Movies I Can't Stand
My list of movies I can't stand.
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- DirectorJohn LandisStarsDan AykroydJohn GoodmanWalter LevineElwood must reunite the old band, with a few new members, and go on another "Mission from God."Oh boy...this movie was a total stinker and it shows. Like the Nostalgia Critic's review said - it has no plot, no comedy and they didn't even have the other Blues Brother. Landis completely disowned the studio because of this and he refuses to acknowledge this so called sequel even exists.
- DirectorLarry PeerceStarsMichael ChiklisRay SharkeyJ.T. WalshThe ghost of John Belushi looks back on his troubled life and career, while journalist Bob Woodward researches Belushi's life as he prepares to write a book about the late comic actor.This movie was nothing but a crappy feature length PSA about the evils of drug-use. I'm sorry but what was with that angel crap? Fantasy elements do NOT belong in a movie about a real person.
- DirectorBetty ThomasStarsJohn Michael HigginsDaniel RoebuckKathy BatesA dramatization of the rivalry between David Letterman and Jay Leno over which of them would succeed Johnny Carson as the host of "The Tonight Show".This movie isn't bad, it's just I wish that Daniel Roebuck would have been better as Jay Leno. He looked like Leno but he sounded more than Adam Sandler. I wish he could have tried harder.
- DirectorRobert StevensonStarsJulie AndrewsDick Van DykeDavid TomlinsonIn turn of the century London, a magical nanny employs music and adventure to help two neglected children become closer to their father.I know this movie is a classic but I got over-exposed to it during a tutoring session. There was this one person who was overly obsessed with it and it drove me crazy.
- DirectorAaron SeltzerJason FriedbergStarsAlyson HanniganAdam CampbellFred WillardSpoof of romantic comedies which focuses on a man, his crush, his parents, and her father.I liked it when I first saw it but then I realized that Seltzer-berg flat out sucks at parodies.
- DirectorKenny OrtegaStarsZac EfronVanessa HudgensAshley TisdaleA popular high school athlete and an academically gifted girl get roles in the school musical and develop a friendship that threatens East High's social order.Too many bad experiences with this movie.
- DirectorKenny OrtegaStarsZac EfronVanessa HudgensAshley TisdaleSchool's out for summer and the East High Wildcats are ready to make it the time of their lives after landing jobs in a wealthy country club owned by Sharpay and Ryan's family.See above.
- DirectorKenny OrtegaStarsZac EfronVanessa HudgensAshley TisdaleAs seniors in high school, Troy and Gabriella struggle with the idea of being separated from one another as college approaches. Along with the rest of the Wildcats, they stage a spring musical to address their experiences, hopes and fears about their future.See my entry for the first movie.
- DirectorAndrew AdamsonStarsTilda SwintonGeorgie HenleyWilliam MoseleyWhile playing, Lucy and her siblings find a wardrobe that lands them in a mystical place called Narnia. Here they realize that it was fated and they must now unite with Aslan to defeat an evil queen.I did not care for this movie as I never was really into the Narnia series, I only saw bits of the BBC TV version.
- DirectorRobert ZemeckisStarsTom HanksRobin WrightGary SiniseThe history of the United States from the 1950s to the '70s unfolds from the perspective of an Alabama man with an IQ of 75, who yearns to be reunited with his childhood sweetheart.I'm sorry but in my opinion this was where Tom Hanks got boring and did all those dramatic parts, I just don't understand why this movie gets the praise it gets.
- DirectorRon HowardStarsTom HanksAudrey TautouJean RenoA murder inside the Louvre, and clues in Da Vinci paintings, lead to the discovery of a religious mystery protected by a secret society for two thousand years, which could shake the foundations of Christianity.I'm sorry but Tom Hanks was NOT right for the part of Robert Langdon.
- DirectorMichael ColdeweyMichel LemireStarsMichael IronsideJulie StrainBilly IdolAfter surviving an invasion on her peaceful homeworld, a beautiful avenger must stop a powerful psychopath from gaining immortality and rescue her kidnapped sister.Well at least this one actually came out in 2000.
- DirectorAndrew KnightStarsPaige O'HaraRobby BensonJerry OrbachAstonished to find the Beast has a deep-seated hatred for the Christmas season, Belle endeavors to change his mind on the matter.I don't like what they did to the characters, especially what they did to Belle and Beast.
- DirectorPaul HoenStarsCorbin BleuKeke PalmerDavid ReiversA teenager is pressured by his father to become a boxer - but a local girl introduces him to the very different sport of rope-jumping.Same formula as High School Musical.
- DirectorOz ScottStarsRaven-SymonéAdrienne HoughtonKiely WilliamsFour teens aim to take the world by storm with their music.Apply the formula that made High School Musical to a girl-band movie and you get this.
- DirectorJason WinerStarsRussell BrandHelen MirrenJennifer GarnerA drunken playboy stands to lose a wealthy inheritance when he falls for a woman his family doesn't like.Why was this even made? Look I do not hate Russell Brand. It's just...why? Why is that man popular? He just acts like a sex-crazed party animal most of the time and he only appears in movies either shirtless or naked, in other words just fan-service for girls/women who are just plain desperate, crazy or both. He was so annoying in this movie I wanted him to die a horrible painful death.
- DirectorSamuel BayerStarsJackie Earle HaleyRooney MaraKyle GallnerThe spectre of a disfigured man haunts the children of the parents who murdered him, stalking and killing them in their dreams.I'm sorry but Jackie Earl Haley just wasn't as good as Robert Englund when it comes to the part of Freddy.
- DirectorJason FriedbergAaron SeltzerStarsKal PennJennifer CoolidgeFred WillardA spoof on previous years' epic movies (The Da Vinci Code (2006), The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005) + 20 more), TV series, music videos and celebs. 4 orphans are on an epic adventure.Liked it at first but then I realized it sucked.
- DirectorJason FriedbergAaron SeltzerStarsSean MaguireKevin SorboCarmen ElectraA spoof of 300 (2006) and many other movies, TV series/shows/commercials, video games and celebrities. King Leonidas of Sparta and his army of 12 go to war against Xerxes of Persia to fight to the death for Sparta's freedom.How did this movie end up beating Rambo?
- DirectorCatherine HardwickeStarsKristen StewartRobert PattinsonBilly BurkeWhen Bella Swan moves to a small town in the Pacific Northwest, she falls in love with Edward Cullen, a mysterious classmate who reveals himself to be a 108-year-old vampire.Do I need to explain?
- DirectorLawrence GutermanStarsJamie KennedyTraylor HowardAlan CummingTim Avery, an aspiring cartoonist, finds himself in a predicament when his dog stumbles upon the mask of Loki. Then after conceiving an infant son "born of the mask", he discovers just how looney child raising can be.I'm just glad that Jim Carrey is going to be in the actual sequel to Dumb and Dumber.
- DirectorJohn SchultzStarsCedric The EntertainerMike EppsGabrielle UnionWorking class New York bus driver Ralph Kramden is always coming up with get-rich-quick schemes for him and his best friend, Ed Norton, who's always around to help him get in (and out of) trouble.I'm not racist or anything but...what were they thinking when they cast Cedric as Ralph? What? Was John Goodman busy or something?
- DirectorOwen HurleyStarsKelly SheridanAnjelica HustonCree SummerBarbie is an artist who paints her way out of a castle to save her prince.Just about any of the Barbie movies, because well Barbie just represents those girly girly stereotypes I hate so much.
- DirectorRob ReinerStarsElijah WoodBruce WillisJason AlexanderSick of the neglect he receives from his mom and dad, a young boy leaves home and travels the world in search of new parents.Dan Aykroyd...WHY? Between this and Blues Brothers 2000, the 90's were a very bad era for you.
- DirectorPerry Andelin BlakeStarsDana CarveyJennifer EspositoHarold GouldAn Italian waiter fights off a criminal mastermind with his inherited powers of disguise.Liked it because of the soundtrack but I was kind of gullible back when this movie came out.
- DirectorCraig GillespieStarsAnton YelchinColin FarrellDavid Tennant"Fright Night" - A new neighbor moves in next to Charley, who discovers that he is an ancient vampire who preys on the community. Can he save his neighborhood from the creature with the help of the famous "vampire killer", Peter Vincent?Just an excuse to cash-in on the vampire craze.
- DirectorJonathan LevineStarsNicholas HoultTeresa PalmerJohn MalkovichAfter a highly unusual zombie saves a still-living girl from an attack, the two form a relationship that sets in motion events that might transform the entire lifeless world.Twilight: Walking Dead Edition.
- DirectorJoe NimzikiStarsLandon LiboironLindsey ShawIvana MilicevicA teenage outcast discovers he is a werewolf, and must battle a pack of the brutal creatures when they threaten him and his new girlfriend.Twilight with werewolves.
- DirectorDanny CannonStarsJennifer Love HewittFreddie Prinze Jr.Brandy NorwoodThe murderous fisherman with a hook is back to once again stalk the two surviving teens, Julie and Ray, who had left him for dead, as well as cause even more murder and mayhem, this time at a posh island resort.Not a terrible sequel, but the scene with Jack Black dying really upset me.