All The Meh & Sucktastic Movies I've Seen
These movies range in quality from "Meh" to "Dear God, why!?!" First I decided it might be worthwhile to try and list every movie I've ever seen. Then I decided to just make it movies I think are OK until I run out before adding the stinky ones because the other task would probably take about 20 years of doing nothing else. Then I decided to do parallel lists. One of good, one of bad. I tried this using Facebook and got up to about 1600 entries, but there were too many titles I just couldn't find so I'm switching to the one here. I wish IMDB had a similar clustered, graphical interface for listing though.
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- DirectorBilly WilderStarsWilliam HoldenGloria SwansonErich von StroheimA screenwriter develops a dangerous relationship with a faded film star determined to make a triumphant return.
- DirectorF.W. MurnauStarsGeorge O'BrienJanet GaynorMargaret LivingstonA sophisticated city woman seduces a farmer and convinces him to murder his wife and join her in the city, but he ends up rekindling his romance with his wife when he changes his mind at the last moment.
- DirectorElia KazanStarsVivien LeighMarlon BrandoKim HunterDisturbed Blanche DuBois moves in with her sister in New Orleans and is tormented by her brutish brother-in-law while her reality crumbles around her.
- DirectorGeorge StevensStarsElizabeth TaylorRock HudsonJames DeanSprawling epic covering the life of a Texas cattle rancher and his family and associates.
- DirectorOrson WellesStarsOrson WellesJoseph CottenDorothy ComingoreFollowing the death of publishing tycoon Charles Foster Kane, reporters scramble to uncover the meaning of his final utterance: 'Rosebud.'
- DirectorRobert AldrichStarsBette DavisJoan CrawfordVictor BuonoA former child star torments her paraplegic sister in their decaying Hollywood mansion.
- DirectorNicholas RayStarsJames DeanNatalie WoodSal MineoA rebellious young man with a troubled past comes to a new town, finding friends and enemies.
- DirectorTom FordStarsColin FirthJulianne MooreMatthew GoodeAn English professor, one year after the sudden death of his boyfriend, is unable to cope with his typical days in 1960s Los Angeles.
- DirectorFrank PerryStarsFaye DunawayDiana ScarwidSteve ForrestThe abusive and traumatic adoptive upbringing of Christina Crawford at the hands of her mother, screen queen Joan Crawford, is depicted.
- DirectorKen RussellStarsRoger DaltreyAnn-MargretOliver ReedA psychosomatically blind, deaf, and mute boy becomes a master pinball player and, subsequently, the figurehead of a cult.
- DirectorHal AshbyStarsRuth GordonBud CortVivian PicklesYoung, rich, and obsessed with death, Harold finds himself changed forever when he meets lively septuagenarian Maude at a funeral.
- DirectorBob FosseStarsLiza MinnelliMichael YorkHelmut GriemA female girlie club entertainer in Weimar Republic era Berlin romances two men while the Nazi Party rises to power around them.
- DirectorNicole HolofcenerStarsJulia Louis-DreyfusJames GandolfiniCatherine KeenerA divorced woman who decides to pursue the man she's interested in learns he's her new friend's ex-husband.
- DirectorGary RossStarsJennifer LawrenceJosh HutchersonLiam HemsworthKatniss Everdeen voluntarily takes her younger sister's place in the Hunger Games: a televised competition in which two teenagers from each of the twelve Districts of Panem are chosen at random to fight to the death.
- DirectorCatherine HardwickeStarsKristen StewartRobert PattinsonBilly BurkeWhen Bella Swan moves to a small town in the Pacific Northwest, she falls in love with Edward Cullen, a mysterious classmate who reveals himself to be a 108-year-old vampire.
- DirectorAlfonso CuarónStarsSandra BullockGeorge ClooneyEd HarrisDr Ryan Stone, an engineer on her first time on a space mission, and Matt Kowalski, an astronaut on his final expedition, have to survive in space after they are hit by debris while spacewalking.
- DirectorJ.J. AbramsStarsChris PineZachary QuintoZoe SaldanaAfter the crew of the Enterprise find an unstoppable force of terror from within their own organization, Captain Kirk leads a manhunt to a war-zone world to capture a one-man weapon of mass destruction.
- DirectorBrad FurmanStarsBen AffleckJustin TimberlakeGemma ArtertonWhen a poor college student who cracks an online poker game goes bust, he arranges a face-to-face with the man he thinks cheated him, a sly offshore entrepreneur.
- DirectorEvan GoldbergSeth RogenStarsJames FrancoJonah HillSeth RogenSix Los Angeles celebrities are stuck in James Franco's house after a series of devastating events just destroyed the city. Inside, the group not only have to face the apocalypse, but themselves.There was one good joke in this movie; just one. Not good enough.
- DirectorRoger AllersRob MinkoffStarsMatthew BroderickJeremy IronsJames Earl JonesLion prince Simba and his father are targeted by his bitter uncle, who wants to ascend the throne himself.Just barely enough meh to tip the scales onto this list.
- DirectorAlfred HitchcockStarsCary GrantIngrid BergmanClaude RainsThe daughter of a convicted German spy is asked by American agents to gather information on a ring of German scientists in South America. How far will she have to go to ingratiate herself with them?Good actors, hammy directing, ham-fisted writing.
- DirectorPeter WeirStarsHarrison FordKelly McGillisLukas HaasWhile protecting an Amish boy - who is the sole witness to a brutal murder - and his mother, a detective is forced to seek refuge within their community when his own life is threatened.Creepiest "falling in love" scene ever. And the rest of the film's just kind of stupid.
- DirectorD.W. GriffithStarsLillian GishRichard BarthelmessDonald CrispA frail waif, abused by her brutal boxer father in London's seedy Limehouse District, is befriended by a sensitive Chinese immigrant with tragic consequences.Too tear-jerky, not enough hope for the characters. What's the point? Other than heavy handed social commentary about racism, I suppose.
- DirectorSydney PollackStarsDustin HoffmanJessica LangeTeri GarrMichael Dorsey, an unsuccessful actor, disguises himself as a woman in order to get a role on a trashy hospital soap.That love interest character is way too forgiving.
- DirectorMike NicholsStarsMelanie GriffithHarrison FordSigourney WeaverWhen a secretary's idea is stolen by her boss, she seizes an opportunity to steal it back by pretending she has her boss' job.That love interest character in this is also way too forgiving.
- DirectorMichelangelo AntonioniStarsGabriele FerzettiMonica VittiLea MassariA woman disappears during a Mediterranean boating trip. During the search, her lover and her best friend become attracted to each other.
- DirectorJason ReitmanStarsElliot PageMichael CeraJennifer GarnerFaced with an unplanned pregnancy, an offbeat young woman makes a selfless decision regarding the unborn child.So . . . pretentious . . . suffocates . . . audience.... Glaghckthpssth!
- DirectorAndrei TarkovskyStarsNatalya BondarchukDonatas BanionisJüri JärvetA psychologist is sent to a station orbiting a distant planet in order to discover what has caused the crew to go insane.
- DirectorRainer Werner FassbinderStarsBrigitte MiraEl Hedi ben SalemBarbara ValentinA lonely widow meets a much younger Moroccan worker in a bar during a rainstorm. They fall in love, to their own surprise and to the outright shock of their families, colleagues, and drinking buddies.One of my teachers tortured a whole class with this, then made us write two essays about it. God, how it sucks!
- DirectorGus Van SantStarsElias McConnellAlex FrostEric DeulenSeveral ordinary high school students go through their daily routine as two others prepare for something more malevolent.Just watch Bowling for Columbine and skip this trash.
- DirectorDaniel MyrickEduardo SánchezStarsHeather DonahueMichael C. WilliamsJoshua LeonardThree film students vanish after traveling into a Maryland forest to film a documentary on the local Blair Witch legend, leaving only their footage behind.
- DirectorAndrew StantonStarsBen BurttElissa KnightJeff GarlinIn the distant future, a small waste-collecting robot inadvertently embarks on a space journey that will ultimately decide the fate of mankind.So repetitive, beats the audience to death with every little point. And that musical hook, again, and again, and...
- DirectorJohn SaylesStarsJoe MortonDaryl EdwardsRosanna CarterA mute alien with the appearance of a black human is chased by outer-space bounty hunters through the streets of Harlem.
- DirectorChris WedgeCarlos SaldanhaStarsDenis LearyJohn LeguizamoRay RomanoThe story revolves around sub-zero heroes: a woolly mammoth, a saber-toothed tiger, a sloth and a prehistoric combination of a squirrel and rat, known as Scrat.
- DirectorRichard LinklaterStarsJack BlackMike WhiteJoan CusackAfter being kicked out of his rock band, Dewey Finn becomes a substitute teacher of an uptight elementary private school, only to try and turn his class into a rock band.Sorry, he's just too obnoxious for me in this one.
- DirectorTerry GilliamStarsBruce WillisMadeleine StoweBrad PittIn a future world devastated by disease, a convict is sent back in time to gather information about the man-made virus that wiped out most of the human population on the planet.
- DirectorWalter HillStarsNick NolteEddie MurphyAnnette O'TooleA hard-nosed cop reluctantly teams up with a wise-cracking criminal temporarily paroled to him in order to track down a killer.
- DirectorJohn SingletonStarsTaylor LautnerLily CollinsAlfred MolinaA young man sets out to uncover the truth about his life after finding his baby photo on a missing persons website.
- DirectorChris WeitzPaul WeitzStarsHugh GrantNicholas HoultToni ColletteWill, who attends single parent meetings to woo women, meets Marcus, a troubled 12-year-old boy. As they become friends, Will learns to be responsible while he helps Marcus with his studies.
- DirectorBarry SonnenfeldStarsAnjelica HustonRaul JuliaChristopher LloydThe Addams Family try to rescue their beloved Uncle Fester from his gold-digging new love, a black widow named Debbie.
- DirectorLeo McCareyStarsCary GrantDeborah KerrRichard DenningA couple falls in love and agrees to meet in six months at the Empire State Building - but will it happen?The first part is alright, but the latter part is pure poo.
- DirectorDouglas SirkStarsJane WymanRock HudsonAgnes MooreheadAn upper-class widow falls in love with a much younger, down-to-earth nurseryman, much to the disapproval of her children and criticism of her country club peers.
- DirectorCameron CroweStarsBilly CrudupPatrick FugitKate HudsonA high-school boy in the early 1970s is given the chance to write a story for Rolling Stone magazine about an up-and-coming rock band as he accompanies them on their concert tour.
- DirectorSam MendesStarsKevin SpaceyAnnette BeningThora BirchA sexually frustrated suburban father has a mid-life crisis after becoming infatuated with his daughter's best friend.
- DirectorGeorge SidneyBusby BerkeleyStarsBetty HuttonHoward KeelLouis CalhernThe story of the great sharpshooter Annie Oakley, who rose to fame while dealing with her love/professional rival, Frank Butler.Meh.
- DirectorChris ColumbusStarsTaye DiggsWilson Jermaine HerediaRosario DawsonIn New York City's gritty East Village, a group of bohemians strive for success and acceptance while enduring the obstacles of poverty, illness and the AIDS epidemic.
- DirectorJay RoachStarsMike MyersElizabeth HurleyMichael YorkA world-class playboy and part-time secret agent from the 1960s emerges after thirty years in a cryogenic state to battle with his nemesis Dr. Evil.Tries too hard, doesn't pull it off.
- DirectorJay RoachStarsMike MyersHeather GrahamMichael YorkDr. Evil is back and has invented a new time machine that allows him to go back to the 1960s and steal Austin Powers' mojo, inadvertently leaving him "shagless".
- DirectorJay RoachStarsMike MyersBeyoncéSeth GreenUpon learning that his father has been kidnapped, Austin Powers must travel to 1975 and defeat the aptly named villain Goldmember, who is working with Dr. Evil.
- DirectorMartin ScorseseStarsLeonardo DiCaprioCate BlanchettKate BeckinsaleA biopic depicting the early years of legendary director and aviator Howard Hughes' career from the late 1920s to the mid 1940s.
- DirectorRon HowardStarsRussell CroweEd HarrisJennifer ConnellyA mathematical genius, John Nash made an astonishing discovery early in his career and stood on the brink of international acclaim. But the handsome and arrogant Nash soon found himself on a harrowing journey of self-discovery.
- DirectorMervyn LeRoyStarsNancy KellyPatty McCormackGage ClarkeRhoda Penmark seems like your average, sweet eight-year-old girl. After her rival at school dies in mysterious circumstances at the school picnic, her mother starts to suspect that Rhoda was responsible.
- DirectorJoseph RubenStarsMacaulay CulkinElijah WoodWendy CrewsonA young boy stays with his aunt and uncle and becomes friends with his cousin, a boy of the same age who shows increasing signs of violent and psychopathic behavior.
- DirectorChris ColumbusStarsRobin WilliamsEmbeth DavidtzSam NeillAn android endeavors to become human as he gradually acquires emotions.
- DirectorMichelangelo AntonioniStarsDavid HemmingsVanessa RedgraveSarah MilesA fashion photographer unknowingly captures a death on film after following two lovers in a park.
- DirectorDoug LimanStarsFranka PotenteMatt DamonChris CooperA man is picked up by a fishing boat, bullet-riddled and suffering from amnesia, before racing to elude assassins and attempting to regain his memory.
- DirectorJim SheddenStarsJerry AronsonMarilyn BrakhageStan BrakhageA film about the life and work of avant-garde filmmaker Stan Brakhage.Too bad someone didn't collect all his garbage and flush it decades ago.
- DirectorFrancis Ford CoppolaStarsGary OldmanWinona RyderAnthony HopkinsThe centuries old vampire Count Dracula comes to England to seduce his barrister Jonathan Harker's fiancée Mina Murray and inflict havoc in the foreign land.
- DirectorAaron BlaiseRobert WalkerStarsJoaquin PhoenixJeremy SuarezRick MoranisWhen a young Inuit hunter needlessly kills a bear, he is magically changed into a bear himself as punishment with a talkative cub being his only guide to changing back.
- DirectorRuba NaddaStarsPatricia ClarksonAlexander SiddigElena AnayaA romantic drama about a brief, unexpected love affair that catches two people completely off-guard.
- DirectorNigel ColeStarsHelen MirrenJulie WaltersPenelope WiltonA Women's Institute chapter's fundraising effort for a local hospital by posing nude for a calendar becomes a media sensation.
- DirectorOtto PremingerStarsHarry BelafonteDorothy DandridgePearl BaileyContemporary version of the Bizet opera, with new lyrics and an African-American cast.
- DirectorMartin CampbellStarsDaniel CraigEva GreenJudi DenchAfter earning 00 status and a licence to kill, secret agent James Bond sets out on his first mission as 007. Bond must defeat a private banker funding terrorists in a high-stakes game of poker at Casino Royale, Montenegro.
- DirectorMark DindalStarsScott BakulaJasmine GuyNatalie ColeDanny, an ambitious singing and dancing cat, goes to Hollywood and overcomes several obstacles to fulfill his dream of becoming a movie star.
- DirectorRob MarshallStarsRenée ZellwegerCatherine Zeta-JonesRichard GereTwo death-row murderesses develop a fierce rivalry while competing for publicity, celebrity, and a sleazy lawyer's attention.
- DirectorJohn CarpenterStarsKeith GordonJohn StockwellAlexandra PaulA nerdish boy buys a strange car with an evil mind of its own and his nature starts to change to reflect it.
- DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsSusan SarandonTommy Lee JonesBrad RenfroA young boy who witnessed the suicide of a mafia lawyer hires an attorney to protect him when the District Attorney tries to use him to take down a mob family.
- DirectorSydney PollackStarsTom CruiseJeanne TripplehornGene HackmanA young lawyer joins a prestigious law firm only to discover that it has a sinister dark side.
- DirectorSimon WestStarsNicolas CageJohn CusackJohn MalkovichNewly-paroled ex-con and former U.S. Ranger Cameron Poe finds himself trapped in a prisoner-transport plane when the passengers seize control.
- DirectorFernando MeirellesStarsRalph FiennesRachel WeiszDanny HustonA widower's transcontinental quest to find answers about his wife's death leads him to explosive secrets.
- DirectorJessie NelsonStarsRay LiottaWhoopi GoldbergTina MajorinoIn 1959, a widower hires a kindly housekeeper/nanny to care for his seven-year-old daughter.
- DirectorRoger KumbleStarsSarah Michelle GellarRyan PhillippeReese WitherspoonTwo vicious step-siblings of an elite Manhattan prep school make a wager: to deflower the new headmaster's daughter before the start of term.
- DirectorLewis TeagueStarsDee WallaceDaniel Hugh KellyDanny PintauroCujo, a friendly St. Bernard, contracts rabies and conducts a reign of terror on a small American town.
- DirectorIrwin WinklerStarsKevin KlineAshley JuddJonathan PryceInspecting a magical biographical stage musical, composer Cole Porter reviews his life and career with his wife, Linda.
- DirectorTed DemmeRichard LaGraveneseStarsFrancis Ford CoppolaWilliam FriedkinRobert AltmanA documentary examining the decade of the 1970s as a turning point in American cinema. Some of today's best filmmakers interview the influential directors of that time.
- DirectorMimi LederStarsRobert DuvallTéa LeoniElijah WoodA comet is discovered to be on a collision course with Earth. As doomsday nears, the human race prepares for the worst.
- DirectorMike MitchellStarsRob SchneiderWilliam ForsytheEddie GriffinAn average aquarium cleaner house-sits for a gigolo, only to be forced to become one himself.
- DirectorDavid KendallStarsMilo VentimigliaLacey ChabertCharles DurningA high school has a tradition of dirty deeds the night before homecoming (if there's any volunteer) where, to win, the person performs 10 dirty deeds in 12 hours. Will Harper make it?
- DirectorPeter FarrellyBobby FarrellyStarsJim CarreyJeff DanielsLauren HollyAfter a woman leaves a briefcase at the airport terminal, a dumb limo driver and his dumber friend set out on a hilarious cross-country road trip to Aspen to return it.
- DirectorDouglas McGrathStarsGwyneth PaltrowJames CosmoGreta ScacchiWhile matchmaking for friends and neighbours, a young 19th Century Englishwoman nearly misses her own chance at love.One of those movie that's just kinda off.
- DirectorMelvin FrankStarsBob HopeLucille BallRuth HusseySophisticated comedy with Larry and Kitty leaving their spouses for an interlude together.
- DirectorBrett RatnerStarsNicolas CageTéa LeoniDon CheadleA fast-lane investment broker, offered the opportunity to see how the other half lives, wakes up to find that his sports car and girlfriend have become a mini-van and wife.
- DirectorCharles ShyerStarsSteve MartinDiane KeatonMartin ShortWith his oldest daughter's wedding approaching, a father finds himself reluctant to let go.
- DirectorCharles ShyerStarsSteve MartinDiane KeatonMartin ShortGeorge Banks must deal not only with his daughter's pregnancy, but also with his wife's.
- DirectorAndrew StantonLee UnkrichStarsAlbert BrooksEllen DeGeneresAlexander GouldAfter his son is captured in the Great Barrier Reef and taken to Sydney, a timid clownfish sets out on a journey to bring him home.
- DirectorAdrian LyneStarsJennifer BealsMichael NouriLilia SkalaAn 18-year-old female amateur dancer who performs nightly at a dancing bar, and works as a welder during the day, dreams of joining the Pittsburgh ballet school.
- DirectorJeffrey BloomStarsLouise FletcherVictoria TennantKristy SwansonChildren are hidden away under an attic by their conspiring mother and grandmother.
- DirectorCarroll BallardStarsJeff DanielsAnna PaquinDana DelanyA father and daughter decide to attempt to lead a flock of orphaned Canada Geese south by air.
- DirectorHerbert RossStarsKevin BaconLori SingerJohn LithgowA city teenager moves to a small town where rock music and dancing have been banned, and his rebellious spirit shakes up the populace.
- DirectorTed BermanRichard RichArt StevensStarsMickey RooneyKurt RussellPearl BaileyA fox named Tod and a hound named Copper vow to be best friends forever. But as Copper grows into a hunting dog, their unlikely friendship faces the ultimate test.
- DirectorStanley KubrickStarsMatthew ModineR. Lee ErmeyVincent D'OnofrioA pragmatic U.S. Marine observes the dehumanizing effects the Vietnam War has on his fellow recruits from their brutal boot camp training to the bloody street fighting in Hue.
- DirectorSam RaimiStarsCate BlanchettKatie HolmesKeanu ReevesA fortune teller with extrasensory perception is asked to help find a young woman who has mysteriously disappeared.
- DirectorCharles VidorStarsRita HayworthGlenn FordGeorge MacreadyA small-time gambler hired to work in a Buenos Aires casino discovers his employer's new wife is his former lover.
- DirectorMike NicholsStarsDustin HoffmanAnne BancroftKatharine RossA disillusioned college graduate finds himself torn between his older lover and her daughter.
- DirectorFrank DarabontStarsTom HanksMichael Clarke DuncanDavid MorseA tale set on death row, where gentle giant John Coffey possesses the mysterious power to heal people's ailments. When the lead guard, Paul Edgecombe, recognizes John's gift, he tries to help stave off the condemned man's execution.
- DirectorMervyn LeRoyStarsRosalind RussellNatalie WoodKarl MaldenBased on the Broadway hit about the life and times of burlesque dancer Gypsy Rose Lee and her aggressive stage mother, Mama Rose.
- DirectorJohn CarpenterStarsDonald PleasenceJamie Lee CurtisTony MoranFifteen years after murdering his sister on Halloween night 1963, Michael Myers escapes from a mental hospital and returns to the small town of Haddonfield, Illinois to kill again.
- DirectorMichael LehmannStarsWinona RyderChristian SlaterShannen DohertyAt Westerburg High where cliques rule, jocks dominate and all the popular girls are named Heather, it's going to take a Veronica and mysterious new kid to give teen angst a body count.
- DirectorJohn HustonStarsRobert MitchumDeborah KerrDuring World War II, an American marine and an Irish nun form an unlikely friendship after being stranded on a South Pacific island. They find comfort in one another while hoping for a rescue, as they try to avoid capture by the Japanese.
- DirectorCarl FranklinStarsJim CaviezelMorgan FreemanAshley JuddA successful lawyer's husband is arrested for murdering nine villagers in El Salvador in 1988 as a US soldier under a different name. She decides to defend him in military court and find out the truth about what happened.