation and interact through surrogate robots, a cop is forced to leave his home for the first time in years in order to investigate the murders of others' surrogates.
- DirectorDon RoosStarsNatalie PortmanScott CohenLisa KudrowThe story of a woman dealing with her infant daughter's death while trying to keep her marriage and her relationship with her stepson.
- DirectorRobert LuketicStarsKatherine HeiglGerard ButlerBree TurnerAn uptight television producer takes control of a morning show segment on modern relationships hosted by a misogynistic man.
- DirectorKieran MulroneyMichele MulroneyStarsJeff DanielsEmma StoneRyan ReynoldsA washed-up writer forms an unlikely friendship with a teenager from Long Island.
- DirectorWayne KramerStarsHarrison FordAshley JuddRay LiottaCrossing Over is about illegal aliens of many nationalities in the Los Angeles area and the authorities and individuals dealing with them.
- DirectorRob MarshallStarsDaniel Day-LewisMarion CotillardPenélope CruzFamous film director Guido Contini struggles to find harmony in his professional and personal lives, as he engages in dramatic relationships with his wife, his mistress, his muse, his agent, and his mother.
- DirectorPeter CornwellStarsVirginia MadsenMartin DonovanElias KoteasAfter a family is forced to relocate for their son's health, they begin experiencing supernatural behavior in their new home, and uncover a sinister history.
- DirectorOlatunde OsunsanmiStarsMilla JovovichElias KoteasWill PattonA thriller involving an ongoing unsolved mystery in Alaska, where one town has seen an extraordinary number of unexplained disappearances during the past 40 years and there are accusations of a federal cover up.
- DirectorÉlie ChouraquiStarsMarc LavoineBarbara SchulzGérard DarmonA young boy must accept his divorced mother's new fiancé.
- DirectorJean-Jacques ZilbermannStarsAntoine de CaunesMehdi DehbiElsa ZylbersteinA clarinetist is trying to finish his record when his wife and ten year old son reappear in his life.
- DirectorChris ColumbusStarsHayden PanettierePaul RustJack CarpenterA nerdy valedictorian proclaims his love for Beth Cooper--the hottest, most popular girl in school--during his graduation speech. That very night, she shows up at his door offering to show him the best night of his life.
- DirectorThomas GilouStarsPierre RichardLambert WilsonClémentine CélariéWhen a family wins a contest to adopt Victor, an 85-year-old man, the magazine intern who hatched the idea must undo what has been done.
- DirectorBo ZengaStarsSteve HoweyDiora BairdKenan ThompsonA spoof on many horror movie series. Ending his shift at the video rental, Stan's picked up by his BFF and 2 cute girls, all going to a Halloween party. Will they even get there?
- DirectorDamien Dante WayansStarsMarlon WayansShawn WayansShoshana BushStreet dancer Thomas Uncles is from the wrong side of the tracks, but his bond with the beautiful Megan White might help the duo realize their dreams as they enter in the mother of all dance battles.
- DirectorStewart HendlerStarsBriana EviganRumer WillisCarrie FisherA group of sorority sisters try to cover up the death of their house-sister after a prank gone wrong, only to be stalked by a serial killer.
- DirectorTodd LouisoStarsJason SchwartzmanBen StillerAnna KendrickFormer high school musical star, Marc Pease, finds himself still living in the past, eight years after graduating.
- DirectorMark NeveldineBrian TaylorStarsJason StathamAmy SmartClifton Collins Jr.Chelios faces a Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker which requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working.
- DirectorDavid CharhonStarsElie SemounLéa DruckerLaurent StockerUgly geek becomes a hunk thanks to a deodorant.
- DirectorGérard JugnotStarsGérard JugnotBernard Le CoqJuan DiegoParis 1577 - King Henri III gives famous couturier Pic Saint Loup a crucial diplomatic mission. He must go to Spain to make a magnificent gown for the wedding of the King's nephew to the daughter of a Spanish noble. The trouble is that the real creative brains behind Saint Loup's outfit is his Moorish assistant, while his perfumer is a Marano Jew and his hairdresser is out, loud and very proud. And Catholic Spain, in the grip of the Inquisition, is no place for Arabs, Jews and homosexuals (Saint Loup is anything but heterosexual). To make matters worse, his secretary is an undercover Protestant plotting revenge for the St. Bartholomew's Day massacre and the father of the bride turns out to be the Chief Inquisitor of Cordoba.
- DirectorJames HuthStarsJean DujardinMichaël YounSylvie TestudFearless gunslinger Lucky Luke is ordered by the President to bring peace to Daisy Town.
- DirectorDavid MackenzieStarsAshton KutcherAnne HecheMargarita LevievaA drama centered on a serial womanizer and his jilted lover.
- DirectorDonald PetrieStarsNia VardalosRichard DreyfussRachel DratchA disgruntled tour guide in Greece gains an unexpected new outlook on life thanks to one of the people on what she intends to be her last tour.
- DirectorPhilippe LefebvreStarsFrançois BerléandThierry LhermitteSami BouajilaCannes, the French Riviera. Armand Teillard is happy with life: a busy store downtown, a delightful girlfriend, a magnificent record collection, and lunch every day at Sofia and Martial's family restaurant with a perfect sea view. So when Sofia tells Armand that Zapetti, a property developer with Mafia connections, is putting the squeeze on her to sell up, he is horrified. Armand is an easy-going guy, but when he gets mad... actually, Armand never gets mad. He leaves that to his twin brother Maurice, The Whistler. When Maurice rides into town in his Aston Martin and designer suit, Zapetti, his mob and the corrupt local politicians are in trouble. But what if, behind the dyed hair and tinted contact lenses, Maurice and Armand are one and the same guy? Is Cannes big enough for the both of them?
- DirectorGeorge A. RomeroStarsAlan Van SprangKenneth WelshKathleen MunroeOn an island off the coast of North America, local residents simultaneously fight a zombie epidemic while hoping for a cure to return their un-dead relatives back to their human state.
- DirectorDidier BourdonStarsDidier BourdonAnne ConsignyPierre ArditiAlain hopes to have a baby with his wife Anna. However, Anna believes she is destined to become a famous pianist rather than a housewife and mother.
- DirectorYannick DahanBenjamin RocherStarsClaude PerronJean-Pierre MartinsEriq EbouaneyAn end of the world battle between gangsters, cops and zombies.
- DirectorJohn HyamsStarsDolph LundgrenJean-Claude Van DammeAndrei ArlovskiTerrorists kidnap the Russian Prime Minister's 2 kids, take Chernobyl nuclear power plant and threaten to blow up a reactor. 4 Universal Soldiers go in but are no match to a Next Gen. UniSol Luc (Jean-Claude Van Damme) goes in but faces 2 NGUs.
- DirectorGangliang FangPing JiangStarsYishan ZhangJackie ChanQixing Aisin-GioroJackie Chan is the undefeated Kung Fu Master who dishes out the action in traditional Jackie Chan style. When a young boy sets out to learn how to fight from the Master himself, he not only witnesses some spectacular fights, but learns some important life lessons along the way.
- DirectorThor FreudenthalStarsEmma RobertsJake T. AustinLisa KudrowTwo kids secretly take in stray dogs at a vacant hotel.
- DirectorJohn SchultzStarsAshley TisdaleRobert HoffmanCarter JenkinsA group of kids must protect their vacation home from invading aliens.
- DirectorIvan CalbéracStarsMathilde SeignerBernard CampanBertille ChabertA 12 year old girl and her 8 year old brother live one week with their mother and the next week with their father. Each child must cope in the only ways they know.
- DirectorPhil ClaydonStarsPaul McGannJames CordenMyAnna BuringTheir women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires thanks to an ancient curse, the remaining menfolk of a rural town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice.
- DirectorClare KilnerStarsJenna DewanBo BurnhamBrianne DavisA night of debauchery threatens a sexually abstinent student's college standing.
- DirectorWill GluckStarsEric Christian OlsenNicholas D'AgostoSarah RoemerThe two most popular guys in high school decide to ditch football camp for cheerleader camp. For the girls and for the glory.
- DirectorPeter BillingsleyStarsVince VaughnMalin AkermanJon FavreauA comedy centered around four couples who settle into a tropical-island resort for a vacation. While one of the couples is there to work on the marriage, the others fail to realize that participation in the resort's therapy sessions is not optional.
- DirectorDavid OndaatjeStarsAlfred MolinaHope DavisShane WestA couple rents out a room to a mysterious young man, who may or may not be guilty of a series of grisly neighborhood murders.
- DirectorCharles GuardThomas GuardStarsEmily BrowningArielle KebbelElizabeth BanksAnna returns home after a stint in a mental hospital, but her recovery is jeopardized by her father's new girlfriend and ghastly visions of her dead mother.
- DirectorLara ShapiroStarsLindsay LohanLuke KirbyChris ParnellA young woman pretends to be pregnant in order to avoid being fired from her job. When that gets her special treatment by everyone involved in her life, she tries to keep up the lie for nine months.
- DirectorSteven E. GordonBoyd KirklandStarsG.K. BowesCam ClarkeDoug ErholtzFairy tales collide when Mambo and Munk tip the scales of good and evil once again. This time Princess Snow White is a misguided teenager who'd rather have fun with friends Red Riding Hood, Goldilocks and Little Bo Peep than help peasants. When Snow White's father is matched up with Lady Vain - a scheming witch brewing to rule the kingdom - Snow White becomes a thorn in Lady Vain's side. Snow White is soon tricked by Lady Vain (with Rumpelstiltskin's help) into spreading vicious gossip about the townspeople, forcing her to flee. Through rebuilding the three little pigs' houses with the seven dwarves leading the way, Snow White learns the value of helping others. Only Snow White can foil her dad's wedding to stop Lady Vain. With Mambo and Munk in tow, Snow White proves she can rule the kingdom, while bringing balance back to the scales of good and evil.
- DirectorAmanda SthersStarsCarole BouquetPierre ArditiAnne MarivinSix destinies will be, just for a moment, intertwine at one airport.
- DirectorValérie GuignabodetStarsFrançois-Xavier DemaisonPascale ArbillotMathias MlekuzTwo happily-married and successful divorce attorneys finally reach a disagreement: their own divorce.
- DirectorMark WatersStarsMatthew McConaugheyJennifer GarnerEmma StoneWhile attending his brother's wedding, a serial womanizer is haunted by the ghosts of his past girlfriends.
- DirectorCécile TelermanStarsMathilde SeignerPascal ElbéOlivier MarchalMady Celliers, an attractive housewife of 60, he spends his life speaking ill of her two daughters and her husband.
- DirectorAlix De MaistreStarsMiou-MiouOlivier GourmetKevin LelannierMarch 4th 2001. The unspeakable occurs. Every parent's most dreaded nightmare. Toni, an eight year old boy disappears. Eight years later, the police receive a phone call from a teenager. He calls himself Toni. Would you recognize your son after eight years in hell? A riveting psychological journey into loss, love, need and deception.
- DirectorPierre-François Martin-LavalStarsFlorence ForestiPierre-François Martin-LavalPierre RichardMagalie and Guillaume are just as much in love as the day they met, living a quiet life in the suburbs, between modest dreams and a long awaited pregnancy. Yet everything gets complicated when Guillaume's contacted by his estranged father.
- DirectorJacques-Olivier MolonPierre-Olivier TheveninStarsSara ForestierLorànt DeutschDominique PinonA team of several researchers travel to the Swiss Alps to investigate a scientific discovery on human evolution.
- DirectorDario ArgentoStarsAdrien BrodyEmmanuelle SeignerElsa PatakyIn Italy, a woman fears her sister has been kidnapped; Inspector Enzo Avolfi fears it's worse. They team up to rescue her from a sadistic killer known only as Yellow.